Fly Jokes

Funniest Fly Short Jokes

Short fly jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fly humour may include short airplane jokes also.

1. Congratulations to the winner of last night's presidential debate! The Voyager probe, flying away from earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour.
2. Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands
   You really should upvote this joke because it never gets old
3. I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by. I just didn't realize it would Zoom.
4. Bumblebees can fly higher than mount Everest Kinda obvious. Considering mount Everest can't fly
5. If you buy a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a day… If you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life
6. Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day.
   Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
7. I asked my dad why did he become a pilot. He said, "to conquer my greatest fear." "The fear of flying?", I asked.
   "No," said dad. "The fear of dying alone."
8. Leave a man on a plane and he flies for a day. Throw a man off a plane and he flies for the rest of his life.
9. Whats the difference between an ISIS training camp and a children's hospital? I dunno, I just fly the drone...
10. What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit? Oranges have thick skin.
    Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one!

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Fly One Liners

Which fly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fly? I can suggest the ones about overhead and flew.

1. What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig? The letter F.
2. What do we want? Low flying airplane noises!
   When do we want them?
   NNEEEEOOOOWWWWW
3. Why are you flying with United Airlines? Beats me.
4. The fly remained undecided during the debate. He was..
   On the Pence
5. A penguin walks into an airport... A TSA officer stops him and says "Penguins can't fly."
6. What has 4 wheels and flies? A garbage truck
   ...I'll see myself out.
7. Why don't helicopters fly in the morning? Twirly.
8. What do you call a flying nun? A bird? A plane?
   Nope, nun of the above
9. I don't know why people are afraid of flying Most crashes happen at ground level
10. How come Peter Pan is always flying? Because he Neverlands.
11. What do you call a plane that flies backwards? A receding airline.
12. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
    I'm sorry.
13. Why is ground beef so popular? Because the flying cows are really hard to catch.
14. why can't a bicycle fly?... Because it's two tired!
15. Flying the Confederate flag doesn't make you a racist. It's usually the other way around.

Dead Fly Jokes

Here is a list of funny dead fly jokes and even better dead fly puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What's got two eyes, but can't see, two wings, but can't fly, and two legs, but can't walk? A dead bird.
• There is no reason to beat a dead horse Unless it is flying United.
• What has four legs and flies? A dead horse.
• What has 4 legs and flies? A dead cat
• I'm starting to feel that the united airlines memes are like beating a dead horse. so to save everyone some energy I bought the horse a ticket to fly United.
• Riddle: What has wings but can't fly, legs but can't walk, and a mouth but can't speak? A dead bird
• What's the difference between a deadly chemical plant and a Syrian school yard? I don't know, they just have me fly the drone
• Teacher: Give me an example of a bird that has wings but can not fly... Student: A dead bird.
• What do you call a dead fly? A flew.
• What has two wings but doesn't fly... Has two eyes but doesn't see, has two legs but doesn't walk?
  A dead bird.

Fly In Beer Jokes

Here is a list of funny fly in beer jokes and even better fly in beer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What are you doing? Killing flies
  Have you killed any?
  Yes, four males and two females
  How do you know they're female or male?
  Four were on a beer can and two on the mirror.
• I killed 2 male flies and 3 female flies! Yep, their was 2 on my beer can and 3 on the telephone.

Waiter Fly Jokes

Here is a list of funny waiter fly jokes and even better waiter fly puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I went to a restaurant and a waiter spilled chowder down my trousers, so I said... Waiter, waiter...there's soup in my fly!
• My friend has a job where he keeps seeing flying saucers He's a very clumsy waiter
• A guy goes to a restaurant and orders soup, Guy: "waiter what is this fly doing in my soup?"
  *waiter looks at soup*: "it appears to be drowning sir "
• "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup." The waiter replies, "So sorry, sir. I'll take care of that," and puts a spider in the soup.
  "Hopefully this won't take long."
• A man calls over a waiter during his meal 'There is a fly swimming in my soup!' 'Look on the bright side Sir' replied the waiter 'If the portions weren't so generous he'd be wading'
• Guy in a restaurant spills some soup in his lap... He says, "Waiter! There's some soup on my fly!"
• What did the Venus fly trap say to the waiter? Excuse me, there's no fly in my soup.
• In a restaurant: Customer: Waiter, waiter! There is a frog in my soup!!! In a restaurant:
  Customer: Waiter, waiter! There is a frog in my soup!!!
  Waiter: Sorry, sir. The fly is on vacation.
• Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup! Calm down sir, it's the near future and insects are our only sustainable protein source.
  (cautionary joke)
• A man orders soup at a restaurant. The waiter sets his plate down and he sees a fly in the bowl... So he asks the waiter, "What's this fly doing in my soup?"
  The waiter responds, "The backstroke."

Fly Fishing Jokes

Here is a list of funny fly fishing jokes and even better fly fishing puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I was just struck in the head by a flying bottle of omega 3 pills! .... luckily, my wounds were only super fish oil.
• Force Awakens joke my 9yo made up What did Poe ask Finn when they went fishing?
  "Do you know how to tie a fly tighter?"
• What's a pelican's favorite sport? *fly* fishing!
• Why was the movie about fly fishing a box office flop? Bad casting.
• I don't understand Fly fishing Why are you fishing for flies? What do you even bait them with? A starving Ethiopian?
• I really want to try fly fishing, but the equipments are just too expensive! The helicopter alone will cost thousands
• What's the best way to watch a Fly Fishing Tournament? Live Stream
• What kind of angling do stewardesses do? Fly fishing, you pun loving morons.
• What kind of whale flies?
  Pilot whales.
• You know how they say - there's plenty fish in the sea? Took a subway to work today with my fly open, didn't catch a one.

Uplifting Fly Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about fly you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dead fly jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fly pranks.