Following is our collection of funniest Fly In Beer jokes. There are some fly in beer wings jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these fly in beer biplane puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Wife: 'What are you doing dear?'
Husband: 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females'
Wife: 'How on earth do you know which gender they were?'
Husband: 'Easy - 3 were on the beer, and the other 2 were on the phone.'
Three men walk into a bar.
The barman tells them, "If you can sit in my basement for a day, I'll give you free beer forever."
The first man walks out after five minutes and says, "It's impossible, you got a swarm of flies in there."
So the second man tries his luck, but can't take more than an hour.
Finally, the third man goes down.
When he returns a day later, the others ask him how he did it.
He says, "Easy! I took a dump in one corner and sat in the other corner!"
...they each order a pint. The Englishman gets his beer, looks at it and sees a fly in it. He immediately pushes the drink aside and demands a fresh pint. The Scotsman gets his drink and there's a fly in his. He calmly picks the fly out, flicks it aside and enjoys his drink. Finally, the Irishman gets his drink and there's a fly in his. He pulls it out, holds it by the wings and screams, "Spit it out! Spit it out, you thief!"
And sees her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"Killing flies?" She asked.
"Yep, two males and three females," he responded.
"How can you tell?"
"Easy, the boys were on the beer and the girls were on the phone!"
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting Flies," he responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" she asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?", she asked.
"Hunting Flies" he responded.
"Oh, Killing any?" she asked.
"Yup. 3 males. 2 females" He responded.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"
He responded, "3 were on the beer can, and 2 were on the phone"
*Incredible*
All three of them order a beer. The Englishman sees a fly floating in his beer and calls the bartender over and demands a new beer. The American also sees a fly floating in his beer and just flicks it away and drinks the beer. The Irishman sees a fly in his beer also and picks it up and screams "SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT!"
When they get their beers, they notice a fly in each mug.
The millionaire politely asks the bartender for another beer, then sips the new one.
The hard hat spills out just enough to get rid of the fly then quaffs the rest.
It's now the cheapskate's turn: He sticks his hand in the beer, grabs the fly, and shouts, "SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT!"
It's discovered that all three mugs each have one housefly in them. The American takes the fly out and drinks his beer. The Englishman explains the situation to the bartender and asks for a new beer. The Irishman picks the fly up by its wings and goes, "Spit it out, ya sonofabitch!"
... and each order a beer. As the beers are set down on the table three flies fly into the bar and land in the beer, one in each glass. The Englishman pushes his beer away and orders another. The Irishman blows the foam off the top of his beer along with the fly and drinks the beer. The Scotsman picks up the fly by the wings and says "Alrright ya wee bastarrd, spit it out."
An English guy, a Scottish Guy, and an Irish guy are in a bar. A fly comes over and lands in the English guy's beer, so he dumps it out. Another fly comes and lands in the Scottish guy's beer, so he takes it out and keeps drinking from it as if nothing happened. A third fly comes and lands in the Irish guy's beer. He takes the fly out, shakes it over his beer and yells "Spit it out, ya little blighter! Spit it out!"
You can explore fly in beer human reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean fly in beer joe dad jokes. There are also fly in beer puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
After dinner a wife comes into the kitchen and sees her husband sitting at the dinner table with a fly swatter and asks what he is doing.
Husband: I'm killing flies. I already got two male flies and three females.
Wife: How do you know whether they are male or female.
Husband: Well, I got two on my beer and three on my wallet.
...and each take a seat and order a beer. When the Englishman gets his beer, he sees a fly floating in it, and politely asks for a different brew. The Scotsman, intrigued by this, looks into his beer and also notices a fly in it. He shrugs and picks it out. When the Irishman's beer arrives, also containing one fly, he's had enough. He picks up the fly, holds it very close to his mouth, and says...
"Spit it out, lad, spit it all out!"
He walks into the kitchen and tells his wife that 3 of them were male and 2 of them were female. The wife is confused. "How do you know?", she asks him.
"Well, there were 3 on the beer bottle and 2 on the mirror", he replies
An Outback Vibrator
'Yeah, three males and two females.' Curious, I asked how he could tell the difference. He said: 'Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone.'
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
They each order one beer from the barkeep, and shortly after he returns with their beers, a fly lands in each of their beers. The Frenchman cries out in disgust and demands a new beer. The American picks the fly out of his drink and starts to sip at his beer. The Irishman picks the fly out and starts to shout Spit it out!!"
"Waddaya doin?" She asked.ย
"Huntin Flies" He responded.ย
"Oh. Kill any?" She asked.ย
"Yep, 3 blokes, 2 sheilas," he replied.ย
Intrigued, she asked. "How'd ya know that?"ย
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
The Englishman says: "How dreadful. Barkeep, take this pint back at once, I couldn't possibly touch it, it has a fly in it!"
The Scotsman says: "Ach, it's nae so bad!" and flicks the fly out with the back of his hand and chugs his beer.
The Irishman gingerly picks up the fly by the wing, gives the fly a little wiggle and says: "You spit that out! You spit that out!"
The Englishman pushes his drink away, disgusted. The Scotsman takes out the fly and drinks his beer. The Irishman picks up the fly and yells to it, "Alright, spit it out!"
The Brit sees a fly in his beer. He asks the bartender for a new beer, and drinks it.
The German sees a fly in his beer. He plucks it out, throws it on the ground, and drinks it.
The Irish man sees a fly in his beer, he plucks it out, holds it over the beer, stares at the fly and leans in, screaming: SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT!!
He sits at the bar and orders a drink. The bartender, noticing the mans very disturbed asked what's wrong.
The man replies my wife kicked me out, said she doesn't want to see me for a month.
The bartender starts consoling the man, telling him it'll be okay, the month will fly by. Anything to make the man feel a little better.
The man looks up from the beer, with sad red eyes. You don't understand, it's been a month
They order a pint of beer each. As they are served a fly lands in their glass.
The English man pushes the pitcher away in disgust.
The Scot removes the fly with a finger and drinks the beer.
The Welsh guy picks up the fly, holds it above the pitcher and shouts : spit it out.
I said, killing flies
she replies, killed any?
Yes , I said, 3 males & 2 females
Intrigued she asks, how do you know the sex?
Well, easy, 3 were on a beer can and 2 were on the phone
While there, he decided to take in the atmosphere of the Great British Pub, and got talking with one of the patrons.
So, where in Germany are you from? he asked, after a couple of beers.
Dresden, the German man replied.
Ah, Dresden! My father used to fly there three times a week.
On business?
No, in a Lancaster bomber.
When the bartender delivers the drinks, each one has a fly floating in it.
The American throws a fit, yelling, saying how he can't drink it, take it back immediately, etc.
The Brit removes the fly and politely enjoys his beer.
The Irishman is furious. STOP DRINKING MY BEER AND GET YOUR OWN!
Killing flies
Have you killed any?
Yes, four males and two females
How do you know they're female or male?
Four were on a beer can and two on the mirror.
A woman arrives in the kitchen and sees her husband with a fly swatter and says "What are you doing?"
He replies: "I'm chasing the flies..."
She asks "Did you kill them?"
He says "As a matter of fact, yes, 3 males and 2 females
Intrigued, she asks him: "How do you make the difference between females and males?"
He answers: "3 were on the beer can, 2 on the phone."
Dave was bragging to his boss one day, โYou know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.โ
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, โOK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?โ
โNo dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.โ So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruiseโs door, and Tom Cruise shouts,
โDave! Whatโs happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!โ
Although impressed, Daveโs boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruiseโs house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky.
โNo, no, just name anyone else,โ Dave says.
โPresident Obama,โ his boss quickly retorts.
โYup,โ Dave says, โOld buddies, letโs fly out to Washington,โ and off they go.
At the White House, Obama spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, โDave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and letโs have a beer first and catch up.โ
Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.
โPope Francis,โ his boss replies.
โSure!โ says Dave. โIโve known the Pope for years.โ So off they fly to Rome.
Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vaticanโs St. Peterโs Square when Dave says, โThis will never work. I canโt catch the Popeโs eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and Iโll come out on the balcony with the Pope.โ He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Making his way to his bossโ side, Dave asks him, โWhat happened?โ
His boss looks up and says, โIt was the final strawโฆ you and the Pope came out on to the balcony and the man next to me said, โWho the fuck is that on the balcony with Dave?โ
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the fly in beer day jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working fly in beer corporate piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.