Fly Fishing Jokes
44 fly fishing jokes and hilarious fly fishing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fly fishing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Fly Fishing Short Jokes
Short fly fishing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fly fishing humour may include short fishing jokes also.
- I was just struck in the head by a flying bottle of omega 3 pills! .... luckily, my wounds were only super fish oil.
- Force Awakens joke my 9yo made up What did Poe ask Finn when they went fishing?
"Do you know how to tie a fly tighter?" - I don't understand Fly fishing Why are you fishing for flies? What do you even bait them with? A starving Ethiopian?
- I really want to try fly fishing, but the equipments are just too expensive! The helicopter alone will cost thousands
- You know how they say - there's plenty fish in the sea? Took a subway to work today with my fly open, didn't catch a one.
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Fly Fishing One Liners
Which fly fishing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fly fishing? I can suggest the ones about ice fishing and fishing trip.
- What's a pelican's favorite sport? *fly* fishing!
- Why was the movie about fly fishing a box office flop? Bad casting.
- What's the best way to watch a Fly Fishing Tournament? Live Stream
- What kind of angling do stewardesses do? Fly fishing, you pun loving morons.
- What kind of whale flies?
Pilot whales. - Someone offered to take me fly fishing, but I turned them down. I like to keep it reel.
- Where does a fish end-up when it flies? A magic carp
- Why did the African man stop fly fishing? Because he must quito!
- What keeps fish from flying of Niagara Falls? They don't have a pilots license.
- Why did the fisherman keep taking off? Because he was fly fishing.
- Something is fishy do c**... think fish are flying?
Amusing & Witty Fly Fishing Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about fly fishing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean catching fish jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fly fishing pranks.
3 bad dad jokes
I use these back to back to back all the time.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
FSHHHHHHHH
10-inch BIC
Two guys are out fishing on a boat when one of them wants to have a smoke.
1: You got a lighter?
2: Yes. *pulls out a 10 inch long BIC lighter*
1: Woah, where'd you get that!?
2: I have a personal genie.
1: Cool! Can I make a wish?
2: Sure, just be very clear, he's a bit hard of hearing. *Summons genie*
1: I wish for a million bucks!
*The genie snaps his fingers and a million ducks fly overhead.*
1: Wow, your genie really s**... at hearing.
2: I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC?
Jesus, Moses and an Old Man go golfing
and they come up to the par 3. Moses steps up to take a swing and plop, right in the pond. So he steps up to the water, raises his hands and separates the water. He strolls up and chips it into the hole for a birdie. Jesus' turn and he plunks it in the drink, too. He walks on the water, takes a swing and chips it in for a birdie.
The old man steps up to the tee and takes a swing. And, you guessed it, he drops it into the water. Just then a fish swims up and gobbles the ball, a hawk comes flying in from the sky and swoops up the fish. Over the green, the bird lets go of the fish, who slams against the ground. letting the ball go... which rolls into the hole for a hole-in-one. Jesus turns to the old man and says, "Dad, quit showing off."
Moses, Jesus and an old man are playing golf together.
Moses swings and the ball rolls towards a river. The river splits and the ball goes through. Jesus shrugs, and hits the ball straight onto the river. It rolls straight over. The old man smiles and hits the ball into the river. A fish swallows the ball, an eagle swoops down, grabs the fish and flies off. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning strikes the eagle, it drops the fish, the ball falls into the hole. Moses turns to Jesus "I hate playing with your dad."
Moses, Jesus and an old man were playing golf.
Moses swings and the ball rolls towards a river. The river splits and the ball goes through. Hole in one.
Jesus shrugs, and hits the ball straight onto the river. It rolls straight over. Hole in one.
The old man smiles and hits the ball into the river. A fish swallows the ball, an eagle swoops down, grabs the fish and flies off. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning strikes the eagle, it drops the fish, the ball falls into the hole.
Moses turns to Jesus and says
"I hate playing with your dad."
Give a man a fish and he has food for a day. Teach a man to fish and...
...he has to buy bamboo rods, graphite reels, monofilament lines, neoprene waders, creels, tackleboxes, lures, flies, spinners, worm rigs, slip sinkers, offset hooks, gore-tex hats, 20 pocket vests, fish finders, depth sounders, radar, boats, trailers, global positioning systems, coolers, and six-packs.
Moses is out playing golf with two of his buddies in heaven.
He takes a few swings and gets par on the current hole. The next guy swings and gets a hole in one. Moses says to the guy "Hey, Jesus you're pretty good!" The third guy takes a swing and misses completely hitting a tree and bouncing into the pond. Then a fish jumps out of the water with the golf ball and the fish is snatched by an eagle. The eagle flies over and the fish drops the golf straight into the hole. Moses looks at Jesus and exclaims "This is why I never play with your dad. He always cheats."
Two men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke
Two men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke. He asks the other guy if he has a lighter and he replies "Yes I do!" and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter.
Surprised the guy asks "Where did you get this?"
The guy replies "Oh I have a personal genie."
The first man asks "Can I make a wish?"
Sure says the other man "Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing"
"Ok I will" says the other. As he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he wants.
The man says "I want a million bucks,"
The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million ducks fly over head
The guy says to the other "Your genie really s**... at hearing doesnt he?"
The other man replies "I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC"
Jesus, Moses and an old man are playing golf.
Moses steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Moses parts the water and chips onto the green.
Jesus steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the water trap but still lands in the water. Jesus just walks on the water and chips the ball onto the green.
The old man steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and heads for the water trap. But just before it lands in the water a fish jumps out of the water and catches the ball in his mouth, then an eagle swoops down and grabs the fish in its claws, then the eagle flies over the green and is hit by a sudden bolt lightning and the eagle drops the fish.
When the fish hits the ground, the ball pops out of his mouth and rolls in for a hole in one.
Jesus then turns to the old man and says, "Dad, if you don't stop fooling around we won't bring you next time!"
These 3 Newfies are out fishing in the Atlantic....
...singing *row row row your boat* when a flying saucer appears and the aliens decide to try an experiment. They fire a beam into the boat that instantly removes a quarter of the Newfie's brains. The Newfies continue fishing and singing *row row row your boat.*
The aliens decide to intensify the beam so it removes half of the Newfies' brains. They zap them with the beam and they continue fishing and singing *row row row your boat.*
The aliens are amazed that their test subjects are still fishing and singing with half their brains removed. They decide to turn it up a notch and remove the whole brains.
They fire the beam and the Newfies still continue to fish but now they start singing *frere jacques frere jacques.*
Jesus, Moses, and this guy are out golfing...
and the hole is a notorious Par 3 with a huge lake before the green. Moses takes a shot and hits it right into the lake. With his second shot he parts the lake, knocks it on the green, and right after he putts it in for par.
Jesus goes next and he too can't clear the water hazard and the ball just sticks on the surface without sinking. He walked right across the surface of the water where he chipped it in for a birdie.
The two looked back at the man awaiting his shot with smug faces. He hits the ball and like the others it falls right into the lake. Jesus and Moses snicker a little bit before a fish swims to the surface with the ball in it's mouth as an eagle swoops down from the clouds and grabs the fish. As it flies away the ball falls out of the fishes mouth landing on the green where a squirrel runs across and pushes it into the cup for a hole in one.
Moses throws down his club and looks and Jesus and says "Man I HATE playing golf with your Dad!"
Jesus and Moses and another guy go for a round of golf
So they all line up and Moses hits the ball first. It flies up and lands straight in the pond. Moses then walks to the pond and splits the water in half, chips his ball onto the green and pots it in for par.
Jesus then steps up, again hits it into the pond. He walks on the pond finds the ball chips it up onto the green for par.
This other guy looks at these two for a moment before stepping up to hit the ball. The ball flies up in the air before again landing in the pond. Amazingly a fish swallows the ball, just as it does this a big bird grabs it out of the pond, the fish drops the ball midair and it rolls into the hole for a hole in one!
Moses then turns to Jesus and goes "i hate playing with your dad"
Barack Obama was out jogging one day...
When he tripped, and fell over a bridge railing and landed in the river below. Before secret service could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted in return for saving his life. The first kid said, "I want to go to Disney world!" To which Obama replied, "not a problem, I'll even fly you there in Air Force one." The second kid then says, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's!" "You got it." Said Obama. "I'll even have Michael Jordan himself sign them." Then the third kid says, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in big screen tv and headset." Obama seemed a bit confused at this. "You don't look like yore handicapped." He said. To which the kid replied, "I will be after my dad finds out I saved you from drowning.
Play around
So corporate exec Joe is flying across the Pacific, when his plane crashes. Joe survives, but finds himself stranded on a desert island, with nothing to eat but coconuts, and whatever seafood he can catch. 10 years go by, with poor Joe having no human contact. One day, as Joe is fishing for his dinner, a beautiful blonde woman comes wading out of the surf, wearing a full body wet suit. She approaches Joe and introduces herself "Hi, I'm Julie", Joe is so excited, all he can say "I'm Joe, and I've been stranded here alone for 10 years". "Wow" reply's Julie "10 years stranded here, I bet you'd like a cigarette" . "Would I ever" says Joe, and with that the young lady unzips a pocket on her sleeve, pulls out a pack of Marlboro reds, lights 2 and passes one to Joe. "Wow 10 years alone on this island" Julie repeats, "I bet you'd like a beer". "Would I ever" replies Joe, and with that the lady unzips a pocket on her leg, pulls out 2 cold Budweiser's, opens them and hands one to Joe. The young lady starts to seductively unzip the front of her wet suit, and says "Wow 10 years alone on this island, I bet you'd like to play around wouldn't you". "Would I ever" says Joe excitedly, "You got golf clubs in there?"
Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke
He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies " Yes i do " and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter Surprised the guy asks "Where did you get this?" The guy replies " Oh I have a personal genie" The first man asks "Can i make a wish? " Sure says the other man "Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing" "Ok I will" says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he wants The man says " I want a Million Bucks " The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million ducks fly over head And the guy says to the other " Your genie realy s**... at hearing doesnt He?" The other man replies "I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC"
Helping The Doctor
A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work to go fishing, so he approached his assistant.
"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients".
"Yes, sir!" answers Murphy.
The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks: "So,Murphy, how was your day?"
Murphy told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one had a headache so I gave him Paracetamol."
"Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?" asks the doctor.
"The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon," says Murphy.
"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor.
"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman bursts in!
Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everything including her bra and her p**... and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen any man!'"
"Tunderin' lard Jesus Murphy, what did you do?" asks the doctor.
"I put drops in her eyes."
A plane is going down...
An airplane of holiday makers is flying over the pacific when the engine fails and takes a nosedive. Everyone dies except for 3: two guys and one girl. They wash up on a beach of a deserted island and set about building a fire, fishing, making a shelter etc. When the sun goes down and they are bored there is only one thing to do, so they do what comes naturally to them . . .
This set up continues untill the girl gets sick, soon after she dies. The two guys are alone. So at night they continue doing what comes naturally to each other . . .
But after a few weeks they feel really bad about doing it so they bury her. . .
