fluid Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious fluid puns

What does my asshole and my Toyota have in common?

They're both leaking tranny fluid.

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I *SWEAR* I'm not addicted to brake fluid...

I can stop whenever I want

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Did you know if you drink the fluid from a magic 8 ball you can see the future.

Trust me. My friend Keith did it once and he said he was going to die and then he did.

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My family insists i am addicted to drinking brake fluid.

But i can stop any time i want.

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What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

One US leader.

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I'm not addicted to drinking brake fluid....

I can stop any time I want.

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A recent study shows that 9 out of 10 people addicted to brake fluid...

...just can't stop.

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Did you know that drinking the fluid in a magic 8-ball will let you see the future?

I actually have a friend who tried it. He said "I'm going to die" and he was right.

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I know a guy addicted to brake fluid

He says he can stop at any time

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So I have this friend who's addicted to drinking brake fluid...

but he tells me not to worry, he can stop anytime he wants.

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My girflriend was telling me about this guy on Strange Addictions who drinks a gallon of brake fluid every day

I guess the good thing is at least he can stop whenever he wants

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I just drank another bottle of brake fluid.

My friends think I'm addicted, but I can stop when I want to.

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What is the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

1 US Leader.

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I bought a 5 gallon drum of correction fluid the other day.

Big mistake.

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I'm not sure what gender fluid is...

...but it sounds like it's tough to get out of upholstery.

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Did you know that if you drink the fluid in a Magic 8 Ball, you can see the future?

My friend Todd tried it. He said he was going to die, and then he did.

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I'm addicted to brake fluid

But it's not so bad, i can stop anytime!

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Why are the majority of firefighters men?

They've been training with fluid launching cannons since the day they were born.

I'll show myself out.

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Science Joke

A physicist, biologist and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.

The physicist saw the violent ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked out into the waves. He was pulled under and never returned.

The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked out to the ocean. He too, never returned.

The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote in his journal, "Physicist and Biologist both soluble."

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Brake fluid

I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.

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A physicist, a biologist, and a chemist go to the beach...

The physicist looks out over the ocean and says "I want to go into the water and study the fluid dynamics." The physicist then walks into the ocean and drowns. Then the biologist looks out over the ocean and says "I want to go into the water and study the local marine life." The biologist then walks into the ocean and drowns. Lastly, the chemist looks out over the ocean and says "I have come to a conclusion, physicists and biologists are soluble in water!"

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I think my friend is addicted to drinking brake fluid

He says he can stop anytime he wants

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The vagina is the greatest engine ever developed.

It accepts any size piston, it is self-lubricating, and it does it's own fluid change once a month. It's just a shame that the management system can be so temperamental.

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A penguin notices his car is leaking fluid...

so he takes it to the closest garage. Mechanic says he'll check it out, and to come back in a half hour. The penguin sees a Dairy Queen, strolls over, and buys himself a vanilla cone. Being a penguin, without hands, he makes quite a mess, getting ice cream all over himself. When he gets back to check on his car, the mechanic looks up, shakes his head, and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." The penguin replies, "Na, it's just ice cream."

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A physicist, biologist and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.

The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. Obviously he was drowned and never returned.

The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. He too, never returned.

The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote the observation, "The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water".

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"Jimmy, I think you have a brake fluid problem."

"No I don't! I can stop anytime I want!"

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Gatorades competition.

Upon the inception of Gatorade at the University of Florida, and the strides the teams were making on the field, Florida State University *also* tried to make their own energy drink for student athletes.

Unfortunately no one wanted to drink the "*Seminole Fluid*"...

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In the market for a new car...

Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.

Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'. It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it - let alone turn it on - even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.

Rumor has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month, and can be a real bitch to start in the morning! Some have reported that on cold winter mornings you can't get it to turn over.

New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of. Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically increases with age. Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases.

This model is not expected to reach collector status.

Most owners find it is best to lease one, and replace it each year.

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One day an auto mechanic was working under a car...

and some brake fluid accidentally dripped into his mouth.

"Wow," he thought to himself. "That stuff tastes good!"

The next day he told a friend about his amazing discovery.

"It's really good," he said. "I think I'll have a little more today."

His friend was concerned but didn't say anything. The next day the mechanic told his friend he'd drunk an entire cup full of the brake fluid.

"It's great stuff!"

A few days later he was up to a bottle a day. And now his friend was really worried.

"Don't you know brake fluid is toxic? It's very bad for you," said the friend. "You'd better stop drinking it."

"Hey, no problem," he said. "I can stop any time."

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Did you hear about the mechanic who was addicted to brake fluid?

He said he could stop at anytime.

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It's a good thing Gatorade was invented at the University of Florida and not Florida State University.

Because then it would be Seminole fluid.

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I have a friend who is addicted to drinking brake fluid....

He insists that he can stop at any time

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What does a 4 year old gender fluid child and a vegan cat have in common?

We both know who's making the decision...

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I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid.

He insists he can stop at anytime.

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3 engineers are arguing about what kind of engineer God is......

and the mechanical engineer says, "Just look at the muscular system, all the fluid dynamics and joints. God was clearly a mechanical engineer." To which the electrical engineer says. "No, no, no, just look at the nervous system! The way impulses are sent all over the body and how the brain stores information; God was clearly an electrical engineer." "I'm sorry guys, God was a civil engineer. " says the civil engineer. " No one else would run a waste disposal pipeline right through the entertainment district."

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What are the most funny Fluid jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Fluid? Well, here are the best Fluid dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Fluid pick up lines to share with friends.

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