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Flowers Jokes

177 flowers jokes and hilarious flowers puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about flowers that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for jokes about flowers that are sure to make you smile? This article highlights some of the best flowers jokes around, from fun puns about may flowers to hilarious observations about buying and planting flowers. Look through the flowers pictures and laugh as you imagine the vase full of floral chocolates.

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Popular Flowers Short Jokes

Short flowers jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The flowers humour may include short rose jokes also.

  1. Adam gave sally 3 flowers and 1 stuffed animal. Kristen gave Sally 5 flowers and 2 stuffed animals. What does Sally have? cancer.
  2. God initially planned to use wasps to pollinate flowers. But in the end, he went with plan Bee.
  3. Why do native Americans hate April? Because April showers bring May flowers and Mayflowers bring white people
  4. Angelina Jolie walks into a florists.'I'd like to buy some flowers', she says. 'Orchids?' says the florist. 'No, just flowers today'.
  5. Wife: Okay. Here's what's got to change. I'm sick of you saying I talk like a pirate and you never buy me flowers! Husband: I never knew you sold flowers!
  6. The Wife just rang to tell me "Three girls in the office have just received flowers from their Men, they're absolutely gorgeous" I said......... "Thats probably why they received flowers!"
  7. What mom loves... Son: Mom, why is my cousin's name rose?
    Mom: Well son, your aunt really loves flowers!
    Son: Mom, what do you love?
    Mom: Richard, stop asking so many questions!
  8. April showers bring may flowers What do may flowers bring? Pilgrims.
    What do Pilgrims bring?
    Smallpox
  9. My dad always told me to treat women like flowers. So I tore my girlfriend apart limb by limb to find out whether or not she loved me.
  10. Therapist: Your wife says you never buy her flowers, is that true? Husband: Well to be honest I never even knew that she sold flowers

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Flowers One Liners

Which flowers one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with flowers? I can suggest the ones about flower bed and flower garden.

  1. If April showers bring May flowers, then what do May Flowers bring? Genocide
  2. I accidentally sent my friend flowers over the internet Whoops, E-Daisies
  3. What do you call it when two flowers have a child? Plant parenthood.
  4. If April Showers bring May Flowers, then what do May Flowers bring? Smallpox.
  5. I accidentally sent my ex-girlfriend flowers over the internet. Whoops, e-daises.
  6. So, a florist gave me the wrong flowers. I think they're called oopsie daisies.
  7. What type of flower grows in the surface of the sun? An Ultra-Violet
  8. My wife complains I never buy her flowers I didn't even know she sold flowers.
  9. I accidentally planted the wrong flowers in my garden Oopsie daisies
  10. What's a spring flower's favorite type of music? Tulip-hip hop!
  11. This ones for the kids: What did the bee say to the flower? Hey bud!
  12. Why are spring flowers always so polite? They have good bloom-ers!
  13. What did one flower say to the other on the spring equinox? "I'm rooting for you!"
  14. How do flowers stay in shape for spring? They do petal-ups and tulip-overs!
  15. Never buy flowers from a monk... Remember, only you can prevent florist friars.

Buying Flowers Jokes

Here is a list of funny buying flowers jokes and even better buying flowers puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My wife complains that I don't buy her flowers.. To be completely honest I didn't know she sold flowers...
  • my wife complains that i don't buy her flowers to be honest, i didn't know she sold flowers
  • Never buy flowers from a monk Only YOU can prevent florist friars
  • Don't ever buy flowers from monks. Only you can prevent florist friars.
    (Sorry if repost.)
  • My wife says I never buy her flowers In my defence, I never knew she sold flowers
  • My wife's mad at me because I never buy her flowers. I never even knew she sold them.
  • My girlfriend is always complaining that I don't buy her flowers. In my defence I didn't even know she sold flowers.
  • Therapist: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true? Husband: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.
  • The wife complains I never buy her flowers. I never knew she sold them.
  • What do you buy an Archer that likes flowers? A rose

May Flowers Jokes

Here is a list of funny may flowers jokes and even better may flowers puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Q: April showers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring? A: Separatists and small pox.
  • April showers bring May flowers... ...but Mayflowers bring smallpox.
  • If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!
    Credit to my 5yo daughter who just told me that one. She can't read so I'm relatively sure she didn't find it here.
  • If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!
  • If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
    I'll be here all week folks, try the veal.
  • If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Hay fever
    Admit it, you thought I was gonna say pilgrims, didn't you?
  • If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims
  • I guess there wont be many flowers this May because of how few showers I took this April.
  • Why don't Native Americans do rain dances in April? Because April showers bring May flowers and May flowers bring white men.
  • Two particles are trapped in a field One particle says to the other "I got you some flowers, you may have them if you quantum"
Flowers joke, Two particles are trapped in a field

Planting Flowers Jokes

Here is a list of funny planting flowers jokes and even better planting flowers puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How do you call a flower on steroids? A power plant.
  • You can't plant flowers... ...if you haven't botany.
  • What do you call a flower that is also a spy? A plant
  • Pollen is what happens when flowers can't keep it in their plants.
  • Where did the promiscuous girl from belgium go to plant her flowers? ze Hoegaarden.
  • Where does the gardener go to get rid of her unwanted flowers? Plant Parenthood
  • I've never understood giving flowers to someone on Valentine's Day. "Here's a dying plant... because i love you?"
  • If dogs were plants, what would they be? Collie-flowers
    I'm gonna go shoot myself in the head now
  • What do you call a flower that changes it's gender? ...A trans-plant
  • Whenever my friend who does psychic shows for a living went to the toilet, I could always hear her giving a performance to her flowers, and she knew everything about them. Turns out they were plants.

Spring Flowers Jokes

Here is a list of funny spring flowers jokes and even better spring flowers puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did the big flower say to the little flower on the first day of spring? "You're growing so petal-fast!"
  • Why did the flower go to the party on the first day of spring? It wanted to blossom and have a bud-dy good time!
  • What did the flower say to the bee on the first day of spring? "Bee mine, pollen-tial partner!"
  • What did the sunshine say to the rain on the spring equinox? "Let's make flowers grow together!"
  • What did one flower say to the other on the spring equinox? I'm really excited to 'spring' into action!
  • If April showers bring May flowers, what does April snow bring? Incredulous Facebook posts about the arrival of spring.
  • A woman is like a delicate, Spring flower... ...I have really bad seasonal allergies, so I just tend to get my fix by looking at pictures of them online.
  • Why do flowers spring? Because they can't winter.
  • Currently the flower business is blooming.
Flowers joke

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about flowers can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of flowers puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Entertaining Flowers Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about flowers you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean floral jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make flowers prank.

It was at the end of the school year,

and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.
The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "
That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?"
"Oh, just a wild guess," she said.
The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter.
The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."
"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl.
"Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.
The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue.
"Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with some excitement.
The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue.
"Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with more excitement.
The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"
With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

A new survey shows that a fifth of British men have no idea how to turn on the washing machine.

I find chocolates or flowers usually do the trick.

Peeing in the Flowers...

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.
Noticing this, a policeman stopped her and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer."
"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"
"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a golf course. A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'Why not make the best of it?'"
So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes!'"
"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"
"Not everybody pays."

An order of monks are selling flowers...

...illegally on the lawn of the p**... Mansion, Hugh Hefner's property. Instead of calling the police, however, Hugh decides to spring into action and stop them himself. After an intense argument, the monks agree to leave peacefully. If it had been anybody else they would have gotten away with it; unfortunately for them, only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

I never remember silly things

A few old couples used to get together to talk about life and to have a good time.
One day one of the men, Harry, started talking about this fantastic restaurant he went to the other night with his wife.
Really? ,
one of the men said, what's it called? After thinking for a few seconds the Harry said, what are those good smelling flowers called again?
Do you mean a rose? the first man questioned.
Yes that's it, he exclaimed.
Looking over at his wife he said, Rose what's that restaurant we went to the other night?

Hugh Hefner

Today, famous p**... Hugh Hefner successfully managed to stop an order of monks from operating a business on his property. The police forced the friars to close down their stall, which was outside the p**... Mansion, where they had been selling flowers.
Said one friar, "Well if it was anyone else we could've gotten away with it, but unfortunately only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

The Argument

A woman has had a huge argument with her husband and is on the phone having a long chat with her friend when she sees her husband returning home with a huge bouquet of flowers.
"Oh no," says the woman. "My husband's home and he's brought a huge bunch of flowers for me."
Her friend is a little surprised. "But that's so sweet of him!"
"Ugh," says the woman. "It means I have to spend all night on my back with my legs in the air."
The friend pauses for a moment. "Don't you have a vase?"

Two girls walking down the street when...

one sees her husband coming out of a floral shop with a bouquet of flowers. She says "Oh shoot, he's buying me flowers. I'll have to lay on my back for two days with my feet in the air. Her friend says "Would'nt it be easier to just buy a vase?

A man comes home really really drunk....

...clenching a bouquet of flowers.
He goes to the bedroom, turns on the light and in a slurry voice he says:
"Here ya go honey, these are for you.."
To which his wife angrily replies; "Oh well that's great, I guess now you expect me to spread my legs?"
The man looks at the bouquet, then back at his wife and says:
"Why, you don't have a vase?"

So the church is losing money...

...and the friars decide that they need a new income source. To do this, they set up a flower stand, and do a pretty good business selling flowers in the small village. Unfortunately, there is another floral store that is losing business because of the friars. So, they go talk to the friars, telling them to stop selling flowers, because they are losing money. The friars say "no way man, free country, free enterprise."
The owners of the other floral shop decide to get real about these religious flower sellers, so they hire a hitman to go take them out. The hitman, named Hugh, shows up to the friars' store. Hugh, now, he's about 7'1', and 240 pounds of pure muscle. "Hey," he says, "you guys ought to stop sellin flowers." The petrified friars agree that maybe the floral business isn't such a good idea after all, and promptly shut it down.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

Cardiologist

A heart surgeon had died and at his funural the coffin was placed above a heart made of flowers. After everyone had said goodbye the coffin was lowered into the heart, during which someone began laughing really loud. 'What is wrong with you?' the person sitting next to the laughing man asked. 'I just thought of my own funural' he replied. 'What's so funny about that?' Still chuckling the man answered: 'Well, you see, I'm a gynaecologist'.

A man enters a flower shop...


and says..."I'd like some flowers please."
"Certainly, Sir. What did you have in mind?"
He shrugs, "Well I'm not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh..."
"Perhaps I could help. What exactly have you done?"

Yesterday at yoga

Yesterday at yoga, the instructor told us to make a flower shape by putting our hands together. She kept saying to take deep breaths and focus on our flowers. Towards the end of the exercise she told us to smell our flowers and just say out loud what our flowers smelt like. I don't think she appreciated it when I said Vaseline and shame.

Corniest joke I know.

Two friars decide to open up a business selling flowers in LA. They settup a booth right outside of Hugh Hefners p**... mansion. After about a week, their business wasnt going so well and it was also driving away people from the p**... mansion seeing two friars outside.
Eventually Hugh Hefner himself came out and put a stop to all of this.
The point of the story is: Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
Badum psh

Hot girl at prom

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

What's the best thing about being a necrophiliac?

You don't have to bring the flowers.

A man comes home to his wife with a big bunch of flowers...

"I suppose I'll have to keep my legs open for the next few days!" The wife says.
The husband replies, "Why? Don't you have any vases?"

A blond and a brunette are sitting on a porch...

The brunette looks out and sees her husband approaching with flowers. The brunette says: "Oh look, flowers, looks like I'll be having my legs spread open all weekend long..." The blonde replies: "Why? Don't you have a vase?"

My favorite joke from The Sopranos

A man comes home with a bouquet of flowers for his wife. "What? Do you expect me to spread my legs for you now?" says the wife. The husband replies, "honey, I love you, but i think a vase will work just fine."
Credit to Uncle Jun.

A guy is taking his girlfriend to the prom

He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but he eventually gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but he eventually gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to get some punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there's no punchline.

There were once some monks who decided to raise money by opening a flower shop

There was once an order of monks that needed to raise some money. They figured that the best way to do this was by opening a flower shop and selling flowers.
Now, these monks sold their flowers really cheap, and everyone liked the idea of buying flowers from men of God, so much so that all the other florists slowly lost all their business.
Realizing their predicament, the florists banded to figure out how to remove these monks. They finally settled on Big Hugh, the best kneecapper in town. Big Hugh went to the monks and made several casual comments about the flammability of their monastary. Cowed, the monks caved to his demands, thus proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Two Monks

Two Monks attempted to sell flowers outside the p**... mansion yesterday. Despite the best attempts of the mansions security, the monks could not be forced from the grounds. It wasn't until the owner of the mansion himself arrived, that the friars left. It just goes to show:
that only Hue can stop florist friars.

Why are some flowers g**... ?

Cause they carry pistils.

Fascinate

Teacher: Can anyone use the word "fascinate" in a sentence?
Billy: I was fascinated by the sunrise.
Teacher: Good, but "fascinated" is past tense. Can anyone else try?
Suzie: It was fascinating to see the flowers grow.
Teacher: Good, Suzie, but you added an "ing" at the end of the word and made it an adjective. I just want to hear the verb "fascinate".
Ernie: Yo mama got a blouse with 12 b**... on it...but she so fat, she can only fascinate!

What do you call a clown that gives you flowers?

A Romantic Jester!

Someone told me flowers had s**... organs...

....what a load of Poppycock!

From grandma: Why do women wear p**... with flowers on them?

In memory of all the faces that were buried there.

p**... rings his new girlfriend's door

p**... rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers.
She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in.
She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!'
'Don't be silly,' says p**..., 'You must have a vase somewhere!'

The good thing about necrophilia is you don't need to bring flowers.

Most of the time they're usually already there.
-Goerge Carlin

Flower Salesman Arrested

Local Chinese man Chen Yu stopped a Catholic monk from selling flowers tonight in Downton Dallas. The monk was detained for not having a vending license. The monk will be fined $300 and Yu has been awarded for his efforts. At the end of the day, only Yu can prevent Florist Friars.

It was my dad's f**... last week.

We all walk into the chapel and there's a huge floral arrangement on the coffin that says: 81.131.11.216
My mother hisses to me, What is *that*?
I shrugged. What you asked for: our IP in flowers.

A cardiologist died...

..and was given an elaborate f**.... A huge heart, covered in flowers, stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened and the casket rolled inside. The beautiful heart then closed, sealing the doctor inside, forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said: "I'm sorry. I was just thinking of my own f**.....I'm a gynecologist."
The proctologist fainted.

A guy walks into a flower shop

He buys beautiful, red flowers. As he's paying for them, the cashier winks at him and says "I hope these get you laid tonight".
The guy says "I hope not ... they're for my mom"

What I learned from small crosses placed along the roadside with flowers.

Christians are horrible drivers.

A guy asks a girl to prom...

A guy asks a girl out to prom and she says yes. Excited, the guy goes to dress shop to get a tuxedo but there is a very long line. After buying the suit he goes to buy flowers for his partner. So he gets in another very long line in the flower shop. Finally after hours of waiting he goes to prom. After dancing for a while his partner asks him to get punch for her. When he gets there, their is no punch line.

So, I brought my girlfriend some flowers today...

she looked at me, sighed and said, "I guess I'll have to spread my legs now."
so I asked her, "why, don't you have a vase?"
hahahahaha
just kidding...
I don't have a girlfriend

Most women would be happy to be woken up on their birthday with breakfast in bed, flowers and 20 minutes of great o**... s**...!

But Oh no! Not my sister!

A blonde and her friend were standing on the street talking..

The blonde's friend sees her boyfriend coming out of a flower shop with a big bunch of flowers and says, "Oh yeah, I suppose he expects me to spend the whole night on my back with my legs in the air now!"
The blonde says, "Why, do you not own a vase?"

A man brings home flowers to his wife

A man brings some flowers home to his wife. She's so surprised by his romantic gesture that she lays back on the dining table, throws her legs in the air and spreads them.
Her husband confused looks down and goes "What's that for?"
His wife replies "For the flowers of course"
He thinks for a moment and asks "Don't we have a vase?"

A boy asks a girl to the prom and she says yes.

He goes to organise a limo at the rental limo place and due to everyone else wanting a limo for the prom he has to wait in line for ages to get one.
He then goes to the flower store to buy her some flowers but again everyone is there buying flowers and he's stuck in line for seems like hours.
After flowers he goes to get his tuxedo at the store and the line is huge again with everyone else getting their tux's too.
He finally makes it to the prom with his date, they arrive and he asks if she wants to go onto the dance floor. She says "I'm a little thirsty, can I get some punch first?" He says "ok" and goes up to get some punch and there is no punchline.

Most women would love to wake up on their birthday to the smell of fresh coffee, a nice breakfast, flowers and o**...

But not my Sister.

Joey gives Mary 1 stuffed animal and 2 flowers.

Joey gives Mary 1 stuffed animal and 2 flowers. Emma gives Mary 3 flowers and 2 stuffed animals. Sam gives Mary 2 stuffed animals and 1 flower. What does Mary have?
Cancer. Mary has cancer.

What do you call a rapper that really likes flowers?

Day-Z

A guy brings his girlfriend a bouquet of flowers

"Well I guess I'll have to spread my legs now" she says.
Guy says "What for!? Don't you have a vase?"

A guy ring's his new girlfriend's doorbell

She sees him holding a beautiful bouquet of roses and drags him in.
She lies on the couch, pulls her skirt up, and rips her knickers off and says "This is for the flowers!"
"Don't be silly" says her boyfriend, "you must have a vase somewhere!"

A group of monks have an encounter with the almighty while tending their flower garden.

The experience so transforms them that they decide to form a new order, with a monastery, dedicated to growing flowers as a form of worship. Two years into the venture they realize that they are running out of funds and decide to begin selling some of their flowers as a way to raise funds to support their ministry and their way of life. Unfortunately a sheep from a nearby farm wandered into the monastery and quickly consumed all of their prize flowers.
It turns out only a ewe can prevent florist friars.

My dwarf girlfriend has been a bit down recently because people keep remarking on her size

... So to cheer her up when she gets home from work, I've got her flowers, chocolates, wine and I'm going to run her a nice hot sink.

A man wanted to prove to his wife that he loved her more than s**......

so he bought her a lovely bouquet of roses. Despite his good intentions the devoted husband received a suspicious look when he handed her the flowers. I suppose now you expect me to spend the weekend on my back with my legs spread , said the wife. Why? asked the husband, Don't we have a vase?

My wife just called me and said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day. They are absolutely gorgeous!"

I repied, "That's probably why they've received flowers then."

I bought my vegan girlfriend a bouquet of flowers.

She said 'aww thanks, i was starving'

A guy comes home with a bouquet flowers for his wife.

*"I guess I'll have to spread my legs now"*, she says.
*"Why?"* He asks, *"don't you have a vase?"*

One day I was playing...

I was about seven years old—and I saw the cellar door open just a crack. Now my folks had always warned me: Emo, whatever you do, don't go near the cellar door. But I had to see what was on the other side if it killed me, so I went to the cellar door, pushed it open and walked through, and I saw strange, wonderful things—things I had never seen before— like ... trees, grass, flowers, the sun—that was nice!

A woman wakes up in hospital after having a v**... tuck. There are three bunches of flowers beside her bed.

One from her surgeon saying "all went well".
The second from her husband saying " I love you, get well soon".
The third was from Tommy in the burns ward saying "Thanks for the new ears .

Two blondes are having a coffee at the local cafe.

They see a flower delivery truck pull up in front of the apartment building across the street and the delivery guy goes inside. The first blonde remarks "You know, whenever my boyfriend gets me flowers, he expects me to keep my legs spread for a week."
The second blonde replies "Don't you have a vase?"

I bought a girl flowers and she thought I expected something in return...

She said "oh, so you just expect me to go in the bedroom and lie on the bed with me legs up?"
I said " you don't have a vase?"
-Tahir Bilgic

I saw a guy at the flower store. He was trying to pick the perfect bouquet for his wife. He said It's crazy how much money you gotta spend on something that's just going to die.

I said I know... And you gotta buy them flowers...

A brunette gets a bouquet of flowers for valentines day.

The other office women are admiring the flowers as they are delivered to her.
She then smirks and says to the crowd of women gathered around "I guess this means I will be spending the night with my legs in the air."
The blonde then says "Don't you have a vase?"

I received a bunch of flowers for valentines day, with the heads cut off

I think I was being stalked

I told my friend that a girl keeps on sending me flowers with the heads cut off...

He told me I was being stalked.

What do you call a flower that loves little flowers

A Petalfile

The four seasons were arguing about which of them was the best…

Winter boasts, "Well, you can build snowmen and the snow is so beautiful!"
Spring laughs, "Well sure, but come springtime, everything is so fresh and new! All the new flowers, it can't get much better than that!"
Summer rays, "Yes, but I am undoubtably the overall best season! Girls in bikinis, ice cream, nice weather. You can't top that!"
Autumn ~ *-leaves-*

p**... rings his new girlfriend's door bell

p**... rings his new girlfriend's door bell, holding a
big bunch of flowers.
She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in.
She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips
her knickers off and says
'This is for the flowers!'
'Don't be silly,' says p**...,
'You must have a vase somewhere!'

I took some flowers home for my wife

When I gave them to her she said: "Do you expect me to now open my legs?"
I said: "Why? Do we not have a vase?"

A guy asks a girl to go to a dance.

She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.
He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.
He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.
Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.

A guy comes home with flowers for his wife. She says I guess I'll have to spread my legs now huh? He says ....

Why?!? Don't you have a vase?

Flowers joke, A guy comes home with flowers for his wife. She says  I guess I'll have to spread my legs now huh?

jokes about flowers

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these flowers jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.