Flower Girl Jokes

It was the kindergarten teachers birthday and the students decided that they would each buy their teacher a gift.
The first student, whose parents own a florist shop, gave her a present.
She held it and said "I guess that it is flowers".
"How did you guess?" asked the little boy.
She laughed and thanked him.
The second student, whose parents own a candy store, gave her a present.
She held it and said, "I guess that is some candy."
"How did you guess?" asked the little boy.
She again laughed and thanked him also.
The third student, whose parents own a bottle shop, gave her a box which was leaking.
The teacher touched the liquid with her finger and tasted it.
"Mmmmm is it wine?" she asked.
"No," said the little girl.
So she tasted it again.
"Is it champagne?" she asked.
"Noooo," replied the little girl, "It's a puppy."

It was at the end of the school year,

and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.
The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "
That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?"
"Oh, just a wild guess," she said.
The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter.
The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."
"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl.
"Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.
The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue.
"Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with some excitement.
The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue.
"Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied, with more excitement.
The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"
With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

Prom

Prom was approaching at Central High School, and Doug needed a date. He got the nerve up to ask a popular and pretty girl, Susan, to prom. To his surprise, she said "yes." He was so excited, he went to a tuxedo shop that day to secure his rental. There was a very long line, as many other boys were renting tuxedos as well, but he waited patiently because he was so thrilled, and orders his tuxedo. A week passes. Doug realizes he wants to rent a limo for the big night to impress Susan, so he goes to a car rental shop. There's an even longer line and over a hundred people are waiting, but he's so excited that he waits and waits and finally secures his limo reservation. The big day approaches, and Doug can't contain his excitement. He goes to the flower shop to buy a corsage and a boutineer. Every guy in town is already waiting in line, but he patiently goes to the back and waits his turn. Hours pass, and he finally purchases his items. Flower in hand, he goes and picks Susan up for prom. The night is well, and Doug and Susan are having a blast. They're dancing and laughing and having a generally good time, and soon Susan leans in close to Doug and whispers that she'd like a glass of punch. So Doug, bent on getting her a drink, looks over to the drink tables and sees that there's no punch line.

Asked for advice about dating, a father tells his son, "Son, the object of dating is to score...

"And to do that," he continues, "you have to give the girl something nice. So when you pick up your date later, make sure you have some flowers or
chocolates to give her. Girls go crazy over that stuff. The more you give, the more you get!"
So, taking his father's advice, the son showed up for his first date with flowers AND chocolates. She was so flattered and pleased that she rewarded him with a long, passionate kiss. She pressed her chest against him, rubbed her fingers through his hair -- it was the best kiss he could imagine.
Right after the kiss, he turned and bolted away.
"Oh! I'm sorry!" the girl called after him. "I didn't mean to scare you away!"
"You didn't!" he replied. "I'm going out to buy you some jewelry!"

A woman pregnant with triplets catches three stray bullets from a drive-by shooting.

In the emergency room, a doctor tells her she and her unborn children will be fine but they could not remove the bullets. He informs her all is well and the children, two girls and a boy, will pee the bullets out in around 16 years.
So around the 16th year, the mother is in the kitchen making her morning coffee when one her daughters runs in, frantic and concerned.
"Mom! Mom! I was peeing and a bullet came out!"
Her mother tells her there's nothing to worry about and tells her the story.
Then around noon, the mother is in the garden watering some flowers when the other daughter comes outside and says
"Mom! Mom! I was peeing and a bullet came out!" The mother explains everything and goes back to watering.
That night the mother was laying in bed reading when her son burst into her room.
"Mom! Mom! I was-"
"Let me guess, you were peeing and a bullet came out?"
"No, no!" says the son, "I was jacking off and I shot the dog!"

Hot girl at prom

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

A boy is taking a girl to the prom...

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers.
Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done.
Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time.
When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

It's the day of a highschooler's first prom....

and he's excited to take his sweetheart to the dance.
He goes to the flower shop to get flowers. He expects there to be a lot of people buying flowers, but there's no flower line.
Next he goes to a store that has tuxedos. He expects there to be other kids shopping for tuxes, but there's no tux line at that store.
Finally, with everything ready, he picks up his girl and goes to the prom. This time it's definitely busy. They dance and dance, then his girlfriend says she's thirsty. His feet are sore, so he doesn't really want to stand waiting for drinks, but he makes his way through the crowd anyway, gets to the punch table and it turns out there's no punch line!

A boy asks the love of his life to the prom.

A boy asked the girl he is in love with to prom. There was a long line of boys waiting to ask her. When he got to the front asked she said yes. After she said yes he went to the florist to pick up a corsage for her. He arrived to find a huge line. He waited in the line to get her flowers. Next after he had flowers the dedicated young lad went to rent a Limo. The line was long as the limos he was looking for. Finally the day of prom of arrives and the boy and his date get to the venue. The line to get out the door is extremely long and they have to wait a long time to get in. When they finally get into the dance they dance they go and have a grand time. After a couple minutes the boys date asks him to get some punch. He agrees. He goes to the table and there is no punchline.

So a guy and a girl go to a party...

One day a guy asks a girl to come to a party with him. The girl accepts and and so he decides that he should get her some flowers as a gift. So he goes to the shop but there is a huge line to get the flowers so he waits and after about half an hour he finally manages to buy the flowers and get home.
When they get to the venue the girl asks the guy to go wait in line for them because it was cold and the line was long. So he does and after waiting a long time they get in.
Once they are in the girl asks the guy to get them something to eat. So he goes to get them something to eat and sure enough again there is a massively long line. After a while he gets to the front to get the girl some food and goes back to where they were sitting.
They chat for few minutes and then she asks him to go get her some punch. But thankfully there was no punch line.
(I can't remember where I saw this joke, it was a while ago, but I thought I'd share it. :)

A Boy Asked His Crush Out To Prom...

A boy asked his crush to prom. His crush agreed, so the boy went to get a suit. There was a long line at the register, but the boy got the suit.
Then he went for a bouquet of flowers, there was another long line at the store, but he purchased the flowers.
Finally, he had to buy tickets, there was yet another long line for the tickets but he waited, and eventually got what he needed.
The boy and his girlfriend were at prom dancing. After the music stopped, the girl asked for a glass of punch. The boy went to get drinks and there was no punchline.

A boy asks a girl to the prom and she says yes.

He goes to organise a limo at the rental limo place and due to everyone else wanting a limo for the prom he has to wait in line for ages to get one.
He then goes to the flower store to buy her some flowers but again everyone is there buying flowers and he's stuck in line for seems like hours.
After flowers he goes to get his tuxedo at the store and the line is huge again with everyone else getting their tux's too.
He finally makes it to the prom with his date, they arrive and he asks if she wants to go onto the dance floor. She says "I'm a little thirsty, can I get some punch first?" He says "ok" and goes up to get some punch and there is no punchline.

A boy asks a girl to prom.

She says yes. He's happy and immediately goes to the tux store. There's a huge line, so he waits in the tux line for a while and gets a tux. After that, he goes to get a corsage, but there's a line. He waits in the flower line for almost an hour, but eventually he gets a rose for the girl, and he's happy. He goes to rent a limo, stands in the limo line for a while, and eventually gets one, picks up the girl, and takes her to prom. They're having fun, dancing, and eventually she says she's thirsty. He says he'll go get punch. He walks over to the punch, gets two cups. There is no punch line.