Flow Jokes
102 flow jokes and hilarious flow puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about flow that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article contains funny jokes about the various uses of the term "flow," including lateral flow, cash flow, short flow, aunt flow, flow cytometry, and even glands. Written by an experienced jokester and rapper, this article will have you laughing out loud at some of its comedic puns and word play.
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Funniest Flow Short Jokes
Short flow jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The flow humour may include short flux jokes also.
- Why is the French military always shocked when they lose a battle? Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance*
- Today I found out that you can hear the blood flowing through your veins. You just have to listen varicosely.
- The bartender says "we don't serve particles that disrupt time flow!" A tachyon particle walks into a bar.......
- Did you hear about the female rapper who only battled when she was on her menstrual cycle? They said she had a mean flow!
- Her body tensed and quivered as she felt wave after wave flow through it. I probably should have told her about the new electric fence.
- Girlfriends parents weren't home, hormones were flowing, I stopped at a gas station to grab a box of rubbers. Cashier - Do you need a bag with that? Me - No man! She's beautiful!
- Sometimes when I take my money out at a bank, I walk outside and throw it in the river I like watching my cash flow.
- Have you guys heard about the female rapper who performs on her menstrual cycle? They say she has a mean flow
- My girlfriend and I went to the Renaissance fair and saw a minstrel get cut in the arm He's gonna be okay though, my girlfriend had just the thing to stop the flow of minstrel blood
- Pearl Jam just came out with a product that regulates women's periods They're calling it Even Flow
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Flow One Liners
Which flow one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with flow? I can suggest the ones about fluid and stream.
- In which state does the Mississippi river flow? Liquid.
- What flows through Ukraine and doesn't care about your feelings? Crimea River
- She thinks I’m a fascist?! I don’t control the railways or the flow of commerce!
- Which prophet said "Let my molecules flow?" Osmoses
- How do woman keep track of their mentraul cycles? Flow charts.
- what do you call a constant stream of snake people? lamia flow.
- I can't believe there's a band named after diode flow... One Direction
- Active volcanoes would make good rappers... because they got mad flow.
- What did the fish say when the river stopped flowing Gosh dam it
- What do you call electricity still flowing today? Current.
- How does a quadriplegic swimmer handle peer pressure? He just goes with the flow.
- Anyone who claims rivers flow south to north... Is in de-Nile
- I wrote a book about diarrhea. I'm told it flows really well.
- Why did Eddie Vedder take the fiber supplements? He needed to have an Even Flow.
- What do you call a river that's an actor? Russell Flow
Blood Flow Jokes
Here is a list of funny blood flow jokes and even better blood flow puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I tried to tell my wife about the water flowing on Mars, but she was too angry to listen. I guess there was blood flowing on Venus.
- Why do Asians get nosebleeds when turned on? Because their small members cannot accumulate all the blood flow.
- I felt really bored today So I went to a blood drive. That really got my blood flowing.
- "Drat!", he exclaimed, as the blood flow from his wrist slowed to a trickle foiling his attempt at s**..., "I have cut myself in vein!"
Share Hilarious Flow Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about flow you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean velocity jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make flow pranks.
Can you write a whole paragraph without the letter A?
I wouldn't recommend it.
Honestly, your sentences willl just sound wrong.
Everyone will notice you're doing something
different. Your writing won't flow smoothly. You'll
use weird words.
It's not worth the effort involved in spending
time online looking up tons of synonyms which
don't feel right, just to produce weird, stilted
prose.
You'd be better off giving up, to be honest.
p**... in New York
p**... was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop at a busy intersection. The cop stopped the flow of all traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.' When everyone had safely crossed the street, he would allow traffic to resume.
The officer had done this several times, and p**... still stood on the sidewalk.
After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the tenth time, p**... went over to him and said, 'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across ?'
Flowers.
A blonde and a brunette are having a conversation at work one day, when a delivery of flowers are dropped off for the brunette.
The brunette sees the flowers and appears unhappy.
"What's wrong?," asks the blonde, "I wish my husband cared enough to send me flowers for no reason!"
The brunette explains, "It means I have to go home and lay on the bed with my legs in the air for him tonight.
The blonde, surprised, asks "Why? Don't you have a vase?"
The flower shop
A man walks into a florist.
'I'd like to buy some flowers for my wife'
'Certainly sir.., and what is it your after?
s**...'
What flower loves to be in the sun?
The lawyer called his client overseas...
..."Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep and I can't reach any other relatives. Shall we order burial or cremation?"
Back came the reply, "Take no chances - order both."
Famous physicist Dirac is talking about his favorite elementary particles...
Dirac says he is "very fond of electrons, they exist in all the atoms in our bodies, explain chemical reactions and the periodic table, and their flow in electrical circuits enables much of modern technology and beautiful lighting at night. Positrons however, well that's another matter altogether."
Why did the flower with no smell confuse people?
Because it didn't make any scents!!
.
.
.
.
Get it..scents sounds like sense...sort of..so it's funny because the.. okay I'm sorry I'll just see myself out.
NAME THAT FLOWER
Q: What is the name of the flower you find between your nose and your chin?
A: Tulips.
Why are some flowers g**... ?
Cause they carry pistils.
Why do flowers and beer get along so well?
They're buds
NASA recently confirmed what I've always suspected
...even Mars has more flow than Kanye West.
Iggy Azalea must have an infinitely high viscosity
because she got no flow.
Flower Salesman Arrested
Local Chinese man Chen Yu stopped a Catholic monk from selling flowers tonight in Downton Dallas. The monk was detained for not having a vending license. The monk will be fined $300 and Yu has been awarded for his efforts. At the end of the day, only Yu can prevent Florist Friars.
Why do flower beds have mulch?
So you can't see their underplants.
A cop pulls a car over for speeding...
A cop pulls a car over for speeding.
The guy tries to defend himself by saying, "I was just going with the flow of traffic."
The cop replies, "Ever go fishing?"
"Yeah."
"Ever catch ALL the fish?"
What did the Flower say to the Bees?
"You know you want it, Honey"
Flowers on a Tombstone
The other day I went to the cemetery. I brought flowers to leave at my father's tombstone. He died a bunch of years back, and I could barely remember which plot was his. I even went to place the flowers down at one tombstone before realizing it belonged to someone else. That could've been a grave mistake.
An old man is fishing in a lake next to a country road
Suddenly, he sees a f**... procession driving slowly down the road.
So he stands next to the road, puts his cigarette away, takes off his hat and waits flow the procession to pass.
2 hours later, the f**... director comes up to the man , this time by himself.
"That was very respectful, what you did. I want to thank you for your manners."
"Well," says the man, "it's the least I can do for my wife."
How does a flower get pollinated?
Beez Nuts!
Why are A's like flowers?
Because B's go after them!
I was working on a new r**... joke, but i couldn't get the punchline to flow right.
It just came off sounding too forced.
Flowers
A man walks in to the house with a dozen roses, walks up to his wife and hands them to her. The wife says "Oh, now I guess you expect me to lay on my back with my legs spread." The husband replies, " What, you don't have a vase?"
What did liquid nitrogen said to a conductor?
Good Good
eject those magentic fields boy...
let the electrons flow through you
Which flower is the pinkest?
Two lips
A flower shop burst into flame...
It was a florist fire.
What do flowers do for foreplay?
Floral s**....
What's the best flower to buy a gay cat?
A dandelion!
I went to a flower shop on my way to the hospice and asked for a dozen roses...
"I'm sorry sir, " said the florist, "I only have some with a couple of days life left in them. "
"No problem, " I replied, "that's more than enough. "
When I was learning to drive, my parents told me I should never be on a highway where the flow of traffic was going more that 80mph.
Then I moved to Florida.
Have you ever heard of the female rapper who would only rap while she was on her menstrual cycle?
... they say she had a mean flow.
What is the flower that is located between your nose and chin?
Two Lips
What's a flower plus a t-Rex?
A squished flower!
(An original from my 5 year old)
Why couldn't the flower ride its bike?
its petals broke.
What did the flower lady say after being robbed?
I have been deflowered.
Did you hear about the rapper who only performs during her menstrual cycle?
I heard she has a mean flow
Hands sticky and tingling he kept on. Still s**... and l**... he tilted his head back as he had it t**... into his mouth letting the sticky juices flow down his t**....
Grape was his favourite flavour and this was his favourite popsicle.
How Do Flowers Kiss?
with tulips.
On a faraway island lived a solitary genius
On a tribal island, far far away from here, lived a man called Cong Clu. Mr. Clu was a physicist, and had lately taken a liking to particle physics.
His research, however, was disturbed quite a lot, by the strong magnetic flow from the ferrous rocks, that the island was made up of, and in the end he had to give up..
It simply proved too hard to draw Cong Clu's Ions from the experiments.
LPT: If you are sick of hearing duplicate tracks on Spotify's stand-up comedy playlists,
Just delete all of the Amy Schumer material, and it should flow a lot smoother.
What's a flowers favorite way to do it?
Bud s**....
Which word describes someone that refuses to believe that rivers can flow from south to north?
de-Nile
You don't see as many flower shops around these days.
I wonder if climate change is the cause of all this deflorestation?
A father and son are walking across a small stream
The boy slips falls. His body gets wedged between two boulders, effectively blocking the flow of water. Father says "Dam son" before quickly helping helping him to his feet and they continue on their way.
You're like a flower.
You'll be dead in my living room in two weeks, but you're staying for three.
The contrary Mother-in-law
A neighbor came running to Nasserddin Hodja's house with the news that the Hodja's mother-in-law had been washing her laundry in the river when she fell into the water and drowned. "And we cannot find her body," he continued. "We searched everywhere downstream for her, but all to no avail."
"You should have searched upstream," replied the Hodja. "My mother-in-law is so contrary that she would never go with the flow."
Amusingly, the flow of e**... in the sewer system is well-regulated.
And thanks to modern architectural decor, it's all in all a pretty solid waste system.
I took some flowers home for my wife
When I gave them to her she said: "Do you expect me to now open my legs?"
I said: "Why? Do we not have a vase?"
How do flowers have s**...?
Florally
How does a flower kill another flower?
With a pistil.
What did the flower say when asked why he was having trouble tying his shoes?
Sometimes I forget me nots.
What does the flower say when it wants you to leave it alone?
Begonia!
Flowers
On Valentine's Day I came home with a dozen roses for my wife. She looked at me and said so I guess you want me to spread my legs now?
I said, well, I kinda thought we'd put them in a vase.
The Presidential Election will never bring a satisfactory conclusion, there's no flow it's just one candidate that changes the subject constantly,while the other can't perform for too long
we truly have Electile Dysfunction
I know a joke about nitric oxide
Every time I tell it though my skin turns red and I sometimes see spots.
See, because nitric oxide is a vasodilator that increases blood flow and lowers blood pressure? Yeah I know, it's way too complicated for a joke, that's why most people just say NO
How do flowers whistle?
With their tulips.
If I were a flower, I'd be a dandelion
Because I was created for you to blow me
Why was the flower so dangerous?
It had a concealed pistil.
How do flowers whistle?
Through their tulips.
If you like flowers but don't like gardening
Run over a kid outside your driveway
-Jimmy Carr
How do flowers ride a bike?
With its pedals
What's better than flowers on your piano?
Tulips on your o**....
What did a volcano say after eating Taco Bell?
"I think I had a pyroclastic flow in my pants..."
