floppy Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious floppy puns

Floppy disks are like Jesus

They died to become the icon of saving

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Difference between computers and woman

Unlike computers a woman will reject a 3 1/2 inch floppy.

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Jesus and floppy discs are very similar

They both died to become the image of saving

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A horse walks into a bar...

The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse screams, "I will end you!" And bites the bartender in the throat. A priest, a nun, and a rabbi who were just approaching the entrance quietly turn and walk away as the horse shakes the bartender vigorously back and forth screaming, "why the floppy head?! Why the floppy head?!"

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whats the difference between a woman and a computer?

a woman wont accept a 3 1/2 inch floppy.

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Is your ass a computer?

Because I want to back it up to a 3 inch floppy.

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What do floppy disks and Jesus have in common?

They both had to die to become the icon of saving.

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Why was the middle aged computer sad?

He had a floppy disc.

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Floppy disks are like Jesus

They died to become a symbol of saving

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Hey girl, are you a computer?

Because you turn my floppy disk into a hard drive.

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I like my women like my computers

At least old enough to handle my 3 1/2-inch floppy.

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impress your children by showing them a floppy disk and telling them it's a 3D model of a save icon.

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I showed my 12 year old son an old floppy disk..

He said "Wow.. Cool! You 3D printed the save icon!"

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3rd Rose

A sexually active middle aged woman informed her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because, over the years they had become loose and floppy.

Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept secret and of course the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anesthesia,she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.

Outraged, she immediately called in the surgeon.

"I thought I specifically asked you not to tell anyone about my operation"!

The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him. "I felt so sad for you, because you went through this all by yourself."

"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and understood perfectly, as she had the same procedure done some time ago."

"And what about the third rose?" she asked.

"That's from a man in the burn unit - he wanted to thank you for his new ears."

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What do you call a floppy snake?

Reptile dysfunction.

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What's the difference between a woman and a computer?

The woman won't take a 2.5 inch floppy.

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I'm not happy I can't tell this joke anymore... What's the difference between a woman and a computer?

A woman can't take a three and a half inch floppy.

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The dildo delivery truck

A mother is driving her car down the road with her young son in the back in his carseat.

A truck in front of her hits a big bump and out of the back flies an enormous thick floppy purple dildo that smacks into her windshield and flies off to the side.

"JESUS CHRIST" she yells and swerves.

From the backseat she hears "Mommy, what was that?"

She regains her composure and says "Son, that was just a fly, nothing more than that."

"Oh," says the son.

"Well that fly sure had a huge fucking cock."

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Red Neck Computer Dictionary

* LOG ON: Makin' a woodstove hot.
* LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood.
* MONITOR: Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.
* DOWNLOAD: Gittin' the farwood off the truck.
* MEGA HERTZ: When you're not keerfull gittin' the farwood.
* FLOPPY DISC: Whutcha git from trying to tote too much farwood.
* RAM: That thar thing whut splits the farwood.
* HARD DRIVE: Gittin' home in the winter time.
* WINDOWS: Whut to shut when it's cold outside.
* SCREEN: Whut to shut when it's black fly season.
* BYTE: Whut them dang flys do.
* CHIP: Munchies fer the TV.
* MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag.
* MODEM: Whutcha do to the hay fields.

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Why are computers better than girlfriends?

They're the only ones that can accept a 3 inch floppy.

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Whats the difference between a woman and a floppy drive?

A Floppy Drive can only take 3.5" Inches.

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What's the difference between a woman and a computer from the 90's?

The computer will take a 3 1/2 floppy

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What do you call a hard drive after sex?

A floppy disc

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Costume Party


A couple was going to a costume party. The husband was unsure of what costume to wear. His wife was telling him to hurry or they would be late for the party. She was walking down the stairs from the bedroom, completely naked except on her feet were a big old floppy pair of boots.

"Where is your costume?" the husband asked.

"This is it," replied his wife.

"What the heck kind of costume is that?" asked the husband.

"Why, I am going as Puss and Boots," explains the wife. "Now hurry and get your costume on."

The husband went upstairs and was back in about two minutes. He also was completely naked except he had a rose vase slid over his penis.

"What the heck kind of costume is that?" asked the wife.

"I am a fire alarm," he replied.

"A fire alarm?" she repeated laughing.

"Yes," he replied. "In case of fire break the glass, pull twice and I come."

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What's the difference between a woman and a computer?

A computer doesn't complain when you push a 3 1/2" floppy into it.

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How did Micro-soft get it's name?

Because Bill Gates has a 3.5 inch floppy

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If a sperm has 37.5 MB of DNA info and one ejaculation equals 15,875 GB of data, then why aren't we using sperm based hard drives?

Because once the data is released the hard drives revert to floppy dicks.

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I like computers more than i like women.

I don't have to buy dinner for a computer to get it to accept my three and a half inch floppy.

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What happens when you turn on a computer?

You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk

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What's the difference between a old computer and a old prostitute?

A old prostitute won't accept a three and a half inch floppy.

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How are women and a modern computer similar?

Neither can do anything with a three and a half inch floppy.

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How are women and computers the same?

Neither take your 3.5 inch floppy anymore.. unless you pay extra.

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What do Jesus and the 3.5" floppy share in common?

They both died to become the icon of saving.

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Why was the old computer sad?

Because it had a floppy disk

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whats the difference between a woman and a computer ?

A woman has no use for a 3 1/2" inch floppy.

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What are the most funny Floppy jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Floppy? Well, here are the best Floppy dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Floppy pick up lines to share with friends.

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