Flock Jokes
104 flock jokes and hilarious flock puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about flock that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Need a laugh? Look no further than these hilarious flock jokes! Get ready to chuckle at tongue-in-cheek humor involving farmers, flock of sheep, a seagulls swarms, and even a few sheepdogs! Whether you're in the mood for a quick giggle or a long laugh, our collection of flock jokes is sure to provide plenty of entertainment.
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Funniest Flock Short Jokes
Short flock jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The flock humour may include short swarm jokes also.
- Why were people flocking to the gender neutral mine? Because there's gold in them/their hills
- "Look! A flock of cows!" "Look! A flock of cows!"
"Herd."
"What was that?"
"Herd of cows..."
"Well of course I've heard of cows."
There's a whole flock of them right over there!" - I released a flock of birds at my friend's wedding, just like they asked, but now they aren't speaking to me. How was i supposed to know ostriches weren't an acceptable choice?
- I was viciously attacked by a flock of sheep… But there was nothing I could do to stop the bleating.
- How is a flock of geese like an airplane full of encyclopedias? They're flying in-formation.
- Driving down a country road I pointed to a flock of cows... Son: Herd of cows, dad.
Me: Well of course I've heard of cows, there's a whole flock of them over there! - What does a sheepdog say when he sees something shady going down? "Let's get the flock out of here"
- What did the goose say to his wife and kids when he spotted a hunter? Let's get the flock out of here!
- Did you know about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and herd? What about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw?
- When ostriches are in a group it's called a flock. But if they go at it alone they are ostracized.
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Flock One Liners
Which flock one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with flock? I can suggest the ones about flee and flick.
- Why do you never see a flock of seagulls in the middle east? Because Iran's so far away
- What do you call a flock of sheep tumbling down a hill? A lambslide
- Why did the flock of geese cross the road? Because they were afraid to fly United.
- I was suddenly surrounded by a flock of sheep! It was... a lambush!!!
- Why doesn't A Flock Of Seagulls perform in the Middle East? Because Iran so far away.
- I was attacked by a flock of sheep earlier... Fortunately, I was only grazed.
- Confucius say to quiet the herd One must shut the flock up
- What do you do when you see a Flock of Seagulls? You run. You run so far away.
- Where did the flock of seagulls go for vacation? Iran, so far away.
- I saw a flock of seagulls today And I ran
- A flock of seagulls approach you. What do you do? You run. You run so far away.
- Why did a flock of seagulls never tour in iran? Cause, Iran's so far away!
- Why couldn't the flock of seagulls get to the Middle East? Because Iran so far away
- I saw a flock of raven flying in the sky the other day It was an act of unkindness
- What's Gandalf's favorite band? A Flock of Smeagols
Flock Of Sheep Jokes
Here is a list of funny flock of sheep jokes and even better flock of sheep puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A mathematician is asked to build a fence around a flock of sheep using the least amount of materials possible. So he builds a fence around himself and then defines himself as outside.
- So I saw a German Shepard crapping on my lawn this morning.... I told him to gather his sheep and get the flock off my property.
- What is it called when a flock of sheep abandon their leader? Muttony
- What do you get if you cross a motorway with a flock of sheep? A flock of dead sheep
- As the shepherd said to his sheep Let's get the flock out of here
- What did Jesus say to the flock of sheep? I herd that.
- Little known fact: most shepards have NO idea how many sheep are in their flock.... Every time they try to count them.....
- Make like a sheep and get the flock out of here!
- A group of bats is a colony, crows is a m**..., sheep is a flock. What is a group of idiots called? A Freedom Caucus.
- What's the difference between a sheep and a Welshman? One lives in flocks in the hills and gets its hair s**... once a year, the other's a sheep.
Flock Of Seagulls Jokes
Here is a list of funny flock of seagulls jokes and even better flock of seagulls puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I really wanna go to the Flock of Seagulls concert in the middle east... But Iran so far away.
- A flock of seagulls wanted to fly to Iran... ..but Iran so far away!
- I was studying abroad in the Middle East, when a flock of seagulls attacked Iran so far away.. 'Couldn't get away
- What did a flock of seagulls say when they realized it would take them a long time to fly to the Middle East? Iran, Iran so far away
- Did you know the 80's pop band "A Flock of Seagulls" is gaining alot of attention in the middle east? They're getting really popular in Pakistan, Afghanistan And Iran, I ran so far away!
- Why won't A Flock of Seagulls perform in the Middle East? Iran so far away
- I wanted to go see A Flock of Seagulls performing live in the middle-east But Iran so far away.
- Did you hear about the 'Flock of Seagulls' fan who shot himself? [OC] Apparently the gun had a hair trigger.
- Red-nosed Rudolph was hit by a 747 and a flock of seagulls on Christmas Eve during a gift delivery over Barcelona The reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane
(Courtesy of Colin Mochrie)
Delightful Fun Flock Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about flock you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fowl jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make flock pranks.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi decided to go skinny dipping...
Suddenly, they saw three women walking towards them. Each was a member of their flocks. The priest and the minister covered their privates with their hands and closed their eyes waiting for the agony to end.
After the women walked away they noticed the rabbi had covered his face and not his nether regions. He said, "My flock recognizes my face. What kinda sermons do you give?"
Once upon a time, there were two cavemen...
There were two cavemen overlooking the tundra.
Caveman 1: Hey look! A flock of elephants!
Caveman 2: Herd?
Caveman 1: Herd of what?
Caveman 2: HERD of elephants.
Caveman 1: 'course I have! There's a flock of them, right over there!
Reindeer joke!
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer passed away today at the age of 57. He was struck by a 747 jet liner and a flock of seagulls as he flew over Barcelona. Coroners say that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.
What do you call a flock of crows who are resisting the urge to sin?
*A tempted m**...*
A Psychiatrist is sitting in his office...
When his secretary comes in and says "Sir, there's a man here to see you who thinks he's a flock of crows. If you ask me we should just send him to the loony bin and be done with it."
And the psychiatrist replied "Doris! Are you asking me to commit a m**...!?"
I witnessed a m**... today...
Though it may have just been a flock of jackdaws, I'm not a biologist.
Hey look! A flock of cows!
Herd of cows...
Of course I've heard of cows there's a flock right over there!
A blond is tired
A blond gets tired of blond jokes, so she dyes her hair. She goes for a ride and comes across a farmer with a flock of sheep. She asks the farmer, "If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?" The farmer accepts. The blond guesses, "382". The farmer says, "Wow, that's correct. Pick any one you want!" She looks over the entire flock before picking one and putting it in her car. The farmer then says, "I have an offer for you. If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Pigeons...
I've just seen a flock of pigeons in army unifoms.
I think it might be a military coo.
Most Intelligent But Funniest
An engineer, a physicist and a mathematicians have to build a fence around a flock of sheep, using as little material as possible. The engineer forms the flock into a circular shape and constructs a fence around it. The physicist builds a fence with an infinite diameter and pulls it together until it fits around the flock. The mathematicians thinks for a while, then builds a fence around himself and defines himself as being outside.
Did you hear about the flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage?
It was a m**... most foul.
Have you ever heard the one about the brown nosed duck?
He was just as fast as the others in the flock, but he couldn't stop.
I saw a flock of angry ducks the other day.
I wonder why they were in such a fowl mood.
What does an Otrinthologist call a group of h**...?
a flock of swallows
A group of fish is a school. A group of birds is a flock. A group of wolves is a pack. What do you call a group of Trump supporters?
A k**...
Did you hear about the giant flock of crows who attacked and killed hundreds of people in a church during the sermon?
How do crows stick together in a flock?
Vel-crow
A flock of geese passes by overhead, in class 'v' formation.
Dad: Do you know why one side of the 'v' is longer than the other?
Son: No, why?
Dad: Because it has more geese.
A plane hits a flock of ducks and begins to fall out the sky.
The people on the plane start screaming in horror in their final moments. This one beautiful wan suddenly stands up, tears open her shirt and says "I can die like this. Who's man enough to make me feel like a woman one last time."
A man stands up a few rows back. Pops his button up shirt off and holds it out for the woman. "Here. Iron this"
What do you call a flock of crows eyeing a cake?
A tempted m**....
After feeling like he's being followed by a flock of ducks for years, a spanish man finally decides to lose them by jumping in front of a train...
I guess you could say it was quite a loco motive.
Big bird's flock rejected him because of how tall he was...
He was ostrich-sized.
An engineer, a physicist and a mathematicians have to build a fence around a flock of sheep, using as little material as possible.
The engineer forms the flock into a circular shape and constructs a fence around it.
The physicist builds a fence with an infinite diameter and pulls it together until it fits around the flock.
The mathematicians thinks for a while, then builds a fence around himself and defines himself as being outside.
What do you call a group of rabbits
A nest
What do you call a group of birds
A flock
What do you call a group of Lions
Dangerous
I went to ask a farmer for help
"I'm having lots of issues with a flock of cows"
"Heard of cows?"
"Yeah of course I've heard of cows there's a flock of them over there"
A shepherd owned a remarkable dog, deft at sheep herding and able to speak.
At the end of the day, after his dog had herded the flock into the pen, the shepherd asked his canine friend to confirm how many sheep were in.
"40," the dog barked.
"40? I counted 37."
"Yes," replied the dog, "I rounded them up."
What did one shepherd say to another shepherd on a cold winter's night?
I'm freezing! Let's get the flock out of here!
Train passes a flock of sheep
Passenger says to his friend, wonder how many sheep there are.
His friend takes a quick gander, shrugs, and remarks, Looks like 82.
What? How do you know that??
Easy. I counted their legs and divided by 4.
Sensei, I've been training for years, and I'm not getting any stronger. What's going on?
Have you seen the flock of cranes fly over the old mountain at sunrise?
Yes.
Have you seen the great lightning storms crack the sky before making way for a rainbow?
Yes.
Have you seen the fabled tiger as it hunts prey in the forest, quicker than the eye can see?
Yes, Sensei.
That's the problem. You keep watching s**... s**... instead of practicing!
A guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into a bar and orders a bottle of champagne. "What are you celebrating?" the bartender asks. "I just got my first novel published," the guy announces. "It's a thriller about a flock of 2,000 mockingbirds." "What's it called?" "2 kilomockingbirds," the guy replies.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were taking the train one day when they passed a huge flock of sheep in a field.
As quickly as they had observed the fluffy cloud it had passed out of view.
"So many sheep!" Watson exclaimed. "I wonder how many there were?"
"Elementary, Dear Watson. There were 167 sheep." Sherlock calmly stated.
"Holmes, are you really telling me you managed to count them all in that brief moment?" Watson inquired.
"Don't be silly, Watson. I counted the legs and divided them by four."
Four doctors are sitting in a boat in the reeds, duck hunting.
The family practitioner spots a flock of fowl flying overhead, turns to the specialist and says: "I think those are ducks. I need a second opinion."
The specialist says: "I can schedule you in for a consult in two months."
The surgeon picks up his shotgun. BLAM-BLAM-BLAM!!! Three of the birds fall down into the water. He turns to the pathologist and says: "Run a test on them, will you, and see if they're ducks."
There's a guy in my neighbourhood who I used to think was really weird. I'd always see him out walking his rabbit. The rabbit was always in a different outfit. One day a frock. One day a skirt. One day a suit-jacket combo. Then it multiplied into a flock of rabbits, all wearing really niche clothes.
Eventually, curiosity got the better of me and I approached him and asked "excuse me sir, I can't help but notice your entourage of dapper rabbits. Can I ask what you do?"
He replied "Oh I'm a hare stylist."
p**... and m**... take a short cut home across a farmers field
p**...: "Ahhh, m**... look: there's a flock of Cows in the next field"
m**... says: "Herd of Cows, p**...... Herd of Cows"
Mildly infuriated, p**... replies:
"Of course I've heard of Cows, m**...: there's a b**... flock of them in the next field!!"
HELP: Trying to write a joke
I hope this doesn't go against any sub rules. I'm ok if it gets deleted.
So, I had an idea pop into my head last night, and I need some help in fleshing out the body of the joke.
It would go something like this:
A man and his son are walking near (body of water) on Christmas Day. They come across a flock of sheep doing (land/water based military manoeuvres). The day looks around totally bewildered and asks "What is going on here?"
The son answers, "That's a Fleece Navy, Dad."
Any ideas?
