Floating Jokes

These are the 93 floating jokes and hilarious floating puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about floating that are good jokes for kids and friends.

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jokes about floating

Best Short Floating Jokes

These are our top floating puns. Have fun with a good floating joke in English with simple floating humour.

  1. You can tell the gender of an ant by dropping it in water. If it sinks it's girl ant, If it floats it's boy ant.
  2. Did you know you can tell the gender of an ant by throwing it in water? If it sinks, girl ant. If it floats, buoyant.
  3. Some people think filling animals with helium is wrong... I don't judge. Whatever floats your goat.
  4. science fact - did you know you can find the gender of an ant by putting it in water? If it sinks, girl ant.
    If it floats, buoyant.
  5. How can you tell an ant's gender? 1. Get a glass full of water
    2. Throw the ant into the glass
    3. If it sinks, it's girl ant
    4. If it floats, it's boy ant
  6. How do you make a human corpse float? Two scoops ice cream, one scoop human corpse, and half a liter of root beer.
  7. How do you tell the difference between a boy ant and a girl ant? Drop the ant in a glass of water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant.
    If it floats, it's buoyant.
  8. As a programmer, I may not be able to set up a parade... But I can make an array of floats...
  9. "This is your Captain speaking..." "...if you look out of your window you will see a small yellow life raft floating in the sea. I am talking to you from there."
  10. How to tell ant gender Put the ant in water and if it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it floats, boy ant.
Floating joke, How to tell ant gender

Make fun with this list of one liners, gags and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor found in these floating jokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of floating puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, these jokes offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Floating One Liners

Which floating dad jokes are funny enough to crack down and make fun with floating?

  1. How do you make a whale float? Two scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a whale.
  2. What floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee? Nothing.
  3. People tell me filling animals with helium is bad.. But i say whatever floats your goat.
  4. Some say putting helium in animals is wrong. I say whatever floats your goat.
  5. Why do dogs float? because they're good buoys
  6. Why do gay men float? Flambuoyancy
  7. Why do dogs float Because they are always such a good buoy.
  8. Why do gay guys float easier then straight guys. Because they are flamboyant.
  9. All things that float are female They're boyn't
  10. I've invented a new soft drink that floats out the can It breaks the laws of fizzicks
  11. What did they find floating in the toilet of the S.S Enterprise? Captains Log
  12. What makes gay people float? Flambuoyancy
  13. How do gay people float? Flambuoyancy.
  14. Wanna know how you can make an elephant float? One elephant, two scoops of ice cream.
  15. What does a pirate do for entertainment? Whatever floats his boat.

Floating joke, What does a pirate do for entertainment?

Giggle-Inducing Floating Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about floating to tell and make people laugh ? Check out these list of good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make floating prank.

The other day a girl asked me if I like b**... or thighs. I told her I prefer bubble butts and a trimmed p**... with thin lips...

So I got kicked out of KFC.

If you're from it, sorry...

Q. Why doesn't Texas float away into the gulf?
A. Oklahoma s**...

Hipster Jokes!

Why did the hipster float down the tributary?
Because the river was too mainstream.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Some obscure number you've never heard of.
Why did the hipster burn his mouth when he ate pizza?
Because he ate it before it was cool.

So last night I fell off my balcony...

Instead of falling and getting really badly hurt, I kinda just floated down to the ground... landing without a scratch.
The news spread fast and everyone was wondering how that happened. I was later asked to explain the whole event, but I couldn't. I guess I just didn't get the whole gravity of the situation.

An Englishman, American and Irishman walk into a bar.

All three of them order a beer. The Englishman sees a fly floating in his beer and calls the bartender over and demands a new beer. The American also sees a fly floating in his beer and just flicks it away and drinks the beer. The Irishman sees a fly in his beer also and picks it up and screams "SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT!"

Quadriplegic jokes I've gathered from over the years.

What do you call a quadriplegic that hangs on your wall?
What do you call a quadriplegic that lays on your porch?
What do you call a quadriplegic that is in a hole?
What do you call a quadriplegic in a ditch?
What do you call a quadriplegic doing water ski jumps?
What do you call a quadriplegic floating in the water?
What do you call a quadriplegic playing in a pile of leaves?
What do you call a quadriplegic inside of your mail box?

Four gay guys are sitting in a hot tub

When a c**... floats up to the surface.
One says, "Who f**...?"

Two balloons

are floating in the desert. one balloon says to the other, "hey! watch out for that cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss"

Mother's Day

Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen.
But after a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs.
"As a surprise for Mother's Day," one explained, "we decided to cook our own breakfast."

When your iPod stops working, it floats.

Because it doesn't sync.

What do you call a guy who's laying down in front of a door?...Matt. What do you call a guy floating up and down in the water?... Bob. What do you call a guy leaning against a wall?...Art. What do you call a gal who you owe money to that you set on fire?...


How do you make an elephant float?

A can of coke, a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and an elephant.

"What are those things on mommy's chest?"

A young boy once asked his father: "DAD, what are those things on mommy's chest?" The father replied: "Son, those are mommy's balloons you see, before she dies they get pumped up and she floats to heaven."
A couple days later, the father comes home early from work and sits on the couch. The young boy runs downstairs screaming: "DAD! DAD! MOM'S DYING!" The father get's up quickly and asks: "WHAT'S WRONG!!" The young boy replies: "UNCLE JAKE'S UPSTAIRS BLOWING UP MOMMY'S BALLOONS AND SHE'S YELLING OH GOD I'M COMING!"

A bunch of gay guys are sitting in a hot tub...

They see some s**... floating around, and o**... asks "ewwww who f**...?"

[Programmer Joke] Why did the int drown?

Because he couldn't float! (Insert laughter here)

How do you make an elephant float?

Take one elephant, two tons of ice cream, and one ton of soda. Blend.

How do you make a dead baby float ?

Two scoops of ice-cream and one scoop of dead baby.

How do you tell the s**... of an ant?

If it floats, it's a boy-ant.

Who was the best financier in the Bible?

noah. He floated his stock while the whole world was in liquidation.

The eldest of three siblings comes up to his mother and asks: "Mommy, mommy, why is my name Leaf?"

"Well, honey," the mother says, "it's because when you were a little baby, a leaf landed on your head."
Satisfied, the child goes away.
Later, the middle child tugs at her mother's hand. "Mommy, mommy, why is my name Feather?"
"Well, darling," the mother says, "it's because when you were a little baby, a feather floated down and landed on your head."
The little girl smiles and goes on her way.
A few moments later the youngest child runs into the room and says: "WARGLBARGLAAHRGLB?"
The mother says: "Shut up, Refrigerator."

What is the difference between a dead h**... and a brick?

I don't have a brick floating in my pool.

Apparently filling animals with helium is "a**...", pfft

Whatever floats your goat, I guess.

A man walks into a bar and orders a Manhattan.

The drink comes and he sees a piece of parsley floating in the glass.
"What in the world is this?"
The bartender says, "Central Park."

How can you tell male from female ants?

Throw them in a bucket of water; if it floats, it's buoyant.

How do you know if an ant is male or female?

Put it in water. If it sinks it's female. If it floats it's buoy-ant.

You know how to make a dead baby float?

2 scoops of dead baby and a coke....

A penguin falls asleep on an iceberg,...

When he wakes up, he finds himself encased in ice, floating in the middle of the ocean. To his fortune, he spots the horn of a narwhal close by. Thanking his lucky stars, he calls out to him. The narwhal comes and the penguin asks "Thank goodness you're around, Mr. Narwhal. Could you break the ice?". The narwhal stares at him for a bit.
"Ok, so what are your hobbies?"

You can determine the gender of an ant by throwing it in a puddle of water

If it sinks it's a girl ant, but if it floats it's a boy ant

My friend was showing me his new golf ball.

He tells me, "This ball is amazing, you can't lose it. If it goes in the rough, it makes a beeping sound. It glows in the dark so you can find it when its getting dark. If it goes in the water, it will float and make its way back to the shore."
I said to him, "That's incredible, where did you get it?"
"Found it"

Two dinosaurs standing on a cliff

As they're looking out to sea an ark floats past. One dinosaur turns to the other one and says,
'Oh, was that today?'

How do you tell an ant's gender?

Put it in water. If it sinks it's a female and if it floats it's a buoyant.

A cargo ship sank in the ocean. The cargo, Idaho potatoes and rubber p**..., floated in the vicinity.

The Coast Guard had received a distress call, but a chopper arrived to find no ship in the water. Seeing the cargo strewn about on the water, they decided to send a diver down to look for the ship.
"I already know what kind of ship to look for," the diver told the chopper pilot.
"How could you possibly know what kind of ship it was?" replied the pilot.
"It was a dictatorship."

Person 1: For the last time, it's not "reverse gravity", it's called BUOYANCY

Person 2: *shrugs* Whatever floats your boat

Two balloons were floating around a desert.

One said to the other, "look, a cactussssssssss..."

A magician gets himself a parrot for his act

After a couple weeks of performing with the magician the parrot begins to heckle the magician during his shows. "it's under his hat, it's up his sleeve, his assistant has it."
The magician is performing on a cruise ship when the ship sinks. The magician wakes up on a piece of driftwood with the parrot standing on the opposite end. The parrot and the magician spend 2 days floating at sea without saying a word.
Finally the parrot says, "Alright, I give up. Where's the boat?"

What do you call a soda and cream drink with a lit cherry bomb at the bottom?

A Beirut-beer Float

Two Italian guys, Dino and Marcello, go fishing on a boat

Suddenly, Dino spots an old WWII bomb floating towards them.
Dino screams "Marcello! Look! It's a mine!"
Marcello -scared- replies "Okay okay Dino, you can a have it!"

I told my gf that i had a crush on beyonce!

And she said to me "Whatever floats your boat"
And i said "No that's **Buoyancy**"

There are two great financial geniuses in the Bible

One was Noah, who floated his stock while everyone else had to go into liquidation.
The other one was pharaoh's daughter, who went to the bank of the Nile and drew out a prophet.

What's big, yellow and doesn't float?

An excavator.
Didn't think that was funny?
Neither did the driver

Gary and Pete, 2 alcoholics, were lost at sea.

While floating in their small boat, they spotted a bottle on the water.
Gary quickly grabbed the bottle and took out the cork.
To his shock, a genie flew out.
"You have freed me. You may have a wish."
Gary thought hard and pointed at the sea.
"Turn all this water into Guiness."
There was a flash and the genie was gone, leaving a frothy sea of Guinness.
"why would you do that?!" complained Pete.
"What, you don't want beer?" asked Gary.
Pete shook his head and sighed.
"Now we'll have to p**... in the boat."

You can tell the s**... of an ant by dropping it in water.

If they float, they're boy-ant.

Me: I think I have a crush on Beyonce

Mate: Whatever floats your boat.
Me: No, that Buoyancy

Why did the dog float in the water?

Because he's a good buoy :p

My little brother won a goldfish at the local fair. Sadly, the next morning he was floating dead in his little pond.

So now I have to look after the fish.

Putin asks a fortune teller when he will die...

Putin starts reading all the stuff on the Internet about how he has cancer, is going to be assassinated or overthrown. He goes to a fortune teller and pays her 1,000 rubles to tell his fortune.
She looks in her crystal ball. He says "tell me what you see." She says "I see parades. People dancing. They are wearing historic Ukrainian peasant outfits. There are floats and bands. You die on a Ukrainian holiday.
"Yes, but when" Putin says. "Which holiday?"
She says (of course) "Any day you die will be a Ukrainian national holiday."

A man went skydiving for the first time. "It's easy," said the instructor.

"Just count to five and pull on the main c**...," the instructor continued. "If that doesn't open, count to ten and pull on the reserve c**...."
"Super easy," he concluded. "Then you'll float slowly to the ground, and our bus will be there to drive you back to the airport."
The man jumped out the plane, and pulled on the main c**.... Nothing happened. He pulled on the reserve c**.... Nothing happened.
He looked down at the ground which was approaching fast, and said: "I bet that bus won't be there to pick me up either."

I inherited a magic device that floats in the sky and weaves magic carpets.

You might say it's a family air loom.

An apple and a p**... were floating down the river.

The p**... yells: "Apple, apple, come play with me." The apple says: "No! Ew! Stay away from me!"
A little further down the river the p**... yells again, "Apple, apple, come play with me." The apple disgustingly replies, "No! Ew! Stay away from me!"
Suddenly a man grabs the apple out the river and takes a bite. The p**... shouts to apple, "See you tomorrow!"

I told my friend like Beyoncé

He said whatever floats your boat
I said, no that's buoyancy!

Who was the greatest financer in the bible?

Noah, cause he floated his stocks while the rest of the world was in liquidation.

Me: I think I have a crush on Beyonce

Random person: Yeah whatever floats your boat.
Me: No, that's Buoyancy.

Some people say that it's wrong to fill up balloon animals with helium.

But whatever floats your goat.

Floating joke, Some people say that it's wrong to fill up balloon animals with helium.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like kids and toddlers can enjoy. They can be verbal, as in a play on words, or narrative, often involving a set-up and a punchline. JokoJokes has it all! Jokes in Spanish are also found. Teens are often joking with 4 year olds and 6 year olds. Found out more in our Jokes FAQ section

The impact of these floating jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.