The Best 58 Float Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Float jokes. There are some float drift jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these float scoop puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Float Jokes and Puns

How do you make a dead baby float?

One glass of rootbeer and two scoops of dead baby.

Two Jewish banker escaped from that sinking Italian cruise ship

They were both clinging to a life preserver. One guy, knowing the other can't swim, says, " I'm going to try to swim to shore to get some help. Can you float alone?"

The second Jewish banker says, "how could you talk business at a time like this?"

If you're from it, sorry...

Q. Why doesn't Texas float away into the gulf?

A. Oklahoma sucks

Float joke, If you're from it, sorry...

Hipster Jokes!

Why did the hipster float down the tributary?

Because the river was too mainstream.

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Some obscure number you've never heard of.

Why did the hipster burn his mouth when he ate pizza?

Because he ate it before it was cool.

There once was a floating head...

Being very sad that he had no body, he floated into a bar. Upon receiving his alcohol, he began to drink. Slowly, after every sip, a body started to appear from neck down. Excitedly, he ordered more and more drinks and drank them, until he finally had a whole body. After leaving some money on the counter he stumbled out into the street and got hit by a bus. The moral of the story? Stop while you're ahead.


How do you make an elephant float?

A can of coke, a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and an elephant.

How do gay people float?

Flambuoyancy.

Float joke, How do gay people float?

Muhammad Ali in 1974: Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee

Floyd Mayweather in 2015: Run like a chicken, hug like a bear

[Programmer Joke] Why did the int drown?

Because he couldn't float! (Insert laughter here)

How do you make an elephant float?

Take one elephant, two tons of ice cream, and one ton of soda. Blend.

How do you make a dead baby float ?

Two scoops of ice-cream and one scoop of dead baby.

You can explore float custard reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean float swam dad jokes. There are also float puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why do gay men float?

Flambuoyancy

What's black and yellow and doesn't float?

A bulldozer.

What wood doesn't float?

Natalie Wood.

What floats on water and goes quick?

A South African duck

What floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee?

Nothing.

Float joke, What floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee?

Why are gay guys able to float?

Because they're flamboyant.

What did the ship captain say when his son learned to float ?

That's my buoy !

Ice cubes are very badass

I mean they float around their own blood


How do you make...

How do you make a dead baby float?
With a scoop of ice cream.

How do you make a dead baby shake?
Cup of milk
2 cups of fruit
A dead baby and a blender

How do you make a dead baby split?
A sharp axe and a strong swing.

How do you make a dead baby float?

Easy!

Just add Root beer and Ice Cream!

How do you make a dead baby float?

-2 scoops vanilla icecream

-2 scoops baby

-Add rootbeer and serve

How do you make an elephant float?

Take a cup and add root beer, two scoops of ice cream, and an elephant

How do you make a human corpse float?

Two scoops ice cream, one scoop human corpse, and half a liter of root beer.

The density of Saturn is so low that the whole planet would float on the water in your bath.

However, you wouldn't want to try this experiment at home as it would leave a massive ring around the tub.

How do you make a pig float?

One cup pig, two scoops ice cream.

What do you call a breast that couldn't float?

Sanctity

You know how to make a dead baby float?

2 scoops of dead baby and a coke....

How do you make a dead baby float?

You take your foot off its head.

Wanna know how you can make an elephant float?

One elephant, two scoops of ice cream.

How do you tell apart a girl ant and a boy ant?

the girl ant will sink

^the ^boy ^ant ^will ^float

A man has just died.

As his soul leaves his body and begins to float towards the clouds, he hears a loud, booming voice.

**"Come. Come towards the light, my son."**

And so he does.

Meanwhile, atop his cloud, God laughs, as another human hits his bug zapper.

Why did the Avengers have the best float at the parade?

They had a gigantic Banner!

How do you make a baby float?

A bottle of soda, a cup of water, and two scoops of baby.

What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?

A cherry float

Ants can float on water using their toes. But why can't larger ants float on milk?

Because they lack toes in taller ants.

Why do girls float better than boys?

Because they're boyn't.

My friend was showing me his new golf ball.

He tells me, "This ball is amazing, you can't lose it. If it goes in the rough, it makes a beeping sound. It glows in the dark so you can find it when its getting dark. If it goes in the water, it will float and make its way back to the shore."

I said to him, "That's incredible, where did you get it?"

"Found it"

All things that float are female

They're boyn't

Why can't integers swim?

Because they can't float

Why do gay guys float easier then straight guys.

Because they are flamboyant.

A midget walks into a sporting goods store.

He then walks to the cashier and says "hey I am a little short any chance you could float me"

Why does the Buddha float in water?

Because he's enlightened

My friend Claire predicted she'd be able to float in water

Guess she thought she was Claire bouyant.

A guy goes fishing with Jesus in a small boat.

In the excitement of bringing in a fish one of the paddles gets dislodged and starts to float away. No problem I'll go get it says Jesus, and he just steps out and walks over to where it is and picks it up casually walking back to the boat.
Later his friends are asking him about their time on the water curious about his day with Jesus.
Well it's the craziest thing he says, I don't think he can swim!!!

How do you make a dead baby float?

Half a can of rootbeer. 2 scoops of dead baby.

Does a gay man float?

Does a gay man float?


Yeah, they can be flambouyant.

Why do dogs float in water?

Because they are good buoys.

Why do dogs float?

because they're good buoys

Why do girls float?

They are boyn't.

What makes gay people float?

Flambuoyancy

What do you call a girl that can float on water?

Boyn't

Why do lesbians float?

Because they're boyn't

What's big, yellow and doesn't float?

An excavator.

Didn't think that was funny?
Neither did the driver

Did you hear about the Pride Parade float that fell over?

Apparently it was top-heavy

I was boiling some noodles until the pot suddenly began to float.

Needless to say, it was soup rising.

Why do dogs float

Because they are always such a good buoy.

What do you call a virgin on a water bed?

A cherry float. Budumtumcheesh

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the float capsize jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working float waterlogged piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes