Flirting Jokes
65 flirting jokes and hilarious flirting puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about flirting that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the top flirting jokes for every situation including math, nurse, science, doctor, chemistry, and corny jokes. Use these to become more attractive and meet new people in a fun and flirtatious way.
Quick Jump To
- Short Flirting Jokes
- Flirting One Liners
- Flirting Doctor Jokes
- Flirting Math Jokes
- More Flirting Jokes
Funniest Flirting Short Jokes
Short flirting jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The flirting humour may include short flirty jokes also.
- Guy: I'm hungover Girl: Stop flirting with me on the walkie talkies, someone's gonna hear us. Over.
- My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. "She obviously has COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste."
- Been chatting and flirting with this 14 year old chick Now she tells me she's an undercover cop. How freakin' cool is that for someone her age.
- I was flirting with this teenager on the internet... ...after a while, she tells me she's an undercover cop.
How cool is that for someone her age? - My IT friend tried to flirt with a waitress and failed miserably I guess it wasn't the first time he couldn't connect to the server
- What happens when a computer engineer fails flirting with a waitress? Error in connecting to the server
- My boss won't stop flirting with me, it's making me feel really uncomfortable. Mainly because we're a family run business.
- My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. "She obviously has COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "Because she has no taste."
- Me trying to flirt Me: hey girl you dropped something
Girl: what?
Me: your standards, hi I'm John - Turns out that Roy Moore is having a bad influence on weather in Alabama. The temperatures are flirting with the teens this week.
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Flirting One Liners
Which flirting one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with flirting? I can suggest the ones about chatting and kissing.
- How do ships flirt online? They send deck pics.
- How do you flirt with a calligraphist? Say, "You have pretty I's!"
- How does one hacker flirt with the other "I'll show you yours if you show me mine"
- if a girl is being nice to you it doesn't mean she is flirting She might be a Canadian
- Are you a mum?
I am not a dad!
Maybe you could help me with that! - How does a technophile flirt? Heyy Siri
- Can I read your t-shirt in braille?
- Hey, you wanna do a 68?
You go down on me, and I'll owe you one. - Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
- We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows...
You're hot and I wanna be on top of you. - I lost my virginity.
Can I have yours? - Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
- Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
- I wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.
- I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
Flirting Doctor Jokes
Here is a list of funny flirting doctor jokes and even better flirting doctor puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
- You are in my heart, you are in my blood, you are in all my body.
Alas, my doc says: "You are a parasite!"
Flirting Math Jokes
Here is a list of funny flirting math jokes and even better flirting math puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Do you like maths?
If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Flirting Jokes
What funny jokes about flirting you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean winking jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make flirting pranks.
70 year old man goes to his doctor
and tells the doctor the night before he met a woman half his age. She started flirting with him, and one thing led to another. He went back to her place, he got instantly hard, and they s**... like bunnies for 4 hours.
The doctor asks, "So what's wrong?". Guy responds, "Nothing's wrong."
The doctor says, "So why are you telling this to me?".
Guy says, "Telling you - I'm telling everybody!!!"
So a black man walks into a bar on a Friday night...
...and a woman approaches him and the two hit it off very well. After hours of flirting and dancing together they head back to the woman's apartment. The woman begins to undress and says, "Show me that it's true what they say about black men." So the black man stabs her, steals her purse and leaves.
Yesterday at the optician...
So I was getting new glasses at the optician yesterday and she was real cute, so I was flirting and it was going pretty well until I fell into the lens grinder and made a spectacle of myself.
A women gets pulled over.
Attempting to get out of a ticket, she tries, as the cop is walking to her car, to try flirting.
"Hi," she says seductively.
"Hi," he replies.
"I thought you didn't give pretty ladies tickets?" She pouts.
"You're right, we don't. Here's your ticket, have a nice day."
A woman in her twenties sees a large black man walking by and decides to flirt with him. So is it true what they say about black guys?
He responds, Sure is. Then he punched her in the face and stole her purse.
Two women are talking and the conversation veers towards work...
One of them says to the other:
"Work is great! The jobs are challenging, my coworkers are supportive and the pay is phenomenal. But there is one problem. The mail boy is constantly flirting with me and its borderline harrasment now."
"Well, what did he say?"
"Its just the one thing, everytime he passes by me he compliments me on how wonderful my hair smells."
"That doesnt sound too bad."
"Yeah, but hes a dwarf!"
A man took a woman out for dinner...
but she didn't speak a word of English. They were having a great time, though, feeding each other, flirting, touching and giggling. After the meal is over, the woman draws a picture of a bed on a napkin and gives a sly wink. The man still can't figure out how she knew he was in the furniture business.
The comments in another thread were slamming Readers Digest jokes, and that's where this one came from.
I was flirting with an Asian girl at a bar last night when I decided to ask for her number.
She replied, "s**...! s**...! s**...! Free s**... tonight!"
I said, "Wow!"
Then her friend said, "She means 6663629".
A Koala walks into a bar...
So he sits down and after a while of chatting with the barkeep he starts to notice a girl eyeing him from across the bar. So he goes and talks to her and after some flirting they decide to go upstairs
So they go upstairs and get into the 69 position and when its all said and done the koala goes to leave, but the girl says "Hey, where's my money?" Appalled he says "What do you mean?" She replies by telling him to look up the definition of p**... in the dictionary. He does so and it reads 'One who does s**... acts for money.' He then tells her to look up the definition of koala in the dictionary. She does this and it reads "small, tree dwelling marsupial that eats bush and leaves."
My Version Of Flirting!
My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive and hoping they're braver than I am.
Do you know what happened the first time Ed Sheeran started flirting with a girl before he was famous?
She ran.
Do you know the way little children run towards the waves of the ocean but back up the very last second?
That's the exact same way I flirt with girls
A new hot secretary joined a company...
Two guys of this company start to speak about her:
"Holy molly she is so hot, we should really try to sleep with her"
So they start flirting with her.
One week later, the first one manages to sleep with her. His friend asks him "So, how was it?" "Meh, my wife is better".
Surprised by this answer, this guy starts to hit on the secretary very hard, and gets to have s**... with her three days later.
His friend then asks him if he shares his opinion. He answers: "Yeah, you were actually right: your wife is better".
I was flirting with a girl at a party. My friend came over and whispered in my ear.
He said, "What's going on between you two tonight?"
I said, "A c**...."
Met an older woman at a bar last night.
She wasn't bad for 57, we drank and flirted a bit, then she asked if I'd ever had a mother and daughter combo? I said no.
We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight is my lucky night.
I went back to her place.
She put the hall light on and shouted upstairs:
"Mom, you still awake?"
A man writing in his diary:
I am an ideal man. I don't smoke, drink, or go to night clubs. I have always been loyal to my wife and don't flirt with strange women. I sleep at eight o'clock and wake up early. I exercise daily and work regular hours. But all this will change as soon as I get out of prison.
Come over
A guy and a girl had been flirting for sometime.
One day the girl says come over there's no one at home
So the guys quickly goes to the girls house and starts ringing the doorbell. He knocks and rings the doorbell again several times but... nobody answered
What's the difference between flirting and s**... harassment?
Whether or not the woman finds the man attractive.
What's the difference between a fire wizard and someone who flirts with pastries?
One is a Pyromancer, the other is a pie-romancer.
Secret to a happy marriage is to go out for dinner twice a week, to flirt and have fun.
Wife goes on Mondays, I go on Fridays
My teacher tried to flirt with me in class today.
It made me really uncomfortable. She kept saying "You look s**...!" and "wanna have a little fun in bed?"
It's tough being homeschooled.
A man meets a foreign girl, they flirt with each other, and end up sleeping with each other.
After the man came, he asked her 'you finish'?
She shook her head.
Dutifully the men got back to work, and after another round of l**... he asked her 'you finish?'
The girl shook her head again.
The man barely had any energy left, but continued the l**... nonetheless. In the end he collapses on the bed and asks again 'you finish?'
The girl shakes her head and replies 'No, I'm Swedish'.
A doctor and an archeologist start flirting
After a while of the doctor asks:
- What do you do for a living
- Im an archeologist she answers
The doctor responds:
- Then I guess this isnt going to work out, you will constantly be dating other people
A doctor flirted with me today, she said I was really sweet!
I think she meant I was really sweet, she worded it differently and said you're severely diabetic but I know what she meant. She said I'm type 2 and I told her she's my type too
I was at a restaurant and a cute waitress was flirting with me. She gave her email and told me to hit her up sometime. I tried to email her the next day but the internet was down.
I couldn't connect to the server
My mate from Newcastle told me he was good at flirting,
so I pushed him in the river but he started to sink...
Guy: I'm hungover
Girl: Stop trying to flirt with me over the walkie-talkie, someone will hear. Over.
What message did the cyborg see upon his failed attempt to flirt with the waitress?
Error! Unable to establish a connection with server.
I met a girl last night & after so flirting asked her if she wanted to come home with me to play "Doctor"?
So when we got to my place, I left her sitting on my couch with a bunch of out dated magazines on the end table for 2 1/2 hours before I came out of my bedroom.
A woman is flirting with a Russian man at a bar(a joke)
She says,
"Hi, handsome, what do you do for a living?"
The russian replies,
"I work for KGB."
"Cool, tell me an interesting story!"
"About me or about you?"
Dinner Date
My husband and I were out for dinner and the waiter started flirting with me. "She obviously has COVID," my husband said. "Why?," I asked. My husband replied, "Because she has no taste."
A man sits down next to a woman on a bus
The man starts flirting with her, and in the course of their conversation she admits that she's a nymphomaniac.
"Oh really," says the man, instantly more engaged in their conversation.
"Yeah", she confirms, "but I'm only attracted to Jewish cowboys. Anyway, my name is Mary-Beth, what's your name?"
The man shakes her hand and says, "nice to meet you, Mary-Beth, my name is Yosemite Goldstein."
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Eddie izzard bee joke
Beekeepers as well say - I want to be a beekeeper. I want to keep bees. No I don't want them to get away, I want to keep them. Too much freedom. I want bees on elastic so when they get Poland they come back here. My father was a beekeeper before me, his father was a beekeeper before him. I want to walk in their footsteps and their footsteps were like this. I'm covered in bees covered in bees is actually a job. Isn't it it they must lose it beekeepers must lose it occasionally. You know you're there you got the netting you've got two thousand bees and essentially you're trying to steal honey. mMorning morning morning hello not coming in hello - look there's a Ferrari over there can you see that Ferrari yes it's going bet fast. Isn't it well morning thank you must be just walking back with all these bees room at some point in let's go what * am i doing I'm coming to me hell! Goddamn be and you don't get the normal perks of a normal job like people who work in an office. They have other people there you can flirt you know you're gonna. Hey hey you new here are you getting lift you want a coffee is he's gonna get a coffee did you know. I like my coffee like I like my women in a plastic cup. Beekeepers can't do that. Hello there you're in the street. You're new aren't you? You want a cup of coffee. Just no problems no no real problem. Throwing a cup of coffee from you you're covered in bees. I like my women like I like my coffee. They're coming to me back off back off back off back off back off always just behind you if beekeepers did get together and go on a sort of general outing and they in a van with a load of bees flying faster faster faster faster faster let go put your foot down yes
