The Best 86 Flirt Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Flirt jokes. There are some flirt flirtatious jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these flirt girl puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Flirt Jokes and Puns

Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!

Are you a mum?

I am not a dad!

Maybe you could help me with that!

Do you like maths?

If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!

Flirt joke

Hey girl, your body reminds me of Mcdonalds, because I'm loving it!

This elliptical isn't the only thing getting my heart rate up.


I got stopped by a police officer on the way here.



He told me it was illegal to carry these guns in public.

Do you believe in love at first set?

Or should I curl this barbell another 10 times?

Flirt joke

How'd you like to go on a long romantic walk on the treadmill?

I heard that the missionary position helps men to work out the chest and triceps.

.. do you wanna help me verify this?

I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.

I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.

You can explore flirt abcdefghijk reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean flirt meets dad jokes. There are also flirt puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!

If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.

Hey, you wanna do a 68?

You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.

Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.

I lost my virginity.

Can I have yours?

Flirt joke

You are so selfish!

You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.

Are you an elevator?

Cause I wanna go down on you.

I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.


Can I read your t-shirt in braille?

Are you a candle?

Because I want to blow you.

I wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.

Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?

We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows...

You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.

Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.

Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!

If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.

If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?

I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.

Officer: "your eyes look red man have you been smoking weed."

Suspect: "officer your eyes look glazed like you has had doughnuts."

Let's not mess with nature.

We are here to make babies.

So, let's get to it.

Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?

They say sex is a killer...

Do you want to die happy?

Is your name Summer? β€˜Coz you're HOT!

I'll be Burger King and you be McDonald's. I'll have it my way, and you'll be lovin' it.

You're so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line.

Well, here I am! What are your other two wishes?

Do you believe in love at first sight or do i pass by you again.

Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

Its girls like u that cause global warming!

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "U" and "I" together.

You smell like trash..... Can I take you out?

S.I.N.G.L.E...sexy! innocent! naughty! gorgeous! lustful! exciting!

For my next trick I need a condom and a volunteer...

Save your breath... You'll need it to blow up your date.

Anyone have any sex laying around they're not using I could borrow?

Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

I'm sorry I wasn't part of your past, can I make it up by being in your future?

My love for you is like dividing by zero - it cannot be defined.

You're sweeter than 3.14

Are you a keyboard? Because you're my type!

Every function without you will always be void of love.

Gurl, you remind me of a box of chocolates.....(Why?) Cause I want to take your top off.

I've got my ion you, baby!

You're like milk, I want to make you a part of my complete breakfast.

You must be peanut butter because you're making my legs feel like jelly.

Wanna dance? I can really put your inertia in motion.

I don't want your candy, what I really want is your number.

You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb.

Dont stop! I dont usually get to see beauty in motion

Baby you're so cute you made my page 404.

Are you a computer whiz? it seems you know how to turn my software to hardware.

Are you Greek (If No) are you sure cause you look like a goddess to me?

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Love never crossed my mind

Until I came across you.

Self Protection with heavy Flirt :-
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Teacher :- Why are u sleeping in the class ?
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Student :- Your voice is so sweet thats why i am getting sleep .
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Teacher : - Then why other students are not sleeping ?
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Student :- They aren't listening to u mam ...........

A woman in her twenties sees a large black man walking by and decides to flirt with him. So is it true what they say about black guys?

He responds, Sure is. Then he punched her in the face and stole her purse.

How do you flirt with a calligraphist?

Say, "You have pretty I's!"

I was flirting with an Asian girl at a bar last night when I decided to ask for her number.

She replied, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"

I said, "Wow!"

Then her friend said, "She means 6663629".

I was flirting with this teenager on the internet...

...after a while, she tells me she's an undercover cop.

How cool is that for someone her age?

I hate when waitresses flirt with me..

I can't tell if they just want the tip or if they want just the tip.

A woman recently tried to flirt with me using a electric mixer.

She said she was going to whisk me away.

Do you know the way little children run towards the waves of the ocean but back up the very last second?

That's the exact same way I flirt with girls

As a kid, I used to stick my tongue out to flirt with girls. My parents disapproved.

As an adult, the girl's parents disapprove.

Me trying to flirt

Me: hey girl you dropped something
Girl: what?
Me: your standards, hi I'm John

I was flirting with a girl at a party. My friend came over and whispered in my ear.

He said, "What's going on between you two tonight?"

I said, "A condom."

A man writing in his diary:

I am an ideal man. I don't smoke, drink, or go to night clubs. I have always been loyal to my wife and don't flirt with strange women. I sleep at eight o'clock and wake up early. I exercise daily and work regular hours. But all this will change as soon as I get out of prison.

Social anxiety is tough when you're trying to flirt with your ceramics teacher.

I can't help but think I make a bad first impression.

A son asks his dad.

A son asks his dad.

Son: Dad, Can I flirt with neighbour on the right ?

Dad: No, that's your sister.

Son: Then how about the neighbour on the left ?

Dad: No, that's also your sister.

Disappointed son goes to his mother for fact check.

Son: Can I flirt with left, and right neighbour ?

Mom: Sure, why not.

Son: But dad said they're my sisters.

Mom: Okay, but you're not your dad's son.

[shared to me by a friend]

A foreign exchange student from Sweden started classes today.

I thought I'd flirt with her a bit by speaking her language.

She smacked me across the face when I opened with "Bork Bork Bork."

I flirted with a girl online. She mentioned she had a kid...

I told her that was fine by me. Three-ways are always fun

Secret to a happy marriage is to go out for dinner twice a week, to flirt and have fun.

Wife goes on Mondays, I go on Fridays

My teacher tried to flirt with me in class today.

It made me really uncomfortable. She kept saying "You look sexy!" and "wanna have a little fun in bed?"



It's tough being homeschooled.

How church kids flirt

So, you're staying for second service too?

A man meets a foreign girl, they flirt with each other, and end up sleeping with each other.

After the man came, he asked her 'you finish'?

She shook her head.

Dutifully the men got back to work, and after another round of lovemaking he asked her 'you finish?'

The girl shook her head again.

The man barely had any energy left, but continued the lovemaking nonetheless. In the end he collapses on the bed and asks again 'you finish?'

The girl shakes her head and replies 'No, I'm Swedish'.

My IT friend tried to flirt with a waitress and failed miserably

I guess it wasn't the first time he couldn't connect to the server

How do ships flirt online?

They send deck pics.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the flirt chat jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working flirt omg piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes