Flipped Jokes
61 flipped jokes and hilarious flipped puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about flipped that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Flipped Short Jokes
Short flipped jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The flipped humour may include short flips jokes also.
- Today I learned that if you're in a canoe and it flips over in the water.... .....you can safely wear it on your head....because it's capsized.
- The inventor of the USB died. They lowered his coffin, raised it back out, flipped it over, lowered it again, raised it back out, flipped it over again, then lowered him again.
- My teenage daughter can't decide whether she wants to be a hairdresser or a short story writer... I guess she'll have to flip a coin....
Heads or Tales. - My dad once told me that I would spend my life flipping burgers Jokes on him. I'm on register now.
- Did you know that you can fit any boat on your head like a hat, if you flip it over? That makes it cap sized
- When the creator of USB drive will die, they'll lower his coffin into the ground.. ..take it out, flip it over and lower again.
- The debates flipped gender roles. Last night we saw an argument between a woman who wanted to talk facts, and a man who only wanted to talk about his feelings.
- I was angry at my friend and he sarcastically asked "what would Jesus do?" So I flipped over the table and chased him from the building with a whip.
- You know you can fit any boat on your head Just flip it upside down. That makes it capsized
- A man with two left feet goes into a shoe store... ...and asks the shop assistant: "Do you sell flip-flips?"
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Flipped One Liners
Which flipped one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with flipped? I can suggest the ones about overturned and turned upside.
- Yo mama's so fat she went out in high heels and came back in flip flops
- i hope people on September 2nd 1885 were flipping out on Back to the Future Part III day
- What does an indecisive person wear? Flip Flops.
- What does a man with two left feet wear to the beach? Flip-Flips.
- I saw a radical Muslim today... He had just landed a kick-flip into a 50-50 grind.
- What does the man with two left feet ask the shoe salesman? "Do you sell flip-flips?"
- How does the Hulk make extra money? He flips cars.
- Why did the solstice get a job as an acrobat? It wanted to "flip" the season.
- What did the claustrophobic ninja do when he fell down a well? He flipped out
- What did the pigeon say after its friend landed a sick flip? Coo.
- Did you hear about the angry pancake? He just flipped.
- Pickup line: If I flip a coin.... What are the chances of me getting head? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
- What do you call two left sandals? Flip flips
- What do you call it when a deaf person flips you off? A finger of speech!
- Yo mama so fat She left the house in high heels and came back with flip flops
Comedy Flipped Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about flipped you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean swapped jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make flipped pranks.
I was driving down the highway today and saw a woman in the lane next to me reading a novel while driving
I was so angry that I stopped texting and flipped her off
A cowboy rode into a dusty old town...
...and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit of picking on strangers. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar and with a quick move of his hands, he flipped his guns into the air, caught them above his head without even looking and fired at the ceiling. Which one of you cow'rdly sidewinders stole my hoss!?" he yelled. No one answered.
"Alright, I'm gonna have anotha beer, and if my hoss ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna haf'ta do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas!"
Some of the locals shifted restlessly. He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! As he swung up into the saddle and started to ride out of town, the bartender ran out of the saloon and asked, "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I walked home."
Why don't the blondes like football?
A blonde went to the Super Bowl and someone asked her afterwards how she liked it. She said she enjoyed many aspects of the experience, but she didn't understand why all the players were fighting so hard over 25 cents. She was asked what she meant. She said, "Well, before the game, they flipped a quarter and one team started out with it. For the rest of the game, they kept yelling, 'Get the quarter back.' Hellooooo?! It's only 25 cents, people."
Football with a blonde girlfriend
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
LPT Request: My 2 year old son drew in permanent marker all over the walls
So I took a shower earlier today and left my 2 year old son in the living room with the TV on thinking he would be ok. I come out 20 minutes later and he covered the entire living room in green permanent marker that he somehow got a hold of. As you can imagine, I flipped out and immediately ran to the store to buy cleaning supplies. I tried at least five different types, and scrubbed for at least half an hour but the stain was still there. Does anybody have any good methods for getting blood out of the carpet?
I caught my wife cheating with my best friend.
She was upset that I was always beating her, and he was jealous of how much money and property I had.
I was so angry when I caught them that I flipped the game board over and left them to pick up all the pieces.
Turned out the lights
I started walking down the stairs, and I flipped the light switch to off.
It wasn't a bright idea.
I'll see myself out.
What's the difference between a white girl who likes to tan and a burger?
They both need to be flipped every 10 mins, but only one turns pink when its done.
caught my wife of 7 years cheating with my best friend.
I caught my wife of 7 years cheating with my best friend, whom I had known since preschool. I can't believe they'd do this to me.
Listen, I'm not a bad guy. I'll grant you that my wife was upset that I was always beating her, and my best friend? He was simply jealous of how much money and property I had.
At my wit's end, I was so angry that when I caught them, I flipped the game board over and left them to pick up all the pieces.
Four gay guys walk into a bar...
To see only one stool was open.
"Ah not a problem!" The bartender said as he flipped the stool upside down.
What did the owner of the gay bar do when his joint was full and he couldn't seat all of his customers?
He flipped the chairs over.
During wartime, the Philippine flag is flipped upside down so the red part is on top
The same thing is done with the French flag, but instead they remove the red and blue colors
Why was Ten afraid of Eleven?
Because Eleven flipped a truck with her mind.
Why was the bottle laying down?
someone flipped it.
What happened at the f**... of the man who invented the USB?
They lowered his coffin, took it out, flipped it the other way round, then lowered it again.
Genders
I couldn't decide what gender I should be today, so I flipped a coin...
*flips a coin*
Wait a minute, how many sides does a coin have...?
Did you hear about the angry gymnast?
She just flipped.
These new editions of dictionaries are frustrating
Picked up a new copy and flipped through it to find a word I knew disappeared.
The next thing I found was disappointing
My friend and I were betting on a coin.
I asked my friend to give me a heads-up before he flipped it.
Donald Trump pulls out of Paris Climate Arrangement after alleged threats to interfere with the U.S. Mexico border wall.
He heard "Climb-it" deal, and flipped out
I flipped a quarter
I told my girlfriend to call it. She clapped her hands and said, "come here Quarter!"
I ended up with an older woman at the club last night. She looked olay for a 57 year old.
We drank a bit and talked a while and she asked if I had ever had a Sportman's Double
"What's that?" I asked.
"It's a mother and daughter t**...", she said.
I said, "No."
We drank a bit more, then she says tonight's my lucky night.
We went back to her place.
She flipped on the hall light and then shouted upstairs: "Mom, you still awake?"
Last night Philadelphia residents climbed light poles, flipped over cars, and set dumpsters on fire
Then things really got out of hand when they learned the Eagles won the Super Bowl
It's 1/4 funny 😄
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a super bowl game. They had great seats right behind their teams bench.
After the game he asked her how she liked it.
Oh, I really liked it, she replied. I just don't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked,
What do you mean?
Well they flipped a quarter, one team got it, then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was...'get the quarterback!, get the quarterback!' I'm like Hellooooo, it's only 25 cents!
My wife just flipped out at me for not being sympathetic about her time of the month
It was a complete o**... action.
My truck flipped and crashed after I brought on my takeout.
Apparently it was Wonton too heavy.
The person who invented the USB drive is going to be lowered into his grave,
Then lifted back up, flipped over, and played in again.
I scratch it up, and dent it...it gets all kinds of dirty...s**..., I even flipped it one time!
Even still, my car just wants to be PRNDS.
My doctor flipped my o**... around today.
So he called me a nagro donor.
The creator of the USB flash drive died today.
He was lowered into his coffin, flipped over, and then lowered again.
What did Robert Palmer say to the light when he flipped the wrong switch?
I didn't mean to turn you on.
The Detective's Conundrum
The detective walked into the smokey room. His assistant scurried in after. He took in the scene.
A dim light.
A flipped table.
And 53 bicycles laying all around the floor.
"It's apparent what he wrong here," the detective said.
"What is it?" asked the perplexed assistant.
"Someone had an ace up their sleeve."
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
The 40 year old health care worker who cares for newborns started questioning her career choices, then flipped out and left town
I guess she was having a midwife crisis
A mathematician wants more excitement and wants to become a volunteer fireman on the weekends
He goes through the training, and proceeds to take the written final exam.
Question 1: You come across a car that is flipped upside down and on fire with the driver still in it. What do you do?
The mathematician answers with the steps he was taught in training.
Question 2: You come across a car that is flipped upside down with the driver still in it. What do you do?
The mathematician answers, Set the car on fire. Now it is a solved problem.
I caught my girlfriend cheating with my best friend.
She was tired of getting beaten all the time, and he was jealous of all my money and property. I was so upset when I found out, that I flipped the game board over and left them to pick up all the pieces.
Last year a guy took his blonde girl friend to the Superbowl
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the
tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't
understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you
mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was...
'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'
I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"
My wife was joking about her commute to our office in the back yard.
h**... boy this commute is going to be rough today she said as she opened the back door to walk 50 feet to the office
Yeah I heard there's a squirrel flipped over on the tree o five
An old guy was sitting eating at a local truck stop...
when three big, burly bikers walked in. The first stubbed his cigarette out in the old guy's pie, the second walked past and spat in his coffee, and the last flipped the guy's plate over, tipping the rest of his meal everywhere.
The old guy didn't say a word. He just got up and slowly walked out of the truck stop.
"Huh" snorted the first biker. "He wasn't much of a man, was he?"
"Nope" replied their server. "He's not much of a truck driver either. He just backed up and crushed 3 motorcycles with his rig."
A Zen novice called for an electrician.
Upon arrival at the monk's apartment, the electrician asked how he could be of assistance.
"I'm having trouble with this brand-new lamp that I just bought," the novice said. "I've tested the outlet, I've flipped every switch, and I still can't get it to work."
The electrician examined the lamp, then nodded his head. "Well, this lamp has a built-in clapper, see?"
"'Clapper?'" the novice repeated.
The electrician nodded again, then clapped his hands... and the novice was enlightened.
A magic coin
I have a magic coin that whenever flipped lands on its side.
I can't make heads nor tails of it.
