Flight Jokes

179 flight jokes and hilarious flight puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about flight that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for something to make you smile while you pass the time during a flight delay? Check out this collection of funny flight jokes sure to entertain any airplane enthusiast. Whether you're a flight attendant, instructor, or just someone who loves aircraft takeoffs and turbulence, there's something here for everyone! Get ready for some aviation-inspired amusement - Flight Jokes await!

Quick Jump To

Funniest Flight Short Jokes

Short flight jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The flight humour may include short plane jokes also.

  1. My seatmate on a flight was a woman. Ever the charmer, I asked, Does the airline charge you extra for sitting next to good-looking men?
    Yes, she said, but I wasn't willing to pay.
  2. What did the kamikaze flight instructor tell his students? I'm only gonna show you this once
  3. When I become a lawyer I want to defend a penguin. Just so I can say the words Your Honor, clearly my client is not a flight risk.
  4. I don't know why so many people thought Cats was a bad movie. They played it on my flight home and there were only two walkouts.
  5. Things that will get you kicked off an United Airlines flight: 1)Wearing leggings
    2)Having an United Airlines ticket
    -Dan Regan
  6. My girlfriend told me she was pregnant, so I started looking for some names... the end I chose Juan Carlos and took the first flight to Spain.
  7. A flight attendant asks a man: -Sir, do you want something to drink?
    -What are my options?
    -Yes and No
  8. How do you milk a sheep? Sell headphone for $549.
  9. Longest Drum Solo The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 25 minutes and it was performed by a child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.
  10. It's a shame Carrie Fisher was on a United Airlines flight when she had her heart attack. If she was on another airline there might have been a doctor on board.

Share These Flight Jokes With Friends

Flight One Liners

Which flight one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with flight? I can suggest the ones about travel and flown.

  1. I threw an Asian man down a flight of stairs. It was wong on so many levels
  2. It was going to cost me $700 to put down my dog So I booked a United flight instead
  3. United should rebrand to Adrenaline... Since they promote "fight or flight".
  4. What did the football player say to the flight attendant? Put me in coach.
  5. How do ghosts make friends? By buttering a flight of stairs.
  6. Anyone want 2 free tickets to a fight? I've got seats 29A & B on United flight 1807.
  7. They won't admit the Egypt flight crashed... ...because they're all in *da nile.*
  8. How to start ascending a flight of stairs: Step one...
  9. All flights from John Lennon Airport are cancelled. Imagine all the people.
  10. I got sick waiting to board my flight It was a terminal illness
  11. I can confidently run up 6 flights of stairs. But 7 Flights? That's another story.
  12. A pilot passed through a rainbow on his flight test. He passed with flying colors.
  13. All flights to John Lennon Airport have been cancelled Imagine all the people...
  14. What did the vulture bring on his flight? Carrion luggage.
  15. Just got off a 15 hour flight from Chernobyl and boy are these arms legs.

Flight Attendant Jokes

Here is a list of funny flight attendant jokes and even better flight attendant puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A flight attendant says to a man... "Would you like headphones?"
    The man replies, "How did you know my name was Phones?"
  • A flight attendant asked me if I wanted a drink. Me: what are the options?
    Her: yes or no
  • I got cursed out by a flight attendant for asking to be moved away from a screaming baby Apparently they don't like that if it's your baby.
  • A man boards a plane. An attractive flight attendant walks towards the man and asks: "Would you like some headphones?"
    The man replies: "Yes, but how did you know my name was Phones?"
  • It was mealtime on an airplane... ...and the flight attendant asked a passenger if he would like some dinner.
    "What are my choices?" he asked.
    "Yes or no," she replied.
  • Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
  • A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead rabbits. And the flight attendant says "Sorry sir, only one carrion per passenger."
  • A vulture carried two dead raccoons onto an airplane. The flight attendant looked at him and said, "Sorry sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
  • A man brought a dead animal onto a plane... When the flight attendant asked what he was doing, he simply replied, "It's my carrion luggage!"
  • I've asked a flight attendant to change my seat because of crying baby next to me It turns out you can't do that if baby is yours.

Airlines Flight Jokes

Here is a list of funny airlines flight jokes and even better airlines flight puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Finally some good news for the passengers of Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370. Their luggage has landed safely in Manchester.
  • I was sitting next to a woman on a flight and asked her... >Does the airline company charge you for flying next to good looking men?
    She responded with
    >Yes, but this time I decided not to pay
  • Unites Airlines newest in-flight cuisine Chinese Takeout
  • Why wouldn't the airline allow the vulture board his flight? The airline wouldn't let him check his carrion
  • The world record for a drum solo is 10 hours and 17 minutes. It's held by the kid who sat behind me on American Airlines flight 86 from DFW to Paris.
  • At the low cost airliner Flight attendant: would you like a drink?
    Passenger: what are the options?
    Flight attendant: yes or no
  • How long is the flight? A Polish man calls up an airline.
    "How long is the flight from Chicago to Warsaw?"
    "One minute..."
    "Thank you." *click*
  • Here's a pun: Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 I'm sorry, that joke probably didn't land.
  • What did Dr. Dao's head doctor tell him after he got kicked off the United flight? You have an airline fracture
  • What item can get you thrown off of a United Airlines flight? A Ticket
Flight joke, What item can get you thrown off of a United Airlines flight?

Flight Passenger Jokes

Here is a list of funny flight passenger jokes and even better flight passenger puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Flight attendant - Can I offer you some free head phones? Passenger - yeah sure but first tell me how did you know my name is Phones?
  • A flight attendant walks up to a passenger and says, "Excuse me, would you like some headphones?" Passenger smiles and replies, "How'd you know my name was Phones"?
  • Flight attendant: could I offer you some free headphones? Passenger: Yes please but how did you know my name was Phones?
  • A massive rabbit aboard a United Airlines flight turns to the passenger sitting next to him and says "Ehhh, what's up Doc?"
  • I'm pretty sure the list of passengers to be ejected from that United Airlines flight was... ...doctored.
  • Did you hear about the passenger eating peanuts on his United flight? They were assaulted.
  • Why did the crew of a Southwest flight turn off the No Smoking sign? They figured that if the plane is smoking, the passengers might as well, too.
  • Ahmad, Bilal and Hamza, the flight attendants, helped the passengers out of the plane. 10 minutes later, the plane landed.
  • Flight attendant to me, the passenger: Would you like headphones? "Sure!" I said, "but how did you know my name was Phones?"
  • Flight attendant: "Are you going to be having dinner tonight?" Passenger: "What are my choices?" Yes or No!

Pilot Flight Attendant Jokes

Here is a list of funny pilot flight attendant jokes and even better pilot flight attendant puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call it when a flight attendant gets pregnant? Pilot error.
  • My wife's an aspiring actor, and things most be going really well! On her last flight to LA (she's a flight attendant) she told me she did multiple pilots!
  • I'm glad that flight attendants are never obese. So pilots have only one option for a soft landing.

Flight Delay Jokes

Here is a list of funny flight delay jokes and even better flight delay puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • So Darwin comes across a sad penguin in an airport.... He goes up to the penguin and asks, "Why so angry, you cute little fella?"
    The penguin looks up to him and says "flight's delayed."
  • Why are flights with crows often delayed? Because they bring a lot of extra carrion luggage.
  • What's the fastest way to heaven? It depends on the flight delays.
Flight joke, What's the fastest way to heaven?

Ridiculous Flight Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about flight you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean landing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make flight pranks.

A m**... was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US.

After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the m**... if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely r**... by a dozen w**... than let liquor touch my lips."
The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."

So the pope is SUPER EARLY for his flight

He asks his driver on his way to the airport if he could drive around for a while because they have time to kill and he hasn't driven a car since becoming the pope.
Naturally, he's a bit rusty, so he's driving poorly, when suddenly he sees police lights behind him. He pulls over and when the officer comes up to the window his eyes go wide. He says to the pope "Hold on for a minute," and goes back to his car to radio the chief.
Cop: "Chief we have a situation. I've pulled over an important figure."
Chief: "How important? A governor or something?"
Cop: "No sir. He's bigger."
Chief: "So, what? a celebrity or something?"
Cop: "More important, sir."
Chief: "A major politician?"
Cop: "No sir, he's much more important."
Chief: "WELL WHO IS IT!?"
Cop: "Well actually I'm not sure. But the pope's his driver."

A young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, 'Father,may I ask a favor?'

'Of course child. What can I do for you?'
'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electric hair dryer for my Mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for
me? Under your robes perhaps?
'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.'
'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her..
The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'
'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.'
The official thought this answer strange, so he asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'
'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'
Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next!

I sat next to baby on a ten hour flight. I didn't think it was possible for someone to cry for ten hours straight.

Even the baby was impressed I pulled it off.

Ticket Please

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, instead he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

So there is a mother and her daughter sitting on the plane.

They haven't taken off yet and are still on the runway. The daughter, who is pretty young, say four or five, looks out the window and gets to thinking....
"Mommy. If big dogs have puppies and big cats have kittens, then shouldn't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"
And the mom, she's hungover and jet lagged.
"aw, baby, just go ask the stewardess"
So the daughter gets up to ask the flight attendant.
"Hey stewardess lady, if big dogs have puppies and big cats have kittens then shouldn't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"
And the stewardss says "did your mother tell you to come ask me this?" The girl nods.
"well, you see, sweetheart, this is JetBlue. And we always pull out on time. That's why there's no baby airplanes. Go ask your mom about that."

A Baptist preacher sits next to a cowboy on a flight...

After the plane took off, the cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the preacher if he would like a drink.
Appalled, the preacher replied, "I'd rather be t**... and taken advantage of by women of ill-repute, than let liquor touch my lips."
The cowboy then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."

One of my personal favorites (Thanks Good Will Hunting)

So I'm on a plane flying from New York to LA and the pilot gives his "now free to move about the cabin" message, only he forgets to turn off the mic, so the entire plane hears him when he turns to the copilot and says "Man I could really use a coffee and a b**...." The flight attendant runs to the cockpit to tell the pilot the mic was on, so I yell out "Hey honey, don't forget the coffee!"

A Priest and a Jamaican man are on a plane...

..and as they're taking off, the pilot says over the intercom "folks, I have something to tell you. I cannot fly the plane if someone passes gas; if someone does, I'll pass out and the plane will c**...."
So halfway through the flight, the plane noses forward and goes into a dive. And the Jamaican stands up and screams "Who passed de gas?"
The priest says "how did you know?"
And the Jamaican answers "de scent!"
...I'll show myself out

My flight instructor told me this one. Nothing to do with flying.

A man's wife is staring at herself in the mirror and frowning. She turns to her husband and says "Honey, I feel fat, old, and ugly. I could really use a compliment right now." To which the husband replies "Darling, your eyesight is impeccable."

A naughty child

A naughty child was irritating all the passengers on the flight from London to New York.
At last one man could stand it no longer.
"Hey kid," he shouted.
"Why don't you go outside and play?"

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an Italian are all on a plane.

All three are heading to China for 2 months for a business trip. The Frenchman and the Englishman start talking about the night before:
Englishman: "I'll have you know I made love to my wife 3 times and this morning she told me she adored me"
Frenchman: "Ha ha! That is very good my friend, however, I believe I have you beat; last night I made love to my wife 6 times and this morning she told me should would never love anyone else!"
The Englishman congratulates the Frenchman and then they look over at the Italian who hasn't said anything the whole flight.
Englishman: "How many times did you make love to your wife last night?"
Italian: "Once"
Frenchman: "Once? What did she say in the morning?"
Italian: "Don't stop"

What is the biggest key when moving a piano up a flight of stairs?

Be sharp or Be flat.

May I have a piece of gum?

Two gay guys are in a large passenger plane flying across the Pacific. In the middle of the flight, one turns and tells his partner: "Let's have s**.... Right here and now." His partner says: "Are you crazy? In front of all these people?" The first gay guy says: "Don't worry. They're all asleep. Here, see for yourself." He leans out into the aisle and yells: "Excuse me, can anybody let me have a piece of gum?" There's no answer or any kind of interest. His partner is convinced and they have s**... right then and there.
The plane lands and as the passengers are disembarking there is a stewardess by the exit asking everyone if they had a good flight. One man says, "The flight was fine but I have a horrible headache". The stewardess says: "Oh you poor thing, why didn't you ask for some aspirin?" And the man says: "Are you kidding? I saw what happened to that poor guy who asked for a piece of gum."

Airplane Business

Hey man, how's your flight company going?
You know, I think it's really taken off.

Three men and a parachute

So, a norwegian, a danish and a swedish person are on a private flight. Suddenly, the pilot turns on the speaker and says:
"The plane is malfunctioning and is going to c**.... There's three parachutes, and I'm going to take one. You're going to have to figure out who doesn't get one".
He then proceeds to jump out of the plane.
The three men panic, but the norwegian tells the others to calm down and then says to the swedish person: "Here. You take one, we'll figure out who gets the last one." And the swedish jumps.
The norwegian then turns to the danish person and says: "Let's grab the chutes and get out of this thing."
The danish says, very confused:" But you just gave the second to last parachute to that swedish guy? There's only one left now."
To which the norwegian replies: "Relax man, I gave him my backpack."

I'm sorry, you can't check your disobedient child on this flight.

Guess you'll have to carry on your wayward son

A Moment of Silence

Let's all spare a few moments of silence for the man who told his wife he was going to China on that Malaysian flight no MH. 370 and now can't come out of his girlfriend's flat.

The Only Malaysian Airlines Survivor

Please spare a thought and your sympathy for the man who told his wife he was going to China on Malaysian Airlines flight MH370...
And now can't come out of his girlfriend's apartment.

Flight attendant landed this one on us yesterday

We just landed on the runway and the flight attendant annouces a message over the speaker.
"Hey yea sorry about that rough landing...
...wasn't the captains fault,
...definitely wasn't my fault, was the asphalt."
The result: a perfect mix of laughs and groans.

Some people are like Slinkies...

Some people are like Slinkies.
Not really good for anything, but they can still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

What do you call it when Condoleezza Rice pushes a stuck-up criminal down a flight of stairs?

Conde sending condescending con descending.

What do you call a s**... criminal walking down a flight of stairs?

A condescending con descending

The first rule of flight club is..

..turn the airplane on. & you should probably learn how to read.

Henry Winkler on a plane

Henry Winkler is a passenger on a plane and the flight attendant asks him, "Would you like some headphones?"
He replies, "Yes, that would be very nice, but it's pronounced 'Fonz'."

Why wouldn't the airline allow the vulture to board his flight?

#Because of the horrible stench coming from his carrion luggage.
*I deserve any and all insulting comments I will get for this joke, I make no excuses for myself and should probably be ashamed.*

A Man to a lady sitting next to him in flight.

Man: "Which perfume do you use ? It smells good. I want to buy one for my wife."
Lady: "Please don't. Some idiot will have an excuse to talk to her."

What do you get when you throw a Canadian down a flight of stairs?

An apology.

I once saw an Arab on a flight....

I was kinda shocked when I saw him and looked on him with suspicion. Then he understood what I was thinking and approaching me, he said, "Not all Muslims are terrorists" and we laughed so hard that his grenades fell out of his pocket.

A blonde boards a plane to Miami...

A blonde boards a plane to Miami and takes a seat in first class even though she has an economy ticket. A flight attendant tells her several times to move to economy class, but the blonde doesn't listen. Exasperated, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit. Seconds later the pilot steps out and whispers something in the blonde's ear. Immediately, she gets up from her seat and goes to economy class. Intrigued, the flight attendant asks the pilot how he managed to convince her to relinquish her seat.
"Easy" says the pilot, "I told her first class doesn't go to Miami"

A flight from Dublin to Boston

Shortly after I took off on an Aer Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston a few weeks ago, the air hostess nervously announced that the catering department had made a terrible mistake. A big mix up she said. Although 226 passengers were on board they received only 80 dinners. She apologised, but said that anybody kind enough to give up their meal would receive unlimited free drinks for the remainder of the flight. The next announcement came 2 hours later when she said, "If anybody is hungry, we still have 80 dinners available".

A group of engineering proffesors got in a plane...

Before closing the doors, the flight attendants told them that the plane had been built by their own students. Scared, all of the teachers ran out of the plane, except one. The pilot came to him and asked him why he was so relaxed. The proffesor said "I know my students very well. And I'm sure that if this plane is really built by them, the thing won't even start!"

We must follow our policy. . .

I was at the airport the other day to pick someone up but their flight was delayed so I wandered around a bit. I noticed a big scene at one of the airline check ins. there was this agitated vulture holding a couple of dead possums arguing loudly with a whole group of ticket agents. I kinda felt bad for the guy but the airline did have a one carrion policy.

An airline employee makes the final boarding call for a flight.

After she finished the announcement, she spots a man running down the concourse towards the gate. He runs through the boarding area, hurdles a row of empty chairs, and stops at the podium, almost out of breath.
"You just made it!" she says. "Do you have your boarding pass?"
"Oh, this isn't my flight," the man says. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm vegan."

A rabbi and a priest...

take a group of kids on a spiritual trip to the Holy Land. During the flight, the pilot announces,
" The plane is going down, we only have two parachutes. I'm taking one. You guys figure out who gets the other one"
The priest says, " We should give it to one of the kids."
The rabbi grabs the c**... and says, " I have a life to live! F*c**... the kids! "
The priest thinks, and says,
"Do you think we have time?? "

I sleep better n**...

Why can't this flight attendant understand that?

A mathematician is afraid of flying

A mathematician is afraid of flying due to the small risk of a t**... attack. So, on every flight he takes a bomb with his hand luggage. "The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low", he reason, "and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero."

I accidentally dropped my phone from a 20-story building.

It's a good thing I had it on Flight Mode.

A kid boards a flight for the first time in his life

Kid: What kind of flight is this mom?
Mom: Boeing
Kid: I'm boarding a Boeing, Boeing, Boeing, Boeing
Mom: Be silent you idiot
Kid: I'm oarding an oeing, oeing, oeing, oeing
P.S: Based on a true incident

A flight attendant sees a suspicious couple on board...

She decides to report it to the pilot immediately.
"Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! The female passenger looks pretty frightened and the man she is with looks dangerous!"
The pilot responds, "Patricia, I've told you before. This is Air Force One..."

On my way for the latest Porsche presentation..

the airport officials requested the purpose of my flight.
I wrote down "I'm here for the newest 911".
Best regards from Guantanamo.

s**... Statistics on a Plane.

A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be
seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They
exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about s**... statistics. He asks her about it and she replies,
"This is a very interesting book about s**... statistics.
It identifies that American Indians have the longest
average p**... and Polish men have the biggest average
diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?"
He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."

A smug prisoner went down a flight of stairs.

He was a condescending con descending.

Being on a United Airlines flight is like smoking w**....

You take a hit, then a long drag and soon you wake up not knowing where you are.

*year 2020* Nurse: Sir, you've been in a coma since 2017

Patient: I thought I was on a United flight.
Nurse: You were but you were volunteered to get off.

Flight back home

Guy was boarding a plane to go back home from a business trip.
As he was boarding another passenger asks him: "our flight looks full what do you think they will do??"
The Asian man flying back home says "beats me"

An Irishman and a Muslim are sat next to each other on a flight...

An Irishman and a Muslim are sat next to each other on a flight.
The stewardess comes up and asks the Irish man if he'd like a drink. He orders a whiskey and the stewardess hands it to him.
The stewardess then asks the Muslim if he'd like a drink. "I'd rather be r**... by a dozen w**...!" he shouts back.
The Irishman calmly hands his whiskey back to the stewardess and says "I'll have what he's having".

Wake up!

Following a serious argument couple decide not to talk to each other for a while.
Next night husband leaves a note on the kitchen desk: Wake me up at 6 in the morning, I have a flight.
When he wakes up at 8, panics and as he rushes to dressing room, sees a note at the bedside table: Wake up, it is 6!

Two pilots are sitting in the cockpit, talking, when they realize they are flying over a huge crater.

"Wow, what a beautiful sight," says the first pilot.
"It is, isn't it?" the other pilot replies.
Then a flight attended joins them.
"Sir, what are we flying over?" she asks the first pilot.
"It's a crater. A meteor crashed into the earth and left that giant hole."
"Wow," replies the flight attendant. "And what's that building right next to it?"
"That's the visitors center," the second pilot says.
"Phew," she says. "They really got lucky, didn't they?"

I was on a cross country flight and the stewardess asked me if I wanted any headphones?

I said, "sure, and how did you know my name was Phones?"

The President of Brazil, France and United States share a flight around the world

The United state president puts his hands out of the windows and says:
"We are in the US! I just touched the Statue of Liberty"
Some time passes, the French president puts his hands out and says out loud:
"Now we are in France. I just touched the Eiffel tower".
After a while the Brazilian president also puts his hands out of the Airplane and says:
"Yes, we finally are in Brazil. I just had my watch stolen"

My kid was boarding the wrong flight when he asked me, "What's another name for onboard luggage?"

I said, "Carry-on, my wayward son."

A mother and her son are sitting in an airplane.

The kid looks up and asks, "Mommy? If big cats have little cats, and big dogs have little dogs, why don't big airplanes have little airplanes?"
Mom thinks to herself that he is too young and she doesn't want to get into this so she tells the boy, "Go ask the flight attendant; maybe she can answer that for you."
So, he walks up and asks, "Ma'am, if big cats have little cats, and big dogs have little dogs, why don't big airplanes have little airplanes?"
She had overheard the mother's attempt to pass this off and replies, "Tell your mom that I said it's because Southwest airlines always pulls out on time and have her explain that to you..."

A joke my grandfather told me as a kid.

After the passengers loaded on, the plane flew out of the airport. As they were getting airborn, an announcement came over the speakers: "Welcome to the first fully-automated flight. There are no pilots operating this plane, it's being operated entirely by a computer. Rest assured that rigorous testing has been run to ensure that the trip will be completely safe. Nothing can go wrong.
Nothing can go wrong.
Nothing can go wrong.
Nothing can go wrong..."

Santas reindeer get lost on a flight one night and don't return to the pole. After being missing for weeks, they are found, the only survivor being Donner. When asked how he survived, he replied:

"They don't call me Donner for nothin'"

A plane takes off with two hours delay. Once in the air a passenger asks the flight attendant:

"why did we take off so late?"
To which the flight attendant replies:
"well the pilot noticed some smoke and weird noises coming from the left engine and it took us a while to find another pilot willing to fly this plane."

How many prison guards does it take to throw an inmate down a flight of stairs?

None, he fell.

I gave a man a flight ticket and he flew for a day.

My friend pushed a man off a plane and he flew for the rest of his life.

A mathematician is afraid of flying due to small risk of a t**... attack. So, on every flight he takes a bomb with him in his hand luggage.

The probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero!

So there were 4 people on a private jet

Oprah Winfrey, Donald trump, Barack obama, and this little girl.
In the middle of there flight, the engine shuts down and and there going to c**....
So Oprah Winfrey says the world needs me and grabs a parachute and jumps off.
Then Donald trump grabs a parachute and jumps off without saying anything.
Then there's only one parachute left.
Barack Obama says to the girl, little girl, you are the future to our country, you take the last parachute.
Then the little girl says actually there's two left.
Barack Obama says how ?
Then the little girl says because trump just took my school backpack.

Flight joke, So there were 4 people on a private jet

jokes about flight