Flexible Jokes
61 flexible jokes and hilarious flexible puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about flexible that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Learn how to make flexible jokes about anything - from jobs to personal experiences and beyond - with this useful guide from a knowledgeable instructor. Find out how to be flexible and not be too rigid in your punch line delivery to get the best laughs and reactions.
Funniest Flexible Short Jokes
Short flexible jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The flexible humour may include short sensitive jokes also.
- I just signed up for a yoga class.... "How flexible are you" asked the instructor
I said "I can't do Tuesdays" - I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."
- I was attempting to get in contact with a contortionist for an interview earlier today. Fortunately, she was very flexible.
- I was going to make a pun about flexibility I decided not to because it was too much of a stretch.
- I was quite flexible and fast when I was younger. The kids at school used to call me Spider-Man. Because my uncle was murdered
- What extends flexibly from the hips, is 71 cm long in men, and has the letters P, E, N, I, and S? A spine
- I've got a part time job making rubberised computer keyboards. They offer flexible shifts.
- It's been 10 years since I quit bitting my nails. Once I hit my mid twenties I was no longer flexible enough to reach my toes.
- So I was applying for a job and one requirement was to be flexible I have spinal fusion, guess not.
- A guidance counselor once told me that I would come into my own some day. I've been trying for years, but I'm just not flexible enough.
Share These Flexible Jokes With Friends
Flexible One Liners
Which flexible one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with flexible? I can suggest the ones about fragile and reliable.
- Why is it easy to arrange for private yoga classes with a teacher? They are flexible.
- My yoga instructor said I could start her class at 3pm or 4pm. She was very flexible.
- Which kind of car is most flexible? Mercedes bends.
- When should contortionists get together for coffee? It doesn't matter, they're flexible.
- Job Advertisment: Small black man for mudflap. Must be flexible and willing to travel.
- I don't wanna blow my own horn.... But I am really flexible
- I went to a flexibility class that teaches you how to go up and down. It's yoyoga
- What do you call a very flexible grizzly bear? Yoga Bear.
- Gymnastics Teacher Needed To Work Sat-Wed. Must be flexible.
- Gymnastics instructor required! Flexible hours
- I used to prefer flexible curves to draw quadratic graphs... Now I prefer french curves.
- With a more flexible body comes more Independence
- What is the most flexible luxury car? Mercedes bendsz
- "I can teach you to do the splits if you're flexible." "Other than Tuesdays I'm free."
- I figured out why men are less flexible... So they don't blow themselves
Flexible Working Jokes
Here is a list of funny flexible working jokes and even better flexible working puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- You have to be flexible to work here. On many occasions, you'll be asked to bend over and grab your ankles.
Howlingly Hilarious Flexible Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about flexible you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean affordable jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make flexible pranks.
Women are Angels.
And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...
On a broomstick.
We're flexible like that.
You have to admit, Apple is being treated unfairly after the recent news about the iPhone 6+...
They merely wanted to provide a phone with the flexibility their customers demanded. It's clear that Apple bends over backwards for their fans, and they wanted to build a flagship phone which does so, too.
You could say that the iPhone 6+ is ... ahead of the curve.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend's extremely flexible, which comes in handy during s**...
I say, "when do you wanna have s**...?" and she replies "I'm free whenever".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Looking for a flexible babysitter.
My girlfriend only does m**....
Starcraft / WII parallels
I thought this joke up after our history exam; I thought I'd share it:
The three Starcraft factions have parallels to the three major combatants in WII.
The Protoss are like Germany, since both had advanced technology for the time (Tiger tanks, Void Rays) but were somewhat outnumbered.
The Terrans are like the USA, since they have good manufacturing flexibility, and were able to field large numbers of mechanical units as well as marines.
And the Russians are like the Zerg, because, well, they're rushin'.
What do you call an incredibly flexible chicken with an alien wristwatch?
Bent Hen.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So today I met a contorsionist p**......
And I asked her: "when can we have s**...?"
She answered: "whenever you want, I'm flexible"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Met a contortionist, said, "When you wanna get s**...?"
She said, "However I fit in your schedule. I'm flexible."
What is pink, long , thin and flexible?
A pink thread
What is black , long , thin and flexible?
Shadow of pink thread
What is white , long, thin and flexible?
Ghost of pink thread
Asked a yoga instructor to teach me how to do the splits, he asked me how flexible I was.
"I can't make Tuesdays."
I was thinking of doing yoga
So I rang the local leisure centre and they asked me "are you flexible?"
I said "yes I can do anytime except for Tuesday's"
I love the flexibility of my homeless girlfriend
I can literally drop her off anywhere I want after a date
I was confused as to why my interviewer gave me a blank stare when I told her my best quality was my flexibility..
I guess she's never seen a man put both his legs behind his head before.
What do you get when you have a contortionist applying for a job as a timekeeper?
Someone who can be flexible with their hours.
I joined a Karate class and told the Sensei I wanted to learn how to do roundhouse kicks.
He asked me how flexible I was and I replied I can't train on Wednesday and Fridays.
Little Johnny is in class and his teacher is teaching about description. She reaches into a bag and feels around. She says "Sally, what I'm feeling something round and firm, what is it?"
Sally says "a ball" and teacher says "nope it's an orange". The teacher then reaches in and goes " what I'm feeling is smooth and flat and flexible, David, what is it?"David says"a piece of paper?" "No" goes the teacher "a piece of aluminum foil" Johnny stands up, reaches into his pocket and goes" teacher! I'm feeling something long hard with a firm pink tip, what am I feeling?" Teacher shouts"JOHNNY THAT'S DISGUSTING!" Johnny says" nope it's a pencil"
What's a Pirate's favorite programming language?
Python.
It's really readable and flexible, and has great scientific packages, so most people are pretty fond of it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My history teacher told us that if a nuclear bomb was closely approaching, being flexible would be very helpful.
It's so that you can bend your body and kiss your a**... goodbye.
Buddy bought Superbowl tickets
A good buddy of mine has 2 Super Bowl tickets, 40 yard line box seats 20 rows up. He paid $4,500 each but he didn't realize when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. Probably because of the extra game this year.
If you're interested, he's looking for someone to take his place...It's at Calvary church in San Clemente at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, very flexible and a decent cook too.
She'll be in the white dress.
Russians are very flexible, and are world-class ballerinas, figure skaters, and gymnasts
They use their flexibility in other ways, too! It's the only country where there are regularly suicides with bullets to the *back* of the head.
