Flexible Jokes

61 flexible jokes and hilarious flexible puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about flexible that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Learn how to make flexible jokes about anything - from jobs to personal experiences and beyond - with this useful guide from a knowledgeable instructor. Find out how to be flexible and not be too rigid in your punch line delivery to get the best laughs and reactions.

Funniest Flexible Short Jokes

Short flexible jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The flexible humour may include short sensitive jokes also.

  1. I just signed up for a yoga class.... "How flexible are you" asked the instructor
    I said "I can't do Tuesdays"
  2. I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."
  3. Doing the splits I told my yoga instructor I wanted to be able to do the splits. She asked how flexible I was. I told her I couldn't come on Tuesdays.
  4. I said to my personal trainer, Can you teach me how to do the splits? He replied, How flexible are you? I said I can't do Tuesdays.
  5. I said to the gym teacher: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?'
    I said: 'I can't make Tuesdays.'
  6. I said to my gym instructor "can you teach me how to do the splits?" He said "how flexible are you?" I said "well I can't make Tuesdays".
  7. I went to the gym the other day... ...I asked the instructor could he teach me to do the splits.
    How flexible are you? He asked.
    I can't do Tuesdays.
  8. I rang a gym yesterday and asked them if they could teach me to do the splits "How flexible are you?" they asked
    "Well I can't do Tuesday's"
  9. I called up the gym and asked them if they can teach me how to do the splits. They said, "How flexible are you?"
    "Well, I can't do Tuesdays or Thursdays."
  10. Told my yoga instructor to teach me the splits She asked "how flexible are you"
    I said "Weekdays are out of the question"

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Flexible One Liners

Which flexible one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with flexible? I can suggest the ones about fragile and reliable.

  1. Why is it easy to arrange for private yoga classes with a teacher? They are flexible.
  2. My yoga instructor said I could start her class at 3pm or 4pm. She was very flexible.
  3. Which kind of car is most flexible? Mercedes bends.
  4. When should contortionists get together for coffee? It doesn't matter, they're flexible.
  5. Job Advertisment: Small black man for mudflap. Must be flexible and willing to travel.
  6. I don't wanna blow my own horn.... But I am really flexible
  7. I went to a flexibility class that teaches you how to go up and down. It's yoyoga
  8. What's the most flexible type of music group? An elastic band.
  9. my yoga teacher asked me how flexible I was I told her I couldn't do Monday's.
  10. What do you call a bear who is athletically flexible? Yogi
  11. What do you call a very flexible grizzly bear? Yoga Bear.
  12. Gymnastics Teacher Needed To Work Sat-Wed. Must be flexible.
  13. Im gay Ha u thot. Im straighter than a flexible ruler!
  14. Gymnastics instructor required! Flexible hours
  15. I used to prefer flexible curves to draw quadratic graphs... Now I prefer french curves.

Flexible Working Jokes

Here is a list of funny flexible working jokes and even better flexible working puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • You have to be flexible to work here. On many occasions, you'll be asked to bend over and grab your ankles.
Flexible joke

Howlingly Hilarious Flexible Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy

What funny jokes about flexible you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean affordable jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make flexible pranks.

So I went to ask about some yoga classes in my neighbourhood as it's my first time. The instructor asked me if I was flexible...

... I said "I can't do Tuesdays."

You have to admit, Apple is being treated unfairly after the recent news about the iPhone 6+...

They merely wanted to provide a phone with the flexibility their customers demanded. It's clear that Apple bends over backwards for their fans, and they wanted to build a flagship phone which does so, too.
You could say that the iPhone 6+ is ... ahead of the curve.

My fitness instructor asked me how flexible I was...

So I told him I can't do Tuesdays or Thursdays.

Looking for a flexible babysitter.

My girlfriend only does m**....

So I asked my trainer to teach me to do the splits...

'How flexible are you?' He asks.
'Well, I can't do Tuesdays'

A guidance counselor once told me that I would come into my own some day.

I've been trying for years, but I'm just not flexible enough.

I rang the gym about joining their yoga class.

They asked: *"how flexible are you?"*
I said *"I can't make Wednesdays or Thursdays"*.

I wanted to take up yoga.

I contacted a yoga instructor and told him I wanted to be able to do the splits. He said "what's your flexibility like?" I said "I can't do Tuesdays".

I went to the gym and asked the guy there to teach me how to do the splits.....

He said 'how flexible are you?'
I said 'I can't do Thursdays.'

I was going to make a pun about flexibility

I decided not to because it was too much of a stretch.

I've got a part time job making rubberised computer keyboards.

They offer flexible shifts.

So I was applying for a job and one requirement was to be flexible

I have spinal fusion, guess not.

I used to be flexible back in highschool. In fact all my friends called me Spider-man...

mainly because my uncle was murdered.

I was confused as to why my interviewer gave me a blank stare when I told her my best quality was my flexibility..

I guess she's never seen a man put both his legs behind his head before.

I was quite flexible and fast when I was younger. The kids at school used to call me Spider-Man.

Because my uncle was murdered

I asked my gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits.

He said 'how flexible are you?'
I said 'I can't make Wednesdays.'

It's been 10 years since I quit bitting my nails.

Once I hit my mid twenties I was no longer flexible enough to reach my toes.

I recently took up yoga, and the instructor asked me how flexible I am...

I said 'I can only do Tuesdays'

My history teacher told us that if a nuclear bomb was closely approaching, being flexible would be very helpful.

It's so that you can bend your body and kiss your a**... goodbye.

I don't like Muslin Afghans and think people should stone them.

A good stonewash can make muslin fabric softer and more flexible which is better suited for afghans and blankets in general, otherwise just go with a soft acrylic yarn.

What extends flexibly from the hips, is 71 cm long in men, and has the letters P, E, N, I, and S?

A spine

Buddy bought Superbowl tickets

A good buddy of mine has 2 Super Bowl tickets, 40 yard line box seats 20 rows up. He paid $4,500 each but he didn't realize when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. Probably because of the extra game this year.
If you're interested, he's looking for someone to take his place...It's at Calvary church in San Clemente at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, very flexible and a decent cook too.
She'll be in the white dress.

Russians are very flexible, and are world-class ballerinas, figure skaters, and gymnasts

They use their flexibility in other ways, too! It's the only country where there are regularly suicides with bullets to the *back* of the head.

I said to my gym teacher

How often would I have to come in here to learn to do the splits. He said it depends how flexible are you? I said well I can't do mondays.

p**... and m**... are heading down to the pub...

...when they see a sign in a shop window
> Great Pay
> Flexible Hours
> No Experience Necessary
p**... turns to m**... and says "What do you reckon?"
m**... replies "It's a shame there's only two of us"

I was attempting to get in contact with a contortionist for an interview earlier today.

Fortunately, she was very flexible.

I asked a gym instructor if he could teach me how to do the splits

He said, how flexible are you?
So I told him I couldn't make Tuesdays

Flexible joke, I asked a gym instructor if he could teach me how to do the splits

jokes about flexible