Fleet Jokes

25 fleet jokes and hilarious fleet puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fleet that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

If you're looking for a good laugh related to anything "fleet-related," you're in the right place! Check out these funny Greta Van Fleet jokes, historical first fleet jokes, and assorted Scandinavian cruiser jokes gathered from around the web. Find out which unlucky cruiser sunk!

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Funniest Fleet Short Jokes

Short fleet jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fleet humour may include short ship jokes also.

  1. They say money doesn't buy happiness but money could buy me some yacht and that would at least give me some *fleet*ing joy
  2. Over 100 Coronavirus cases have been reported on the British Navy's flagship HMS Queen Elizabeth. Other ships in the fleet have been told to keep their distance as it's a carrier.
  3. Every time I click "Remember Me" on a login page, I get a little sad thinking about my fleeting existence... ...But some cookies would brighten my day!
    Disclaimer: Made this joke up just now.
  4. I heard the Greta Van Fleet had to cancel the rest of their US tour. The lead singer pulled his hernia. From lifting too many Led Zeppelin songs.
  5. A German tourist walks into a pie shop on Fleet Street in London And tells the lady behind the counter, "I would like to become a pie." And so he did.
  6. I gave my hair a nickname I started calling it The Spanish Armada because its always on fleet.
  7. Something interesting I learned about Edward VIII He has the distinction of being the only person ever demoted from Lord Admiral of the Fleet to third mate on an American t**....

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Fleet One Liners

Which fleet one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fleet? I can suggest the ones about crew and boat.

  1. Why do they have bar codes on the returning swedish fleet? So they can Scandinavian.
  2. Why do French warships have glass bottoms? So that they can see the rest of their fleet.
  3. Why do French Battleships have glass floors? So they can see the rest of the fleet.
  4. Friends are like snowflakes... cold and fleeting.
  5. How does a Russian Admiral review his fleet? Through a glass bottomed boat
  6. The Swiss put barcodes on their navy fleet.. So they could scan the navy in..
  7. TIL - that Adolf h**... was inspecting his U-Boat fleet one day and got on the Wrong sub
  8. What did the Grand Wizard of the k**... name his new fleet of planes? n**...-AIR
  9. If b**... could'd be the Admiral of the fleet!
  10. Rental fleet car is like a p**..., own car is like a wife Never marry a p**....

Fleet joke, Rental fleet car is like a p**..., own car is like a wife

Uplifting Fleet Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about fleet you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean flight jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fleet pranks.

A Sea Captain looks through his telescope

and sees ships approaching on the horizon. He says to his first mate "Arrrr Matey, fetch me me red shirt".
"But why, Captain?" the Mate says.
"If these be enemies and we must defend our ship I don't want me men to see me bleed".
The mate fetches the shirt as the Captain looks out again, this time seeing a fleet of Pirate Ships gaining on them. He turns to the first mate again:
"Arrr Matey, fetch me me brown pants".

As the first fleet rounded the headlands and sailed into botany bay the local Aborigines could see several men looking towards them through big fancy telescopes. One of the Aborigines comments "s**... white man,

can't even play the didgeridoo".

My new fleetwood Mac satnav is useless.

It just keeps telling me I can go my own way.

>!(Also, you can enjoy the earworm)!<

When your canals don't work like they used to before, And I can't sweep past by your fleet, Will your cargo still remember the haste that I drove? Will your passage be blocked up for weeks?

'Cause, honey, your hull will always go slow, it's evergreen.

\~Capt. Ed Sheeran

Fleetwood Mac

Money has gone missing from Fleetwood Mac's dressing room again.
They're starting to suspect Stevie Nicks.

Fleetwood Mac are releasing a new album

I don't pay much attention to them, but I've heard rumours

A Pirate Captain Spots a Naval Ship On The Horizon

... He turns to his first mate and says "Get me my red shirt!". The first mate asks why and the captain replies, "If I get injured in battle I wouldn't want my crew to worry about me". The first mate nods and fetches the shirt.
The pirates engage the naval ship but soon discover it was a the flagship of a much larger naval fleet that was heading in their direction.
The captain turns to his first mate and says "Fetch me my brown pants!"

Fleet joke, How does a Russian Admiral review his fleet?