JokoJokes

Flea Jokes

44 flea jokes and hilarious flea puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about flea that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Wondering what can bring a smile to your face? Check out this article for some hilarious flea jokes and puns. Learn about flea markets, flea and tick, flea bite puns, screenshots, and more. With a baboon thrown in for good measure, these jokes and puns will have the whole family laughing. Don't miss out on the market for funny flea jokes and puns!

Quick Jump To

Funniest Flea Short Jokes

Short flea jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The flea humour may include short flee jokes also.

  1. What's the difference between a coyote and a flea? One howls on the prairie; the other prowls on the hairy.
  2. A crocodile and a dog meet. The croc looks at the dog with disdain and says: "Hey, flea bag!"
    The dog looks back at the croc and says: "Hey, hand bag!"
  3. How can a flea jump higher than the Empire State Building? The Empire State Building can't jump.
  4. I went to a gay bar called The Flea Market. I guess one man's junk really is another man's treasure.
  5. I bought a used universal remote at a flea market The volume down button was broken but it only cost a nickel.... I couldn't turn it down.
  6. Tongue Twister A flea and a fly flew up in a flue. Said the flea, "Let us fly!" Said the fly, "Let us flee!" So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
  7. What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug? One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro.
  8. Two fleas are on Robinson Crusoe's back. One turns to the other and says, "Well, so long, I'll see you on Friday."
  9. The bad news: I took the wrong medication today. The good news: For the next 3 months I'm protected against heartworms and fleas.
  10. did you hear about the time they strapped a Timex watch on an old, flea-bitten dog to see what would happen? The watch kept ticking, the ticks kept watching.

Share These Flea Jokes With Friends




Flea One Liners

Which flea one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with flea? I can suggest the ones about bed bugs and mosquito.

  1. How do you build a flea circus? You have to start from scratch.
  2. Where do dogs hate shopping at? The flea market.
  3. How do fleas travel? They itch-hike
  4. How do you get rid of fleas? You talk to them politely,
    "Fleas go away"
  5. What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny...
    Happy Easter
  6. Why should a man never bang his best friend? He'll probably catch fleas
  7. Did you hear about the dog who went to the flea circus? He stole the show.
  8. I present to you the world's shortest poem, entitled "Fleas". Adam had'em.
  9. What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773? The Boston Flea Party!
  10. Saw an offer up at a pet shop selling unwashed dogs 'Buy one get one flea'
  11. What is a dog's favorite Christmas song? Fleas Navidad
  12. What did one flea say to another flea? Should we walk or take a dog.
  13. What do you call a tiny bug that infests Egyptian dogs and bites them? Flea-o-patra
  14. Why are flea markets the most exciting shopping experience? Because they are in tents.
  15. I took my dog to the vet for fleas. But they wouldn't give him any.

Flea Market Jokes

Here is a list of funny flea market jokes and even better flea market puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How do you know when you partied too hard last night at the drive-in movies? You wake up in a flea market.
  • I used to go to the flea market with 3 dollars and bring home pants, shirts, a game boy and even an old fancy chair until they put cameras all over the place
  • What's the best place to buy a bass guitar? A Flea market.
  • What do you call a music store that sells bass guitars for insects? A Flea Market.

Flea And Tick Jokes

Here is a list of funny flea and tick jokes and even better flea and tick puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If your dog has fleas and you hear ticks, what should you do? Make a vet appointment for both of you.
Flea joke, If your dog has fleas and you hear ticks, what should you do?

Cheeky Flea Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about flea you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean midge jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make flea pranks.

As I was telling my grandfather goodnight over the phone, he proceeded to tell me "the height of conceit."

Which in his own words:
"You know the height of conceit son? A flea floating on his back down a river, sporting a hard-on, yelling 'OPEN THE DRAWBRIDGE' "
That man.

A father was reading a Bible story to his young children

He said:
The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.
His son asked, What happened to the flea?

This one time I was hit on by Anthony Kiedis.

I only had two options, either give it away... or flea

What's a small black dot between two larger white ones?

A flea with cotton wool in its ears.

Where do insects go for a prostate exam?

A flea bottomist.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What's the difference between a flea, an elephant, and a p**... of glue?

A flea can hop on an elephants back, but an elephant can't hop on a fleas back

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Theory of Jumping Fleas

A lunatic asylum inmate amused himself by placing the pet flea on his left hand and on the command "Jump, Freddie, jump", the insect would leap to his right hand.
This game helped the poor man to pass away the mindless hours but one day he produced a tiny pair of scissors and proceeded to cut off Freddie the Flea's legs. He then placed his truncated pet on his hand and gave the familiar command but to no avail.
And then raising his voice he shouted "Jump, Freddie, jump!" but still the flea remained in his left hand.
'There you are,' cried the man triumphantly. 'That proves my theory, you cut off their legs they go deaf.'

Flea joke, Theory of Jumping Fleas

jokes about flea