Flavorful Jokes

Pork and Leek... great flavor for sausages... lousy brand name for condoms.

Did you hear Ben and j**...'s are naming a flavor in honor of j**... Sandusky?

They are calling it Raspberry Turnover

What flavor was he?

A neutrino walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Can I get you something to drink?" The neutrino replies, "No, I'm just passing through."

A new mint flavored contraceptive taken before s**......

called Predickamints.

A man starts a line of pickled venison ...

...the most popular flavor so far is dill doe.

A grasshopper walks into an ice cream parlor

The clerk says "Hey Grasshopper, we have an ice cream flavor named after you!" The Grasshopper says "What? You have a flavor named Kenneth?"

I was tasked with ordering coffee supplies for the office...

I sent an email to all the staff asking if they wanted flavored creamers or regular creamers.
Their answers were half-and-half.

Did you hear about the new PBR-flavored bagel spread

"Pabst schmear"

Being a man of many flavors.

I survived mustard gas and pepper spray, yesterday I was honored a seasoned veteran.

I go through condoms like a fat man goes through ice cream!

I probably shouldn't have bought the ice cream flavored ones.

I could have sworn I saw fig flavored altoids the other day..

must have been a figment of my imagination.

One time I took a blonde girl to the movies...

We bought our tickets and waited in line for snacks. I got popcorn; she got M&M's. We got a drink to split.
We sat down during the previews. I started eating my popcorn and she opened her M&M's and dumped them all out in her lap. She carefully separated them all by color, took all the brown ones, and threw them in the trash.
"What was that about?" I asked as she returned to her seat.
She smiled and replied "Oh, I'm allergic to chocolate so I always throw the chocolate flavored ones away."

I just found a fruit roll-up in my pocket

That means one of my kids has a grape flavored blunt rap in their lunch box.

A chicken walks in to a bar...

A chicken walks in to a bar. The bartender says, "What'll be, chicken?"
The chicken says, "I'd like a nice pale ale with some type of a fruit flavor."
The bartender says, "You want the bar across the road."

What flavor do termites like best?

Chair-y

Whats a terrorists favorite dessert

flavored ices

My girlfriend is always such a sourpuss.

Maybe I should stop using lemon flavored condoms.

What do designers of gum call new flavors from old ingredients?

ex-spearmints

People tell me soup is better with flavor cubes.

But I don't put a lot of stock in that.
Because of it, though, I was the victim of a lot of boullion.

Why was the radioactive food going to taste bad?

The meal would fallout of flavor.

What is Lil Jon's favorite flavor of BBQ?

Mesquite squite squite.
...Forgive me I'm freshly smoked.

So a man walks into a grocery store and asks the cashier if they have helicopter flavored potato chips.

The cashier says, "sorry we only have plane." ✈️

Two men are lost in the desert

Two men are lost in the desert. They are both severely dehydrated and extremely hungry. While stumbling over a particularly large sand dune, one man spots a tin of fig-flavored altoids.
Desperate for any sustenance, he stumbles ahead and grabs the tin, but realizes it was only a mirage.
He turned to the man behind him and said, "I guess it was just a fig mint of my imagination."

Why is America the largest importer of coffee?

So they can flavor their milkshakes.

What flavor of coffee is name for Joan of Arc?

French Roast

M&M's Came out with a Honey Flavor.

They coated the peanuts in the Peanut M&M's with honey.
They called them "Beez Nuts"

When I was around 5, I asked mum why people were different colors...

She said because god wanted different flavors.
And that was the wrong thing to say, Because For the next 3 years, I thought god ate people after they died...

Did you know that most coffee flavorings have a low pH?

Except pumpkin spice because it's so basic

Taste of Love

After 10 years of marriage John decides to spice up his s**... life.
He buys various flavored condoms and when he comes home he blindfolds his wife and leads her to the bedroom.
Mary, I want you to go down on me and tell me what flavor c**... I'm wearing!
Cheese&Onions!
Wait wait let me put one on first!

People always name Jell-o by its color rather than the flavor.

I think that's a little tasteless.

I've never liked the flavor of cranberries..

the bitter taste *lingers* too much.

Bert and Ernie are working at Ben and j**...'s when Bert invents a new flavor. He asks, "Ernie, will you name this flavor?"

"Sure, Bert."

I don't get american's love to water

They even had a water flavored beer.

Q. Have you heard about the new mint-flavored birth control pill for women that they take immediately before s**...?

A. They're called Predick-a-mints.

Did you hear about the new pickle flavored bread?

So since Pickle flavor is in style now with sonics new pickle juice shake, I think I'm going to launch a line of pickle flavored pastry. I'm going to call it Dilldough.

I can't eat Coleslaw, the flavor is too strong.

I wish they made Coleslaw, but that didn't taste as strong. "Cole's Guidelines and Recommendations" if you will.

Helicopter flavored potato chips?

A guy walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?" The bartender shakes his head and says, "No, we only have plain."

If genres were flavors SCI-FI would be sour, Fantasy would be sweet, Horror would be bitter, Mystery would be umami...

And Erotica would be salty.

I think Kool-aid should make a Jonestown memorial flavor

But it wouldn't be very tasteful

I finally know why people like eating out MILFs

They got the umami flavor

Soylent Cola, the soda made from grinding up people, is said to not have a set flavor

They say the taste varies from person to person.

What's Robert Kraft's favorite wing flavor?

Dry rub!

What did Captain Flavor Flav yell at sea?

YEAAAAHHHH BUOOOOYYYY

My mom was telling my little brother about the food she ordered....

she said it had a middle eastern flavor to it. I then said said He doesn't even know what that means! To which he replied, Yes I do, it just means there's a bomb in it.

What flavor does anime absolutely hate?

Anything vanilla, apparently

Please stop making new flavors of coca cola.

Either you put the c**... back or leave it alone.

What flavor ice cream do Jedi like best?

Obi-Wan Spumoni

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down.

AAA (Antarctic Automobile Assn) tows it to the garage in the nearest town, where the mechanic says he has time to look at it, give him half an hour.
The penguin wanders down the street to an ice cream shop and decides to beat the heat with a cone of his favorite flavor, vanilla. Of course, being a penguin, with flippers instead of hands, as well as a beak, he makes a huge mess and gets ice cream all over his face. h**... goes back to the garage, where the mechanic tells him "looks like you blew a seal."
"No," says the penguin. "That's just ice cream."

A boy asked his dad, What's a c**... meant for? The father replied...

Condiments are used to add flavor to certain foods, most commonly hot dogs and burgers.

I am opening a specialty shop that only sells flavored l**...

It's called Hole Foods

A Russian family always ate very bland food. However, one day they invited their Mexican neighbor over for dinner. When little Ivan asked his Babushka while their food tasted so much more flavorful, she replied:

Jesus is the reason for the season.

What's a carpenter's favorite dessert flavor?

Plumb Jamb

When life gives you...

...High Fructose Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid, Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Furmarate, Yellow #5, Tocopherol and less than 2% natural flavors...
...Make lemonade.

A man walks into a bakery on March 14th

He orders some pie, the baker thinks its clever and gets him some pie. The next day the man comes back and says the pie was great and orders a different flavor. He does this every day for 350 days. The baker running out of ideas for flavors sees the man come in on Feb 27th.
He says, man look I'm out of ideas.
Well how about some cake then, asks the man.
Are you sure, no pie?
No sir, today is my cakeday!

In the 1970s, as manager of Baskin Robbins', my mom was tasked to create new flavors related to Richard Nixon...

Her choices, as she told me, were 'ImPeachments & Cream' and 'Watermelon-Gate' (as a sorbet).
​
Both were denied.
This is actually true.

A guy put a gallon each of strawberry, grape and apple flavored punch in a barrel, jumped in and rolled down a local hill. His friend asked, but why?

He replied: I just wanted to roll with the punches.

A Dr. Of marine biology was inspired to create a new beverage.

Dr. Marcus Opor, renowned marine biologist and ocean sustainability expert, experimented with a brewed beverage with skipjack tuna as its primary ingredient. He spent years alternating its composition, striving for a balance of savory and rich ocean flavors. At last, he perfected his "tea", and was ready to bring it to market.
Dr. Opor made a single sample of his piscine tea and brought it to Costco to perform a taste test. Sadly, nobody was interested in his tuna beverage and it was thrown out.
It was a wasted Opor tuna tea.