Flatulence Jokes

35 flatulence jokes and hilarious flatulence puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about flatulence that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Flatulence Short Jokes

Short flatulence jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The flatulence humour may include short gassy jokes also.

  1. Today I put a new lens on my camera that allows me to take photos of farts. It's called flatulence.
    Sorry, I'm a dad.
  2. What do you call a teacher who doesn't flatulate in public. A private tutor.
    -Credits to my cousin ;)
  3. When people around me complain about my flatulence I explain to them that it puts me on the same level as the great Pharaohs of old.... Because we have a Tutanhkhamun.
  4. "So you are suffering from flatulences, grandpa?" "Suffering? No, that's my last remaining pleasure!"
  5. A guy was running around trying to determine the source of physicians' flatulence He was only following doctors odors.
  6. What did the flatulent man say to the preacher during confession? Forgive me Father, for i have wind.
  7. A man with no nose applies to be a professional flatulence detector.
  8. What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend? Rip in peace
  9. My thesis on Orbital Flatulence took seven years of hard work... Well, that's what I tell everyone. I was really just f**... around.
  10. A question about flatulence. If you die due to a lack of breathable air caused by flatulence, is the Cause of Death "a**...-phyxiation"?

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Flatulence One Liners

Which flatulence one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with flatulence? I can suggest the ones about gases and passing gas.

  1. Why are blacksmiths so flatulent? Whoever smelt it, dealt it
  2. What do you call a sociopathic Englishman with flatulence? Jack the Ripper
  3. What do you call a flatulent boxer? Gassius Clay
  4. What do you call a flatulent homosexual boxer? Gassius Gay
  5. What do you call a champion boxer with flatulence? Gaseous Clay
  6. What do you call a rapper with flatulence? 50 scents.
  7. What is the gassiest insect? A flatul ant!
  8. What do you call someone who gives their life in the name of flatulence? A fartyr.
  9. What do you call a flatulent group of witches? ...
    A Dutch Coven
  10. Flatulence is... really nothing more than a beans to an end.
  11. What do you call a flatulent teacher? A tutor
  12. What do you call an ambulance with a flat tire? A flatulence.
  13. What is the scientific units for flatulence concentration? Farts per million.
  14. What has ten letters and starts with gas? "flatulence"
  15. Who is the most flatulent artist? De-gas

Flatulence joke, Who is the most flatulent artist?

Fun-Filled Flatulence Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about flatulence you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean indigestion jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make flatulence pranks.

A man visits his doctor...

and says "Doc, you gotta help me. I have a terrible case of flatulence. Fortunately it's completely silent and there's no smell, but I haven't stopped passing gas for two days ! Can you help me ? "
Doc says "Yes, but first we need to check your hearing and your sinuses."
[ok, I'm walking off, no need to throw stuff.]

An old lady is sitting with her doctor

I've been having the most terrible flatulence, doctor. I just can't stop passing gas. Luckily, they're silent and they don't smell at all. Why, you couldn't tell but I've f**... at least five or six times in the few minutes I've been here with you.
The doctor pulled out his prescription pad and began writing.
Are these pills to help with my stomach?
The doctor replied, no – your sense of smell.


A lady sees the doctor to complain about her flatulences. „Doctor, I have these huge flatulences. Although they don't smell they're bothering me. The doctor gives her some pills to s**... and asks her to show up next week. After a week the lady returns: „What pills did you give me? My farts stink like h**... now! The doctor replies: „You nose is okay now again, now we take care of your flatulences.

An elderly lady goes to see the doctor about her flatulence.

Doctor, can you please help? I pass wind all the time. They don't smell, they don't make a sound, but I've f**... three times already since coming in here.
The Doctor prescribes some tablets and asks the lady to return in a week.
Doctor, help! My gas has gotten worse! They still don't make a sound but now they stink, it's disgusting!
The Doctor replies, Good, we've fixed your sinuses, now let's work on your hearing.

Another f**... joke that includes a doctor

A man goes to the doctor to tell him about his recent extreme flatulence. He is constantly f**... as he tells the doctor about his problem.
At one point, the Doctor excuses himself, leaves the room and comes back with a six foot long pole with a hook on the end.
The Doctor answers, "Open a window!"

Why is flatulence more satisfying after a long struggle to push it out?

Because you know you made a real ef-**f**...**

Flatulence joke, What do you call someone who gives their life in the name of flatulence?