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Flattered Jokes

40 flattered jokes and hilarious flattered puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about flattered that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Flattered Short Jokes

Short flattered jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The flattered humour may include short impressed jokes also.

  1. I walked in on my wife singing the other day.
    Surprised, I said "Oh, I thought you were the radio."
    Flattered, she asked "Did you come to listen?"
    "No," I replied, "I came to turn it off."
  2. I showed my Mexican friends I know a little Spanish by saying "mucho" and they seemed really flattered ...they said it meant a lot to them.
  3. Everyone keeps wishing a Happy Father's Day to "The Best Dad in the World." I'm flattered. But I hope everyone wishes their own dad a Happy fathers day as well.
  4. When an artist covers another artist's song, it's flattering. When a comedian tells another comedian's joke, it's Carlos Mencia
  5. I took my dog to the park today to play Frisbee. He was hopeless. I think I need a flatter dog.
  6. My son came home from school in tears. "My girlfriend slept with my best friend," he said.
    I said, "That's very flattering, I never knew I was your best friend."
  7. I tried to play frisbee with my dog today but he was useless. I think I need a flatter dog.
  8. How Wonderful Did you hear the story of the man that had the great honor of being crushed by a steam roller?
    He was flattered
  9. Went to the park yesterday to play frisbee with my dog. Think I'm gonna need a flatter dog.
  10. I was asked to run today's London marathon. I said I'm flattered but I don't believe I could organise such a big event.

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Flattered One Liners

Which flattered one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with flattered? I can suggest the ones about pleased and nice compliment.

  1. I tried to play frisbee with my dog this morning. It didn't work. Need a flatter dog
  2. I got athlete's foot... I don't even work out, so I was flattered.
  3. Why did the squirrel blush after he was hit by a car? He was flattered.
  4. What did the pancake say to the complimentary muffin? I'm flattered!
  5. I was quite flattered once. I'm better now.
  6. I applauded a mosquito… suffice it to say it was flattered.
  7. Yo momma is so flat, She's flatter than flat earth.
  8. If you want good feedback ask any road-roller driver - they are natural flatterers.
  9. Why was the waffle jealous of the pancake? The pancakes was flattered.
  10. I thought you'd be flattered that my dog found your leg so attractive.
  11. Why is it easy to impress flat-earth theorists Because they're always flattered.
  12. What's flatter than a shaken up coke bottle? All the girls in my class.
  13. The more you run over a cat... the flatter it gets.

Flattered joke, The more you run over a cat...

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about flattered can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of flattered puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Flattered Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about flattered you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean compliment jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make flattered prank.

How to be insulting

A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.
He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"
She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?"
The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Haven't seen this joke on here yet, it's my favorite.

A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.
He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!".
She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?".

The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now!".

A joke most likely to get me banned by Ellen Pao

So, a man walks into a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.
He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"
The flattered woman replies, "You really think so?"
The guy says, "Oh of course! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

Nice legs..

A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table. He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!" She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?" The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

45 year old charming guy

Having recently turned 45, I thought I had lost all the appeal and charm I used to have with the ladies, until today that is. At my local gas station, the pretty young girl who has served me every other day or so for several weeks asked for my number. I was taken aback. I explained how I was flattered but was perhaps a bit too old for her and that if I were 20 or so years younger I would happily take her up on her offer, I explained how love and s**... attraction, when intertwined, can be exciting and that I hadn't felt this way in years and asked that she save her love for someone who will truly care for her and respect her not only as a woman, but as a person.
. . . . "No," she said. "Your pump number, sir."

This girl said she could see a bulge in my swim shorts and I was flattered.

I looked down at my c**... and she said, "The other side."

A woman is shopping at a grocery store.

She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line.
"You must be single." the clerk says.
Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?".
"Because you're ugly".

Big Feet

A lady goes into a bar and sees a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He has the biggest feet she's ever seen. The woman asks the cowboy if what they say about men with big feet is true. The cowboy replies, "Sure is, why don't you come back to my place and let me prove it?" The woman is curious, so she spends the night with him. When she sees him the next day, she hands the cowboy a $100 bill.
"I'm flattered," he says, blushing. "Nobody has ever paid me for my prowess before." "Well, don't be," the woman replies. "Take this money and go buy yourself some boots that fit!"

A drunk American was p**... on a street in Germany

When a German girl walks by and screams Ah Nein! The American guy says, I'm flattered but I think it's closer to 8.

(True story) After reaching the height of his fame, Alec Guinness went into a restaurant and dropped his jacket off at the reception..

When it was time to give his name, the Receptionist told him it wasn't necessary. Feeling flattered, Alec went to his table..
At the end of the night, he went to pick up his jacket. In the pocket of his jacket, there was the ticket stub. On the ticket stub, where his name was supposed to be, it said old man with glasses .

A minister was making farewell visits before moving to a new parish.

An elderly woman of the congregation paid him the compliment of suggesting that his successor would not be as good as he had been.
Nonsense, he replied, flattered.
No, really, she insisted. * I've lived here under six different ministers, and each new one has been worse than the last. *

Anesthesia

A man was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his wife was sitting at his bedside.
His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, "You're beautiful."
Flattered, the wife continued her vigil while he drifted back to sleep.
Later, her husband woke up and said, "You're cute."
Startled, she asked him, "What happened to beautiful?"
"The drugs are wearing off," he replied.

I once complimented a curvy woman who doesn't believe Earth is round.

She replied that it was very flattering.

A girl was at the store getting a sandwich and some chips and the guy at the checkout asked "do you want to go for a drink?"

To which she says "I'm flattered but I have a boyfriend"
And the guy replied "No. It's part of the meal deal"

My new girlfriend has been telling people about me.

I'm flattered, but she could at least have kept us a secret from the police.

My Ex said, she missed me

normally i'd say that's flattering
but she is already reloading.

Flattered joke, My Ex said, she missed me

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these flattered jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.