Flatter Than Jokes

These are 65 flatter than jokes and hilarious flatter than puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about flatter than that are good jokes for kids and friends.

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Best Short Flatter Than Jokes

These are our top flatter than puns. Have fun with a good flatter than joke in English with simple flatter than humour.

I walked in on my wife singing the other day.
Surprised, I said "Oh, I thought you were the radio."
Flattered, she asked "Did you come to listen?"
"No," I replied, "I came to turn it off."
I showed my Mexican friends I know a little Spanish by saying "mucho" and they seemed really flattered ...they said it meant a lot to them.
Everyone keeps wishing a Happy Father's Day to "The Best Dad in the World." I'm flattered. But I hope everyone wishes their own dad a Happy fathers day as well.
When an artist covers another artist's song, it's flattering. When a comedian tells another comedian's joke, it's Carlos Mencia
I took my dog to the park today to play Frisbee. He was hopeless. I think I need a flatter dog.
My son came home from school in tears. "My girlfriend slept with my best friend," he said.
I said, "That's very flattering, I never knew I was your best friend."
I tried to play frisbee with my dog today but he was useless. I think I need a flatter dog.
How Wonderful Did you hear the story of the man that had the great honor of being crushed by a steam roller?
He was flattered
Went to the park yesterday to play frisbee with my dog. Think I'm gonna need a flatter dog.
I was asked to run today's London marathon. I said I'm flattered but I don't believe I could organise such a big event.

Make fun with this list of one liners, gags and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor found in these flatter than jokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of flatter than puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, these jokes offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Flatter Than One Liners

Which flatter than dad jokes are funny enough to crack down and make fun with flatter than?

I tried to play frisbee with my dog this morning. It didn't work. Need a flatter dog
I got athlete's foot... I don't even work out, so I was flattered.
Why did the squirrel blush after he was hit by a car? He was flattered.
What did the pancake say to the complimentary muffin? I'm flattered!
I was quite flattered once. I'm better now.
I applauded a mosquito… suffice it to say it was flattered.
Yo momma is so flat, She's flatter than flat earth.
If you want good feedback ask any road-roller driver - they are natural flatterers.
Why was the waffle jealous of the pancake? The pancakes was flattered.
I thought you'd be flattered that my dog found your leg so attractive.
Why is it easy to impress flat-earth theorists Because they're always flattered.
What's flatter than a shaken up coke bottle? All the girls in my class.
The more you run over a cat... the flatter it gets.

Flatter Than Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about flatter than to tell and make people laugh ? Check out these list of good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make flatter than prank.

Bar peanuts...

A man sits down at a bar. A basket of peanuts is nearby and tells him, "Hey man, you're looking great tonight!"
The man says, "Thanks, peanuts!"
The peanuts reply, "Also, I really love your outfit!"
The man responds, "Thanks, so nice of you"
The peanuts tell him, "You are one of the coolest guys I have ever met!"
The man is flattered and calls over to the bartender.
"Hey barkeep, these peanuts sure are kind."
The bartender replies, "They sure should be, they're complimentary"

Haven't seen this joke on here yet, it's my favorite.

A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.
He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!".
She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?".

The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now!".

Why does a fat man when squeezed compliment the ladies?

Because the pressure makes him flatter.

Perceptions vary

Following World War II, a general and his lieutenant boarded a British train. They sat across from an attractive young lady and her grandmother. As the train departed, it entered a long tunnel. Total darkness encompassed the train for approximately thirty seconds. In the darkness of those moments, the passengers heard two things - a kiss and a slap. Everyone on board had his or her own outlook of what happened. For example . . .
The young lady assumed to herself, "While I'm flattered that the handsome lieutenant kissed me, I'm embarrassed that my grandmother slapped him."
The grandmother supposed, "I'm disappointed with the lieutenant, but I'm proud that my granddaughter had the courage to hit him."
The general thought, "What in the world . . . why did my lieutenant kiss that civilian young lady and why did she slap me by mistake?"
The lieutenant was the only person on that train who really knew what happened. In that brief period of total darkness, he had the opportunity to kiss an attractive young lady, as well as slap a general.

Asked for advice about dating, a father tells his son, "Son, the object of dating is to score...

"And to do that," he continues, "you have to give the girl something nice. So when you pick up your date later, make sure you have some flowers or
chocolates to give her. Girls go crazy over that stuff. The more you give, the more you get!"
So, taking his father's advice, the son showed up for his first date with flowers AND chocolates. She was so flattered and pleased that she rewarded him with a long, passionate kiss. She pressed her chest against him, rubbed her fingers through his hair -- it was the best kiss he could imagine.
Right after the kiss, he turned and bolted away.
"Oh! I'm sorry!" the girl called after him. "I didn't mean to scare you away!"
"You didn't!" he replied. "I'm going out to buy you some jewelry!"

45 year old charming guy

Having recently turned 45, I thought I had lost all the appeal and charm I used to have with the ladies, until today that is. At my local gas station, the pretty young girl who has served me every other day or so for several weeks asked for my number. I was taken aback. I explained how I was flattered but was perhaps a bit too old for her and that if I were 20 or so years younger I would happily take her up on her offer, I explained how love and s**... attraction, when intertwined, can be exciting and that I hadn't felt this way in years and asked that she save her love for someone who will truly care for her and respect her not only as a woman, but as a person.
. . . . "No," she said. "Your pump number, sir."

Champagne makes you beautiful

During a high-society reception, a man accosts a not-so-pretty lady and goes: "Madame, please allow me to tell you that Champagne makes you beautiful".
A little surprised and maybe a little flattered too, the woman replies: "I don't know what you mean, this is my first glass of the evening". The man then concludes: "This might be your first glass, but personally, I already had two bottles."
Heard a few minutes ago on a French radio station. Please forgive the clumsy English adaptation.

How to be insulting

A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.
He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"
She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?"
The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

A joke most likely to get me banned by Ellen Pao

So, a man walks into a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.
He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"
The flattered woman replies, "You really think so?"
The guy says, "Oh of course! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

A woman is shopping at a grocery store.

She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line.
"You must be single." the clerk says.
Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?".
"Because you're ugly".

If all the animals on the equator were capable of flattering

Then halloween and thanksgiving would fall on the same day

This girl said she could see a bulge in my swim shorts and I was flattered.

I looked down at my c**... and she said, "The other side."

Video store

I went to blockbuster today to pick out a movie I was approached by a reporter who asked if he could do a story on me, flattered I ask why not?
I read the paper the next day and see the headline "d**... still goes to video store." Thank god no one found out though.

I've been told I look like someone from a popular TV show.

Feeling flattered I asked which show?
"To Catch a Predator"

This woman said that I reminded her of Brad Pitt.

I was flattered, until she mentioned it was when he played Benjamin Button.

A man at a fancy restaurant noticed a gorgeous woman sitting at the next table.

Suddenly she sneezed, causing her glass eye to pop out and fly toward him. The man caught it mid-air.
"I'm so sorry," the woman said as she popped her eye back in. "Let me buy you dinner."
After charming dinner conversation, the woman offered to drive the man home.
The man was flattered. "You're the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
"No," she responded. "You just happened to catch my eye!"

A guy walks into a bar

{walks up to an ugly girl}
Guy: is this seat taken?
Girl (trying not to sound too flattered): Why no, it isn't.
Guy: didn't think so.
{continues walking}

There are 7.5 billion individual world views on planet earth...

Some are flatter than others.

Anesthesia

A man was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his wife was sitting at his bedside.
His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, "You're beautiful."
Flattered, the wife continued her vigil while he drifted back to sleep.
Later, her husband woke up and said, "You're cute."
Startled, she asked him, "What happened to beautiful?"
"The drugs are wearing off," he replied.

A lady went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table.

He had the biggest boots she'd ever seen.
The woman asked the cowboy if it's true that men with big feet are well endowed.
The cowboy grinned and said, "Shore is, little lady. Why don't you come on out to the bunkhouse and let me prove it to you?"

The woman was a bit promiscuous and was curious to see if the old adage was correct, so she spent the night with him.
The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.
Blushing, he said, "Well, thank you, ma'am. Ah'm real flattered. Ain't nobody ever paid me fer mah services before."
"Don't be flattered. Take the money and buy yourself some smaller boots"

My new girlfriend has been telling people about me.

I'm flattered, but she could at least have kept us a secret from the police.

What do you call a flattering, biased story about Sean Diddy Combs?

A Puff (daddy) piece

A lady went into a bar and saw a man with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest boots she'd ever seen.

The woman asked the man if it's true what they say about men with big feet are well endowed. The man grinned and said, "Sure is, little lady. Why don't you come on out to the bunkhouse and let me prove it to you"...?
The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him.
The next morning she handed him a £100. Blushing, he said, "Well, thanks, miss I'm really flattered. Ain't nobody ever paid me fer mah services before".....
She said, "Don't be flattered take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit".....!!!

A girl called me cute today

So I asked if she was a Flat Earther because although flattering she was clearly mistaken.

What do the twin towers and Mila Kunis have in common?

They're both flatter than a pancake

When I was a child, my dad used to play frisbee with me every day.

He always said, This s**.... I wish you were a flatter kid.

My dad at the doctor

The doctor tells him to watch his weight, my father to answer him "That's why I put it all in front of me!" While flattering his big belly.

A girl once told me that I have the body of a mannequin.

It's very flattering until you realize that mannequins don't have d**....

I recently got ran over by a steam roller

people said i should be offended, but i was flattered.

My classmates admire me because I do not believe the earth is round.

It is quite flattering.

A drunk American was p**... on a street in Germany

When a German girl walks by and screams Ah Nein! The American guy says, I'm flattered but I think it's closer to 8.

I've been nominated for president of the flat-earth society.

Not sure if I should feel flattered or if this is going to have a flipside.

You are a nice curve, a beautiful curve, the best curve.

Cool, I've just flattered the curve.

Nice legs..

A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table. He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!" She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?" The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

A girl was at the store getting a sandwich and some chips and the guy at the checkout asked "do you want to go for a drink?"

To which she says "I'm flattered but I have a boyfriend"
And the guy replied "No. It's part of the meal deal"

A coach known for disagreeing with the referee's decisions approached the referee after a match and said:

That was a great match!
Oh, really? the referee replied with a smile, clearly flattered.
Yes! I wish you had seen it!

I once complimented a curvy woman who doesn't believe Earth is round.

She replied that it was very flattering.

Hannah and Max are talking during recess...

Max finds Hannah really pretty. Thinking he's old enough for a girlfriend, he decides to try to flirt with Hannah.
"I just remembered, I had a dream about you last night!", Max did not, in fact, have a dream about Hannah last night.
"Oh, really? Was it a nice dream?", says Hannah, clearly flattered. Max starts to panic.
"Uh, I can't remember, I slept through it!"

My Ex said, she missed me

normally i'd say that's flattering
but she is already reloading.

Big Feet

A lady goes into a bar and sees a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He has the biggest feet she's ever seen. The woman asks the cowboy if what they say about men with big feet is true. The cowboy replies, "Sure is, why don't you come back to my place and let me prove it?" The woman is curious, so she spends the night with him. When she sees him the next day, she hands the cowboy a $100 bill.
"I'm flattered," he says, blushing. "Nobody has ever paid me for my prowess before." "Well, don't be," the woman replies. "Take this money and go buy yourself some boots that fit!"

A minister was making farewell visits before moving to a new parish.

An elderly woman of the congregation paid him the compliment of suggesting that his successor would not be as good as he had been.
Nonsense, he replied, flattered.
No, really, she insisted. * I've lived here under six different ministers, and each new one has been worse than the last. *

(True story) After reaching the height of his fame, Alec Guinness went into a restaurant and dropped his jacket off at the reception..

When it was time to give his name, the Receptionist told him it wasn't necessary. Feeling flattered, Alec went to his table..
At the end of the night, he went to pick up his jacket. In the pocket of his jacket, there was the ticket stub. On the ticket stub, where his name was supposed to be, it said old man with glasses .

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like kids and toddlers can enjoy. They can be verbal, as in a play on words, or narrative, often involving a set-up and a punchline. JokoJokes has it all! Jokes in Spanish are also found. Teens are often joking with 4 year olds and 6 year olds. Found out more in our Jokes FAQ section

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The impact of these flatter than jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.