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Flat Tire Jokes

88 flat tire jokes and hilarious flat tire puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about flat tire that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Flat Tire Short Jokes

Short flat tire jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The flat tire humour may include short popped tire jokes also.

  1. Knew somebody who used to live in a giant tire. He got a puncture one day……..
    #
    #
    #
    Now he lives in a flat.
  2. To tell me my zipper was open, a girl tells me, "your garage is open" I said, "did you see my ford mustang gt super sport?"
    She said "No, but i did see your mini cooper with two flat tires"
  3. Kid: Dad, I need to fix my bike tire, it's flat. Dad: Kiddo, you need a henway for that. Kid: What's a henway? About three pounds.
    (read outloud)
  4. I needed an emergency tire change. I asked what the hourly rate was. I was relieved when they said it's a... ...Flat Fee.
  5. My boss is mad that I was late to work today I guess having a flat tire isn't a good excuse when you work from home.
  6. If you're flying through the desert and your boat gets a flat tire, what should you have in your pockets? Blue, because ice cream has no bones
  7. Two blondes are looking at a flat tire. One says to the other, how bad is it?
    The other says, not bad it's only flat on the bottom.
  8. What happened to the Guns 'n Roses tour bus when it got a flat tire and had to be jacked up for repair? Its axle rose.
  9. what did the libertarian say after I changed his flat tire? I did it all by myself, without any help from anyone.
  10. Why can't you haggle when getting your tire patched up? Because it's a FLAT rate

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Flat Tire One Liners

Which flat tire one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with flat tire? I can suggest the ones about tire and goodyear tire.

  1. What vegetable do you need when you get a flat tire? A-spare-I-guess.
  2. I saw a homeless man living in a tire today, so I popped it Now he lives in a flat
  3. What do you call a feminist with a flat tire? Stranded.
  4. What does a cuban do when he gets a flat tire? Drowns.
  5. Did you hear about the frog that had a flat tire? He was toad.
  6. I used to live in a tire... But it got a puncture. So now, I live in a flat.
  7. Roses are Red, Tires are Black So why is your chest as flat as your back?
  8. I got a flat tire I shoulda bought asparagus.
  9. I saw a taxi that said "Low Flat Rates" on the side They must have good tires.
  10. A musician was late to his concert... He drove over something sharp and got a flat tire.
  11. Like a flat tire.......how I'm rolling this morning.
  12. What did the vegan say when she got a flat tire... I should have brought asparagus.
  13. What do you suppose a vegetable farmer would use to replace a flat tire? Asparagus...
  14. I got a flat tire on my way home from the grocery store At least I have asparagus
  15. I should've brought asparagus I have a flat tire

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about flat tire can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of flat tire puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Gather Around for Heartwarming Flat Tire Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about flat tire you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean car trouble jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make flat tire prank.

Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes.
After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.
Much to their relief she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper."
Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down.
Then she said, "First Question was which tire was flat?"

Chuck Norris inflated a flat school bus tire, with his lungs.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.

"What do I look like?"

A man comes home from work and is greeted by his wife.
"Honey, my car got a flat, can you fix it for me?"
"What do I look like", He asks "The michelin tire guy? Get me a beer." And goes and watches TV/
The next day his wife greets him again after work.
"Honey, the dishwasher is on the fritz. Can you take a look at it?" She asks.
"What do I look like? The Maytag repair guy?" He asks roughly. "Get me a beer." And goes to watch TV.
The third day the man comes home and his wife greets him.
"Honey, it's the greatest thing. John from next door came over and fixed the dishwasher AND my flat tire. All I had to do was bake him a cake or sleep with him." She tells him.
"Oh, what kind of cake did you bake?" The husband asks.
The wife replies, "What do I look like, Betty Crocker?"

This guy walks out of the bathroom when...

This guy walks out of the bathroom when a woman says, "Excuse me sir, but your garage door is open."
The guy then replies, "Oh, really? Did you see my Harley?"
She says back, "No, just a small bike, with two flat tires."

The Final Exam

The weekend before their big history final, four college buddies decided to go to St. Louis to party with friends. However, after partying all night, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Springfield until early Monday morning.
Rather than taking their history final then, they decided to find their professor after it was over and explain to her why they had missed it.
They had gone to St. Louis for the weekend, they told her, and had planned to come back in time for the test, but on the way back, they'd taken a short cut down a dirt road and had had a flat tire. They didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time and as a result they missed the final.
The Professor thought about it awhile and then agreed they could make up the final the following day.
The guys were elated. They studied together that evening and, the next morning, arrived for the test. The professor placed them in separate rooms, handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin.
They looked at the first problem. It asked:
"(For 5 points) On what date was the Declaration of Independence ratified?"
"Cool," they thought at the same time, each in his separate room. "This test is going to be a breeze."
Each wrote July 4, 1776 and then turned the page.
On the second page was written:
"(For 95 points): Which tire?"

Which tire was flat?

Two students decide to go skiing for the weekend, and are having such a good time they decide to blow off the (calculus, I believe) exam that they have scheduled for Monday morning in order to get some final runs in before they head back to school. They decide to tell the prof that they got a flat tire and therefore deserve to take the exam at a rescheduled time.
Hearing the story, said professor agrees that it really was just bad luck, and of course they can take the exam later. At the appointed time, the prof greets them and places them in two separate rooms to take the exam.
The few questions on the first page are worth a minor 10% of the overall grade, and are quite easy. Each student grows progressively confident as they take the test, sure that they have gotten away with fooling the professor. However, when they turn to the second page they discover that they really haven't.
The only question on the page, worth 90% of the exam, reads: "Which tire was flat?"

Final Exam

The Final Exam
There were four University sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an 'A' so far. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to school until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, they decided that after the final they would explain to their professor why they missed it. They said that they visited friends but on the way back they had a flat tire. As a result, they missed the final. The professor agreed they could make up the final the next day. The
guys were excited and relieved. They studied that night for the exam.
The next day the Professor placed them in separate rooms and gave them a test booklet. They quickly answered the first problem worth 5 points. Cool, they thought! Each one in separate rooms, thought this was going to be easy. Then they turned the page. On the second page was written...
For 95 points: Which tire? _________

Did you hear about the new Italian tires?

d**... through mud, d**... through snow, and when d**... flat d**... w**..., w**..., w**....
originally told to me by an italian american roomate, cheers to d**... Red from Chicago

Want a screwdriver?

Rich woman and her driver are out in the country. They get a flat tire, and of course the driver can't get the hubcap off. The woman searches the tool bag, and spies a tool that will help. "You want a screwdriver?" she asks.
"Might as well, I can't get this d**... hubcap off."

I had a flat tire the other day...

I had a flat tire on the I-95 yesterday; so, I pulled over, got out of the car and opened my trunk.
I took out my cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic.
They look so lifelike you wouldn't believe it!
Just as I had hoped, cars started slowing down looking at the men which made it much safer for me to work
on the side of the road.
People honked and waved, and it wasn't long before a police car pulled up behind me.
He wanted to know what the heck I was doing, so I calmly explained that I was changing my flat.
He told me he could see that, but demanded to know what the heck the n**... cardboard men were
doing standing at the rear of my car.
I couldn't believe he didn't know!
So I told him .... "Well, I explained to the angry Policeman ....
They're my Emergency Flashers!!!!"
I go to court in August.

Have you heard about the new Italian radial tires?

When they go flat they go "w**... w**... w**...!"

Did you hear about the new Italian tires?

d**... here, d**... there, and when d**... flat, d**... w**... w**... w**....

Fella rescued a damsel in distress.

Fella was heading home when he saw a lady beside the road with a flat tire. Being kind hearted, Fella stopped to change the tire for her. Lady was so thankful she invited Fella back to her place for a thank you drink. One thing lead to another and soon they were in the sack together. He realized the time and jumped up with a start. Running around getting his clothes on, he said, "What am I going to tell my wife?" "Wait, do you have any baby powder" he asked. "Certainly" she replied. He dusted his hands with the powder and headed home.
Walking in the door, he was greeted by his wife demanding to know where he had been. So he told her the truth, how he had stopped to change a woman's tire then wound up spending the afternoon in bed with her.
His wife looked at him for a moment, then grabbed his hands looking at them. She screamed at him, "You s**..., you spent the day playing pool again, didn't you?"

Did you hear about the new Italian tires?

d**... through snow, d**... through mud, d**... through water but when d**... flat d**... w**..., w**..., w**...!

Don't park next to a musician...

when you come back, your car will be keyed and your tires, B flat.

How did the vegetable farmer fix his flat tire on his truck?

with asparagus...

Why the Japanese tourist couldn't change flat tire?

'Cause he was using City Tours.

a man was late for a business meeting

so he was already in a rush when he had a flat tire. he pulled over and began changing to his spare. Just as he as about to mount the spare, he accidentally knocked all his lugnuts into a storm drain. so he begins cursing his luck.
It just so happens he pulled over next to an insane asylum where there were patients out on the grounds behind a chain link fence. one of the patients saw the commotion and came to the fence and asked him what was wrong. He explained that he had lost his lugnuts and couldn't mount the spare.
"just take one lugnut off of each of the other three tires. that will at least get you where you need to go, then you can get replacement nuts later." the patient suggested.
"that's actually really brilliant. thank you" the man said.
"yeah, well I'm in here because I'm crazy, not s**..."

Emergency flashers

Yesterday, I had a flat tire on the interstate. So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk.
I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing on-coming traffic. They looked so lifelike you wouldn't believe it! They're dressed in open trench coats that exposed their n**... bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.
But to my surprise, cars started slowing down to look at my cardboard cutouts. And, of course, traffic began backing up. Everybody tooted their horns and waved like crazy. It wasn't long before a state trooper pulled up behind me.
He got out of his car and walked towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!
"What's going on here?"
"My car has a flat tire," I said calmly.
"Well, what are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?"
I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him, "Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!

I slashed my Postal Delivery Driver's tires today

I wanted to be sure *all* of my last minute packages had flat rate shipping.

My friend told me I didn't "understand" irony.

But then he got a flat tire. Oh, the sweet irony.

I was driving through Liverpool when I got a flat tire...

I was driving through liverpool when I got a flat tire, so I pulled up on the side of the road and got out to change it. While I was changing it, a stranger came over and opened my bonnet.
I asked "What are you doing?!"
"Well, if you're having the tires, I'm having the engine"

A man is with his wife who's filling up their flat tire with air...

"Since when do you need to pay to fill up a tire?" says the wife.
"I don't know," replies the husband. "But I'm sure it has something to do with inflation."

How does a white lady fix a flat tire?

She buys a new car.

Dave was trying to figure out what he would get his wife for her birthday...

Tired of racking his brain, he flat out asked her what she wanted. She replied "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds." So he bought her a bathroom scale.
Dave hasn't been heard from or seen since Thursday.

The new Italian car tires are awesome!

d**... through rain!
d**... through snow!
d**... through ice!
But when d**... flat,
d**... w**... w**... w**... w**...!

I got a flat tire

I should of brought asparagus

Louis c**... helped me change a flat tire.

All I had to do was watch him jack it.

If a tire was a musical instrument...

would it immediately go flat when you go sharp?

I got a flat tire recently...

I was lucky enough to have spotted it before I was able to drive off to my local bowling alley. Unfortunately for me, I didn't have any extra tires on me, nor was I willing to go to my local auto shop and get one.
Fortunately, I did have the bowling ball and 10 pins I was planning on bringing with me, so all I had to do was knock down 9 pins with the bowling ball, and then knock down the last one to get a spare.

Four high school kids who carpooled together decided to skip school and spend the day fishing.

The next day they told the teacher that they had had a flat tire, and couldn't make it to class.
Much to their relief, she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a pop quiz yesterday, so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper." Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down.
Once they were seated and ready, she said: "First Question: Which tire was flat?" 

I bought reflective tape to put on my dogs collar...

Don't want to be responsible for a flat tire...

Four college students decide to get drunk before their final exam.

Four college students decide to get drunk the night before their final exam. They get so drunk they wake up late and completely miss their final. The four students go to their professor, and explain this elaborate lie that when they were on their way to the final that their car tire went flat. They beg for a retest, and the professor agrees.
The day of the make up test the four boys all arrive on time, completely sober. The professor looks at the boys, looks at his watch, and says you may begin the test .
The four boys open their final booklet and to their surprise they each only have one question.
Which tire was flat?

How do you get an Alaskan flat tire?

When the husky falls over

A penguin is driving and gets a flat tire.

He pulls over to the nearest gas station and speaks to the mechanic. About how long to get this repaired? says the penguin. Should only be about 30 mins he replies.
It is pretty hot outside, so the penguin decides to walk and get some ice cream. Thirty or so minutes later, the penguin is walking back to station while l**... his vanilla ice cream. Naturally, penguins aren't the cleanest eaters so some vanilla ice cream gets around his mouth and face.
When the penguin arrives, the mechanic greets him and says, It looks like you blew a seal!

What's the one vegetable you wish you bought when you have a flat tire?

Asparagus.

(Six months after buying a car)

Dave: They told me the car came with a jack but I didn't know-
JACK: *crawling out of trunk* no problem. Let's have a look at that flat tire.

What's the best kind of vegetable to have in your car if you get a flat tire?

Asparagus? (A spare I guess?)

What happens when the pizza guy gets a flat tire?

He calls a tomatow truck.

What do you call an ambulance with a flat tire?

A flatulence.

Four students carpool to school.

They had a final exam and wanted to impress their classmates, so they agreed to arrive 30 mins late for the exam.
As soon as they arrived late, their teacher asked them why they were late. The driver responded: "we had a flat tire sir"
The teacher said: "very well, why don't the four of you sit right there at the back"
They sat down and started writing their test, only for the teacher to get to them and say: "there's been a change in the exam for the four of you. Question 1: which tire was flat?"

Four college students get drunk together the night before their final exam.

They get so drunk that they wake up late and miss their exam. The four students go to the professor together and explain this elaborate lie that their car tire went flat when they were on their way to the exam. They beg for a retest, and the professor agrees.
The day of the makeup test, the four boys all arrive on time, completely sober. The professor looks at the boys, looks at his watch, and says you may begin the test.
The boys open the final booklet and to their surprise, they each only have one question.
Which tire was flat?

A man forgot to zip his trousers...

so a lady told him politely...
Sir your garage is open.
The man gave her a naughty smile and zipped his trousers and asked..
Did you see my Range Rover parked inside?
The lady smiled back and said..
No, just one small Toyota with two flat tires.

4 kids are at a party on sunday night

They wake up on Monday morning, and knowing they wouldn't be back in time to take a test, they emailed the professor and told him that they had a flat tire. The professor responded ok, you can take the test tomorrow
The next day the kids are at school. The professor says you all have to take the test in separate rooms
Fair the kids responded.
The first question was worth 5 points and said what is 5+5 .
Easy enough said one of the kids in their test room.
The second question was worth 95 points. It said which tire was flat

A guy and a girl get a flat tire one cold winter's night.

The guy goes out to change the tire, but he has no gloves, and after a while, his hands start to get blue, so he comes back into the car.
Put your hands between my thighs and that'll warm them up, invites the girl. He does, and pretty soon his hands recover, and he goes back outside. After a while longer, his hands get cold again, and once again, she suggests that he warm them between her thighs. He does so and returns to finish putting on the spare. When he comes back into the car triumphant, she looks at him and asks, Aren't your ears cold?

A Guy is on a second date with his Girlfriend, in a Yugo he bought for $500

He blows a tire and ends up taking it to the nearest tire shop, the technician asks him what the vehicle is, and he says a Yugo, technician says "sorry we dont work on bikes", he says no its a Car, technician says "oh, yeah we can order a tire for you" after doing some searching he tells the guy itll be about $520. Girlfriend laughs and says "YOU GOT A FLAT TIRE AND TOTALLED YOUR CAR"

A Mechanical Engineer, a software engineer and a purchasing agent...

..are on their way to an industry event when their rental car gets a flat tire. The purchasing agent says
"We need to buy a new tire"
the mechanical engineer says
"no, I think I can fix this one"
and the software engineer says,
"let's drive on it for a while, maybe it'll fix itself."

jokes about flat tire

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these flat tire jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.