Flat Earth Jokes
143 flat earth jokes and hilarious flat earth puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about flat earth that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Flat Earth Short Jokes
Short flat earth jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The flat earth humour may include short earth flat jokes also.
- Me: The earth isn't flat! fiat earther: correct
me: huh?
fiat earther: it's the shape of an Italian car
me: what?
fiat earther: you read my name wrong didn't you? - I debated a flat earther once he stormed off saying he'd walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong.
He'll come around, eventually. - The Earth's surface is 70% water. That water is uncarbonated. Therefore, the Earth is flat.
- Me: The earth isn't flat Me: The earth isn't flat.
Fiat earther: Correct.
Me: huh?
Fiat earther: It's shaped like an Italian car.
Me: what?
Fiat earther: You read my name wrong, didn't you? - I just got kicked out of flat earth Facebook groups because I asked if the 6 foot social distancing had pushed anyone over the edge yet.
- Why Don't We Have a Reality Show Where Flat Earthers Walk to the End of the Earth? Because that would be edgy
- I debated a flat earther once. He got so mad he stormed off saying he would walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong. He'll come around eventually.
- I had a debate with a flat earther. He said he'll walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong. I'm sure he'll come around.
- Earth is flat! I mean, when was the last time you came across naturally carbonated ocean water?
- Flat Earthers It's funny making a flat earth beliver angry, but if you push them over the edge then you're only proving them right.
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Flat Earth One Liners
Which flat earth one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with flat earth? I can suggest the ones about earth gravity and earth rotation.
- The Earth used to be flat, but then they buried yo mama.
- If the earth really is flat Wouldn't cats have pushed everything off the edge by now?
- the flat earth society ... ... has members all around the globe
- The earth is 80% water. None of that water is carbonated. The earth is flat.
- The Earth is 70% uncarbonated water Therefore the Earth is flat
- The Earth was flat.... ...until they buried yo mama.
- I don't really care if the earth is round or flat. Because it's pointless either way.
- Earth can not be flat Because if it was cats would have pushed everything from the edge
- The Earth is flat Over 70% of its surface is water, and none of it is carbonated.
- The Earth is 70% uncarbonated water... So it's technically flat.
- A have a joke about the Earth... but my friends say it's flat.
- Yo mama so fat The earth was actually flat until they buried her.
- The earth aint flat But it could be if yo momma fell over
- I used to beleive the earth was flat for 4 solid years Then I turned 5
- Why did the scientist's results show that the Earth was flat? Rounding error.
Cheeky Flat Earth Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about flat earth you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean planet earth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make flat earth pranks.
Everything can be reduced to a f**... joke ...
Even physics:
We know that everything on earth falls at the same rate of acceleration, 32 feet per second per second. The difference comes down to mass and wind resistance, as shown by a flat piece of paper and one balled up. This means that the determining factor in your total decent is how much wind you break!
The flat earth movement is really taking off..
There are flat earthers all around the globe
The Flat Earth Society
No further comments needed.
A flat earth conspiracist was boasting about how many people believe that the Earth is flat...
He said, We have supporters all around the globe!!!
Why are people into Flat Earth Theory?
Because it's edgy.
The Flat Earth Community
has supporters all around the globe.
Say what you want about the Modern Flat Earth Society...
But they have members all around the disk.
Did you hear the Flat Earth Society is really gaining ground?
They say they have members all around the globe now.
Important Announcement to the members of the Flat Earth Society
Annual Global Conference will be held this year 12th of May 2017 in Sydney (down under)
Where are Flat Earth believers?
All around the globe.
There are a bunch of flat earth theorists...
...They are all over the globe.
I like my women how I like my Earth
Flat.
The Flat Earth Society is huge
We have members all over the globe
Why will the flat earth theory never be popular?
Because they can't spread the word around
Why will the flat earth society never be popular?
Because they cant get the word a round.
Why do Flat Earthers hate The Beatles?
Because the Earth is round, it turns them off.
I went all around the earth
To prove it was flat
Did you hear about the flat earth society?
No? I hear that they are gaining new members from all around the globe.
Why can't Flat-Earthers watch the show Avatar?
Because they don't understand the concept of Earth-bending
I swear, if I hear someone tell me one more time the Earth is flat...
I'll push them right off the edge!
I used to be a Flat-Earther until I realized this
The Earth can't be flat because my life keeps on going downhill.
The earth is not flat!!!
It's a half sphere
This monday there will be a solar eclipse at 10am...
Followed shortly after by f**... proceedings for the Flat Earth Society.
I was arguing with a flat Earth believer
We argued about how many members the flat Earth community had. He said "We have members all around the globe".
I really hope there are no Golden Globe winners
working in the Flat Earth Society.
If you're a Flat Earth Society member, it must be hard to shoot hoop.
Frisbee's don't bounce very well.
I used to think the earth was flat...
But that was an all-round bad idea.
"Unlike most of you, I believe earth is flat"
"Wow, so edgy."
Flat Earth is not a myth
But rather a rounding error
Yo mama's so fat
If she ever fell over she would prove the flat earth society correct.
TIL the Earth produces global electromagnetic resonance with the highest peak frequency of 33.8Hz, slightly lower than a C#1 note with a frequency of 34.65Hz.
I guess you can say the earth is flat.
How news would spread on a flat Earth..
Across.
If the Earth is flat
then my belly is too
I used to believe in the flat earth theory
Then it dawned on me.
I think we should round up all the flat earthers, put them on a plane...
And just fly them off the edge of the earth.
If you push someone, they fall flat on the ground...
They don't fall round on the ground.
Therefore the Earth is flat!
Ive travelled the globe trying to convince people the earth is flat
No one understands the gravity of my message
Officer: This parking lot is for disabled only.
Person: Officer, the earth is flat.
Officer: Oh, I'm sorry for bothering you.
My friend asked me if I liked the girl in work who believes the flat earth theory
I said no because she lacks dimension
Explain this Flat-Earthers!
If the Earth is flat, why do Australians have to strap everything including themselves to the ground in order to not fall up?
What do you call a reasonable flat earth believer?
A well rounded guy.
What starts with C, ends with C and has C in the middle ?
The flat earth.
Why is telling flat earth society jokes so hard?
Because they are too s**... to understand.
Flat Earther pickup line
The Earth may be flat
but Uranus is round
The Earth IS flat!
Just look at a map!
Flat earthers are so close to the truth, but there are some obvious discrepancies . I've finally solved it...
Welcome to the Pringle Earth Society...and remember, once you see, you can't disagree.
People are so s**... sometimes...
They say the earth is flat... Of course it isn't it's got mountains.
Everyone who believes the earth is flat
please jump off the edge.
The Flat Earth Society held it's annual conference in Antarctica this year...
... but attendance fell off.
Two flat earthers die and go to heaven. At the pearly gates they have the chance to ask god any questions they want and get truthful answers, so one flat earther asks god "is the earth flat?" to which god answers "No."
The flat earther looks at the other and says "this goes higher than we thought".
The flat earth movement have a proud announcement to make:
We now have followers all around the globe.
What do you call an Austrian who believes in flat earth?
Nothing, they don't exist
Yo mama so fat...
When she was buried, the flat earthers announced the earth is not flat anymore.
All 8 planets are singing Happy Birthday to the Sun and it sounds terrible.
Everyone turns to Earth and Earth says, "don't look at me, I'm not flat"
How do you make your girlfriend stop believing in the Earth being flat?
You make her wear a dress that shows a map of the Earth.
I like my earth like I like my bread.
Flat
I asked a Flat Earther to tell me what the volume of the Earth was but he couldn't give me a good answer.
There was a significant rounding error.
My uncle is a staunch flat earth proponent
And a steam roller operator
I don't see how the earth can be round.
I mean, just look at how flat your sense of humor is.
A flat-earther and a guy walk into a bar...
Guy: Man, those flat-earthers are idiots!
Flat-Earther: I'll have you know, the flat-earth society has member all around the globe.
Never start fights with flat earth theorist!
They'll always go over the edge
My friend walked to the end of the world to prove the earth is flat
Eventually he came around
Join the flat earth society! We don't discriminate, because...
We have members all around the globe.
Yes. Flat earth is truly a global movement with a great sphere of influence.
Did you hear about the guy who tried to prove the Earth was flat by walking to the edge?
He finally came around.
Flat Earth theory debunked
We can say with certainty that the Earth is not flat because if it was cats would have tossed everything off the edge already.
My friend denies that the earth is flat.
What a baller.
Yo mamma so fat when she moves earth moves in opposite direction.
because it's flat, you dumb genius.
Want to know how I KNOW the Earth isn't flat?
Cats would've pushed everything off the edge by now.
I told my asian friend the earth was flat 3 times now
He still hasn't opened his eyes.
Did you hear that Rand McNally is trying to increase product sales by hiding evidence of a flat Earth?
Yes. It's a global conspiracy.
Flat Earthers say we've never truly seen real pictures of the earth
but I've never seen my dad and I know he's real
The Earth is not flat
Or there would be slimes everywhere.
A flat-Earther died, and to his surprise found himself standing on a cloud in front of the gates of heaven
A flat-Earther died, and to his surprise found himself standing on a cloud in front of the gates of heaven. God himself was there and told him he would be happy to answer any questions the man might have - about anything across the entirety of Space and Time.
So of course the man said - "Was I right? Is the earth actually flat?" and God chuckled and said "Of course not".
The man shook his head in disbelief, shaken to his very core, before murmuring "...this goes even higher than I thought..."
I've been nominated for president of the flat-earth society.
Not sure if I should feel flattered or if this is going to have a flipside.
The Covid19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
Coronavirus has been very stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
The real reason for the missing of many flat-earthers in recent weeks as suggested by their friends of similar thought
The Flat Earth Society has reported that the 6 foot social distancing measures have led to the pushing of some of their members over the edge.
