Flat Chest Jokes
35 flat chest jokes and hilarious flat chest puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about flat chest that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Flat chest jokes are a dime a dozen, but they can still be funny. Here are some of the best flat chest jokes out there.
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Funniest Flat Chest Short Jokes
Short flat chest jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The flat chest humour may include short big belly jokes also.
- What does it mean when a man looks deep into your eyes? it means that you are flat chested.
- So a 70ish year old grandpa randomly walked up to me in the gym and laid this one on me: What's the similarity between a flat chested woman and a stone?
You skip them both. - Me and my flat chested wife went to see a marriage counsellor today. The counsellor asked us; "What seems to be the problem?" "Well," I said, "Dolly Parton here thinks I'm too sarcastic."
- What can you tell, when a man gazes deeply into your eyes at the end of a date If at the end of the date, the man is gazing deeply into your eyes, it tells you one thing; you are flat chested
- What does a brick and your mom have in common? They are both flat-chested and laid by Mexicans.
Source: My old middle school. - What do you call a flat chested girl? Manchester
Mehboob
(translation from hindi : lover) - Why was the flat-chested college senior so well respected? Because she was the head of the Itty-Bitty-t**...-Committee.
(their influence and power knows no mounds)
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Flat Chest One Liners
Which flat chest one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with flat chest? I can suggest the ones about chest pain and belly fat.
- What do you call a flat chested musician? She♭
- Roses are red, violets ain't black Your mamma's chest, is as flat as her back.
- Roses are Red, Tires are Black So why is your chest as flat as your back?
- Yo' Mama is so flat, pirates can't wait to get their hands her a sunken chest.
- What do you do When you come across a flat chested stripper?
Aim for her face. - What do you call a nun with a flat chest? Unleavened bread
- Why did she fell face flat on the floor? because she was flat chested.
- Who translated "The Flat-Chested Woman" from the original Russian? Vasily Bithertitoff
- What's the best way to s**... a woman with a flat chest? Who cares?
Humorous Flat Chest Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about flat chest you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean flat feet jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make flat chest pranks.
A blonde girl called Jenny came skipping home after school.
"Mommy mommy! Today in school, everyone else only counted to 5, but I counted to 10!"
The mom replies, "That's great honey!"
Jenny then asks, "Is it because I'm blonde?"
"Yes sweetie" says the mom.
The next day, Jenny comes home skipping and calling out "Mommy mommy! Today after gym class, everyone was taking a shower and had flat chests! While I had these!"
Jenny lifts her tank top to reveal a pair of 36C's. "Is it because I'm blonde?"
Embarrassed, the mom replies, "No honey, it's because you're 24"
My wife's inappropriate Christmas dinner joke
Last night My wife and I were having Christmas dinner with her parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, and a German neighbor who is a widow. We were talking about messing up while cooking meals and I mentioned the first time I cooked a turkey I cooked it upside down. The neighbor was incredulous that I could make such a mistake and asked how I could possibly do this when the breast would be round and make it difficult to get the turkey to not roll.
My lame joke:
>"Maybe I just like flat breasted turkeys."
Wife looks down at her chest:
>"Well now I feel self-conscious... Wait, is that why you always turn me face down?"
Everybody starts roaring with laughter and her dad turned bright red.
Two guys meet up at a high school reunion
They start talking about people from their past.
"Hey, remember that flat chested girl Sam?"
"Oh yea, how she doing?"
"I just saw her like 15 minutes ago and now she's like this" - He holds his hands in front of his chest, fingers curled in.
"Oh, she got breast e**...?"
"No, she's got severe arthritis"
A Flat Chested Woman Is Getting Dressed...
When her husband of 20 years looks at her and says "Why do you even worry about wearing a bra?"
His wife quickly responds " I don't know, why do you wear underwear."
My Rooster Ramón
I used to have a Mexican rooster named Ramón. He liked to have s**... with anything that moved. I kept telling him that all this boning was going to kill him one day. Ramón just laughed about it and kept giving the animals the chorizo. Yesterday, I walked outside and saw Ramón lying flat on his back with dirt and dust spread across his chest. I ran to his side and said "Ramón, I told you all this b**... was going to kill you!" Ramón opened one eye, pointed to the sky, and quietly whispered in his thick Latin accent, "shhhhh buzzards!"
Hung like a baby....
There was a man and a woman who fell in love and decided to get hitched in Vegas. Before they walked into the chapel, the woman turns to the man and says: " Before we go through with this there is something you should know about me, I am flat chested"
The man responds: " Oh baby don't you worry about that. That does not make me love you any less. You are perfect the way you are"
The man continues: " While were on this subject there is something you should know about me, I'm hung like a baby"
The woman responds: "Oh honey, don'y you worry about that, you are still by fay perfect!"
The couple marry and move on to their honeymoon suite. The woman takes off her shirt, she is as flat as a washboard. The man takes off his pants. When the woman looked at him she fainted. A couple of minutes later the woman comes to. She asked the man: "You said you were hung like a baby!?"
The man replies: "I am, 8 pounds, 21 inches."
The Kindergartener
A girl came skipping home from school one day. Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10! Very good, said her mother. Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy? Yes, it's because you're blonde, her mother replied. The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G! Very good, said her mother. Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy? Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde. The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these! And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. Very good, said her embarrassed mother. Is it because I'm blonde, mommy? No, it's because you're 25.
Blonde schoolgirl
Jenny, a blonde girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" Jenny asked.
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "We were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"
"Very good, Jenny," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day Jenny came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"
And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No Honey, it's because you're 24
blondes
A girl came skipping home from school one day. Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! Very good, said her mother. Is it because I'm blonde? the girl said. Yes, it's because you're blonde, said the mommy. The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G! Very good, said her mother. Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy? Yes, it's because you're blonde. The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these! And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. Very good, said her embarrassed mother. Is it because I'm blonde, mommy? No Honey, it's because you're 24.
The City Health inspector walks into a new restaurant unannounced and takes a seat where he can see the kitchen.
While he is sitting there, an order goes back for a pizza.
The chef appears and the health inspector nearly chokes when he sees that he is not wearing a shirt.
As if the health inspector didn't already have enough fuel for his citation-writing pen, the chef proceeded to grab a lump of pizza dough and press it out flat on his bare chest.
Appalled, the health inspector had barely finished up when an order came back for a hamburger.
The cook proceeded to grab a handful of ground meat and pressed it into a perfect patty in his armpit.
Shocked an bewildered, the health inspector called for the manager and explained the gravity of the deplorable conditions he had seen.
"That's nothing," replied the manager, "You should come back at five in the morning when he makes the donuts!"