Flashy Jokes

Hilarious puns and funny pick up lines

I just bought some presents for my epileptic girlfriend's birthday

Just a few small gifts, nothing too flashy.

I bought a muzzle for my pet duck....

Nothing flashy, but it fits the bill.

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, Where'd you get that? '...

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, Where'd you get that? '

The student on the bike replies, While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want'.

The first student responds, Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you.

There once was a florist

There once was a florist with a fairly successful flower stand on the side of the road.

One day, three friars set up a competing flower stand across the street. Since everyone wanted to buy their flowers from the men of god, the florist began losing all his business to the friars. He tried everything from flashy advertising to lowering his prices to offering exotic flower types, but nothing worked and soon his business had run completely dry.

So one night, the florist hires a hitman named Hugh. Hugh goes across the street, smashes the friars' flowers and pots and breaks up their stand - proving once and for all that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

A Farmer Sends his Son to Town for Supplies

He tells him to visit the commons as there are sure to be reputable merchants selling their wares at this time of year.

But on the way the son gets waylaid by a strange man with big flashy signs advertising the latest in imported tools. All his neighbors are also there buying this man's tools, so the farmer's son goes along with what they are doing.

When the son gets home, he tries to fit his oxen with a newly acquired yoke but it doesn't fit right. When he finally gets it on the oxen and tries to plow the field, the yoke snaps in half.

The farmer tells his son "I hope you have learned a valuable lesson. The real yoke is always in the commons."

Looking for a muzzle for my pet duck.

Don't need anything flashy as long as it fits the bill.

My girlfriend used to do flashy shows on a chair for me.

It was electrical.

I ran into an old acquaintance from school the other day.

He always liked to brag and the years didn't change that as he stood there telling me about how great his life is. He told me about how he landed this miracle job, he showed me pictures of his flashy Mercedes, his house in the countryside then showed more pictures telling me to "take a look at my gorgeous wife".

I said, "If you think she's gorgeous, you should see my wife."

"Oh, is she a stunner too?", He asked.

"No, she's an optician." I replied.

Two men are discussing what they got their wives for Christmas...

The flashy guy says, "I got my wive a pink Cadillac and a diamond ring." The humble guy replies, "Why did you choose that combo?" Flashy responds, "Well, if she doesn't like the diamond ring I picked out, she can always drive herself back to the store and pick out a new one! ... So, what did you get your wife?"
The humble guy thinks about it and says, "Well, I, kind of, got the same thing: pink slippers and a dildo." The flashy guy looks perplexed. "Why did you get her that?" he asks. Humble replies, "Well, if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself."

Source: My dad on a camping trip.

Did you hear about the guy who died of an epileptic fit?

He had a very flashy ending

What is Louis C.K.s favourite car for 2017?

A Ford Exhibitionist, great car I hear, real flashy.

I asked my epileptic friend, What do you want for your birthday?

He said, I hope it's nothing too flashy.

What are the funniest flashy jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Flashy? Well, here are the best Flashy puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Flashy pick up lines to share with friends.

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