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Flash Drive Jokes

39 flash drive jokes and hilarious flash drive puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about flash drive that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Flash Drive Short Jokes

Short flash drive jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The flash drive humour may include short hard drive jokes also.

  1. I noticed a car following me on my drive home I don't know why they thought they'd get away with it, the flashing lights made it really obvious.
  2. The creator of the USB flash drive died today. He was lowered into his coffin, flipped over, and then lowered again.
  3. Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section. I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
  4. The robot stabbing What's the robot equivalent of a poisoned dagger?

    A flash drive with a computer virus.
  5. What does the goddess IO help you to do? To connect flash drives correctly on the first try.

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Flash Drive One Liners

Which flash drive one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with flash drive? I can suggest the ones about flashlight and flasher.

  1. What is it called when Barry Allen commandeers a car. A Flash Drive.
  2. Thinking about the time I glued flash drives to a boomerang .. Brings back memories
  3. How do clowns store files? They store them on a flash drive with 32 gigglebytes of space.
  4. What do you call a nudist in car? A flash drive. Christ, I'm dumb
  5. how did the Floppy drive turn into a Hard drive ...By a flash drive
  6. What data service is red and wireless? Flash-Drives
  7. TIFU by taking the wrong flash drive to my work presentation Whoops wrong USB
  8. What do you call an essay in a flash drive??? who wants 2 try?
  9. I have pictures of girls showing their t**.... I keep them on my flash drive.

Comedy Flash Drive Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle

What funny jokes about flash drive you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean floppy disk jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make flash drive pranks.

*RANT TIME* Please can we stop with the flashing blue outdoor Christmas lights this year ?

Every time I come around the corner, I think it's the police and I have a panic attack.
I have to brake hard, toss my wine out the window, hide the w**..., fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn my radio down, and push the machete under the seat, all while trying to drive.
It's just too much drama, even for Christmas.
Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.

A note to the guy behind me driving to work this morning.

Dear guy behind me driving to work this morning,
Don't get mad at me for driving the speed limit. It's there to keep people safe!
And don't get mad at me for not getting out of your way. You don't own the road!
And don't ever flash your lights and honk your horn at others to make them move...geez. Such a rude ambulance driver!

Werner Heisenberg is driving down a highway...

...when he sees a police car is flashing its lights at him. He pulls over, and so does the cop. The cops gets out, taps on Heisenberg's window, he rolls it down.
"Sir," the cop asks, "do you know how fast you were going?"
"No," Heisenberg replies, "but I know where I am."

A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign, hit his car broadside, and knocked him out cold.

A Passersby pulled him from the wreckage and revived him.
He began an Epic struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he had calmed down, they asked him why he had struggled so.
He said, a bit sheepishly, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of this huge, flashing sign. Turns out somebody was standing in front of the 'S' on the 'Shell' sign."

A retired man is driving his brand new, top end sports car down an empty road and decides to open it up...

(Sorry if this joke has been told on here before)
All of a sudden he sees flashing lights behind him. Speeds up at first, thinks better of it, slows down and pulls over.
Cop comes up to the window and says to the man "I got you for speeding, but I would like to know why you sped up before you stopped for me."
The man looks back at the cop and says "Ex-wife left me for a cop, thought you were trying to give her back."

Pull over

An old woman was driving and knitting on the motorway. She was serving across the lanes when a police car overtook her flashing all the lights.
As it drew level a policeman wound down his window and shouted to her "Pull over!".
"No" she shouted back. "Pair of socks!"

This summer was driving down the highway when it saw police lights flashing in its rear view window...

It, being the good summer it is, pulls over and the cop approaches its car window. The officer leans in and says, Summer, do you know fast you were going?
Summer, without hesitation, lights a cigarette and puffs, I don't know, Sir. Too fast?

A farmhand hits a pig with his truck

A farmhand is driving around the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, "Boss, I've got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he's stuck in the bull-bars of my truck. He's still wriggling. What should I do?"
"In the back of your truck there's a shotgun. Shoot the pig in the head and when it stops wriggling you can pull it out and throw it in a bush." The farm worker says okay and signs off.
About 10 minutes later he radios back. "Boss I did what you said, I shot the wiggling pig and dragged it out and threw it in a bush."
"So what's the problem now?" his Boss snapped. "The blue light on his motorcycle is still flashing!"

Speeder

A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace.
Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for Driving without a seat belt.

Super fast Nano

A tata nano breaks down on a roadside. A BMW 750Li stops to help the driver.
"I will tow you to the next service station, but if I drive too fast please flash your lights."
They start up slowly but only a km or so down the line a Porsche speeds pas 150km/hour.
The BMW driver totally forgets about the Nano and guns it after the Porsche.
Just as all 3 of them tear through a speed trap, the cop radios the HQ," calling all stations: you won't believe this, I just saw a BMW and a Porsche racing past about 190km/hour with a Nano behind them flashing its lights to overtake."
(Nano is the cheapest car)

"Fifty Bucks is Fifty Bucks" reminded me of this one.

A man and his wife were driving from New York to California. Along the way the wife would find every little thing wrong with her husband's driving.
"You're driving too fast." "You missed that exit." "You're tailgating."
This went on throughout the trip. As their car crossed the border into Colorado, a cop flashed his lights and the man pulled over. The cop walks up to the driver's side and the man rolls down his window.
"Hey, Buddy, didn't you notice your wife fell out of the car about a quarter-mile back?"
The man said to the cop: "Thank God, I thought I went deaf."

Old couples

An old man and his wife were driving through town, with the wife chattering away. Arriving downtown, the man had to navigate several turns to get to his destination. Suddenly he noticed flashing lights in his mirror and pulled over. The officer approached the car and asked, "Mister, didn't you notice that your wife fell out of the car when you went around that turn back there?"
The man looked over at the passenger seat and saw that it was indeed empty and that the door was ajar. Turning back to the cop he said, "Thank goodness, I thought that I'd gone deaf!"

The VW Genie

A man was driving his brand new Rolls Royce. At the signal this beaten up Beetle stops next to him, and tells him "Nice car! I'm willing to swap you with my car for a $1,000,000"
The rich guy looks at him and says "why would I want your car?"
At this point the VW's driver rubs the steering wheel and out comes a genie. He tells him "I'd like to have some tea". In a flash it's in his hand.
The Rolls' owner goes berserk, gives him the money and the Rolls, and takes the Beetle.
He drives up to his mansion, and everybody is wondering why he'd be driving a car like that. Proudly, he rubs the steering wheel, and out comes the genie. He tells him "I want a million dollars in cash!"
The genie says "Sorry, sir. I just do tea & coffee"

On a limo driver's first day at work...

He was commisioned to drive the Pope to the airport within the hour. Unfortunately, being a new driver, he got lost.
"It's all right, my son. I used to drive these streets in my youth. We'll get there in time."
The Pope took the wheel with the limo driver sitting in the back seat. He drove like an expert, taking sharp turns easily. The Pope, not wanting to be late for his flight, didn't realize how fast he was going. Soon the red and blue lights flashed behind him.
"It will be okay, son." The Pope reassured the limo driver, who was nervous about getting fired.
The police officer walked up to the driver's side. The Pope lowered the window, to the officer's surprise.
"Uh, do you know how fast you were going, your Holiness?"
"I didn't mean to, sir. It won't happen again."
The officer let the him off with a warning. He then called into dispatch.
"Any problems, officer?"
"No, ma'am...just stopped a really important person."
"How important?"
"Im not sure, but his driver was the Pope!"

Fun with police

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local pub. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.
After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night) flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained stationery for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left.
At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the road. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyser test. To his amazement, the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyser equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it", said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy."

A joke.

A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace. Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.