Flames Jokes
70 flames jokes and hilarious flames puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about flames that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Come and laugh at some of the best Flames jokes and puns around! From names like burnt Oilers to jokes about the fireplace, these jokes will make you burst into flames with laughter!
Funniest Flames Short Jokes
Short flames jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The flames humour may include short flaming jokes also.
- I heard some guy tell two terrible Malaysian Airline jokes... The first one got no response and the second one was shot down in flames
- My buddy once took a date to see the world's oldest lit candle but it didn't go well. Turns out you really shouldn't take your date to see an old flame.
- Do you know why Ducks have big flat feet? So they can stomp out forest fires.
Do you know why elephants have big flat feet?
So they can stomp out flaming Ducks. - Some guy at the bar I went to last night told two horrible jokes about Malaysia Airlines. The first one received no response and the second one was shot down in flames.
- Why do ducks have big flat feet? To stomp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have big flat feet?
To stomp out flaming ducks. - An ice cube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. Bunsen... My flame...I melt whenever I see you," confessed the ice cube.
* Chill, it's just a phase you're going through. * - When I asked the tattoo artist to cover my arms with flames, they refused. I don't have a firearms permit.
- I feel the same way about slaves as I do shirts with flame patterns on them I don't want to be friends with anyone who owns either of them
- The Greeks made a weapon that caught things on fire and could not be put out with water, it only made the flames bigger. They called it Greece fire.
- Trying to locate an old flame called Emma. Last I know she moved abroad 6 years ago.
Surname: Grated
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Flames One Liners
Which flames one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with flames? I can suggest the ones about burns and fire burn.
- What's a tired dragon's favorite steak? Flaming yawn
- What do you call a Flaming Homosexual? A hate crime.
- i put tinder on my kindle it burst into flames
- Do you know what's at stake for the tired dragon? Flaming yawn.
- What do you call a mentally disabled firefighter? Flame retardant
- Bought a new jacket the other day and it burst into flames. Well, it was a blazer.
- What do you call a flaming bird that can't fly?? Walking Phoenix
- What do you call a jacket that goes up in flames? A blazer
- Whaddya call a flaming Jewish Congratulatory Drink? A Mazel Tov Cocktail!
- What cut of steak does a fire breather prefer? Flaming yawn
- A flower shop burst into flame... It was a florist fire.
- What do you get when Charizard uses a flame attack on his trainer? Ash.
- What does a flame smell like? Burnt nose hair.
- Army soldiers have always helped flames. They like supporting fire.
- A Chemist with a broken arm fell in some lava His splint went up in flames
Burst Flames Jokes
Here is a list of funny burst flames jokes and even better burst flames puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How is France like francium? They both burst into flames when coming in contact with anything.
- A lawyer and a priest are walking down the street, when the lawyer sneezes. "Bless you", says the priest. The lawyer promptly burst into flames.
- What's the difference between a ginger girl and a vampire? One bursts into flames in the sunlight, and the other is a vampire.
- John Boehner is lucky Pope Francis didn't splash any holy water on him. He wouldn't have been crying. He would have burst into flames.
- The United CEO, the Pepsi head of marketing, and Sean Spicer walk into a bar. The bar bursts into flames.
- An old southern farmer is out one day with his dog repairing a fence row when suddenly part of it bursts into flames.. Wow I did not expect this post to blow up.
- Christopher Nolan was directing a scene when the chopper Batman was flying suddenly burst into flames. Nolan yelled, "CHRISTIAN, BAIL!!"
- In World War 2 Chuck Norris Pointed his Fingers at an enemy zero and said BANG, The plane burst into flames and crashed.
- What is it called when you insult an Indian so bad that he bursts into flames? A Sikh burn
- What do you call a neo-n**... that's burst into flames A fire c**...
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Flames Jokes
What funny jokes about flames you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bonfire jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make flames pranks.
The last time I had a conversation about the Hindenburg
It went up in flames.
I bet those firemen get good internet connections when they are fighting flames...
cuz they are in the center of the hotspot.
A man on fire
A man is filling up his car tank with gasoline and accidentally gets some on his hand. He doesn't notice it, so when he gets into his car he lights a cigarette. His arm instantly catches on fire. The man sticks his arm out the window and begins to wave it around attempting to blow out the flames crawling up his sleeve. A policeman sees the man struggling with his arm on fire and arrests him on the spot for an unlicensed firearm.
Tough choice in Florida governor's race...
Charlie Crist and Rick Scott are standing at opposite ends of a theater when both men spontaneously burst into flames and there's only one fire extinguisher in the entire building!
Where would you hide the fire extinguisher?
U.S male active duty and veterans...on this special day, make sure to call up all your old flames, current lovers. Wives and girlfriends as well as any others who helped you out during long deployments and say.....
"Thank you for your c**...!"
A statistician has half his body encased in ice and the other half engulfed in flames.
So on average, they felt fine.
I tried to light a candle...
but that idea went down in flames.
Why is Mortal Kombat X popular among SJWs?
Because it has the Block Button.
*cue the flames*
Makes sense Apple fans would buy a MacBook candle...
...They're already used to the smell of burning synthetic materials and watching their money go up in flames.
Samsung announced today a new line of Galaxy phones that are certified to be water resistant...
It's nice to know that you won't be able to put out the flames once they catch fire.
What's the difference between a dishwasher and the Calgary Flames?
The dishwasher holds more than one cup!
Stopped by the police
I spilled some gas on my sleeve while gassing up one day. Got back on the highway and lit up a smoke and started my sleeve on fire. I put my arm out the window but the flames did not go away. I sped up to 70 then 80 when I noticed the flashing lights behind me. The cop says "looks like I'm going to have to write you a couple of tickets " I said I know I was speeding but what else?"
"Possession of a firearm sir "
Irishman and the fire
Firemen receive a call that the local bar is on fire. They rush over to the local bar and sure enough, the whole bar is aflame.
They sweep into the burning bar to check for survivors and find a man face down on the floor. They pull him from the flames, soot-ridden and unconscious, they slap him awake.
"What happened! How did the fire start?!" they ask him.
"How should I know?" says the Irishman. "It was already on fire when I went in.."
There was a snail who took his brand new sports car into the body shop and got a custom paint job.
He asked for racing stripes, flames, lightning bolts…you name it.
But there was one thing about the paint job the body shop owner just couldn't understand.
The snail wanted a big S on the driver's and passenger's doors.
When asked about them the snail said:
When I drive by someone at high speed I want them to say 'Look at that S-car go.'
A young first officer asks his Captain
A young first officer asks his Captain,
"Sir, why does not my ability evolve. I don't seem to be getting better at flying?"
And the Captain patiently answers: "Son, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seem like flames?"
"Yes, my sir, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones but without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, sir, I have already witnessed it."
"Then the moon .. when it touches the calm water reflecting all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, sir, I have also observed this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all these s**... things instead of focusing on flying the aircraft."
Why is AI the future of firefighting?
Humans can only see 30 flames per second
A Pharoah makes a reservation at a ski resort...
Pharaoh: I'd like to make a reservation for two please.
Attendant: Absolutely. Can I get your name please.
Pharoah: "Neferneferuaten"
Attendant: ...can you spell that out for me?
Pharaoh: Bird, double triangle, wavy line, dog head, more bird, flames..."
Ig the Knight
Once upon a time, there was a soldier named Ig. In a recent battle, Ig showed courage and bravery, saving 20 men by himself!
To honour Ig's heroic act, the Queen of the kingdom was to knight him. Ig knelt before Her Majesty, as she tapped each shoulder of his with a sword. As she finished, Ig the Knight burst into flames! The Queen, astonished by what happened, asked her squire why he lit on fire.
Stunned, the squire spoke, "Ig...Knighted..."
There was a fire at a p**... dispensary this morning
Reports indicate that the flames were pretty high
I saw a woman once
Who was smoking a cigarette at a gas station while she filled her car. She pulled out the nozzle and gas shot everywhere and her arm was immediately engulfed in flames. She starts waving it around and a cop saw it and shot her dead. She was waving an i**... fire arm.
A beta tester walks into a bar
A beta tester runs into a bar
A beta tester crawls into a bar
A beta tester moonwalks into a bar
A beta tester jumps into a bar
A beta tester sneaks into a bar
A beta tester orders 1 beer
A beta tester orders 2 beers
A beta tester orders 0 beers
A beta tester orders 999999999 beers
A beta tester orders -1 beers
A beta tester orders qwertyuip beers
A beta tester orders a lizard in a cup
A regular user walks into the bar and asks if he can use their toilet
The bar erupts into flames and burns to the ground.
A man is walking down the street an sees that his favorite brothel is on fire
He selflessly runs into the flames and comes back out with a dwarf s**... worker. When asked why he rescued her, he says "I always save a little fellator"
A man was sent to h**... after his death..
As he was being led into the pits for an eternity of torment, he saw a lawyer passionately kissing a beautiful woman.
What a joke! he said. I have to roast in flames for all eternity and that lawyer gets to spend it with that beautiful woman. Satan jabbed the man with his pitchfork and snarled, Who are you to question that woman's punishment?
There was a fire at my local model village today
Eye witness reports claim that flames could be seen from up to 3 feet away
A software tester walks into a bar
Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 999999999 beers. Orders a bear. Orders -1 beers. Orders hdtseatfibkd.
First real customer walks into a bar and asks where the bathroom is. The bar bursts into flames killing everyone inside.
A software tester walks into a bar.
Runs into a bar.
Crawls into a bar.
Dances into a bar.
Flies into a bar.
Jumps into a bar.
And orders:
a beer.
2 beers.
0 beers.
99999999 beers.
a lizard in a beer glass.
\-1 beer.
"qwertyuiop" beers.
Testing complete.
A real customer walks into the bar and asks where the bathroom is.
The bar goes up in flames.
A software tester walks into a bar.
Runs into a bar.
Crawls into a bar.
Dances into a bar.
Flies into a bar.
Jumps into a bar.
And orders:
a beer.
2 beers.
0 beers.
99999999 beers.
a lizard in a beer glass.
\-1 beer.
"qwertyuiop" beers.
Testing complete.
A real customer walks into the bar and asks where the bathroom is.
The bar goes up in flames.
A software tester walks into a bar
Backs into a bar.
Runs into a bar.
Crawls into a bar.
Dances into a bar.
Flies into a bar.
Jumps into a bar.
And orders:
a beer.
2 beers.
0 beers.
987654321 beers.
a lizard in a beer glass.
\-1 beer.
"qwertyuiop" beers.
Testing complete.
A regular customer walks into the bar and asks where the bathroom is.
The bar bursts into flames.
My girlfriend said she's getting a massive tattoo on her back of an anaconda surrounded by flames.
"Do you think it will hurt?" I asked.
"Probably," she replied, "it will take many hours."
I said, "I meant being single."
