Flags Jokes
138 flags jokes and hilarious flags puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about flags that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Do you love red flags, green flags, and six flags? Get ready for some hilarious jokes about flags from around the world. Explore the patriotism, memorabilia, and cosmonauts of each flag, and learn why sometimes a good red flag is the best thing you can have.
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Funniest Flags Short Jokes
Short flags jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The flags humour may include short signals jokes also.
- My dad said people shouldn't get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing. So I took down his confederate flag.
- My boyfriend keeps talking about overthrowing capitalism in a violent revolution Could this be a red flag?
- I dumped my last girlfriend because she was a communist. I should've known sooner. There were red flags everywhere.
- My girlfriend's red flags wouldn't have bothered me so much ....if they didn't have swastikas on them.
- We should've known about the failure of communism In retrospect, there were a lot of red flags...
- I broke up with my girlfriend because she was a communist. To be honest, there were a lot of red flags
- Pretty soon the only place you will be able to buy a Confederate flag will be the black market. Oh the irony.
- I broke up with my girlfriend after 5 years, after I found she was a communist. I should have known, there were red flags everywhere
- No one should have been surprised by the rise of the USSR after World War II. I mean, there were red flags everywhere.
- TIL The American flag on the moon has turned white due to radiation Now it looks like the French landed on the moon
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Flags One Liners
Which flags one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with flags? I can suggest the ones about feat and spots.
- We should've known communism would fail. There were a lot of red flags.
- I should've known my boyfriend was a communist. There were plenty of red flags.
- I should have known my friend was a communist. All the red flags were there.
- What are the two problems with the french flag? The red bit and the blue bit.
- What's the biggest advantage of living in Switzerland? Well the flag's a big plus.
- What do you get if you take off the red dot on the Japanese flag? The French flag!
- Why did the girl not want to date the communist? He was waving a lot of red flags.
- What's the worst thing about Austria? I don't know, but the flag is a big minus.
- What's an advantage of being Swiss? The flag is a big plus.
- There are many advantages of visiting Switzerland I mean, the flag itself is a big plus.
- Flying the Confederate flag doesn't make you a racist. It's usually the other way around.
- Communism's fall shouldn't have come as a surprise There were many red flags
- I ended things with my communist girlfriend. Too many red flags.
- I should've known my girlfriend was a communist... There were so many red flags.
- He said he was a communist. I should've known darnit, there were red flags everywhere.
Red Flags Jokes
Here is a list of funny red flags jokes and even better red flags puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- TIL the American flag on the moon has turned into the French flag. Due to solar radiation, the red and blue pigment has disappeared, leaving the flag to be completely white.
- Stalin should have known that Communism wouldn't work. I mean, there were red flags everywhere.
- My girlfriend left me because of my unhealthy obsession with USSR memorabilia... She said there were too many red flags!
- A girl I was dating invited me over to her place. When I went into her room, she had a Soviet banner draped on her wall. I left immediately. It was a big red flag.
- I just found out my best friend is a communist. To be honest, I should have known. All the red flags were there.
- People really should have known what was going to happen with Communism There were so many red flags
- I once dated a girl from Tunisia Her dad was from Trinidad and Tobago and her mum was from Morocco. Broke up with her in the end though. Too many red flags
- How did we not know that Communism was bad from the start? So many red flags.
- I broke up with my girlfriend because she wanted me to cosplay as Lenin I should've known, there were red flags everywhere.
- I broke up with my girlfriend after she told me she was a communist. In retrospect, I should have seen all the red flags
Green Flags Jokes
Here is a list of funny green flags jokes and even better green flags puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My optometrist says I'm colorblind. I should have realized it a long time ago... I mean, there were green flags everywhere.
- I just found out I'm colorblind. I should have realized it years ago - I mean, there were green flags everywhere.
- My girlfriend said she'll leave me if I don't support LGBTQ That's a bit of a red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet flag.
- What does the green in the American flag stand for? Being a reliable ally.
- There is a green flag for good, a red flag for bad, and a white flag for Italy
- Why is Mexico's flag green, white, and red? Guacamole, sour cream, and salsa.
- g**... on left Thats how you remember how the Mexican flag looks.
Green-goes-on left.
PS: Not my joke, heard it on the radio today.
Flags Planted Jokes
Here is a list of funny flags planted jokes and even better flags planted puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- TIL the american flag planted on the moon is now completely white due to radiation from the sun. Great, now future archeologists are gonna think the French got there first.
- The American flag that was planted on the moon has turned white due to solar radiation. Now future historians will think the French got there first.
Six Flags Jokes
Here is a list of funny six flags jokes and even better six flags puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- There are six American flags on the Moon. Five of them are still standing. Due to the strong UV radiation, they are all completely white by now.
So it looks like the French landed there. - Why are all the emos banned from Six Flags? Because they keep cutting in line
- How mad was the man when he couldn't get his family a ride? Mad as a midget at a Six Flags!
- Why do Mexicans love six flags ... Because they can get a abortion and go on rides
Laughable Flags Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about flags you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean marks jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make flags pranks.
Joke about how dangerous China is
An American tourist came to China and fell into a construction ditch, he came out, injured, and angrily told the tour guide, "In America, in a dangerous area, we always put up red flags to warn people! Why wasn't there one here?"
The Chinese tour guide very calmly replied, "Didn't you already see it when you entered the country?"
Romney was asked about the Chinese going to the moon...
He responded that when they are up there, they will be able to see the flag we planted over 40 years ago. This is a pretty clever comeback. But the last laugh is on us. The US flags are now all beached white due to the unprotected exposure to the sun's UV radiation. This means the Chinese will think the French made it first.
A grasshopper walks into a bar...
He walks up to the bar, and takes a seat. He flags the bartender down and orders a beer. The bartender does a double take but complies and brings the grasshopper a beer. After handing him his beer, the bartender says "You know we have a drink named after you"?. The grasshopper looks up from his beer, shoots the bartender a quizzical look and says "You got a drink named Ted"?
So the pope coes to New York...
and flags a taxi. The taxi is extremely suprised to see the pope, and quickly ushers him into his cab. After a few minutes of silence, the pope says to the taxi driver "You know, being the pope, I've always have people drive me places, and I rarely get the chance to drive myself. Would you mind if I got behind the wheel for a little while?" Not wanting to say no to the pope, the taxi driver lets him drive. They get pulled over by the police soon after, since the pope was driving way over the speed limit. The officee walks up to the cab, is about to give them ticket, until he sees the pope. Not sure of what to do in this sitution, he calls his superior. "Sir, I just pulled over this guy for speeding, and he's *really* important. What do I do?" "Well who is the guy, the mayor?" "Nah, bigger than that" " Is he a movie star?" " No, way bigger than that" "Is he the president?" "No, he's bigger than that" "Well then who is he!?" "I dunno, but he's got the pope driving for him!"
Home safety
I took my name off the Neighborhood Watch List.
I've got two Pakistani flags raised in my front garden, one at each corner and the black flag of ISIS in the center.
The local police, and multiple intelligence services are watching my house 24/7.
I've never felt safer in my entire Life!
Wet Mail
A man one morning walks out to his mailbox to get his mail. He opens the door, reaches in, and he can feel that the mail is all wet. He gets very upset that his mail is soggy and ruined. He flags down the mailman who has not made it very far and asks..
"Whats the deal with the wet mail?!"
The mailman stone faced looks back at the man and says
"It's because there is Postage Dew."
I installed a new home alarm system I've never felt safer
I've disconnected my home alarm system and de-registered from the Neighborhood Watch.
I've got two Pakistani flags raised in the front yard, one at each corner, and the black flag of ISIS in the center.
The local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I've never felt safer and I am saving $49.95 a month.
Just saved 50 bucks!
I've disconnected my home alarm system and de-registered from the Neighborhood Watch. I've got two Pakistani flags raised in the front yard, one at each corner, and the black flag of ISIS in the center. The local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I've never felt safer and I'm saving $49.95 a month!
They really should have predicted the fall of Communism sooner.
After all, there were plenty of red flags.
Took down my rebel flag and peeled off my NRA sticker off the front door.
We have disconnected our home alarm system and quit the candy-a**... neighborhood watch. We bought two Pakistani flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard, one at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS in the center. Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I have never felt safer and we're saving $49.99 a month!
It was four months into my relationship that I found out my girlfriend was a communist
She started giving me red flags
I was on a date other day when the girl said she wanted to start a long distance relationship using semaphore.
Raised a couple of red flags...
My friends asked me what I liked about Switzerland
Well the flags a big plus.
The i**... protesting with Mexican flags, shouting "Trump is not my President" are telling the truth.
Their president is Enrique Peña Nieto.
My friend was dating a communist
He should have noticed earlier; there were a lot of red flags.
Just found out I was dating a c**...
Guess I should've noticed the red flags earlier
I should have broken up with my boyfriend when he showed me his collection of Soviet memorabilia...
I mean, the red flags were right there in front of me.
I just broke up with my communist girlfriend.
There just were too many red flags.
I got fired from my mail route today.
They said I wasn't picking up people's mail. I should have seen it coming though, there were red flags everywhere.
Apparantly all flags on the moon have faded to white by now.
Now the French can claim to have been there.
Two guys from the 50's
Two guys from the 50's were talking out front of one's house.
The first neighbor says to the other, " what do you think of that new family, the Petrov's?"
The second neighbor looks at him and replies, " I don't know if they're commies Teddy, but they sure do raise a lot of red flags."
A communist revolution seems a bit suspicious
I mean, they always raise a few red flags.
I recently visited China and was considering moving there...
...but there were just too many red flags.
I should've realized sooner my trip to China would be a huge disappointment.
Red flags were everywhere.
I just started dating this girl and there have been several red flags...
...but I guess that just comes with the territory when dating a communist.
Its no wonder communism failed
there were so many red flags
Lenin should have known Communism would fail.
All the red flags were there.
The President of Iran calls Trump & tells him "I had a dream last night...."
"New York was in ruins & aflame, with Iranian flags flying above."
Trump replies: "Funny, I had a dream last night too. Teheran beautiful and prosperous, happy people celebrating in the streets, with big banners hanging everywhere."
"What did the banners say?", asked the Iranian President.
"I don't know," Trump answers, "I can't read Hebrew."
Went on a date with a race official the other night...
She seemed nice but there were too many red flags
No leader or government should establish communism in their country...
...after all, in history, there have been so many red flags.
We should've known communism was doomed to fall.
There were a lot of red flags.
It was obvious that Communism would fail.
There were just so many red flags.
Stalin should've known communism was a bad thing
There were red flags everywhere
All of the flags on the moon have been bleached white by the radiation from the sun..
.. making it officially French territory.
Did you know that Solar Radiation has turned the American Flags on the Moon White?
Great... Now people will think France has been there
[Oh, yeah?] My ex-wife cheated on me with a communist!
...there were so many red flags.
Apparently NASCAR is banning all Confederate flags from its races.
But how will drivers know they've entered the last lap of the race? 🏳
So NASCAR has decided to ban confederate flags at all events...
Looks like all those years of turning left rubbed off on them.
The US confederate flags supporters should be proud.
They are part of a long line of countries that lost wars to the USA.
Why do colourblind people s**... at dating?
Because they fail to see the red flags in a relationship
I went to Soviet Russia once
I knew I made a mistake, Because I saw all the Red flags
I once dated a girl and she threw up a bunch of red flags.
It turned out that she was an avid communist.
I once dated a girl and she threw up a bunch of red flags..
It turned out she had eaten a bunch of red flags.
Why didn't the Soviet Union work?
Because it had a few red flags.
I broke up with my girlfriend because I found out she is a communist.
I should have known. There were red flags everywhere.
If Pride Flags exist; there must be Shame Flags
Which explains the Stars and Bars of the Confederacy
Why are racecar drivers the best people to go to for dating advice?
They're trained to look for red flags.
Fact of the day: Stalin actually knew Communism won't work
There were red flags everywhere
Why did Trump lose?
Too many red flags.
Why are flags the most e**... of cloths?
Because when the wind blows, they do pole dances.
What do relationship advice and communist p**... have in common?
There are loads of red flags involved.
I used to live in Turkey, China, and Morocco, but I left ...
there were too many red flags.
How did we know that Communism was bad from the start?
Because of all the red flags.
I discovered that my boyfriend is a communist spy.
I guess I could have noticed this sooner, but chose to ignore the red flags.
It should be obvious to everyone that communism won't work.
I mean seriously, there were so many red flags.
I just don't get how the german people could fall for h**... and the n**...
There were an awful lot of red flags.
broke up with the girlfriend because she was always up my a**... about being colour blind and a dozen other things
too many grey flags
When I started dating my communist girlfriend I should have known things wouldn't work out…
So many red flags
My partner is a diehard communist and loves China and Russia.
I saw red flags on day one but ignored them.
Never trust someone that enjoys a Soviet parade
There are a lot of red flags.
My dad was arrested for persistently stealing the equipment of beach lifeguards...
I blame myself that I didn't see it sooner; after all, the last time I'd gone to see him there were plenty of red flags...
I once took a test on waving signal flags.
They told me I passed with flying colors.
I was disappointed that my sister started dating a guy who praised Stalin, idolized Karl Marx, and was working to form a union at work
I don't know she missed all the red flags
Trump comes to the fortune teller
Trump comes to the fortune teller and asks how she sees his future.
She looks into the crystal ball and says:
You are travelling down the Constitution Ave. On both sides are cheering and happy crowds with flags and flowers...Go on, tell me more! Jumps Trump.
Everyone is happy, people are hugging each other, continues the fortune teller.
And they shake my hands? Trump interrupts again.
No, the coffin is closed.