Laughable Flags Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
We should've known communism would fail.
There were a lot of red flags.
Joke about how dangerous China is
An American tourist came to China and fell into a construction ditch, he came out, injured, and angrily told the tour guide, "In America, in a dangerous area, we always put up red flags to warn people! Why wasn't there one here?"
The Chinese tour guide very calmly replied, "Didn't you already see it when you entered the country?"
Romney was asked about the Chinese going to the moon...
He responded that when they are up there, they will be able to see the flag we planted over 40 years ago. This is a pretty clever comeback. But the last laugh is on us. The US flags are now all beached white due to the unprotected exposure to the sun's UV radiation. This means the Chinese will think the French made it first.
A grasshopper walks into a bar...
He walks up to the bar, and takes a seat. He flags the bartender down and orders a beer. The bartender does a double take but complies and brings the grasshopper a beer. After handing him his beer, the bartender says "You know we have a drink named after you"?. The grasshopper looks up from his beer, shoots the bartender a quizzical look and says "You got a drink named Ted"?
So the pope coes to New York...
and flags a taxi. The taxi is extremely suprised to see the pope, and quickly ushers him into his cab. After a few minutes of silence, the pope says to the taxi driver "You know, being the pope, I've always have people drive me places, and I rarely get the chance to drive myself. Would you mind if I got behind the wheel for a little while?" Not wanting to say no to the pope, the taxi driver lets him drive. They get pulled over by the police soon after, since the pope was driving way over the speed limit. The officee walks up to the cab, is about to give them ticket, until he sees the pope. Not sure of what to do in this sitution, he calls his superior. "Sir, I just pulled over this guy for speeding, and he's *really* important. What do I do?" "Well who is the guy, the mayor?" "Nah, bigger than that" " Is he a movie star?" " No, way bigger than that" "Is he the president?" "No, he's bigger than that" "Well then who is he!?" "I dunno, but he's got the pope driving for him!"
Home safety
I took my name off the Neighborhood Watch List.
I've got two Pakistani flags raised in my front garden, one at each corner and the black flag of ISIS in the center.
The local police, and multiple intelligence services are watching my house 24/7.
I've never felt safer in my entire Life!
We should've known about the failure of communism
In retrospect, there were a lot of red flags...
Wet Mail
A man one morning walks out to his mailbox to get his mail. He opens the door, reaches in, and he can feel that the mail is all wet. He gets very upset that his mail is soggy and ruined. He flags down the mailman who has not made it very far and asks..
"Whats the deal with the wet mail?!"
The mailman stone faced looks back at the man and says
"It's because there is Postage Dew."
I installed a new home alarm system I've never felt safer
I've disconnected my home alarm system and de-registered from the Neighborhood Watch.
I've got two Pakistani flags raised in the front yard, one at each corner, and the black flag of ISIS in the center.
The local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I've never felt safer and I am saving $49.95 a month.
Just saved 50 bucks!
I've disconnected my home alarm system and de-registered from the Neighborhood Watch. I've got two Pakistani flags raised in the front yard, one at each corner, and the black flag of ISIS in the center. The local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I've never felt safer and I'm saving $49.95 a month!
They really should have predicted the fall of Communism sooner.
After all, there were plenty of red flags.
You can explore flags patriotism reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean flags radiation dad jokes. There are also flags puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
No one should have been surprised by the rise of the USSR after World War II.
I mean, there were red flags everywhere.
There are six American flags on the Moon.
Five of them are still standing. Due to the strong UV radiation, they are all completely white by now.
So it looks like the French landed there.
Took down my rebel flag and peeled off my NRA sticker off the front door.
We have disconnected our home alarm system and quit the candy-a**... neighborhood watch. We bought two Pakistani flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard, one at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS in the center. Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I have never felt safer and we're saving $49.99 a month!
I was on a date other day when the girl said she wanted to start a long distance relationship using semaphore.
Raised a couple of red flags...
My friends asked me what I liked about Switzerland
Well the flags a big plus.
The i**... protesting with Mexican flags, shouting "Trump is not my President" are telling the truth.
Their president is Enrique Peña Nieto.
My friend was dating a communist
He should have noticed earlier; there were a lot of red flags.
Just found out I was dating a c**...
Guess I should've noticed the red flags earlier
I should've known my boyfriend was a communist.
There were plenty of red flags.
I should have broken up with my boyfriend when he showed me his collection of Soviet memorabilia...
I mean, the red flags were right there in front of me.
I should have known my friend was a communist.
All the red flags were there.
I just found out my best friend is a communist. To be honest, I should have known.
All the red flags were there.
I got fired from my mail route today.
They said I wasn't picking up people's mail. I should have seen it coming though, there were red flags everywhere.
Communism's fall shouldn't have come as a surprise
There were many red flags
Apparantly all flags on the moon have faded to white by now.
Now the French can claim to have been there.
Two guys from the 50's
Two guys from the 50's were talking out front of one's house.
The first neighbor says to the other, " what do you think of that new family, the Petrov's?"
The second neighbor looks at him and replies, " I don't know if they're commies Teddy, but they sure do raise a lot of red flags."
Stalin should have known that Communism wouldn't work.
I mean, there were red flags everywhere.
A communist revolution seems a bit suspicious
I mean, they always raise a few red flags.
I recently visited China and was considering moving there...
...but there were just too many red flags.
I just started dating this girl and there have been several red flags...
...but I guess that just comes with the territory when dating a communist.
Its no wonder communism failed
there were so many red flags
The President of Iran calls Trump & tells him "I had a dream last night...."
"New York was in ruins & aflame, with Iranian flags flying above."
Trump replies: "Funny, I had a dream last night too. Teheran beautiful and prosperous, happy people celebrating in the streets, with big banners hanging everywhere."
"What did the banners say?", asked the Iranian President.
"I don't know," Trump answers, "I can't read Hebrew."
I just found out I'm colorblind.
I should have realized it years ago - I mean, there were green flags everywhere.
My optometrist says I'm colorblind.
I should have realized it a long time ago... I mean, there were green flags everywhere.
We should've known communism was doomed to fall.
There were a lot of red flags.
It was obvious that Communism would fail.
There were just so many red flags.
Stalin should've known communism was a bad thing
There were red flags everywhere
All of the flags on the moon have been bleached white by the radiation from the sun..
.. making it officially French territory.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she told me she was a communist.
In retrospect, I should have seen all the red flags
[Oh, yeah?] My ex-wife cheated on me with a communist!
...there were so many red flags.
Apparently NASCAR is banning all Confederate flags from its races.
But how will drivers know they've entered the last lap of the race? 🏳
The US confederate flags supporters should be proud.
They are part of a long line of countries that lost wars to the USA.
Why do colourblind people s**... at dating?
Because they fail to see the red flags in a relationship
I should've known my girlfriend was a communist...
There were so many red flags.
I went to Soviet Russia once
I knew I made a mistake, Because I saw all the Red flags
I once dated a girl and she threw up a bunch of red flags..
It turned out she had eaten a bunch of red flags.
I broke up with my girlfriend after 5 years, after I found she was a communist.
I should have known, there were red flags everywhere
I broke up with my girlfriend because I found out she is a communist.
I should have known. There were red flags everywhere.
If Pride Flags exist; there must be Shame Flags
Which explains the Stars and Bars of the Confederacy
Fact of the day: Stalin actually knew Communism won't work
There were red flags everywhere
Why did Trump lose?
Too many red flags.
Why are flags the most e**... of cloths?
Because when the wind blows, they do pole dances.
He said he was a communist.
I should've known darnit, there were red flags everywhere.
I used to live in Turkey, China, and Morocco, but I left ...
there were too many red flags.
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wanted me to cosplay as Lenin
I should've known, there were red flags everywhere.
How did we know that Communism was bad from the start?
Because of all the red flags.
I ended things with my communist girlfriend.
Too many red flags.
I discovered that my boyfriend is a communist spy.
I guess I could have noticed this sooner, but chose to ignore the red flags.
It should be obvious to everyone that communism won't work.
I mean seriously, there were so many red flags.
I just don't get how the german people could fall for h**... and the n**...
There were an awful lot of red flags.
broke up with the girlfriend because she was always up my a**... about being colour blind and a dozen other things
too many grey flags
My partner is a diehard communist and loves China and Russia.
I saw red flags on day one but ignored them.
Never trust someone that enjoys a Soviet Parade
There are a lot of red flags.
My girlfriend left me because of my unhealthy obsession with USSR memorabilia...
She said there were too many red flags!
I was disappointed that my sister started dating a guy who praised Stalin, idolized Karl Marx, and was working to form a union at work
I don't know she missed all the red flags
Trump comes to the fortune teller
Trump comes to the fortune teller and asks how she sees his future.
She looks into the crystal ball and says:
You are travelling down the Constitution Ave. On both sides are cheering and happy crowds with flags and flowers...Go on, tell me more! Jumps Trump.
Everyone is happy, people are hugging each other, continues the fortune teller.
And they shake my hands? Trump interrupts again.
No, the coffin is closed.
TIL people who are color blind have the highest rates of divorce.
They can't see the red flags.
My girlfriend's red flags wouldn't have bothered me so much
....if they didn't have swastikas on them.
how do we know communism was doomed from the beginning?
All the red flags
I used to date someone from Albania, Viet Nam, Turkey, Morocco, Trinidad and Tobago, Russia, Tennessee, Tunisia, and China
Too many red flags
A rural country man is visiting a prestigious college in the big city for the first time.
He's a little lost, so he flags down a passing student and asks, "'Scuse me, could y'all tell me where the library's at?"
The student draws himself up in a huff, and answers haughtily, "I'll have you know that I am an English major with a 4.0 GPA, and I absolutely refuse to answer a question that ends in a preposition!"
The country man thinks for a moment. "OK, then. Could y'all tell me where the library's at, *a**...?"*
I dumped my last girlfriend because she was a communist.
I should've known sooner. There were red flags everywhere.
Why did the girl not want to date the communist?
He was waving a lot of red flags.
h**... had so many red flags around him.
But no one saw it coming.
After a fun night, he invited me to his place. But then I realized he was a communist.
I should've seen the red flags.
I once dated a girl from Tunisia
Her dad was from Trinidad and Tobago and her mum was from Morocco. Broke up with her in the end though. Too many red flags
People really should have known what was going to happen with Communism
There were so many red flags
How did we not know that Communism was bad from the start?
So many red flags.
I broke up with my girlfriend because she was a communist.
To be honest, there were a lot of red flags
