Flagpole Jokes
16 flagpole jokes and hilarious flagpole puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about flagpole that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Howlingly Hilarious Flagpole Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What is a good flagpole joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
So, these two engineers are trying to determine the height of a flagpole...
...A blonde woman wearing a tool belt and hardhat comes walking by, notices the engineers with their problem and goes over to help. She loosens the bolts at the base of the pole, lays it down on its side, then takes her tape measure and runs it down the side of the pole.
"26 feet 6 inches" She says to the two perplexed engineers, and then walks off.
One engineer looks at the other and says, "Typical blonde. We want the height and she gives us the length!"
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her handbag, took a measurement and announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.
One engineer shook his head and laughed, "Typical blonde! We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
A boy paid a girl $10 to climb a flagpole...
She agrees and climbs the flagpole. When she gets home she tells her mother what happened. Her mother said "honey, he just wanted to see your underwear." The next day the same boy was standing by the flagpole and said "I will give you $20 to climb the flagpole." Again she agrees and climbs. She goes home and tells her mother "mom the boy paid me to climb the flagpole again, but I outsmarted him this time. I didn't wear any underwear."
Boy: I'll pay you 10 bucks to climb up the flagpole.
Boy: I'll pay you 10 bucks to climb up the flagpole.
Girl: ok.(climbs the flagpole)
Girl: Mommy Mommy a boy paid me 10 bucks to climb the flagpole. Mom: He just wanted to see your underwear!
...Next Day...
(Same boy): I'll pay you 20 BUCKS to climb the flagpole!
Girl: OK thanks! (climbs the flagpole)
Girl: Mommy Mommy today the boy paid me 20 BUCKS for climbing the flagpole, but today I tricked him this time I wasn't wearing underwear.
Mom:...
Boy: I'll pay you 10 bucks to climb up the flagpole.
Girl: ok.(climbs the flagpole) Girl: Mommy Mommy a boy paid me 10 bucks to climb the flagpole. Mom: He just wanted to see your underwear! ...Next Day... (Same boy): I'll pay you 20 BUCKS to climb the flagpole! Girl: OK thanks! (climbs the flagpole) Girl: Mommy Mommy today the boy paid me 20 BUCKS for climbing the flagpole, but today I tricked him this time I wasn't wearing underwear.
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.
One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
One for the Mathematicians
Some engineers are trying to measure the height of a flagpole.
They only have a measuring tape, and they have not been able to slide the tape up the pole.
A mathematician asks what they are doing, and they explain.
The solution is easy, she says. She pulls the pole out of the ground, lays it down, and measures it.
After she leaves, one of the engineers says,
That is so typical! We tell a mathematician we need the height – and she gives us the length!
2 Polish Guys
Were trying to measure the height of a flagpole. They had a tape measure with them and were trying to climb the flagpole, measure in hand. A man walks by and says, "why don't you guys just lay it on the ground and measure it?" One of the Poles replies, "Because we want to measure its height, not length!"
Jose takes a trip to the USA
Jose just returned to Mexico and couldn't wait to me about his trip to the USA.
He said he went to a baseball game and sat in the outfield stands, directly underneath the flagpole. He said the game was great and all the Americans were so polite. Before the game stated, they turned to him and saluted him. Then they started singing to him, "Jose, can you see!"
What do you call a flagpole with no flag?
Colorless.
Tom Brady died
When he got to Heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Patriots flag in the window.
"This house is yours for eternity, Tom", said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."
Tom felt special and walked up to his house. On his way to the porch, he noticed another house.
It was a 3-story mansion with a Black and Gold sidewalk, a 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous Steeler flag, and in every window, a Terrible Towel hung.
Tom looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but, why does Ben Roethlisberger get a better house than me?"
God chuckled, and said "Tom, that's not Ben's house, it's mine."
Typical blonde
Billy-Bob and Jimmy stood at the base of the flagpole and looked at its top. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing. "We should find the height of this flagpole," said Jimmy, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took the key from her purse, loosened a few screws and put the bar on the ground. Then she took a tape measure out of her purse, took the measurement and said, "Twenty-one feet, six inches," and walked away. Jimmy shook his head and laughed: "Typical blonde! We ask for height and she gives us the length! "
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Flagpole One Liners
Which flagpole one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with flagpole? I can suggest the ones about telephone pole and poles.
- What do you call a flagpole with no flag? Colorless.
- Two guys walk into a bar. Why are they kneeling? It's a US flagpole.
- What would you call an EDM producer on a flagpole? Datsik but not dat well.