Flag Jokes
180 flag jokes and hilarious flag puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about flag that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out these hilarious jokes about flags! From popular red flags to the lesser-known Switzerland flag, explore witty puns, funny slogans and familiar insignias. Learn how to recognize a good red flag and the dangers of radiation with these funny flag jokes.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Flag Short Jokes
Short flag jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The flag humour may include short marker jokes also.
- My dad said people shouldn't get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing. So I took down his confederate flag.
- My boyfriend keeps talking about overthrowing capitalism in a violent revolution Could this be a red flag?
- I dumped my last girlfriend because she was a communist. I should've known sooner. There were red flags everywhere.
- My girlfriend's red flags wouldn't have bothered me so much ....if they didn't have swastikas on them.
- We should've known about the failure of communism In retrospect, there were a lot of red flags...
- I broke up with my girlfriend because she was a communist. To be honest, there were a lot of red flags
- Pretty soon the only place you will be able to buy a Confederate flag will be the black market. Oh the irony.
- I broke up with my girlfriend after 5 years, after I found she was a communist. I should have known, there were red flags everywhere
- No one should have been surprised by the rise of the USSR after World War II. I mean, there were red flags everywhere.
- TIL The American flag on the moon has turned white due to radiation Now it looks like the French landed on the moon
Share These Flag Jokes With Friends
Flag One Liners
Which flag one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with flag? I can suggest the ones about sign and tick.
- We should've known communism would fail. There were a lot of red flags.
- I should've known my boyfriend was a communist. There were plenty of red flags.
- I should have known my friend was a communist. All the red flags were there.
- What are the two problems with the french flag? The red bit and the blue bit.
- What's the biggest advantage of living in Switzerland? Well the flag's a big plus.
- What do you get if you take off the red dot on the Japanese flag? The French flag!
- Why did the girl not want to date the communist? He was waving a lot of red flags.
- What's the worst thing about Austria? I don't know, but the flag is a big minus.
- What's an advantage of being Swiss? The flag is a big plus.
- There are many advantages of visiting Switzerland I mean, the flag itself is a big plus.
- Flying the Confederate flag doesn't make you a racist. It's usually the other way around.
- Communism's fall shouldn't have come as a surprise There were many red flags
- I ended things with my communist girlfriend. Too many red flags.
- I should've known my girlfriend was a communist... There were so many red flags.
- He said he was a communist. I should've known darnit, there were red flags everywhere.
Red Flag Jokes
Here is a list of funny red flag jokes and even better red flag puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- TIL the American flag on the moon has turned into the French flag. Due to solar radiation, the red and blue pigment has disappeared, leaving the flag to be completely white.
- Stalin should have known that Communism wouldn't work. I mean, there were red flags everywhere.
- My girlfriend left me because of my unhealthy obsession with USSR memorabilia... She said there were too many red flags!
- A girl I was dating invited me over to her place. When I went into her room, she had a Soviet banner draped on her wall. I left immediately. It was a big red flag.
- I just found out my best friend is a communist. To be honest, I should have known. All the red flags were there.
- People really should have known what was going to happen with Communism There were so many red flags
- I once dated a girl from Tunisia Her dad was from Trinidad and Tobago and her mum was from Morocco. Broke up with her in the end though. Too many red flags
- How did we not know that Communism was bad from the start? So many red flags.
- I broke up with my girlfriend because she wanted me to cosplay as Lenin I should've known, there were red flags everywhere.
- I broke up with my girlfriend after she told me she was a communist. In retrospect, I should have seen all the red flags
Switzerland Flag Jokes
Here is a list of funny switzerland flag jokes and even better switzerland flag puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Switzerland is a great country, with amazing views and nice people And their flag is also great, which is a huge plus.
- I am thinking of moving to Switzerland, I hear the social benefits are really great. Their cool looking flag is a really big plus, too
- What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
- I'm thinking of moving to Switzerland No particular reason, but the flag's a big plus
- My friends asked me what I liked about Switzerland Well the flags a big plus.
- What are some good things about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus...
- I Don't Know Why I Like Switzerland So Much But the flag is a big plus
- What's good about Switzerland? Not much, but the flag is a big plus.
- What's the best thing about Switzerland? What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
- I don't have a lot of great things to say about Switzerland But their flag is a huge plus
American Flag Jokes
Here is a list of funny american flag jokes and even better american flag puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- TIL the american flag planted on the moon is now completely white due to radiation from the sun. Great, now future archeologists are gonna think the French got there first.
- TIL that the radiation of the sun has caused the American Flag on the moon to be completely white So now it looks like France visited first
- Due to the non existent atmosphere on the moon, the american flag is by now completely white. Great, now everyone thinks the French were the first...
- There are six American flags on the Moon. Five of them are still standing. Due to the strong UV radiation, they are all completely white by now.
So it looks like the French landed there. - I like my women how I like my American Flag... Made in China.
- Did you know that the American flag on the moon was bleached due to solar radiation? Now it looks like the French landed there first
- Some of the biggest red flags I can think of are Danish, Chinese, Spainish, Turkish, or albanian And to a lesser extent, Canadian, Indonesean, Hatian, American, and Japanese
- Did you know that Solar Radiation has turned the American Flags on the Moon White? Great... Now people will think France has been there
- Solar radiation has turned the American flags on the moon pure white... Now it looks like France landed there...
- [Dirty] What do you call a tear in the American flag? An old glory hole.
Country Flag Jokes
Here is a list of funny country flag jokes and even better country flag puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The Philippines is the only country in the world who turns its flag upside down during times of war while French people remove the red and blue colour
- There are two kinds of countries Those who use the metric system, and those who have their flag on the moon.
- The US confederate flags supporters should be proud. They are part of a long line of countries that lost wars to the USA.
- Who else is cheering for Switzerland in the Olympics? So much to like about the country. I mean, even the flag is a big plus.
- No leader or government should establish communism in their country... ...after all, in history, there have been so many red flags.
- Generally, when Communist countries get patriotic… it's a big red flag
- How did the dad figure out the most popular country in the world? He took a flag pole.
- I was asked why Switzerland was one of my favourite countries to visit. "Well, their flag's a big plus!"
- Switzerland is such a cool place. I honestly don't know much about the country itself, but the flag is a plus.
- "My wife has a stall on the beach..." "My wife has a stall on the beach where you can buy flags of any country"
"Does she sell Seychelles by the sea shore?"
Good Red Flag Jokes
Here is a list of funny good red flag jokes and even better good red flag puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- There is a green flag for good, a red flag for bad, and a white flag for Italy
Charming Humor Flag Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about flag you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean badge jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make flag pranks.
Romney was asked about the Chinese going to the moon...
He responded that when they are up there, they will be able to see the flag we planted over 40 years ago. This is a pretty clever comeback. But the last laugh is on us. The US flags are now all beached white due to the unprotected exposure to the sun's UV radiation. This means the Chinese will think the French made it first.
Roger Federer was doing an interview...
... when the interviewer asked him how he felt about his countries flag being displayed by so many of his fans in the arena he replied
"Well, it's a big plus"
This just in: A white flag factory has burned to the ground in Paris...
... Effectively crippling the French military.
I heard that because the moon has no atmosphere...
the American flag we planted there has lost its color and is now completely white. We need go up there and change it. Because we don't want anyone thinking the French beat us to the moon.
Back during the Apollo moon-missions, NASA astronauts left an American flag on the surface of the moon.
Over the years, unfortunately, the sun's harsh cosmic rays have bleached the flag completely white. So, any future visitors to the moon will no longer be able to find any proof that the *US* went to the moon, since the only flag left is the French flag.
Patriotism
A nurse was taking care of a soldier in the Army Hospital.
"How I wish I could kiss the American flag before I die," the soldier said.
The nurse was extremely touched by the soldier's patriotism and said, "I have a tattoo of the American flag on my bottom. You may kiss it if you don't mind."
"Of course I wouldn't mind. Thank you for fulfilling my last wish," the soldier said.
The nurse took off her p**... and the dying soldier kissed the flag.
"Thank you, nurse," he said "Now would you be so kind as to turn around so that I could kiss Bush too?"
I blow, but I don't s**.... I whip, but don't do chains. Some watch me and feel proud, while others feel ashamed. What am I?
I am a flag.
Clean Joke...
What's great about living in Switzerland?
....
.......
.............
The flag is a big plus
Home safety
I took my name off the Neighborhood Watch List.
I've got two Pakistani flags raised in my front garden, one at each corner and the black flag of ISIS in the center.
The local police, and multiple intelligence services are watching my house 24/7.
I've never felt safer in my entire Life!
So I asked this swiss dude to tell me something good about living in Switzerland.
"Well" he said "the flag is a big plus!"
What is that number 1 song coming out of the middle east?
My black flag brings all the goats to the yard,
and they're like like "allahu akbar",
watch out, I'll put a bomb in your car,
I'd teach you, but I lost my arms
I installed a new home alarm system I've never felt safer
I've disconnected my home alarm system and de-registered from the Neighborhood Watch.
I've got two Pakistani flags raised in the front yard, one at each corner, and the black flag of ISIS in the center.
The local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I've never felt safer and I am saving $49.95 a month.
Just saved 50 bucks!
I've disconnected my home alarm system and de-registered from the Neighborhood Watch. I've got two Pakistani flags raised in the front yard, one at each corner, and the black flag of ISIS in the center. The local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I've never felt safer and I'm saving $49.95 a month!
I'm curious about the French flag.
When did they add the blue and red stripes?
The nfl has hired their first female referee.
She will throw the flag for penalties the team committed 5 years ago.
This may be controversial to most people, but i feel it must be said. I FULLY support flying the rebel flag.
How else are we supposed to show our support and remembrance of the battle of Hoth, and our willingness to topple the empire and bring peace to the galaxy?
Worry not confederate flag supporters! You may have lost the battle...
But you haven't lost the w- oh right.
So I asked my friend what its like to live in Switzerland..
He said It's pretty cold but the flag is a huge plus
So I went on a date with this girl last night
Things were going well, so we ended up back at her place. Then things started going REALLY well, and we ended up in her bedroom. I looked around and saw that she had a king sized bed with Communist Party sheets.
Now that's a big red flag.
The flag in the moon is fading into an all white flag
Future generations will believe the French were there.
An pakistani in the US fears for his safety
Email note from Abdul in Washington to his friend Ahmed in Pittsburgh:
I was fed up with being burgled every other day in my neighbourhood.
So, I tore out my alarm system & de-registered from our local Neighbourhood Watch.
I've planted a Pakistani flag in each corner of my front garden and a large Black Flag of ISIS in the centre. I grew a beard and only wear turbans in my freetime.
Now, the Washington Police, the FBI, the National Security Agency, Scotland Yard, MI-5, MI-6, the CIA and every other intelligence service in the world are all watching my house 24x7x365.
My children are followed to school every day and my wife when she goes shopping. I'm followed to and from work every day. So no one bothers me at all.
I have never felt safer.
Took down my rebel flag and peeled off my NRA sticker off the front door.
We have disconnected our home alarm system and quit the candy-a**... neighborhood watch. We bought two Pakistani flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard, one at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS in the center. Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I have never felt safer and we're saving $49.99 a month!
I went out with a girl the other night who turned out to be really weird
I guess the fact that she said she was a communist should have been a big red flag
Double standards are the worst.
I mean, one flag is enough.
Why Eiffel Tower is so high?
So the white flag can be visible from Berlin.
Sorry :P .
I wanted to make sure my kids were safe when they are playing outside....
So I put an ISIS flag in my window.
Now my neighbors watch them 24/7.
I'm making a list of reasons to move to Switzerland
The flag is a big plus
A French Girl gets her Period
My friend's family is French.
His sister had this huge French flag for a bed sheet.
Then one night she got her period.
Imagine her shock when she woke up on the Japanese Flag.
Crossing the Border
A young Mexican man decides he wants to see a bit of America. He swims across the Rio Grande and finds a college football game about to start. He doesn't have any money to get in, so he climbs a flag pole to watch the game. Later that night he swims back across the river and tells his family how friendly the Americans all were, as they all turned to him at the start of the game and asked together, "Jose, can you see?"
When the US went to the moon....
...they planted the American Flag. After all these years the radiation from the Sun will have bleached it completely white, so now if Aliens find it they are going to think the French were there first.
A Mexican man was visiting America.
He wanted to go to a genuine American baseball game so that when he went home, he could tell his family all about it, but when he got there the game was sold out, so he climbed to the top of the flag pole to get a good look.
"What happened?" asked his family.
"Well, America is the nicest place in the world!" he said. "Before the game started, all the people in the stands, and all the players, stood up, looked at me and said, "Jose, can you see?"
The US flag on the moon lost its color and is now completely white
It's now the French flag.
What is good about being Swiss?
Well, the flag is a big plus.
I don't date Chinese girls...
That's a big red flag for me...
The Japanese flag is actually just a pie chart..
..about how many of them are scared of Godzilla.
Afraid your kid might be a c**...?
Well if he paints one of his bedroom walls red with some yellow stars or a hammer and sickle, that's a huge red flag.
A German and a Swiss are arguing about who's country is better...
The German, clearly annoyed, asks the Swiss
"So what's so great about Switzerland?" The Swiss shrugs, simply saying.
"Well, the flag is a big plus."
I was trying to think of all the benefits of moving to Switzerland...
I can definitely say that the flag is a big plus
Jose and the Game.
Jose snuck across the border to America from Mexico and wanted to go a baseball game so when he went home, he could tell his family all about it. When he got there, the game was sold out, so he decided to climb to the top of a flag pole to get a better look. When he returned home, his family was anxious to hear about his experience:
"What happened?" asked his family.
"Well, America is the nicest place in the world!!" he said. "Before the game started, all the people in the stands and all the players stood up, looked at me and said, "Jose, can you see?"
TIL the American flag on the moon is now bleached completely white by the sun so historians and/or other species would never know it was America that first landed on the moon
They'll think it was France
Did you ever realize that the colours on the LGBT flag are actually all straight
Unless it blows?
A man named Jose has just moved from Mexico to the US
and he wants to do something very American so he decides to go to a baseball game.
Unfortunately, the game is completely sold out. However, the cashier says there is one seat available if Jose is willing to sit atop the flag pole. He agrees.
Finding the pole, Jose climbs to the top and takes a seat.
The game is about to begin when a voice comes over the loudspeaker and says "Please rise for the National Anthem". Everyone in the stadium stands up, turns to Jose, puts their hands over their hearts, and sings
"O-OH SAY CAN YOU SEEEEE..."
Jose yells back "YES THANK YOU"
What did the South Korean flag holder say to the North Korean holder after the ceremony?
Hey, let's grab some lunch! I bet you're starving!
What's so good about Switzerland?
I don't know but the flag is a huge plus.
What is the best part about living in Sweden
Well, the flag is a big plus.
A curious son notices a change in the U.S flag's position and decides to ask his mom
Son: Mom, why is the flag at the top of the pole today?
Mom: Because there hasn't been a mass shooting all week Billy.
What does the blue in the communist flag stand for?
Food
Dad: Participation trophies are bad. It rewards people for losing and is unfair to the winners.
Me: *slowly takes down his confederate flag*
Does anyone know where I can find the "Surrender" Emoji?
Nevermind the French flag works fine. 🇫🇷🇫🇷🇫🇷
I went to China
It was excellent. I left a review on their flag.
What's the best thing about Japan?
I don't know, but their flag is spot on.
My mother told me that losers don't deserve to be commended.
So, naturally, I took down the confederate flag from the porch.
Dear confederate flag supporters, you may lose the battle but
You haven't lost the wa-Oh wait....wow that's awkward
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I'm not sure, but their flag is a huge plus.
How does a colorblind person see the LGBTQ flag?
They see it in gayscale.
All of the flags on the moon have been bleached white by the radiation from the sun..
.. making it officially French territory.
If you go into someone's home
And they have a former Soviet Union banner hanging on the wall,
That's a big red flag.
I don't like Finland....
But their flag is a plus.
My grandpa was complaining about how participation trophies reward losing
So I asked him why he proudly displayed a Confederate Flag
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
Well, there's the flag. That's a big plus.