Flag Day Jokes
26 flag day jokes and hilarious flag day puns to laugh out loud. Read holiday jokes about flag day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Flag Day Short Jokes
Short flag day jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The flag day humour may include short workers day jokes also.
- Fact of the day: Stalin actually knew Communism won't work There were red flags everywhere
- My partner is a diehard communist and loves China and Russia. I saw red flags on day one but ignored them.
- So the other day my friend asked me if living in Switzerland had any benefits... I responded: "Well, the flag's a big plus."^I'll^see^myself^out.
- I was on a date other day when the girl said she wanted to start a long distance relationship using semaphore. Raised a couple of red flags...
- My uncle was complaining about all the participation trophies kids get these days. So I tore down his Confederate flag.
- Somehow, I inadvertently end up putting on my Halloween costume every day It's especially troublesome on Valentine's Day, since people say that my costume is a giant red flag.
- I just bought a car flag for independence day, for only two dollars.. Now i just need to buy a car, and i am all set.
- Got a neighbor who's a real patriot? Always flying the flag? Sneak out late at night and replace it with a large pair of boxer shorts.
- What side of the American flag are the stars on? Both sides.
Came from my FIL on this Memorial Day.
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Flag Day One Liners
Which flag day one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with flag day? I can suggest the ones about laughter day and pancake day.
- How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger flag on the cheap? He bought it on sail.
Flag Day Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about flag day you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean family day jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make flag day pranks.
Little Sally comes home from school munching on a big bag of candy...
Her mother says, "Where'd you get the money for that!?"
Sally laughs and says, "Little Johnny bet me five dollars I couldn't climb up the flag pole! I did it, and I won!"
Her mother shakes her head. "You d**...! He was just trying to get a peek at your p**...!"
"Oh no!" Little Sally says, embarrassed.
But the next day, she comes home with two bags of candy.
Her mother says, "Did Little Johnny pay you to climb the flag pole again!??"
"Yes!" says Little Sally. "But I sure fooled him! I didn't even wear any p**...!"
An pakistani in the US fears for his safety
Email note from Abdul in Washington to his friend Ahmed in Pittsburgh:
I was fed up with being burgled every other day in my neighbourhood.
So, I tore out my alarm system & de-registered from our local Neighbourhood Watch.
I've planted a Pakistani flag in each corner of my front garden and a large Black Flag of ISIS in the centre. I grew a beard and only wear turbans in my freetime.
Now, the Washington Police, the FBI, the National Security Agency, Scotland Yard, MI-5, MI-6, the CIA and every other intelligence service in the world are all watching my house 24x7x365.
My children are followed to school every day and my wife when she goes shopping. I'm followed to and from work every day. So no one bothers me at all.
I have never felt safer.
a pakistani soldier enlists in the army , ( xpost - india )
A Pakistani soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3 day pass.The CO says, "Are you crazy? You just joined the Pakistani army, and you already want a 3 day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in an Indian tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked, "How did you do it?" "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Indians. I approached the border, and saw an Indian tank. I put my white flag up, the Indian tank put his white flag up. I said to the Indian soldier, 'Do you want to get a 3 day pass?' So we exchanged tanks!"
I pulled a lil sneaky on ya
A boy and a girl are standing by a flagpole. The boy asks the girl to climb up the pole, and take the flag down. She does so, and then gives the flag to the boy. The girl goes home later that day, and tells her mother what happened. Her mother responds with: "Oh, dear, that boy was just trying to look at your underwear."
The girl and boy are in the same situation the next day, and the same thing happens. The girl goes home, and tells her mother what happened. The mother responds the same way, but then the girl says: "No, it's okay mom. Today, I didn't wear any underwear."
Little Johnny was in Spanish Class one day...
The teacher said, "Okay, class, tell me a sentence that has to do with Nicaragua."
The teacher calls on Mary Lou. "The flag of Nicaragua has white and blue stripes, with a coat of arms in the middle."
The teacher calls on Jason next. "Nicaragua is located in Central America, with 6 other countries."
Lastly, the teacher calls on Little Johnny. "When I saw a Black Mexican on the street yesterday dying of thirst, his brother was constantly pleading people to get that Nicaragua."
Found this in my timeline...
I was fed up with being burgled every other day in my neighbourhood. So, I tore out my alarm system & de-registered from our local Neighbourhood Watch. I've planted a Pakistani flag in each corner of my front garden and a large Black Flag of ISIL in its centre. Now,the Yorkshire police, the National Security Bureau, Scotland Yard, MI-5, MI-6, the CIA and every other intelligence service in Europe are all watching my house 24x7x365. My children are followed to school every day and my wife when she goes shopping. I'm followed to and from work every day. So no one bothers me at all. I've never felt safer.
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.
The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"
So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?"
"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
Disillusioned with the Republican Party, Donald Trump gets inspired...
Disillusioned with the Republican party, Trump wakes up one day with an idea. Summoning Mike Pence to his office, he lays out his vision.
"Mike, the Republican Party is a relic of the past. We need to start fresh with a brand new party of loyal Americans."
"That's brilliant sir, but what should we call our party?"
Trump thinks for a moment, and suddenly exclaims. "We'll base our party on the virtues of the flag! That will really underscore our American values."
"Well, there's already a red party and a blue party," Mike Pence thinks. "So that would make us..."
Trump Beams "The White Party!"
More grandfather jokes.
I've seen a few people posting their grandfather's jokes here recently. Mine is in the hospital right now recovering from heart surgery, so I figured I'd share a few he told me.
There was a Mexican man who was a huge baseball fan. It was his dream in life just to be in the stands at a World Series game. So, he saves up for years, travels to the US, but when he gets there he finds that the game is sold out. He tells his story to a ticket agent, who is sympathetic.
"Here's what I can do for you. I can sneak you in, but the only place you'll be able to sit is on top of the flag pole. I have to warn you, though, the view is awful." The Mexican man agrees, excited at the opportunity to even see the game.
After it ends, the Mexican man goes and finds the ticket agent, and thanks him profusely.
"This has been the best day of my life! Everyone in the stadium was so friendly! Right before the game started, everyone turned to me and asked, Jose, can you see?"
A boy meets a girl outside a school:
The boy says to the girl: "I bet you 10$ you can't climb up half this flag pole!". The girl replied: "Sure I can!", and so she did and received her money. The girl got home and her father asked where she got the money. She explained and he told her that the boy had just wanted to see her underwear. The next day she meets the same boy at the flag pole. "I bet you 20$ you can't climb up the whole pole and touch the top!". The girl took the bet, touched the top and received her money. The boy Walked away with a huge smile on his face. When the girl got home her father saw that she was holding even more money today than she did the day before: "Did you let that boy trick you again?" he asked. "I most certainly did not! I was the one that tricked him actually!". "And how did you do that?" her father replied. "Well, today I wasn't wearing any underwear!
Found this in my timeline...
I was fed up with being burgled every other day in my neighbourhood. So, I tore out my alarm system & de-registered from our local Neighbourhood Watch.
I've planted a Pakistani flag in each corner of my front garden and a large Black Flag of ISIL in its centre.
Now,the Yorkshire police, the National Security Bureau, Scotland Yard, MI-5, MI-6, the CIA and every other intelligence service in Europe are all watching my house 24x7x365.
My children are followed to school every day and my wife when she goes shopping. I'm followed to and from work every day. So no one bothers me at all.
I've never felt safer.
Putin is at a press conference...
Reporter: Good day, I'm John Smith from the Coca-Cola company. Mr president I have a question. You've been trying to get the old times back, and bringing the good old communism back.
Putin: Communism bring back russia, yes
Reporter:Why don't you also bring the old red flag back? And maybe we will close a 5 billion dollar deal if you put our logo very tiny in a little corner...
Putin: Hmm, I have discuss this
*Putin whispers to his Prime Minister*: Psst, Medvedev, when ends the Aquafresh contract?
Golf jokes today is it? Here's mine
A three-man group, a doctor, a priest, and an engineer are playing a golf course on a beautiful summer day. After a few holes they realize the group ahead of them is progressing incredibly slowly; the doctor flags down the groundskeeper and asks "What's taking them so long? I've got patients to see this afternoon!"
The grounds keeper explains, "Well, we had a fire in the clubhouse a few years back. A group of firefighters was able to save it, but they lost their sight in the blaze. Since then, we allow them to play for free whenever they like."
The doctor responds, "That's terrible! I'll speak with the ophthalmologists I know, perhaps one of them can help these poor men."
The priest nods before adding, "I'll keep these men in my prayers and see about getting donations from my congregation for the families"
The engineer looks at the doctor, priest, and groundskeeper and asks, "Why can't they just play at night?"
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3 day pass.
The CO says, "Are you crazy? You just joined the Israeli army, and you already want a 3 day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"
So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked, "How did you do it?"
"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, 'Do you want to get a 3 day pass?' So we exchanged tanks!"
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.
The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass?
You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"
So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!
The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?"
"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs.
I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up.
I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
