JokoJokes

Fixes Jokes

42 fixes jokes and hilarious fixes puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fixes that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Fixes Short Jokes

Short fixes jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fixes humour may include short fixing jokes also.

  1. how many Indians does it take to fix a lightbulb? Two. One to do the task and other to explain how lightbulbs were actually invented in ancient India.
  2. What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a guy who fixes bicycle horns? One's motto is 'Be Prepared', the other's is 'Beep Repaired'
  3. Kid: Waaaahhhhh! MY TOY IS BROKEN! Dad: Nothing a little duct tape can't fix.
    Kid: mrnm... mmrm.. rnmr...
  4. If you're ever skydiving and your parachute fails to open don't panic You will have the rest of your life to try and fix it
  5. 99 little bugs in the code... 99 bugs in the code. Fix one bug, compile it down. 167 little bugs in the code....sigh.
  6. If you lose your sense of smell due to Covid, here's a simple fix. Just reset to olfactory settings.
  7. How many therapists does it take to fix a lightbulb? Zero, they tell the lightbulb to fix itself
  8. I had a hunch that I wouldn't like the chiropractor, but he fixed my posture so... ...I stand corrected.
  9. 99 bugs in my code, 99 bugs in my code... Take one down, fix em' around, 404 bugs in my code.
  10. I asked a black man on the street if he could come fix my speaker set up, since he must be good at fixing electronics. He told me I used the wrong stereo type.

Share These Fixes Jokes With Friends




Fixes One Liners

Which fixes one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fixes? I can suggest the ones about fixed and repair.

  1. Screw that clown from IT. Always joking around when he should be fixing my computer.
  2. My girlfriend says I'm hopeless at fixing appliances. Well she's in for a shock.
  3. If your parachute doesn't deploy don't worry.. You have the rest of your life to fix it.
  4. If I Cuold time travel I would fix the title.
  5. How do you fix a government....? Try turning them off and then on again...
  6. I didn't think my doctor could fix my bowed legs. I stand corrected.
  7. Liquor probably won't fix your problems... but it's worth a shot.
  8. I asked an electrician to fix the electricity in my house... He Re-fused.
  9. I finally fixed that annoying noise in my car. I opened the door and pushed her out.
  10. How many hipsters does it take to fix a heater? None. They did it before it was cool.
  11. Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed ? Everybody
  12. Ever been to a bulimic's birthday party? (fixed) The cake jumps out of the girl.
  13. If any of you can teach me how to fix a broken hinge... My door is always open.
  14. I ran into an old friend the other evening. Should have had the headlights fixed.
  15. How many programmers do you need to fix a light bulb? None, it is a hardware issue!

Fixes joke, How many programmers do you need to fix a light bulb?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about fixes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of fixes puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Rib-Tickling Fixes Jokes that Bring Friends Together

What funny jokes about fixes you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean solves jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make fixes prank.

A plumber fixes a damaged pipe in a doctor's house and asks for 200 dollars. Doctor says to him: "Even i, don't make so much money in such a short period and i'm a doctor".

And the plumber goes: "I know sir. I used to be a doctor myself"

My grandpa's favorite joke

This works better in my native language, but I am going to do my best to try to translate it effectively.
At the end of a good day's work, an accountant goes home and announces proudly to his wife "Honey, I missed the bus today but I saved $2 by chasing after it all the way home! "
His wife fixes him with a look of pure contempt and says "You fool!! You could have saved $75 if you'd only chased after a cab."

A guy calls into work....

says he can't come in, he has a terrible hangover.
the boss says "well, when that happens to me, i ask my wife for s**..., and that usually fixes me right up."
the guy says he'll try that.
later, he comes into work, ready to go. the boss sees him and says
"so, that worked, didn't it?"
the guy says "yes, it did, and you have a really nice house."

A man fixes a lightbulb, crosses the street, and walks into a bar. He tells the bartender:

"My whole life is a joke."

If I'm ever in a coma unplug me.

Then plug me back in and see if that fixes the problem.

I have an Eastern European friend who fixes my language mistakes...

My personal spell Czech.

When Microsoft and Apple ship faulty products

Microsoft: We will fix that faulty battery timer through a software update. *never fixes it though*
Apple: *quietly removes the battery timer*

An old snake

"Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days". The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.
The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.
Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?"
"The glasses are fine, doc. I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"

What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?

A URL-ologist.

What do you call an Egyptian doctor who fixes back problems?

A Cairo-practor!

They say rubbing alcohol fixes outside wounds, so what fixes inside wounds?

Drinking alcohol!

An old snake is feeling his age.

"Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days". The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.
The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.
Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?"
"The glasses are fine, doc. I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"

What kind of bird fixes stuff?

A repair-a-keet.

What happens when you play a modern country song, backwards?

Your truck fixes itself, your dog comes back to life, your girlfriend comes back to you, and your beer refills itself.

A man is dying of cancer...

He tells his wife, "Honey, if things start looking bad, please just turn off my life support."
A tear rolls down her cheek as he grasps her hand and continues, "Then turn it back on again and see if that fixes it."

Zen Master and the Hot Dog

The Zen Master is visiting New York City from Tibet. He goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."
The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen Master, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it.
"Where's my change?" asks the Zen Master.
The vendor responds, "Change must come from within."

We've updated Skype so you have the latest version...

it includes performance improvements and general fixes.

Have you heard of the Irish guy who fixes garden chairs?

His name is p**... O'Furniture

What's the difference...

What's the difference between a chef and a perverted aquarium owner?
One fixes dishes and the other d**... his fishes.

What do you call someone who fixes tiny cars?

A quantum mechanic

My friend has a job where he fixes lights

and the other week he was in an Indian restaraunt fixing some, and they were using these huge cauldrons to cook their food.
As he was attaching one of the lights he fell into one of thsee "cauldrons" and he was extremely injured, terribly unlucky.
Today I rang the hospital to see how he is doing and then said its not going good. He's in a corma.

If something doesn't work, unplug it and plug it back in, it fixes it every time.

Except for Grandma.

What do you call somebody who fixes really small things?

A quantum mechanic.

With all these jets breaking the sound barrier. . . Who fixes it?

What does a person with broken English, who fixes himself Vietnamese beef noodle soup when he is sick, say?

Pho cure self.

Trump will take his time considering new FBI director candidates...

Until the Kremlin fixes its routers to give him an answer.

Fixes joke, Trump will take his time considering new FBI director candidates...

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these fixes jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.