Fiveyear Jokes
6 fiveyear jokes and hilarious fiveyear puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fiveyear that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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What is a good fiveyear joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Ending a relationship....
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I just ended a five-year relationship," he confides to the bartender. "Hey, I'm sorry to hear that. Have this drink on the house," the bartender says. "Oh, no reason to be upset," the guy replies. "It wasn't my relationship."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lion and a tiger make a liger, a whale and dolphin a wolphin, a squid and octopus a scquoctopus. What would a five-year old and a horse be?
Definitely i**....
As a judge, I was sentencing criminal defendants when I saw a vaguely familiar face.
I reviewed his record and found that the man was a career criminal, except for a five-year period in which there were no convictions.
Milton, I asked, puzzled, how is it you were able to stay out of trouble for those five years?
I was in prison, he answered. You should know that—you were the one who sent me there.
That's not possible, I said. I wasn't even a judge then.
No, you weren't the judge, the defendant countered, smiling mischievously. You were my lawyer.
Have you tried the communist weight loss program?
Ive lost tons of weight on this five-year plan!
New shoes in Soviet Russia
Comrades Evgeny and Aleksander are old-time friends. One day Evgeny meets Aleksander in the street and tells him excitedly that a new batch of shoes has become available to purchase as part of the current five-year plan, in Minsk! He knows Aleksander badly needs new shoes, his only pair are worn from two decades of use.
However Aleksander gets very angry -- "Zhenya, why are you telling me this? We live in Moscow, Minsk is more than 700 km away, it would take a whole day to drive there and we can't even afford the gas!"
"Ahah! Sasha, we don't have to drive there, the line starts just around the corner!"
A monk joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence
To encourage reflection, the monks who vow silence are required to share one thought on the five-year anniversary with the head Monk.
After five years, the monk meets with the head monk and he says, "food is bland, should be spicy to engage our senses!"
Five years later, another thought, "Bed too hard, should be softer to allow easy rest to encourage restful body."
Five years later, he meets with the head Monk. "I can't take it anymore! I'm ending my vow and leaving the Monastery!"
"Good!" The head monk responds, "All you've done for 15 years is complain!"
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