Fives Jokes

27 fives jokes and hilarious fives puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fives that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Fives Short Jokes

Short fives jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fives humour may include short five guys jokes also.

  1. Man: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up! Doctor: Wow! That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen.
  2. It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub. It's a thirty five minute walk from the pub to my house.
    The difference is staggering.
  3. It's a five minute walk from my house to the bar. It's a 35 minute walk from the bar to my house. The difference is staggering.
  4. My wife asked for something shiny that goes from 0 - 200 in five seconds or less for our anniversary... I bought her a scale. We're still not speaking.
  5. Interviewer: How do you explain the five-year gap on your resume? Me: Oh, that was when I went to Yale.
    Interviwer: Amazing! You're hired.
    Me: Yay, I got a yob!
  6. Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years? Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
  7. I got jumped by five black guys in Baltimore... They were real nice. Car started right up, and they even helped me with directions back to the interstate.
  8. As an executioner, I often ask prisoners for their last requests. My last inmate asked me for a high five, but I just left him hanging
  9. I got jumped by five black guys in Baltimore. The car started right up but they said I'd need a new battery.
  10. Job interviewer: And where would you see yourself in five years' time Mr. Jeffries?" Me: "Personally I believe my biggest weakness is in listening."

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Fives One Liners

Which fives one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fives? I can suggest the ones about fours and number 5.

  1. Why didn't the japanese guy get a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
  2. What has five fingers and isn't your hand? My hand.
  3. What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short.
  4. Someone donates one kidney and is hailed as a hero. I donate five, and get arrested?
  5. What would you call the Fantastic Four if snoop dogg joined the team? The High Five
  6. Never try to hi-five Logan Paul You won't be the first person he's left hanging.
  7. Scientists finally found out, how much sleep humans exactly need: just five more minutes
  8. I'm not racist! I have like 3 friends! And five of them are black.
  9. A gymnast walks into a bar... She is then deducted five points.
  10. What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? The NBA.
  11. I didn't vaccinate my five kids and both of them turned out fine.
  12. My five year old's joke: What do you call a sausage in a room with a hungry wolf? A wolf.
  13. What is a cannibals favorite restaurant? Five Guys
  14. A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says "Five beers, please"
  15. "Where do you see yourself in five years?" "I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."

Fives joke, "Where do you see yourself in five years?"

Entertaining Fives Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about fives you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fifteen jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fives pranks.

So if Ani is short for Anakin, and Ben is short for Obi-Wan... and Fives is short for CT-27-5555... and Artoo is short for R2D2... and Chewie is short for Chewbacca... What is Luke short for?

A stormtrooper

5 year old daughters first independent joke: What is a cats favourite colour?

High fives all round!

Cop joke.

So I'm an ER RN and we love to joke around. Had two cops in with a patient. I deadpanned I heard there's been ppl stealing tires off (local) cop cars…. The one cop says I haven't heard anything about this .
So… I said I've heard the police are tirelessly investigating it.
First cop high fives me. I say dad joke! Second cop pouts.

Why did ancient Romans not exchange high fives?

They didn't want to spread h**....

What did one p**... say to the other?

Swap you two fives for a ten

Two statisticians are out hunting...

Two statisticians are out hunting when one of them sees a duck. The first takes aim and shoots, but the bullet goes sailing pass 6in too high. The second statistician also takes aim and shoots, but this time the bullet goes sailing past 6in too low. The two statisticians then give one another high fives and exclaim "Got him!"

Does the five-second rule apply to soup? Please hurry.

I won my poker tournament last night with the five of clubs and the five of s**....

Black fives matter.

Why are black people afraid of high fives?

They don't want to be left hanging

Why do pictures rotated counter clockwise hate giving high fives

Because they're always *left hanging*

Before we started dating, my girlfriend was in an abusive relationship and she'd Never talk about it.

For the entire first year of our relationship, I just thought she hated high fives.

My girlfriend of 2 years just told me her ex used to beat her really badly, and she never told me b/c it's really painful for her to talk about. I feel bad I didn't figure it out sooner.

I always thought she just really hated high fives.

Fives joke, My girlfriend of 2 years just told me her ex used to beat her really badly, and she never told me b/