Fitting Room Jokes
28 fitting room jokes and hilarious fitting room puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fitting room that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Fitting Room Short Jokes
Short fitting room jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fitting room humour may include short dressing room jokes also.
- I got kicked out of a store trying to buy condoms All I wanted was to use their fitting room!
- Wife: Our Disney certified stroller fits through all openings Dad: Yep, it's Universal
This interaction occurred as we left our Disney hotel room heading to the bus to EPCOT. - Eggs in my fridge I bought 12 eggs today but there was no room for them in my fridge. Dozen fit
- I don't understand why people are so scared to go in dressing rooms… But I guess it's only fitting.
- What did the retail employee say to the young gang member in the fitting room? You dont fit in the hood kid.
- Me : how big is this room ? Estate agent : it's 15 square feet
Me : I could fit at least 3200 copies of the movie ratatouille on dvd in here
Estate agent : what
Me : what - You can really scare someone when you yell Peek-a-boo! . Especially when they're trying on clothes in the fitting room.
- Statistically speaking, ten percent of women cry in shop fitting rooms. Guess they weren't expecting to see me there.
- I always worry someone will laugh at me when I buy condoms But they never laugh once I ask where the fitting room is.
- My uncle tried buying condoms and was kicked out of the pharmacy He asked for the fitting room
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Fitting Room One Liners
Which fitting room one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fitting room? I can suggest the ones about changing room and suit fitting.
- Box of condoms = $6.99 Cashier's face when you ask where the fitting room is = Priceless
Fitting Room Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about fitting room you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wardrobe jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fitting room pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My boss, who is a fit woman, caught me in the shower room after work.
She said to me "Would you mind taking my blouse off?"
I replied, "Certainly," and took it off.
Then she turned around and said, "Would you take my skirt off too?" So I removed that as well.
Then she finally asked me to take her underwear off, so I did that too.
Then she looked at me and said, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went to a brothel and met a p**...
I asked her what are the prices?
She said:
£20 for a h**...
£50 for a b**...
£80 for s**...
And for £120, i'll do anything!
Anything hmmm....
She's now fitting my downstairs bathroom and repainting my living room.
You can ge some real bargains if you shop around!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Things Men Shouldn't Say in a Victoria's Secret Store
1. No thanks... Just sniffing.
2. I'll be in the dressing room going blind.
3. Oh the size won't matter. She's inflatable.
4. No need to wrap it up. I'll eat it here.
5. Will you model this for me?
6. Oh, honey, I'll never fit into that.
7. $85? Are you kidding? She's just going to end up *n**...* anyway!
My landlord throws a conniption fit for no reason whenever he sees the inside of mine or one of my co-tenants rooms.
My landlord throws a conniption fit for no reason whenever he sees the inside of mine or one of my co-tenants rooms.
I think he might have an apartment complex.
My son invited his girlfriend over.
When she left, I went up to his room and said, "Did you use the condoms that I bought you?"
He said, "We tried, but they didn't really fit."
I said, "That's OK, maybe you need a different size."
He said, "Yeah, I think she does."
A Russian general walks into a room to see Vladimir Putin crying at a table.
A Russian general walks into a room to see Vladimir Putin crying at a table.
"Comrade President! What is wrong?"
"I've been working on this jigsaw puzzle from America all morning, but I can't get any of the pieces to fit!"
"Da, Vlad, I see. Everything will be OK. Why don't we lie down and rest? But first, let's put the Corn Flakes back in the box."
An overweight criminal takes a lie detector test to prove his innocence.
This is the cops' last chance to prove his guilt.
They hook him up to the detector and tell him, "First we will ask you an obvious question and you must lie. If the machine registers your lie we will ask you about the crime and you will go to jail. If it does not you are free to leave."
"I understand." He says.
"Everyone in this room is fit except you. Do you think you are the lightest?" They ask.
He says, "Sir, I am closer to the lie test than any of you."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lead singer gets blown by a big fan backstage at the end of a concert and all the band members find him n**....
Group: Ewww! Get a room!
Singer: I would if you could fit three blades the size of a jet engine into my living room!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was fired from my last job for having s**... in a fitting room.
Marked it down on my application as "experience with customer relations."
Sometimes I go into the fitting room with jeans three sizes too big so I can feel what it's like to succeed at a diet.
A colleague was planning a trip to my business office and asked if I could find him a hotel with exercise facilities.
I called several hotels, with no luck.
Finally, I thought I had found one.
I asked the receptionist if the hotel had a weight room.
"No," she replied, "but we have a lobby and you can wait there."
At the clothing store where I work, I make it a point of pride to give customers my unvarnished opinion.
One day, when a man emerged from the fitting room, I took one look at him and shook my head.
"No, no," I said. "Those jeans look terrible on you. I'll go get you another pair."
As I walked away, I heard him mumble, "I was trying on the shirt."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The doctor comes in the room and says, "I've got good news and I've got bad news for you."
The bad news is you've got "HAGS".
"HAGS? What's that?"
"That's what we call it when you have h**..., AIDS, gonorrhea, and s**... all at the same time.
"Doc, that's horrible, what's the good news?"
"There is a special treatment regime for you. First, we give you your own private room, then we put you on a diet of pizza and pancakes."
"Pizza and pancakes? Doc, will that cure me?"
"Oh no, that's all we can fit under the door."
An Englishman, an Indian and an American...
...are in the hospital waiting room together, all three of their wives about to give birth (for free, viva la NHS). When the doctor comes out and says "I'm terribly sorry, but we've had a mix up and we don't know which baby is which.".
As this is a joke, rather than immediately contacting their lawyers, they agreed amongst themselves that they'd go and see if they could tell, if they felt a special connection to one, for example.
The Englishman entered the room first, as is his right, and was in there for 15 minutes, before emerging with what was, for various reasons, clearly the Indian man's son. The Indian pointed this out immediately and the Englishman replied "I know, but one of the others is American and I'm not taking the risk".
*Feel free to insert other nationalities as fits your own nation's whipping boy*.
A mummy balloon, daddy balloon and baby balloon are watching TV...
When the parents announce they are ready for bed, but the baby balloon is OK to stay up a little while longer. They head off to bed, and an hour later, baby balloon finishes his show, and goes to the bedroom.
As they are balloons and have no real sources of income, they live in a 1 bedroom apartment, and have to share a bed. The baby balloon tries to get into bed, but mummy balloon and daddy balloon are just so big that he can't squeeze in. So, he goes to daddy balloon, unties his knot and lets out a little air, and tries getting into bed again: Still not enough room. He then goes to mummy balloon and unties her knot and lets a little air out: A little better, but still not enough. So, he unties his own knot, lets out some air, and is able to fit comfortably into bed.
The next morning, baby balloon wakes up to find his parents are not there. He goes into the kitchen to find mummy and daddy balloon sitting at the table looking pretty angry.
Daddy balloon says, 'Son, we are pretty upset about what you did last night. You let me down, you let your mother down, but worst of all, you let yourself down.'
A Family of Balloons
There was once a family of balloons; Balloon Dad, Balloon Mum and Balloon Jr. As Balloon Jr was only very young he was still getting used to sleeping the whole night in his own bed. Mum and Dad would always say that he is now too big and he simply must stay in his own bed! One night Balloon Jr just couldn't take it anymore he HAD to sleep in his parents bed so he crept in to their room, but looking up at the bed he could see that there really wasn't enough room for him to fit in. To solve this problem he decides to let a little air out of his dad, a little air out of his mum and quite a lot of air out of himself. The next morning the parents are very disappointed, Balloon Mum says to Balloon Jr
"You've let me down, you've let your father down, but most of all, you've let yourself down."