Fitted Sheet Jokes

A man throws a dollar coin into a wishing well...

and a genie pops out. The genie tells him "You have thrown the largest money value into this well since it has been built. You may have one wish."
"I want a dragon."
"Are you sure? That's... pretty big, and would probably give me away. Anything else?"
"I want to learn how to fold a fitted sheet."
"...what color dragon do you want?"

Fitted sheets were originally invented in 1682 in Salem, MA.

Unfortunately, they didn't catch on at that time since anyone who could actually fold them was accused of witchcraft and subsequently burned at the stake.

What is the difference between a piece of fabric with elastic around the edges, designed to go on a bed, and an unexpected bout of diarrhea when wearing sandals?

One is a fitted sheet...

How do you put on a fitted bed sheet correctly the first time?

Step 1: Wrong.

Every time I do it, I try my best but I still s**... at it. When I was young my parents explained it to me in very simple terms. Over the years, many girls have showed me how to do it. I'm ashamed to say I've tried to learn from online videos.

And yet I still can't fold fitted sheets.

I am a single male and I folded a fitted sheet at the laundromat today AMA!

I was going to write a poem about fitted sheets...

But I don't have a clue on where to start

Things you can say about your washing machine that you can't to say about your girlfriend

"She can fit four loads inside her."
"Sometimes she gets really noisy during the spin cycle."
"If I leave it inside her too long, it starts to smell funny. "
"Got her half off, she was a steal!"
"She always leaves my sheets soaked. "
"I've lost so many socks inside her over the years. "
"There was a lot of mold around the rim."
"I have to drain her every now and then. "
Thank you, I'll be here until I get distracted.