The Best 85 Fist Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Fist jokes. There are some fist finger jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these fist profusely puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Fist Jokes and Puns

What do you get if you fist Gavrilo Princip?

A Black Hand.

Son: "Mom, Dad, I'm gay."

Mom: *Stares at Dad*

Dad: *Clenches fist*

Mom: "Don't!"

Dad: *Sweats Profusely*

Mom: "..."

Dad: "HI GAY, I'M DAD"

I got into a car accident with a midget...

He got out of his car, angrily shaking his fist and yelled, "I'm NOT happy!"

"Well," I replied, "which one are you?"

An economist, a chaos theorist, and a statistician are trying to shoot a deer for dinner with a bow and arrow...

The economist assumes no wind, and misses five feet to the left. He hands over the bow to the chaos theorist, who overestimates the effect of the wind, and misses five feet to the right. The statistician pumps his fist in the air and exclaims: "We got him!".

jokes about fist

I saw some nudity on TV last night...

I just sat there shaking my fist. I was furious.


Latvian joke.

I tell Latvian joke:

Latvian man very hungry.

He go in minefield, look for potato feed family.

Many hours, he suddenly find big potato, size of fist!

He quickly pull out pin, put in mouth, swallow whole thing.

Then he say "But why was there pin in potat "

End from joke.

I like my girls like I like my Pringles....

Thin, stacked, and just barely wide enough to accommodate my fist.

Fist joke, I like my girls like I like my Pringles....

Three women are sitting in a bar discussing who is looser…

The first one says "My husband can fit his fist inside me".

The second one says "My husband can fit both firsts inside me".

The third one just smiles and slides down the bar stool.

My wife slammed her fist on the table and shouted... "Why must you question everything I say!?"

..."Everything?" I replied

Why do dogs lick themselves?

Because they can't make a fist

Whats the difference between your Mom and the Pringles guy?

I can't get my whole fist in the Pringles guy's can.

You can explore fist cocks reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean fist fisted dad jokes. There are also fist puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Three prostitutes in a bar...

First one holds up four fingers "I can take that inside me" she says.
"Well, I can take this" says the second, holding up a fist.
The third one slides slowly down the bar stool.

Never hit a man with eyeglasses

Use your fist instead.

>Enthusiastically told by my 6 year old brother, I thought it was worth sharing.

A little bloke gets into a fight with a big bloke...

The big bloke says "Mate, if you don't back off I'm going to mop the floor with your face."
The little bloke looks up at him with a raised fist and yells, "You'll be sorry!!"

"Oh, yeah? Why?"

"Well, you won't be able to do the corners very well"

I got sick from a fist bump

it's the first confirmed case of ebrola

This guy and I were arguing in an elevator when all of the sudden it turned into a fist fight

We really took it to the next level

Fist joke, This guy and I were arguing in an elevator when all of the sudden it turned into a fist fight

Two nuns were riding though the streets

and realised they were late for church, one said to the other "I know a short cut" they zip through back streets and down a cobble stone path, the other Nun says "I've never come this way before!" The fist Nun replies "yeah, it's the cobble stones"

I'm not really a fighter...

I'm more pass a fist

What does a fish say when he hits concrete?

Dam!
A customer told me that joke, equipped with an " old guys rule" shirt and a hardy fist bump.


I could never fist a girl

My hand would always be reaching for a Pringle.

Three girls are sitting at a bar talking about how loose they are

The first girl says "I'm so loose my boyfriend can get three fingers inside of me". The second girl says "I'm so loose MY boyfriend can get his whole fist in me." The third girl just smiles and slowly slides down the bar stool.

I hit a Milestone today

and now my fist really hurts.

Though my heart is a fist,

I really do ❀ my girlfriend

My girlfriend's not up for being fisted tonight.

I guess I'll just put my feet up.

Why are lesbian prostitutes so wealthy?

They make money hand over fist

There's so much nudity on TV these days, it makes me so angry.

I just sit there, shaking my fist.

Fist joke, There's so much nudity on TV these days, it makes me so angry.

I'm always extra nice to the guy who used to deliver my mail.

I'd hate to get into a fist fight with an ex-professional mail boxer.

I used to play Rock-Paper-Scissors professionally.

I made money hand over fist.

need a Justin Bieber joke

need a Justin Bieber joke about the fist fight he got into last night


I broke my fist in a fight...

So when I got it X-rayed the doctor asked how it happened. I told him I'd tripped on a step, but he said he could see through me.

A guy walks up to a girl in the bar with his fist closed and says........I will go down on you if you can guess what I have in my hand.

The girl says........The empire state building.

The guy says..........That's close enough.

What do you call a fist fight at noon?

A lunchbox

Why fist fights break out at NASA?

Sometimes an argument of perihelion will get out of hand.

I thought it was called a Fist Bump

Why not call it a Finger Bang?


What did the regular hotel room say to the fancy hotel room

Oh suite!

This was made up by my 11 year old son, I thought it was fist bump worthy.

I always wondered why my girlfriend's ex had his fist clenched when he saw me with her.

Then it hit me.

2 Trump Supporters go to heaven

St. Peter greets them at the Pearly gates and asks if there is anything in the universe they'd like to know before meeting God. The fist guy asks, "What was really in Hillary's emails?"
"Nothing incriminating really", replies St. Peter.
The other guy turns and whispers, "Wow, this goes higher than we thought."

Today the world has lost a great leader who ruled with an iron fist.

Mrs.Brady you will be missed... (some guy named Fidel Castro died too)

Fisting

I've always wanted to try my hand at that.

Hey girl, are you a tube of Pringles?

Because my whole fist is stuck inside of you

A blonde and her husband

A blonde and her husband are sleeping when the neighbor's dog starts barking and wakes them up. The blonde sighs, shakes her fist and says 'Wait until you see what I'm going to do to those neighbors!'

She runs out of the house and five minutes later she comes back with a smile on her face. The husband asks 'So, what did you do?'

The blonde says 'Well, I took the dog from their yard and I put it in our yard to see how they like it having the neighbor's dog barking all night.'

Son:"Mom,Dad, I am gay"

Mom: Stares at Dad

Dad: Clenches fist

Mom: "Don't!"

Dad: Sweats Profusely

Mom: "..."

Dad: "HI GAY, I'M DAD

Son: "No dad, I'm serious!"

Dad: "You're serious? I thought you were Gay

Stalin ruled Russia with an iron fist...

The arm of the law it was on, however, had a very hard time reaching us.

What's the difference between a white power arm solute vs a black power fist raise?

Paper always beats rock!

I named my right fist "Attention."

Now my wife has finally stopped asking for it.

Fist Bump for Jesus

Don't leave me hanging!

A man walks up to Ryu

"Can I see your famous Rising Dragon Fist?"

"Shor-yu-ken!"

3 Women are sat at a bar..

The first of the three says proudly "I can fit my whole fist up there". To this the second woman turns and says "well I can fit both my fists up there". The third woman just smiled and slowly slid down the barstool.

A pastor was charge for assault after claiming he was a pacifist.

He also stated that if anybody disrespects the Bible they will catch these pastor fist.

I use this for my Tinder description and it works.

"I fist bumped Chuck Norris once and survived".

What's it called when an illegal immigrant and a child molester get in a fist fight?

Alien VS predator

An Native American was walking into the store

As he neared the store another native american was walking out.

Seeing this man the man entering shouted out " Hello friend, What did you get on this fine day?"

The man leaving turned his head toward the first man and replied back "Why i got a 12 pack for the old lady"

The first man put his fist to his chest and said "Wow, what a good trade!"

I saw two blind guys fist fighting,

I yelled, "I'm betting on the guy with the knife."
And they both ran away.

LPT: If someone punches you in the face, don't worry! You are already getting revenge!

Remember that your face is exerting the same amount of force back to the fist that it is exerting on your face

In the beginning there were no tides.

Then Chuck Norris clenched his fist on the beach.

Hey man, congratulations on that aggressive knuckle cancer.

(Fist bump)

"Why are you fisting me?" A question that should never come up during love making.

Fisting should always be discussed beforehand.

Friend hooked it up.

Fist bumped and as we were parting ways, said "I owe you!"

Dad Friend: "Don't forget A&E!"

Me: "Huh?"

Dad Friend: "A-E-I-O-U! Already forgot your vowels-tsktsk."

Do you know how Chris Brown's girlfriend found out that he had been cheating on her?

She found another girl's lipstick on his fist.

Three bottoms sit in a bar...

The first says, "I'm so loose, my partner can put their fist in me."
The second laughs and says, "That's nothing. I'm so loose that my partner can put their arm in me."
The third laughs and the barstool disappears.

Three buttholes walk into a bar

They sit on bar-stools while their ladies enjoy a beer.

The first one says I'm so loose that I can hold in a fist easily

The second one giggles and says I'm so loose I can hold in two fists, no problem

The third one laughs.... and the bar-stool disappears

Son: Mom, Dad, I'm gay

Mom: *looks at Dad*

Dad: *clenches fist*

Mom: don't you dare!

Dad: hi gay, I'm Dad!

Three gay men are at a bar.

The first one says, I'm so loose, my boyfriend can fit his fist inside me without effort! Second one says, Oh yeah? I'm so loose that my bf can fit his whole arm inside me without effort! Third guy laughs and the stool beneath him disappears.

You can hit a man with glasses....

...but hitting him with your fist is more effective.

I think fisting should be called ...

Uppercunting

She raised her fist in defiance!

As Amy was being taken into jail the other evening, she raised her fist way up in defiance.
Later that night, her cell mate had her fist way up in Amy.

What's the difference between your mom and a boxing glove?

You can only fit one fist in a boxing glove.

As they were taking Amy Ashumer into jail.

She held her fist up in defiance. Later that night, her cellmate held her fist up in Amy.

best jokes about Albania, from Romania:

Why the Albanian submarines resurface every 2 minutes? So the rowers can breath.

How do you destroy an Albanian tank? You shot the guy that pushes it.

Why did the Albanians lost the war? The archer was sick.

The Albanians managed to releases on market their fist computer, it's keyboard has 2 buttons: if you pres the first one nothing happens and the second one cancels the command

Three women are drinking at a bar.

As the night goes on, they begin talking about how loose their vaginas are.

The first woman boasts that her lover can fit his entire fist in.

The second woman says "That's nothing, my husband was able to fit both of his fists in!"

The third woman laughs, finishes her drink, and slides down the barstool.

The blond reared back and clenched his fist

With all his might, he punched the tree, and the force of the impact broke his hand. "Ouch! I thought you said this tree was bouncy!"

His friend face palmed. "No, I said it was a rubber tree."

A phallus shaped potato ruled the world with an iron fist.

He was a Dic-tater.

A guy with two dicks goes to the doctor with his middle finger held in his fist.

When the doctor asks he replies, "because a bird in hand is worth more than two in the bush!"

If I got paid to play rock paper scissors...

I'd be making money hand over fist.

An apple falls on Isaac Newton's head

He shakes his fist at the sky and says, "There should be a law!"

Raising my fist to the sky, I roared, "It's not how many times you fall down, it's how many times you get back up!"

"Sir, that's not how field sobriety tests work." the cop replied.

I almost struck 'x=1' with my fist, but didn't.

Sorry, no punchline.

John came to school with a scar on his forehead

Tom asked him what do you have on your face?
John answered that it was a scar and it was his fathers fault. John explained that he hit a nail with his fist, and his father told him that he really should use his head sometimes.

Son: "Mom, Dad, I'm gay."

Mom: *Stares at Dad*

Dad: *Clenches fist*

Mom: "Don't!"

Dad: *Sweats Profusely*

Mom: "..."

Dad: "HI GAY, I'M DAD"

Son: "No dad, I'm serious!"

Dad: "You're serious? I thought you were Gay!"

Son: "Mom, Dad, I'm gay."

Mom: *Stares at Dad*

Dad: *Clenches fist*

Mom: "Don't!"

Dad: *Sweats Profusely*

Mom: "..."

Dad: "HI GAY, I'M DAD"

So much nudity online these days . . .

. . . sometimes I just sit in front of my laptop shaking my fist.

I once got into a fist fight with a pirate...

He had mean right hook.

Why did God decide to imprison everything that exists inside a gigantic fist that could only be opened with the punchline to this joke.

I could tell you the answer, but then things would get out of hand.

Three logicians walk into a bar.

The bartender asks "Something for all three of you?"
The fist responds: "I don't know"
The second responds "I don't know"
The third responds "Yes"

One day, I was speaking with a martial arts master.

I asked, "Is it true that you once defeated one hundred men in only a few seconds using the Way of the Fist?"

He replied, "Nay, Palm."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the fist cabbie jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working fist forearm piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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