Quirky and Hilarious Fishmonger Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
A Salmon under his arm
Man walks into a fish shop with a salmon under his arm and says to the fishmonger "You got any fishcakes mate?". The fishmonger replies "Course we do mate, it's a fish shop!". "GREAT" replies the man pointing to his salmon "It's his BIRTHDAY!"
A man walks into a seafood shop carrying a trout under his arm.
"do you make fish cakes?"
"Yes we do" replies the fishmonger...
"Great" says the man, ït's his birthday"
Man walks into a fishmonger carrying a trout under his arm...
He asks the shopkeeper, Do you sell fish cakes?
Shopkeeper replies Of course!
Man says, Thank god, it's his birthday!
I still remember my fathers last words...."you selfish boy"
So i became a fishmonger, to follow his dying wish.
A man walks into a fishmonger with a fish under his arm...
And asks "do you do fishcakes?" The fishmonger replies that they do.
"Good" says the man, pointing to the fish under his arm, "it's his birthday."
"Stop! Thief!" shouted the fishmonger.
"Don't move a mussel."
Why are fishmongers only thinking about themselves?
Cause they sell fish
A man walks into a fishmongers...
...with a carp under his arm. He asks the man behind the counter "Do you sell fishcakes?" The fishmonger says "Why, yes we do". "Fantastic!" exclaims the man, pointing to the fish under his arm "It's his birthday!"
Why are fishmongers the worst friends?
They selfish
Why are fishmongers never generous?
Because their business makes them sell-fish.
Why do fishmongers keep all the profit for themselves?
Because they sel fish
You can explore fishmonger halibut reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean fishmonger monger dad jokes. There are also fishmonger puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Five pounds.
A young woman walks towards a fishmongers stall. She approaches him and says
Woman: I nee five pounds o makkel.
Fishmonger: what was that hon? I couldnt understand you.
Woman: makkel. Five pounds.
Fishmonger: I'm sorry I still didnt catch that.
The woman is visibly frustrated and sticks her hands into her pants, pulling her fingers out and under the man's nose.
Fishmonger: HOLY MACKEREL!
Woman: Five pounds.
What did the blind man say when he walked past the fishmonger?
"Hello ladies!"
Why was the fishmonger burned at the stake?
Because he sold his sole to the Devil.
"Hmm," I said to the fishmonger, examining the selection. "I've got the munchies, I will eat any of these."
"Smoked trout?" he asked.
"No," I replied. "Just a little bit of w**...."
My local fishmonger was arrested the other day
Police found hundreds of photos of him in compromising positions with fish from his shop.
He's being charged with possession of prawnographic images
The weirdest thing happened to me today, Dwayne Johnson was holding me down wgilst a fishmonger hit me with a frozen fish.
I was stuck between The Rock and a hard plaice
What did MLK say to the fishmonger?
I have a bream.
