Fishing Rod Jokes
79 fishing rod jokes and hilarious fishing rod puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fishing rod that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Fishing Rod Short Jokes
Short fishing rod jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fishing rod humour may include short fishing pole jokes also.
- Dating is a lot like fishing Sure, there's plenty of fish in the sea. But until i catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod.
- With relationships, they say there's plenty of fish in the sea... But I'm just stuck here holding my rod
- They say that there are plenty of fish in the sea. But until I catch one, I'm just going to be sitting here, holding my rod.
- They say there are plenty of fish in the sea. But until you catch one you're just holding your rod.
- Finding a girlfriend is a lot like fishing... There are plenty of fish in the sea, but it's just you holding your rod until you catch one.
- There's plenty of fish in the sea(fixed) But until I find one I'm just stuck holding my rod
- Fishing & girlfriends Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i'm stuck here holding my rod
- Girlfriends and fishing are similar There are many fish in the sea, but till you hook one, you're just holding your rod.
- Most people tell me there are many fish in the sea. So till i catch one imma play with my rod
- I was told that you catch more fish if you put maggots in your mouth for 5m before attaching them to your rod. Is this true? I await your replies with baited breath.
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Fishing Rod One Liners
Which fishing rod one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fishing rod? I can suggest the ones about fishing reel and fishing hook.
- There's plenty more fish in the sea But until I catch one I'm left here holding my rod.
- Why do priests love to go fishing with kids? So they have someone to hold their rod.
- How do you catch a steroidal fish? With A-Rod.
- What do you get if you mix plutonium with a fishing rod? Nuclear fission
- Give a man a fish; he eats for a day. Give a man a fishing rod... He chokes on the wood
- What do you call a man who owns a fishing store? Rod.
What do you call his wife?
Annette. - What do you call a married couple that go fishing together? Rod and Annet.
- Why do commercial fishermen use nets? With only a rod you lose a fish in sea.
- There are many fish in the sea. So while waiting I'll just play with my rod.
- When rich people go fishing, who hands them their fishing poles? The Rod Stewart
- Why'd the Yiddish chef trade his swimming trunks for a rod and reel? Gefilte fish
- What did the fisher call his new invention: a worm add-on on his fishing rod Clickbait
- Why do fishermen prefer nets to fishing rods Because it's more efficient
- How do you fight wish to master bait? Alone. Bare-handed. With optional fishing rod.
- What does a sarcastic fishing-rod with a broken reeler say? No, reely?
Fishing Rod Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about fishing rod you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fishing tackle jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fishing rod pranks.
How to be Insulting on the Beach: Sit by the water with a fishing rod, and throw revolting lumps of old bread into the water where the children are enjoying themselves.
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift.
Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.
When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in.
Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: “There are no fish in there”.
So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.
So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there.
So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.
“How do you know there are no fish there?” asks the blonde.
So the man c**... says “Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you’re going to have to pay for those holes.”
A woman goes into a store to buy a fishing rod and reel.
She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register.
There is a store employee standing there with dark shades on.
She says, "Excuse me sir... can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says , "Ma’am I’m blind but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes."
She didn’t believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway.
He said "That’s a 6′ graphite rod with Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line... It’s a good all around rod and reel and it’s $20.00."
She says, "That’s amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it’s what I’m looking for so I’ll take it."
He walks behind the counter to the register.
And in the meantime the woman farts.
At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her... being blind he wouldn’t know that she was the only person around.
He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50."
She says, "But didn’t you say it was $20.00?"
He says, "Yes ma’am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50!"
Steve and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing trip.
Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him.
After a lot of teasing and name calling, Steve headed home frustrated.
The following week when Steve's buddies arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Steve.
He was already sitting at the campground with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod in hand, and a camp fire glowing.
"How did you talk your missus into letting you go Steve?"
"I didn't have to," Steve replied.
"Yesterday, when I left work, I went home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows because I couldn't go fishing. Then the ol' lady Snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise'. When I peeled her hands back, she was standing there in a beautiful see through negligee and she said, 'Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want,' So, Here I am!"
Two Virginia r**... go on a fishing trip.
They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods.
I mean they spend a fortune!
The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything.
The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day.
It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
As they're driving home they're really depressed.
o**... turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"
The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
Converting Units:
1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
11. 4 nickels = 2 paradigms
12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
13. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone
14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
17. 52 cards = 1 decacards
18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton
19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen
20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
22. 10 rations = 1 decoration
23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration
24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
25. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League
A woman goes into Discount Fishing Supplies to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday....
She doesn't know which one to get, so she just picks one and goes over to the counter.
The salesman is standing there, wearing dark shades.
She says, "Excuse me. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says, "Madam, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter,
I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.
He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb..Test line. It's a good all around combination, and it's actually on sale this week for $44."
She says, "That's amazing that you can tell all that, just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!"
As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
"Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," he says.
As the lady bends down to pick up the card, she accidentally farts..
At first she's really embarrassed, but then realises there is no way
the blind salesman would tell exactly who had f**....
The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $58.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks,
"Didn't you tell me it was on sale for $44. How did you get $58.50?"
"The Duck Caller is $11, and the Fish Bait is $3.50."
Ice Fishing Blonde
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.
When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: "There are no fish in there".
So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.
So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.
"How do you know there are no fish there?" asks the blonde.
So the man c**... says "Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you're going to have to pay for those holes."
The Fishing Trip
On Friday afternoon, a man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go on a fishing trip with my boss. We'll be gone a week. This is a great chance for me to work on that promotion! Would you please pack some clothes for me and set out my rod and tackle box. I'll swing by the house to pick them up in an hour. Oh! And please pack my new blue pajamas."
The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy, but does exactly what her husband asked.
The following weekend the husband comes home very tired, tan and happy. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he has had a good time.
I did! he says as he carries his things into the bedroom. You wouldn't believe all the fish we caught! Some bass, some catfish, and a few trout.
As he tosses his suitcase onto the bed, his wife leans against the doorjamb.
"Really." She says.
Yup, he says. Then he glances up at her, By the way, why didn't you pack my new blue pajamas like I asked?"
The wife crosses her arms and replies, "I did. They're in your tackle box."
Did you hear about the man who puts worms on fishing rods?
They call him a master baiter.
The new salesman.
A man gets a job as a salesman at a brand new superstore. At the end of his first day, his supervisor comes up to him and asks how many sales he made. "Just one," the man replied. Somewhat annoyed at this, the supervisor asks how much the sale was for. "$68,721.42" is the answer. Immediately taken back, he asks the salesman to explain this spectacular number. "Well, a guy came in here and after a lot of convincing, I sold him a new truck, boat and trailer, a half dozen fishing rods, and almost 100 lures." "There's no way he planned to spend over $68,000 in one trip," the supervisor tells the salesman. "Of course not," the new employee replies. "He came in to buy tampons for his wife and I told him 'Aww, man, your weekend is shot. You should go fishing.'"
There are plenty of fish in the sea
but until I find the one for me, I'm going to sit here holding my rod..if you know what I mean..
A New Salesman
A young guy from N. J. moves to Fla. He goes to a big "everything under one roof" store looking for a sales job.
The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"
The kid says, "Yeah. I was a salesman back in New Jersey."
Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it.
After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today?"
The kid says, "One."
The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?"
The kid says "$101,237.65."
The boss says "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"
The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fishhook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook.
"Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast,
"So I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft."
"Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fishhook, and you sold him a BOAT AND a TRUCK?!"
The kid said, "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing.'"
A Texas Salesman
A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job.
The manager asks him, "Do you have any sales experience?"
"Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas."
Well, the boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?"
"One."
"Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"
"$79,237.64."
His boss is astounded. "$79,237.64? What did you sell him?"
"Well, first I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him that twin engine SeaRay. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Suburban."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?"
The young man replied, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Well, since your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.'"
So, I once went fishing with a fishing pole and brick...
...after some time a hot blonde walked up to me and asked:
-"What are you doing?"
-"Fishing"
-"Ok, I get what the fishing rod is for, but whats up with the brick?"
-"Oh, If you have s**... with me, I'll tell you."
She considered for a moment and agreed.
After 2 minutes, when I was done, she asked again:
-"So, now you have to tell me! Whats the brick for?"
-"oh, well... It is easier to fish with the brick."
-"How come?"
-''You are my 4th catch today.''
Two elderly men are out fishing on a lake.
They are having a great time together until the oldest of the two sneezes and spits his false teeth into the water. He quickly tried to reach for them but it was too late, they are gone. They continue fishing hoping that they might get lucky and get the teeth back. Suddenly the youngest thinks of a joke. He takes out his own teeth and puts them on the hook of his fishing rod. "Well, look what I just got here": he said and he gave the teeth to his older friend. Happy with his luck the man puts his teeth back in. "What are the odds. These aren't my teeth." he says and he throws them back into the water.
What do you get when you cross a fishing rod with mud?
a dirty h**...
The rain was pouring . . .
The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub.
A ragged old man was standing there with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle. A tipsy-looking, curious gentleman came over to him and asked what he was doing.
'Fishing,' the old man said simply.
'Poor old fool,' the gentleman thought and he invited the ragged old man to a drink in the pub. As he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, the gentleman asked, 'And how many have you caught?'
'You're the eighth one today,' the old man answered.
Fishing not allowed.
Ok, so I remember one from my youth times, hope it´s not too overused. here it goes:
A man is fishing in a forbidden zone, with a clear sign showing, when a police truck pulls over to confront the man. Seeing the officer coming in his direction, he hides his fishing rod, and silently watches the water:
man: Good morning, officer, is it something wrong?
officer: Good morning, do you know you cant fish here?
man: I am not fishing, sir, why would you think that?
officer: Really? so, why the bucket with fish here?
man: Oh, that! That´s my fish, my pets, I take them here to a swim and later I whistle and they come back, jump back to the bucket and we go home!
officer: You don't say... care to exemplify?
man: Well, sure!
The man proceeds to empty the bucket with the fish into the water, and waits.
(awkward silence)
officer: So... ?
man: So, what...?
officer: ARE YOU GOING TO CALL THE FISH OR WHAT?!?
man: What fish?
Fishing
Two r**... go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune!
The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
As they're driving home they're really depressed. o**... turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"
The other guy says, "Wow! It's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
s**... is like fishing...
You gotta know how to handle the rod!
Two men are fishing from a bridge...
When one man notices a f**... procession. He quietly sets down his fishing rod, takes of his hat and bows his head. When the procession is out of sight he picks up his pole and continues fishing. The other man turns to him and says, "wow. I never knew you had a feely side in you" to which the first man replies, "it's the least I could've done, afterall, we have been married for forty years."
My friend told me of this fish...
My friend told me of this amazing kind of fish, he said it was impossible to catch! He said it broke the string on his rod! I've never seen it. I've fished for days and days... Nothing. You know? I'm starting to think that it's not reel.
So they say there are plenty of fish in the sea...
and yet here I am still playing with my rod.
There are plenty of fish in the sea...
...and they're easy to catch if you've got a big rod.
Give a man a fish and he has food for a day. Teach a man to fish and...
...he has to buy bamboo rods, graphite reels, monofilament lines, neoprene waders, creels, tackleboxes, lures, flies, spinners, worm rigs, slip sinkers, offset hooks, gore-tex hats, 20 pocket vests, fish finders, depth sounders, radar, boats, trailers, global positioning systems, coolers, and six-packs.
Just a whisper.
So my mother in law was in town today, and we took my son to Walmart to get him something for his birthday. I'm off looking at the fishing rods, and my son Johnny is with his grandmother.
I guess he told her he has to pee, and she got really embarrassed. Told him it's not a polite word, and he should say he has to whisper instead.
So they come find me, and he looks at me and says "Daddy, I need to whisper."
So I kneel down on the floor, and tell him to whisper in my ear. And that's the last time I let my mother in law come stay with us.
A crook walks into a bait and tackle store and sees the cashier is blind.
She asks him for a 50 dollar fishing rod, and he walks over and shows it to her. Then she thanks him and sticks a 100 dollar rod into her cart.
But the blind man isn't s**..., and when she rings it up, he feels the rod and he says "that will be 100 dollars for the fishing rod."
the woman is so embarassed at being caught stealing she rips a loud one.
"and that will be $5.89 for the duck call and $3.29 for the musk scent"
Two fishermen are sitting in a boat indulging in some wordplay.
The first one says, "If I tell you a joke that relies on *casting* the word "rod" in a p**... sense, would you find it *fishy*?"
"Oh," says the second one, "I think I can *tackle* it."
"So... *net-net*, you'd take the *bait*?"
"Oh-h**...! *Hook, line, and sinker*!"
"I don't mean to *lure* you..."
"Ha-ha! Brilliant, old chap! So, let's... *sea*: we've covered fishing tackle, bait, rods... what did we forget?"
"Well, I think we've covered it. After all, the *reel* jokes are in the comments."
How is a fishing rod and a woman the same?
You only pay attention when the c**...'s bent over.
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike
There is plenty fish in the sea, but until I find one, I am stuck here holding my rod.
Looking for a particular joke
Sorry if this is the wrong place to post. There's a joke shot fishing rods and stuff. Or about Movie recordings. I'm not sure which. Either way, comment it below. I hear the reel joke is always in the comments.
The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub.
A ragged old man was standing there with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle.
A curious gentleman came over and asked what he was doing. "Fishing", the old man said simply. "Poor old fool", the gentleman thought, and he invited the ragged old man to a drink in the pub.
He felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, so he asked the old man, "and how many have you caught?"
"You're the eighth", the old man answered.
Updoot for blue cheese day! Yayy
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike.
There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until I find one, I'm stuck here holding my rod.
A Russian and a Ukrainian go fishing together. They catch a talking goldfish, and she grants them 3 wishes if they let her go
The Russian says: we used my fishing rod, so I get first 2 wishes.
First: I want all the *insert some racial slurs* out of my glorious country.
Second: I want a big wall around Russia, nobody can cross.
Then ukrainian has a dialogue with the fish
- Is the wall done?
- Yes
- Is it strong and durable?
- Yes
- Nobody can climb it?
- Nobody
- And nobody but moscovites inside?
- Yes
- Great! Then fill it up with s**... up to the edges
A Russian and a Ukrainian go fishing together. They catch a talking goldfish, and she grants them 3 wishes if they let her go
The Russian Says: We Used My Fishing Rod, So I Get First 2 Wishes.
First: I Want All The Capitalists Out Of My Glorious Country.
Second: I Want A Big Wall Around Russia, Nobody Can Cross.
Then Ukrainian Has A Dialogue With The Fish
- Is The Wall Done?
- Yes
- Is It Strong And Durable?
- Yes
- Nobody Can Climb It?
- Nobody
- And Nobody But Moscovites Inside?
- Yes
- Great! Then Fill It Up With s**... Up To The Edges
There's plenty of fish in the sea they say.
Until I catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod
Icefishing
An ice fisher makes a hole in the ice, puts his fishing rod in and suddenly he hears a voice "There are no fish here".
So he moves a bit further away, makes another hold, puts his lure in and hears again "There are no fish here".
He looks up and asks "God? Is that you"
The voice grumbles "No, d**..., I'm the ice rink groundskeeper".
Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge.
One looks up and sees a f**... procession starting across the bridge.
He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head.
The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.
The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."
The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."