Fishermen Jokes

Following is our collection of halibut humor and fisher one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Fishermen puns for adults, dirty bait jokes or clean boudrea gags for kids.

There is an abundance of marlin jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 38 funniest jokes on fishermen. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any fishmongers witze you can hear about fishermen.

The Best jokes about Fishermen

Fishermen hate him- You won't believe the one item he uses to catch more fish than anyone else

Click bait.

Fishermen hate him—you'll never guess this one strange item he uses to catch more fish than anyone else

Click bait

Back in the day last name said something about your profession...

The Smiths would hammer away creating armor and weapons as blacksmiths. The Fishers would navigate the seas in search as fishermen. And The Dickinsons, well no one really knew what they did.

I started taking fish out of Kansas City and bringing them into Kansas. The local vegans and fishermen got mad at me.

I said, What, I'm just putting them out of their Missouri

Why do fishermen get so many views on YouTube?

Clickbait


Two fishermen caught a mermaid.

One of them holding the mermaid in his arms looked at her attentively and threw her back into the sea.
But why? - asked the other fisherman.
But how? - answered the first one.

Two whales

There were 2 whales swimming around who were very bored when they saw a boat. One whale says to the other, ''I've got an idea for a laugh, why don't we swim under the boat, blow water from our blowholes, and capsize it."

"Okay," says the other whale.


They proceed to do so and swim back down, laughing all the while.
Then the first whale then says, ''I have an even better idea, now that the fishermen are in the water, why don't we swim back up and eat them?''


The other whale then replies ''No thanks. I'm all for the occasional blow job but I never swallow the seamen."

What do fishermen do at a their conferences?

Network.

whale joke

Out in the ocean there are 2 whales watching a fishing boat. When the first whale says to the second "do you wanna see something funny?" the second whales says "sure" so both whales swim under the boat and on the first whales cue they release their blow holes flipping the boat. Both whales now back a safe distance from the boat the first whale says "ahaha that was great, do you know what would be even better?" the second whale says "what?" the first whale then says "if we went and ate the Fishermen" the second whale then says "I don't mind an occasional blow job, but I don't swallow seamen"

Two fishermen are sitting in a boat indulging in some wordplay.

The first one says, "If I tell you a joke that relies on *casting* the word "rod" in a phallic sense, would you find it *fishy*?"

"Oh," says the second one, "I think I can *tackle* it."

"So... *net-net*, you'd take the *bait*?"

"Oh-ho! *Hook, line, and sinker*!"

"I don't mean to *lure* you..."

"Ha-ha! Brilliant, old chap! So, let's... *sea*: we've covered fishing tackle, bait, rods... what did we forget?"

"Well, I think we've covered it. After all, the *reel* jokes are in the comments."

Why are fishermen so good at geometry?

Cause they're good anglers.


A man walks on to a busy fishing pier carrying nothing but tap dance shoes and a large bucket...

The other fishermen notice him changing into these shoes. They stare perplexed, and whisper among themselves. None can figure out what's going on.

The man, now with his shoes on stands up and starts tapping out a quick rhythm. "Click click click" his shoes go as he moves down the pier. Suddenly a fish jumps out of the water on to the pier. It's followed by another, and soon fish are jumping out like crazy.

Satisfied, the man takes off his shoes, and starts loading the fish into his bucket. The other fishermen are very confused now. One of them asks, "Hey, how did you do that? How did that work?" The man with the tap shoes replies "It's called clickbait. How does it work? The answer will SHOCK you!"

What did the prostitute catch when she went out with 5 fishermen?

... A big red snapper

Where do the fishermen store their money

on the River Bank

How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to do the changing and another to talk about how the last bulb was bigger.

I hate working with Jewish fishermen.

They always ask me: "What's your net worth?"

Dad:Look sweetie there's plenty of other fishermen in the sea.

Daughter: Don't you mean fish?

Dad: Jesus Christ! You're a lesbian!?!?

If you watch it backwards. . .

The Shawshank Redemption is about two mexican fishermen who are such great friends that when one of them is sent to prison in Maine, the other one crawls through five hundred yards of foulness you can't even imagine to be with him.

What Supreme Court decision applies to fishermen bringing a small boat to shore?

Row v. Wade


Fishermen...

...are reel men.

A man of God floating around in the ocean after a shipwreck.

Suddenly a small vessel appears. The captain offers to save him. The man replies: "No, i'm fine. God will save me." The Captain leaves him.

After some time, another boat appears. This time, a fishing boat. The fishermen quickly throw in a net into the water and asks the man to grab onto it so they can pull him in. He respectfully declined and said: "God will save me. Dont worry, i have faith".

The man eventually dies and goes to heaven where he meets God. The man says: "i had total faith in you. Why didn't you save me?"

To which god says "Idiot! i sent you two boats."

Why did the failed fishermen stop making his movie?

He couldn't get past casting

How would you describe what Japanese fishermen do?

They have a wale of a time.

Who do fishermen call when they want to sell their property?

They call a Reel-tor!

Three fishermen were out fishing when they suddenly came upon a mermaid.....

The mermaid offered them one wish each,


so the first fisherman said:

"Double my IQ!"


So the mermaid did and to his surprise, he started reciting Shakespeare.

Then the second fisherman said:

"Triple my IQ!"

Sure enough the mermaid did and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn't even know existed.

The third fisherman was so impressed he asked the mermaid to quadruple his IQ.


The mermaid said, "Are you sure about this? It will change your whole life!"

The fisherman said "yes" so the mermaid turned him into a woman.

How do fishermen pickup women?

All-lure

Why do commercial fishermen use nets?

With only a rod you lose a fish in sea.

Three fishermen

Bob, Steve, and Terry are out in the boat, fishing and drinking beer. Terry stands up to pee over the side but falls overboard and sinks right to the bottom.

Steve doesn't hesitate. He kicks off his shoes and dives into the water after Terry. A few moments later, he surfaces, dragging the body behind, and immediately begins mouth-to-mouth.

"Jeez," he gasps. "Terry sure does have bad breath!"

"Yeah," says Bob. "And where did he get that snowmobile suit?"

Three Fishermen

Three fishermen are fishing and one of them catches a magic fish. The magic fish begs for life and says: Please let me go. You each have a wish and I'll make them come true!
The fishermen agreed. One fisherman says, I want to be the president of the United States! , and he becomes the President of the United States, and is now in the White House. The second fisherman says, I want to be a famous movie star! and immediately he's a famous movie star living in his mansion somewhere in Beverly Hills. The last fisherman says, This is a joke! Bring those fools over here so we can catch some fish and go home, it's getting late!

Two fishermen are out on a lake...

One is struggling to get a worm on their lines hook turns to the other and says how did you master bait?

Fishermen are very interesting people

They are both master baiters and professional hookers

Old fishermen never die...

They just smell that way.

Fishermen who bring their catch into the boat all the same way...

...practice net neutrality.

Why did the fishermen buy a new pole?

Just for the halibut.

(JOKE) "A PIRATE RETIRED"vanndukeandsammy

sammy:now that captain hook has retired, to make money, to fishermen at sea he rent himself out as a human fishing pole....(werms extra fee).

What do you call expert fishermen?

Master baiters

What kind of std do fishermen catch?

Crabs!

Reeling in a mermaid

Two fisherman are out on a typical, long journey when they reel in a mermaid. After having a good look, one of the fishermen throws her back in to the water. "Why?!" asks his friend. "How?" he replies.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes