Hilarious Fishermen Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
Bag limit.
A guy was on his boat fishing in a pond and caught way over the bag limit. He was heading back to the dock when the game warden stopped him and asked to check what he caught. The warden opens the fishermen's cooler and sees that the guy has surpassed his limit by about 20 fish. The warden tells the man he has too many fish and he is going to cite the fishermen. The fishermen says "No, you see these are my pet fish. I didn't catch them I called them to me". The warden doesn't believe the guy, and so the fishermen tells the warden he will show him. The guy dumps the cooler of fish in the water. The warden waits a minute and says to the guy "ok now call the fish back".
...
"What fish?"
Three fishermen
Bob, Steve, and Terry are out in the boat, fishing and drinking beer. Terry stands up to pee over the side but falls overboard and sinks right to the bottom.
Steve doesn't hesitate. He kicks off his shoes and dives into the water after Terry. A few moments later, he surfaces, dragging the body behind, and immediately begins mouth-to-mouth.
"Jeez," he gasps. "Terry sure does have bad breath!"
"Yeah," says Bob. "And where did he get that snowmobile suit?"
(JOKE) "A PIRATE RETIRED"vanndukeandsammy
sammy:now that captain hook has retired, to make money, to fishermen at sea he rent himself out as a human fishing pole....(werms extra fee).
Why did the fishermen buy a new pole?
Just for the halibut.
What do fishermen do at a their conferences?
Network.
Reeling in a mermaid
Two fisherman are out on a typical, long journey when they reel in a mermaid. After having a good look, one of the fishermen throws her back in to the water. "Why?!" asks his friend. "How?" he replies.
Why are fishermen so good at geometry?
Cause they're good anglers.
How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to do the changing and another to talk about how the last bulb was bigger.
Two fishermen caught a mermaid.
One of them holding the mermaid in his arms looked at her attentively and threw her back into the sea.
But why? - asked the other fisherman.
But how? - answered the first one.
I hate working with Jewish fishermen.
They always ask me: "What's your net worth?"
What Supreme Court decision applies to fishermen bringing a small boat to shore?
Row v. Wade
You can explore fishermen halibut reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean fishermen bait dad jokes. There are also fishermen puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Fishermen hate him—you'll never guess this one strange item he uses to catch more fish than anyone else
Click bait
Say what you will about fishermen
But they really strive for a fish in sea
Fishermen...
...are reel men.
What did the p**... catch when she went out with 5 fishermen?
... A big red snapper
Old fishermen never die...
They just smell that way.
Where do the fishermen store their money
on the River Bank
Fishermen hate him- You won't believe the one item he uses to catch more fish than anyone else
Click bait.
Why do commercial fishermen use nets?
With only a rod you lose a fish in sea.
Why are fishermen so hip?
Because they are always saying " yeah buoy"
Fishermen who bring their catch into the boat all the same way...
...practice net neutrality.
Dad:Look sweetie there's plenty of other fishermen in the sea.
Daughter: Don't you mean fish?
Dad: Jesus Christ! You're a lesbian!?!?
Why did the failed fishermen stop making his movie?
He couldn't get past casting
If you watch it backwards. . .
The Shawshank Redemption is about two mexican fishermen who are such great friends that when one of them is sent to prison in Maine, the other one crawls through five hundred yards of foulness you can't even imagine to be with him.
Fishermen are very interesting people
They are both master baiters and professional h**...
Who do fishermen call when they want to sell their property?
They call a Reel-tor!
Why do fishermen get so many views on YouTube?
Clickbait
Two fishermen are out on a lake...
One is struggling to get a worm on their lines hook turns to the other and says how did you master bait?
How would you describe what Japanese fishermen do?
They have a wale of a time.
I started taking fish out of Kansas City and bringing them into Kansas. The local vegans and fishermen got mad at me.
I said, What, I'm just putting them out of their Missouri
How do fishermen pickup women?
All-lure
What do you call expert fishermen?
Master baiters
What kind of std do fishermen catch?
c**...!
Back in the day last name said something about your profession...
The Smiths would hammer away creating armor and weapons as blacksmiths. The Fishers would navigate the seas in search as fishermen. And The Dickinsons, well no one really knew what they did.
I don't trust fishermen.
There're always angling for something.
Three fishermen catch a mermaid. If they agree to set her free, she will grant them each a wish. The first guy says, "OK, I want you to double my I.Q." Immediately, the guy recites Shakespeare flawlessly. The second guy asks the mermaid to triple his I.Q.
Suddenly, he's spouting complicated mathematical solutions. Impressed, the last guy asks the mermaid to quintuple his I.Q. The mermaid hesitates and asks, "Are you sure that's what you really want?" "Absolutely!" says the man. The mermaid smiles. Instantly, the third man turns into a woman.
When are Egyptian fishermen less likely to believe what their are told?
When they're in the Nile.
A joke my dad told me today
Two old fishermen are fishing under a bridge. A f**... procession passes over the bridge. One of the old fishermen stands up, takes his hat off and bows his head.
The second old fisherman says Wow, that was really respectful of you to do.
The first old fisherman says Thanks, it's the least I could do. I was married to her for 40 years.
Cannibal
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
Why do fishermen catch barramundi on a Monday?
Because if they caught it a day later, they would have to call it barratuesdi
Why do fishermen catch and sell so much tuna?
Because they can!
