Fisherman Jokes
147 fisherman jokes and hilarious fisherman puns to laugh out loud. Read professions jokes about fisherman that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Bring some fun to any occasion with these hilarious fisherman jokes! Laugh at the bad jokes, puns and one-liners about tridents, hooks, reels and more. Perfect for the fisherman in your life, these jokes are sure to get the party started!
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Funniest Fisherman Short Jokes
Short fisherman jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fisherman humour may include short fishing jokes also.
- In New York City, a fisherman reeled in a 250 pound catfish 6 feet 6 inches long. I don't get what the big deal is. I do that on Tinder every day.
- What did the fisherman do when he really liked a woman? He invited her over to net fish and krill.
- Gender neutral guide: Fireman = Firefighter Policeman = Policefighter
Mailman = Mailfighter
Fisherman = Fisherfighter - What'd the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod. Any cod.
(Ayyy, my 8yo loved it. ) - I went for a job interview and got offered the job as a fisherman but turned it down as the net pay wasn't good
- My parents made a decent living as fisherman even though they could only afford a boat made of balsa wood. They didn't have real hardship.
- What the difference between a Redditor and a fisherman? When a fisherman tells a story, there's usually an element of truth to it.
- The world's first great fisherman possessed something that no man before him ever had. Allure.
- Why did the Australian fisherman get kicked out of the toy store. Because he was throwing shrimp on the barbie.
- Financial adviser meeting FINANCIAL ADVISOR: What's your net worth?
FISHERMAN: Which one?
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Fisherman One Liners
Which fisherman one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fisherman? I can suggest the ones about fishing boat and fish catch.
- What do you call a polish fisherman? A fishing pole.
- What did the fisherman and his girlfriend do last night? Net fish and krill
- How do you know if a fisherman is rich? Check his net income.
- Why did the Little Mermaid run away with the fisherman? He had allure.
- What did the socialist say to the fisherman? Sea's the means of production.
- My fisherman friend got his Master's degree. Now he's a Master Baiter.
- A fisherman was trying to learn the alphabet... he got lost at C
- Why don't you make a deal with a good fisherman? They always have a catch
- What did the fish say to the fisherman? "No one will ever believe you."
- I tried skateboarding to work. Almost drowned. I'm a fisherman.
- What do fisherman and prostitutes agree on? Hookin' ain't easy
- What does the Newfoundland fisherman do on a day off? Net fix and chill
- Why did the fisherman always feel dizzy? Because he had an eye-on the-fish-and-sea.
- What caused the fisherman to go crazy? Pier pressure.
- Did you hear the song about the fisherman? It's pretty catchy.
Bad Fisherman Jokes
Here is a list of funny bad fisherman jokes and even better bad fisherman puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A cop went into a fisherman's house to search for drugs. He had a bad feeling as he walked in. Something seemed fishy.
- How did the bad Canadian fisherman describe his only catch of the day? "Aboot this big"
- What's the difference between a fisherman and a bad boy at school? One baits hooks, the other hates books.
Unearthly Funniest Fisherman Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about fisherman you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fly fishing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fisherman pranks.
Q: How did the blonde fisherman die?
A: He was run over by the Zamboni.
A Fishing Tale
On the shore of the Indian Ocean a raggedy Indian fisherman lay dozing with a hat over his face. Beside him two fishing lines were stuck into the sand.
Up comes an American.
'What are you sleeping for?' says the American. 'You'd be better off catching fish.'
'What for?' asks the fisherman.
'What do you mean, what for? You'd catch some fish, you'd sell them and with the money you'd buy yourself a trawler.
The trawler would catch even more fish. You'd sell it and buy yourself an even bigger boat. You'd catch still more fish. You'd sell it.
Then you'd build yourself a fish processing factory . . . and get rich.
And then you could lie on the beach and sleep.'
The fisherman pulled his hat even further down over his face.
'But that's what I'm doing now.'
Two fisherman friends
Two fisherman friends meet for the first time in months and start to catch up.
* -So how are you?
* -I'm very well. I actually got married recently.
* -Congratulations, that's great news! So how is your wife, is she beautiful?
* -Not really...
* -Ah, so she's smart then?
* -Not at all...
* -Has she got money?
* -Nope.
* -Then why did you marry her?
* -She's got worms.
Fishing secret
A guy is out ice fishing and he hasn't had a bite in hours, but the fellow next to him is pulling in fish after fish. Exasperated, the man finally approached the successful fisherman to find his secret.
"What's your secret buddy, I mean you've been pulling in fish left and right all day long."
"Ooo gahh takee darmns orm" the guy says.
"What??"
"Ooo gahh takee darmns orm"
"I'm sorry, I just can't understand you."
"Oh...," he says and spits something in his hand.
"You've got to keep the worms warm."
Why did the fisherman want to go fishing in Alaska?
Just for the halibut.
Fishy tales
Why couldn't the Egyptian fisherman get over the fact that his boat had sunk?
Because he was stuck in denial.
What was the fisherman's favorite art style
reelism
What does a fisherman say when he catches a fish?
His catch-phrase.
Short n' Sweet, hope you like it!
I ran into a one armed fisherman
I asked if he had any luck. He said "yea caught one this big"
This joke works better in person.
Heard this conversation passing by in college today.
Guy: Do you know why I'm such a good fisherman?
Girl: No why?
Guy: Because I've got a nice rod and I hook all the ladies with it.
Girl: I figured it was because you were a master baiter
Fisherman got jokes...
A little fish humor for everyone.
"Did you do that on Porpoise? Or just for the Halibut?"
"Oh my Cod, save my Sole!"
"You s**..., that smelt, so get your bass out of here!"
Why are fisherman so successful in business?
Because they use "net" profits
Why did everyone love the fisherman?
He was a real catch
What is a fisherman's favorite musical instrument?
The bass guitar.
The f**...
A f**... procession pulled into a cemetery. Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it.
A passer-by remarked, "That guy must have been a very avid fisherman.
"Oh, he still is," remarked one of the mourners. As a matter of fact, he's headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife.
A f**... procession pulled into a cemetery....
Several carloads of family members pulled followed in a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it.
A passerby remarked, "That guy must have been an avid fisherman".
"Oh, he still is." replied a mourner. "He's headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife."
What do you call a Black Fisherman?
j**....
Two fishermen caught a mermaid.
One of them holding the mermaid in his arms looked at her attentively and threw her back into the sea.
But why? - asked the other fisherman.
But how? - answered the first one.
My grandfather was a fantastic fisherman...
they used to call him the "Master-Baiter".
What did the fisherman do on his date?
Netfish and krill
When does a fisherman offend you the most?
When he's completely out of line
What did the fisherman say to the magician?
Pick a cod, any cod!
Why did the fisherman cross the sea?
Just for the halibut.
What do you call a broken fisherman's calculator.
Something fishy that doesn't quite add up.
What did the atheist fisherman say when asked about his catch?
There is no cod
Why did the fisherman commit s**... when the last dolphin died?
Because his life had no porpoise.
Hero of the Soviet Union
[[ Here's a joke from Soviet Russia. "Hero of the Soviet Union" was the highest distinction awarded. ]]
A fisherman catches a wish-granting goldfish. The goldfish tells him to wish for anything.
"I want to be a Hero of the Soviet Union", he says.
A moment later, the fisherman finds himself in Kursk. There are 5 Panzers approaching, and he has three grenades.
Why did the fisherman drill a hole in the ice?
For the Halibut
What's a commercial fisherman's favorite instrument?
Castanets!
What does a religious fisherman eat on Sunday?
Smoked Psalmon
What did the fisherman stream?
A rodcast.
Why did the fisherman cross the road?
Because of pier pressure.
I played a fisherman at tennis and won by a mile.
He spent half the time examining the net.
What do you call a fisherman who is good at geometry?
A master angler.
A coworker has a cold so he took out a pack of Fisherman's Friend. I told that that's what I need
He said "Why, do you have a cold too?"
I replied "No, just lonely."
What did the fisherman name his daughter?
Annette
What do you call a skilled fisherman?
A master baiter.
What did the fisherman say to the card magician
Take a cod, any cod you want
A Blind Professional Fisherman, Is Given the Honerary Title of "Master Baiter"
*He replies* : " It's easy. You just grab your worm, wrap it tight. Cast your pole, and just pray that you inevitably smell something fishy."
A fisherman goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, can you help me!? I've hurt my hand!"
The doctor takes a look and says, "It's nothing too serious, you've pulled a mussel."
What kind of fish can only be caught by a mentally unstable fisherman?
A crayfish.
What Is the Fisherman's Favourite Instrument?
The Castanets
Why was the fisherman upset with his new property?
After selling his sole for a small plaice perched by the sea (something to the tuna 500 square feet), he found something fishy within contract and realised he cod do better if he weren't such a cheap-skate.
Where do fisherman keep their horses
In their BARNacles.
-Made it up today for my little cousin who rolled his eyes. Gf thought it was funny.
Wife : Honey before we got married , you used to give me gifts and expensive jewelry.
Husband : Yes…so ?
Wife : How come you don't do it anymore ?
Husband : Have you ever seen a fisherman give worms to the fish after catching it?
Who makes more money? A lawn mower or a fisherman?
The lawnmower... he gets grass income while the fisherman gets net income
What is the title given to the Best teenage fisherman?
The Master-Baiter.
Why does everyone like the fisherman?
He likes to keep it reel.
What do you get when you cross a fisherman with a jazz enthusiast?
An Anglo-Saxon ^^I'm ^^^So ^^^^Sorry
What did the octopus say when the fisherman cut off its tenticles?
See ya later suckers!
A r**... mistook his own foot for a flounder while flounder gigging...
Later at the hospital, he was chatting with the doctor as the doctor was stitching him up. The doctor was also an avid fisherman too.
Doctor: I see you were using a double pronged gig.
r**...: No, I use a single prong gig.
Doctor: Then why am I stitching up two holes?
r**...: Well the first one is from the gig, the second is from where I tried to put it on the s**....
God Will Save Me
There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, "Do you need help, sir?" The preacher calmly said "No, God will save me." A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey, do you need help?" The preacher replied again, "No God will save me." Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God replied, "Fool, I sent you two boats!"
A request for Fish Jokes
My girlfriend really likes and jokes and fish. But when looking for fish jokes on the web i did not find anything except:
"What did the magician say to the fisherman? Pick a cod, any cod"
"Why don't fish play basketball? because they are afraid of nets"
"What did the fish say when he posted bail? I'm off the hook!"
Does anyone have any good fish jokes to share?
I can't believe that Fisherman told me there were no rivers in Africa
He was clearly in denial
What's the difference between a professional fisherman and a teenage boy?
One's a master baiter, the other's a masturbator!
A fisherman is fishing by the river shore when a man rushes towards him, catches his breath and says:
Man: "Excuse me, have you seen a woman pass by this area?"
Fisherman: "One with a white dress with black stripes?"
Man: "Yes, exactly! She must not be very far away, right?"
Fisherman: "I don't think so, the current isn't very strong today."
A fisherman decided to become a playwriter
His first play had strong lines and good casting. It was a reel hit
Why do movie companies hire fisherman?
Because they're great at casting
Did you hear about that s**... fisherman that nobody likes?
He was a real bass-t**......
"My last name is Smith, because my dad was a blacksmith." "My last name is Fisher, because my dad was a fisherman."
"My last name is Dickinson, and I dont like this game"
My local fisherman keeps trying to lecture me about how the litter from single-use plastics flows downstream into spawning grounds.
I see he's up-to-date with current events.
Why did the Fisherman have to sit with his legs crossed?
Because he caught a Chub
Did you hear about the supremely proper way the Englishman greeted the master fisherman from Jaws?
It was 'ello, Quint!
What did the fish hook say to the fisherman?
Take me to your leader.
What do you call a German fisherman?
Angler Merkel
A fisherman is selling fishing supplies at a market
An insecure rich man comes up to him and asks, what's your net worth?
Why didn't the fisherman care about his wireless internet connection?
Because either-net works when he's catfishing.
What did the fisherman say to the lightning bolt?
"Mr. Spark, I don't reel so good"
