Fish Sticks Jokes

South park fish sticks joke

So do you like fish sticks?
Yes.
Do you like putting fishdicks in your mouth?
Yes.
Then what are you? A gay fish?!

What do you call a fish stuck in a tree?

A fish stick!

How to carve a fish.

In the 70's in Scotland, there was a TV show called 'Weirs Way', where a man called Jim Weir would walk around the highlands, chatting with local characters.

One episode, he met an old man who carved elaborate walking sticks. Jim picked up a stick that had a beautiful leaping salmon for a handle, and said to the old man, "So tell me Archie, how would you go about carving something as intricate as this?"

The old man looked up from his workbench and said, "Well, it's surprisingly simple, Jim. First you take a piece of wood, then you just cut off all the bits that don't look like a fish".

The Old Fisherman

It was raining hard and a big puddle had formed in front of the little Irish pub.

An old man stood beside the puddle holding a stick with a string on the end and jiggled it up and down in the water.

A curious gentleman asked what he was doing.

"Fishing," replied the old man.

"Poor old chap.." thought the gentleman, so he invited the old man to have a drink in the pub.

Feeling he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky, the gentleman asked, "And how many have you caught today?"

"You're the eighth."

It was the Milkman's last day...

It was Greg the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.

At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door and up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced!
When he had enough, they went downstairs where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.
"All of this was just too wonderful for words."

He said, "But what's the dollar for"?

"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you, and he said 'Screw him, give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea."

Luigi the Fisherman

No one in this town could catch any fish except this one little old Italian man. The game warden asked Luigi how he did it.
Luigi said, "Comma down tomorrow...we go fish"

Once they got to the middle of the lake Luigi took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the water. After the explosion fish started floating to the top of the water He took out a net and started picking up the best ones.

"Luigi!" said the game warden, "You know that's illegal!" "I'm going to have to arrest you now."

Luigi took out another stick of dynamite, lit it and handed it to the game warden and said,

"Hey! are you gonna talk or fish?"

Jesus, Moses, and this guy are out golfing...

and the hole is a notorious Par 3 with a huge lake before the green. Moses takes a shot and hits it right into the lake. With his second shot he parts the lake, knocks it on the green, and right after he putts it in for par.

Jesus goes next and he too can't clear the water hazard and the ball just sticks on the surface without sinking. He walked right across the surface of the water where he chipped it in for a birdie.

The two looked back at the man awaiting his shot with smug faces. He hits the ball and like the others it falls right into the lake. Jesus and Moses snicker a little bit before a fish swims to the surface with the ball in it's mouth as an eagle swoops down from the clouds and grabs the fish. As it flies away the ball falls out of the fishes mouth landing on the green where a squirrel runs across and pushes it into the cup for a hole in one.

Moses throws down his club and looks and Jesus and says "Man I HATE playing golf with your Dad!"

Jokes/Puns!

1. What kind of birds always stick together? VEL CROWS.

2. What is a spider's favorite thing to do? SURF THE WEB.

3. What goes around the cow but never moves? THE FENCE.

4. Why didn't cheddar cheese want to hang out with bleu cheese? BECAUSE HE HAD A MOLDY PERSONALITY.

5. Why do fish swim in schools? BECAUSE THEY CANT WALK IN SCHOOLS.

6. How do you catch a unique rabbit? YOU NIQUE UP ON IT.

A crook walks into a bait and tackle store and sees the cashier is blind.

She asks him for a 50 dollar fishing rod, and he walks over and shows it to her. Then she thanks him and sticks a 100 dollar rod into her cart.

But the blind man isn't stupid, and when she rings it up, he feels the rod and he says "that will be 100 dollars for the fishing rod."

the woman is so embarassed at being caught stealing she rips a loud one.

"and that will be $5.89 for the duck call and $3.29 for the musk scent"

A game warden heard about a guy that was dynamite fishing.

He needed to arrest him, but he had to catch him in the act. One night, he found the guy down at the local bar, so he decided to go undercover. They talked for a while and finally the guy asked him if he wanted to go fishing the next day. The warden said sure.

The next day, they went out, and after a while, the guy reached into a box under his seat. Sure enough, he pulls out a stick of dynamite, lights it, and throws it in the water. The warden pulls out his badge and tells him that he's under arrest.

The guy looks at him and calmly pulls out another stick, lights it, and tosses it at the wardens feet. He then says "you gonna talk or are you gonna fish?"

There was this blind man right, he was feelin his way down the street with his stick right,

he walks past the fish market, took a deep breath and said... phew,

Good morning ladies

So there's this blind man right

He's walking down the street feeling around with his stick. He stops in front of this fish market. He stops and takes a deep breath. And says: Good Morning Ladies!

What do fish sticks use to get their motors running?

Tartar Fluid.

What is the motto for the fish stick factory?

In cod we crust.

I glued a fish to a wall once

Have you ever seen a fish stick?

do you like fish-sticks?

So does my kid.

We have collected gags that can be used as Fish Sticks pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Fish Sticks, here are one liners and funny Fish Sticks pick up lines.

Joko Jokes