Fish Jokes

Funniest Fish Short Jokes

Short fish jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fish humour may include short flies jokes also.

1. Give a Man a Fish and You Will Feed Him for a Day. Teach a man to fish and he will spend a fortune on gear he will only use twice a year.
2. Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will spend hundreds of dollars on equipment he will
   use twice a year
3. Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day. Teach a man to phish, he will become a Nigerian Prince.
4. My teacher didn't believe me when I said I had 36 pets so I showed her a picture of my fish tank. She freaked out when she saw how many dogs I could fit in there.
5. Fishermen hate him- You won't believe the one item he uses to catch more fish than anyone else Click bait.
6. I phoned the wife earlier and asked if she wanted me to pick up Fish and Chips on the way home, but she just grunted at me. I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.
7. Donald Trump was asked if he could quote any Bible verses. He replied,"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Deport him and you do not have to feed him again."
   Trump 20:16
8. Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Give a man a poisoned fish, and you feed him for the rest of his life.
9. Fishermen hate him—you'll never guess this one strange item he uses to catch more fish than anyone else Click bait
10. Why do koi fish travel in groups of four? To protect the group from predators. When attacked, kois A, B, and C will go in one direction. The fourth one is the D koi.

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Fish One Liners

Which fish one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fish? I can suggest the ones about frog and marine.

1. Why do Americans fish with a gun? So they get the whole school.
2. what kind of fish is made up of 2 atoms only? 2Na
3. What kind of STD's do fish get? Merm-aids
   
4. What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms? 2 Na
5. Give a man a fish and feed him for a day Give a fish a man and feed it for a month
6. What do you call a polish fisherman? A fishing pole.
7. Why are fish poorly educated? All the schools are below C level.
8. What fish is made of only two sodium ions? 2 Na
   :D
9. What fish is made of 2 sodium atoms? 2Na
10. I spent the afternoon by my wife's grave... ...she thinks it's going to be a fish pond
11. Why did Noah have so much difficulty fishing on the ark? He only brought two worms.
12. Vegans who drink water disgust me. That's a Fish's house you filthy Savage.
13. Why did the American start shooting the river? He learned fish swim in schools
14. How do you draw the most realistic fish? It must be drawn to scale.
15. Just finished building doors for my fish. I'm highly skilled in the field of carp-entry.

Walking My Fish Jokes

Here is a list of funny walking my fish jokes and even better walking my fish puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A fish walks into a bar It took him 395 million years.
• A man walks into a library and orders fish and chips. The librarian says, "this is a library."
  The man, says, "oh. Sorry." (Then in a whisper) "I'd like some fish and chips."
• A man walks into a seafood shop carrying a trout under his arm. "do you make fish cakes?"
  "Yes we do" replies the fishmonger...
  "Great" says the man, ït's his birthday"
• A man walks into a library. Man: Fish and chips, please.
  Librarian: Sir, this is a library.
  Man: \*whispers\* *Sorry. Fish and chips, please.*
• Fish Cakes A guy walks into a bar with a salmon under his arm and says, "Do you sell fish cakes here?"
  Bartender: No we don't.
  Guy: That's a shame... it's his birthday.
• A fish walks into a bar. "What'll it be?" the bartender asks. "Gin? Whiskey?
  "Water," the fish says, and collapses
  ----
  ^this ^is ^what ^you ^get ^when ^jokes ^are ^OC
• A Polar Bear walks into a bar... ... he says to the server, "Hello, I'd like some fish and chips.."
  The server says, "We don't serve polar bear here."
  The Polar Bear says, "Oh Thank God."
  
• I kept asking the aquarium owner about the walking fish. He said 'you axolotl questions!'
• A Canadian walks into a restaurant... He orders some fish, and the waitress asks, "how would you like your fish cooked?"
  He replies, "Friday."
• Man walks into a fishmonger carrying a trout under his arm... He asks the shopkeeper, Do you sell fish cakes?
  Shopkeeper replies Of course!
  Man says, Thank god, it's his birthday!

Eating Fish Jokes

Here is a list of funny eating fish jokes and even better eating fish puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Teach a man to fish, and he'll be able to eat for a lifetime Teach a Nigerian to phish, and he'll become a prince.
• I took my grandma to one of those fish spa's where the fish eat your dead skin Sooooo much cheaper than burying her in the cemetery.
• Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a poisoned fish, and he'll eat for a lifetime.
• Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
• Give a Nigerian a fish he'll eat for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince and start e-mailing people.
• Give a man a fish and he can eat for a day Give a woman a fish and you're 'that weird fish guy.'
• Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, Teach a man to phish and he'll empty an old woman's savings account.
• Dark I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. 
   
  It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
• Hacker Jesus Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man how to phish and he'll steal your bank password - hacker Jesus
• What do sea monsters like to eat? Fish and ships

Fish Catch Jokes

Here is a list of funny fish catch jokes and even better fish catch puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Dating is a lot like fishing Sure, there's plenty of fish in the sea. But until i catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod.
• What do you call a girl who catches fish? Anette.
  ^^^^Just^thought^of^this^i'm^sorry^it's^bad..
• They say that there are plenty of fish in the sea. But until I catch one, I'm just going to be sitting here, holding my rod.
• They say there are plenty of fish in the sea. But until you catch one you're just holding your rod.
• Finding a girlfriend is a lot like fishing... There are plenty of fish in the sea, but it's just you holding your rod until you catch one.
• Son : Dad, how do I catch fish? Dad : Just throw this clickbait into the water
  Son : And then what?
  Dad : What happens next will shock you
• There's plenty more fish in the sea But until I catch one I'm left here holding my rod.
• A father takes his son fishing Son: Dad, can you teach me how to catch fish?
  Dad: Sure, son! first you throw the clickbait into the water
  Son: What next?
  Dad: What happens next will shock you!
• Chinese Proverb Catch a man a fish and he eats for day. Teach a man to fish and you never see him on weekends.
• Did you hear about the 6 guys and the woman that went fishing? The guys didn't catch anything, but the woman came home with a red snapper.

Catching Fish Jokes

Here is a list of funny catching fish jokes and even better catching fish puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Our local fish market ranks their catches on how rare they are I noticed today that they had rare salmon. It definitely isn't common plaice!
• Every fish you catch and release goes home with an alien abduction story.
• What do you call a women that catches fish? Annette
• How does a Buzzfeed writer catch fish? Clickbait.
• How do you catch a steroidal fish? With A-Rod.
• Most people tell me there are many fish in the sea. So till i catch one imma play with my rod
• What do you call a woman who is really good at catching fish? Annette.
• Investigating Hillary Clinton is like fishing on Discovery Channel ... you catch them, you show them, and you let them go.
• I was told that you catch more fish if you put maggots in your mouth for 5m before attaching them to your rod. Is this true? I await your replies with baited breath.
• There are plenty of fish in the sea... ...and they're easy to catch if you've got a big rod.

Cheerful Fun Fish Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about fish you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean duck jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fish pranks.