First Graders Jokes

22 first graders jokes and hilarious first graders puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about first graders that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest First Graders Short Jokes

Short first graders jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The first graders humour may include short first grade jokes also.

  1. Where do you find a horse with no legs? Where you left him.
    Told to me today by a first grader.
  2. My first grader made this one up: What do you call the northern lights when they're not very interesting? Aurora Boringalis
  3. On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read…. "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
  4. What did one hurricane say to the other? I was very concerned my first grader was about to say "blow me" in the middle of a busy store, but "I've got my eye on you" was the answer.

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First Graders One Liners

Which first graders one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with first graders? I can suggest the ones about second grade and 2nd grade.

  1. Why nobody bullies a first grader mexican kid in school his dad is in the 4th grade
  2. Whats a punch that can kill 28 first graders? A Sandy Hook
  3. How do you kill 42 first graders in one punch? A Sandy Hook.
  4. Why do first graders make terrible gardeners? Because they can't w**....

First Graders Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about first graders you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean third grade jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make first graders pranks.

Smart first grader

A first-grade teacher can't believe her student isn't hepped-up about the Super Bowl. It's a huge event. Why aren't you excited?
Because I'm not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too, says the student.
Well, that's a lousy reason, says the teacher. What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?
Then I'd be a football fan.


Three first-graders are flunking their class. The teacher calls them in and tells them: "I will ask you one question each, if you can answer it, you pass."
"Jim, how do you spell 'Cow'?"
"Jack, how do you spell 'Car'?"
"Muhammad, how do you spell 'Racial discrimination'?"

A class of 3rd graders return from their field trip to the farm and the teacher asks them, "what kind of noises did you hear at the farm?"

The first kid raises his hand and says, "I heard the cow go moo!"
The second kid raises his hand and says, "I heard the pig go oink!"
The third kid raises his hand and says, "I heard the farmer yell 'get off my tractor you little f**...!'"

A w**... Contest.

Three 3rd Graders, an Irish, an Italian, and a Black are in the bathroom during recess and they decide to have a w**... contest to see who has the biggest w**...! The Irish boy pulls his out first and it's pretty small. The Italian goes next and it's about average. Then the Black Boy pulls his out and it's clearly the largest, but the other boys say "Well you won, but it's because you're black!"
So that night when the black boy goes home, his mom asks him what he did in school that day. He tells her how they did coloring, and reading, and what they learned, and how he played recess, but then he says "And mom, today me and my friends had a w**... contest, and I won! But mom, the others boys said I only won because I'm black". To which his mom replies "Tyrone, you didn't win because you're black, you won because you're 17!"

Place Value

This is not so much of a joke as an amusing true story.
I was teaching math to some first graders, and we had been discussing place value for the past week.
It was Friday and I had been explaining that a 1 in the one's place is worth 1, but a 1 in the ten's place was worth 10.
So, I said to the class, " One, zero. Now what does that mean."
A young fellow in the back of the room raised his hand and said, "The end of the easy numbers."

Billy at school

The teacher asks Billy, the first grader, questions about animals:
T: Billy, what do we get from pigs?
B: Meat
T: That's right! And what do we get from sheep?
B: Wool
T: Correct! And what do we get from cows?
B: Homework

Growing up, my parents never grounded me unless they were really really mad.

I can remember the first time they caught me drinking under age. Mom freaked out and grounded me for a month, but I guess that was a reasonable response for a parent of a second grader.

The most famous person of all times

Who is the most famous person of all times. That was a subject of a contest among Catholic School's 5th graders with $100 prize. The teacher asked Jon first. He said it was Bill Clinton. The next one was Kevin who said it was Gorge Washington. After collecting responses from almost all participants the teacher with not much hope asked the last girl, Sarah, who happen to be Jewish. Sara raised and said. I think it was Jesus. The teacher was jubilant and pronounced Sarah as the winner of $100. After school the teacher approached Sarah and asked her. How come you as a Jew chose Jesus instead of Moses? To that Sarah replied. Sure, Moses is my hero, but business is business.

Little johnny

Ms. Apple was teaching her class of first graders the alphabet. She was going around the room to each student and would ask them recite the alphabet.
When she saw little johnny was next she was prepared for the worst, as johnny has had a reputation for acting up.
She cautiously asks johnny to say the alphabet and he says, "abcefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz".
Ms. Apple is relieved, since this is the first day she has taught the alphabet she is surprised that he only left out one letter. She lets johnny know that he forget one letter. To wich johnny responds, "sorry I didn't realize you wanted the d.

My favorite racist joke is more funny than it is offensive -

On the elementary school playground, there was a group of boys that liked to play basketball. Tyrone, a fourth grader, was the only black boy in the school, and far outperformed his peers in most athletic contests. He could run faster and jump higher than any other student at the school. He could easily outrun and out jump even the fastest and tallest fifth and sixth grade boys. When they played basketball, Tyrone's team could only play three players at a time to be fair, and he was still always picked first.
"You're the best at basketball because you're black, Tyrone," the other boys would say. Tyrone would wonder about this. His mama always told him not to think he was any different than any of those white boys. Being black didn't mean he was any better or any worse than anyone else. But he was obviously better at basketball than any of the white kids at his elementary school, so what else could it be?
Tyrone got home from school one day and asked his mama, "Mama, I can jump higher and run faster than any of the other kids at the school. Even the fifth and sixth graders. Is it a 'cause I'm black?"
"Naw," Mama said, "you's the fastest runner and highest jumper 'coz you's the only one who's twenty two."