Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Fireworks Jokes and Friends
The police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
The police charged one and let the other one off.
Last year I took a visual design class...
...and our final exam was to design a fireworks display.
I passed with flying colors.
Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?
Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.
A policeman sees two boys, one with batteries, the other with fireworks
He charges the first boy and lets the other off.
Did you hear about the fight between the fireworks and battery factories?
It turns out the batteries were charged but the fireworks were let off.
Unnecessary Arrests
The other day, a police officer was walking through the park. He saw two kids. One of the kids was eating fireworks. The other was drinking battery acid. The officer immediately arrested both kids and brought them to the station. When they got there, the officer's superior told him to let one of the kids off and charge the other one.
Two thieves were caught with a load of stolen batteries and fireworks...
...one of them was charged, and the other was let off.
Why wasn't Euro Disney popular?
Every time they set off the fireworks, the French surrendered.
What do you get when you cross a tyrannosaurus rex with fireworks?
DINO-MITE!
I hide photos on my computer of me
I hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in a file named Fireworks and vacuums so my dog won't find them.
Two boys were arrested...
Two boys were arrested -- one was drinking battery acid, and one was eating fireworks.
The authorities charged one and let one off.
You can explore fireworks fire reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean fireworks bang dad jokes. There are also fireworks puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
TIL that if you plug your amp into a 12" instead of your 8", you get fireworks.
Whoops. Wrong sub.
Did you hear about the Rabbi who made his own fireworks? He called them
Mazel Tov Cocktails
^(I am **so** sorry)
^^I'll ^^see ^^myself ^^out.
So a policeman see's two kids in a street corner
One's drinking battery acid while the other is eating fireworks
So the policeman charged one and let one off
July 4th PSA: On one hand fireworks are a lot of fun.
On the other hand I only have 2 fingers.
I'm going to give my neighbors calendars for Christmas.
They obviously don't know when 4th of July is because I hear fireworks everywhere.
Last 4th I remember watching the fireworks on the TV
In hindsight, that probably wasn't the best place to light them
What company makes the best fireworks?
Spacex
The police arrested 2 kids today
One was eating batteries and the second was eating fireworks
They charged the first one and let the other off
How are women similar to fireworks?
They're fun to watch from a distance, dangerous up close, and can be ignited by the smallest spark.
To celebrate the new year, the UK set off tonnes of fireworks in London. GF: this is such a waste of money. There are homeless people and people starving, and the government pay for this!
Me: yes, but blowing them up would be wrong.
Two guys were just arrested.
I just saw on the news that two guys have been arrested in the city centre. One was drinking battery fluid and the other was chewing fireworks. One of them was charged but the other was let off.
The police arrested two suspicious men in a car park today.
One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.
What's your favorite game as a resident of Chicago?
Mine is "Gunshots Or Fireworks?"
Fireworks remind me of s**.....
I'm always surprised when it lasts more than a few seconds.
I was afraid I might fail my fireworks exam
But I passed with flying colors
Two kids were arrested last night. One ate a battery, the other ate fireworks.
They charged the first, and let the other one off.
-Son, remember that in many ways, life is like a display of fireworks on a clear winter night.
-Beautiful?
-Nope. A pure loss, but fun none the less!
little Johnny's father gives him $50 to buy some fireworks for new year
When he returns, they try a couple but none of them worked
"Johnny, where did you get these fireworks? None of them work"
"Strange, when I was on the way back, I tried them all and they worked just fine"
This 4th of July, remember: Alcohol and Fireworks do NOT mix
Spilling even a little beer on a fuse can ruin fireworks.
My dog hates the 4th of July
Not because of the fireworks or anything, he's just going through a communist phase right now
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
Hey! You stole my thunder.
Credit to my nine year old daughter on the 4th
On the 4th of july firefighters fight fire with fire
Because fireworks
Two men were arrested, one drank battery acid and the other ate fireworks...
One was charged while the other was let off.
Why do people use fire during new year
Because fireworks
I know many people have been appalled by reopen protestors risking public health for questionable reasoning. But, just remember 2-3% of em' will be dead in the next few months anyway....
....not from Coronavirus but from fireworks accidents and ATV rollovers
Little Peter
Came in to class one day with burns all over his face.
The teacher asked him what happend.
"Well i bought a crate of fireworks and..."
"There you have it kids, fireworks are a real danger" the teacher interupted
"Thats exactly what my father said as he threw it into the fireplace"
My humor is so dry...
I'm legitimately worried about stray fireworks this weekend.
People are currently shooting fireworks off in my neighborhood. I'm usually all for shooting fireworks to celebrate the founding of the greatest nation on Earth, but come on...
Canada Day was yesterday!
Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire.
Fire-works on 4th of July.
Many veterans experience PTSD from the loud bangs of fireworks around holidays like 4th of July and New Years. My advice to them is to use noise-cancelling headphones, Netflix, and pharmaceutical-grade w**....
Just like the children of Kabul.
Police found a couple kids the other day, one eating fireworks and the other eating batteries.
They let one off but charged the other.
Totally sick of idiots letting fireworks off early, it's still October for goodness sake!!!
Dog is going mad and keeps knocking the Christmas tree over!
Fireworks have been really popular in 2020.
Sales have skyrocketed.
Karen
Police arrested two Karens yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other off.
How do you know if you've bought good fireworks?
When the guy running the store gives you a high four.
This is ridiculous. It's July 6th and people are still setting off fireworks.
One almost caught our Christmas decorations on fire.
A guy from Jersey bought a search engine and some fireworks.
He bought-a-bing and bought-a-boom
A police officer came across a pair of boys eating fireworks and batteries
He decided to charge one and let the other off
I will have to do some research on fireworks
to know which one will give me bang for the buck.
A guy and a girl are set up on a blind date…
… despite some apprehension they both hit it off and agree to a second date.
Date two comes and there's even more fireworks, ending with a kiss goodnight.
Finally, a third date comes and at the end she invites him inside to spend the night.
As they're fooling around, she says If we're going to go to bed together, theres probably something you should know. When I was a little girl I was in an accident and I lost both my feet, so both my feet are prosthetic .
Slightly taken aback, the guy says I'm really sorry, I like you a lot. But if that's the case we can't be together .
Obviously very upset, she asks Why?! Are you a bigot or something?!
No he replies I'm lack-toes intolerant .
2 Boys Arrested at Independence Day Parade
One boy was eating fireworks and the other was drinking battery acid.
They charged one and let the other one off.
Two kids on my street got arrested today.
One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks.
Only one of them was charged; the other was let off.
A Little Known Fact About the Works of J.R.R Tolkien
For his Eleventy-first birthday, instead of fireworks, Bilbo initially asked Gandalf if he could bring the band that plays Dream Police to perform a concert at the party.
This enraged Gandalf however, as Bilbo Baggins took him for some conjurer of Cheap Trick.
