Fireman Jokes
73 fireman jokes and hilarious fireman puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fireman that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover fireman jokes that will make you laugh out loud! From classic fireman cartoons to jokes about fireman hoses, fireman poles and more, these jokes will be sure to put out the fire! Fun for all ages, these jokes will leave you wanting more. From fireman vs police jokes, to wagon and retardant jokes, the laughs are never-ending!
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Funniest Fireman Short Jokes
Short fireman jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fireman humour may include short firefighter jokes also.
- Gender neutral guide: Fireman = Firefighter Policeman = Policefighter
Mailman = Mailfighter
Fisherman = Fisherfighter - Did you hear about the Mexican fireman that had twins? He named one José.
He named the other one hose B. - The fireman looked at my burning car and said, Any idea how it started? I said, I just had to use my keys.
- My dad's better than your dad... Three kids are in an agruement about who's dad is better.
"My dad's a fireman" said Billy.
"My dad's a marine!" said Johnny.
"My dad's invisible." said Brian. - My uncle always said to fight fire with fire... I guess thats why he's not a fireman anymore.
- Ever walk into a room and completely forget why you were in there? Yeah, that's why I'm no longer a fireman.
- A 6 story building is on fire Fireman 1: Your turn to choose… you want the ladder or the stairs?
Fireman 2: Ok, I'll take the latter
Fireman 1: Ok, I'll take the ladder - If a fireman offers you two ways to escape your burning house... ...always take the latter.
- So I Saw A Fireman Smoking Outside The Station and I thought, 'I wonder how many cigarettes are started by fires?'
- Request - sfw fireman joke I work service industry and there is a fireman union conference. The more dad joke the better
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Fireman One Liners
Which fireman one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fireman? I can suggest the ones about fire fighters and fire chief.
- What do you call a fireman who lost his job? A Firedfighter
- What do you do when you see a fireman? you put it out, man
- A fireman has two sons. He named the first one Jose. What did he name the second? Hose B
- I grew up thinking my dad was a fireman Then I realised he was just an arsonist
- 'Wherever I go, I'm greeted with much warmth' Martin, 37, Fireman.
- What happened to the Fireman's Pole? He tiled the Fireman's bathroom.
- I was using smoke signals and was surprised by who responded Fireman
- I'm convinced neymar used to be a fireman.. Because he sure can stop drop and roll
- What fireman is doing in a gym? Burns calories.
- When I Grow Up I'm Going To Become a Fireman I hope I never grow up.
I hate fireman. - Why did the vengeful fireman lose his job? He tried fighting fire with fire.
- My Italian grandmother just got a stair chair lift, I asked her how she likes it... she said ... "IT DRIVES ME UP THE f**... WALL"
- What did the fireman say when he noticed his hammer was on fire? This is not a drill.
- What did the dog say to the fireman? The roof is on fire.
- If my work did a 'fireman' style calendar, I'd probably get stuck with Mr... Photographer
Gather Around for Heartwarming Fireman Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about fireman you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fire department jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fireman pranks.
At this time of the year....
....there's nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, and singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep.
And that's why I'm no longer a fireman...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Fireman See's a Little Girl
that has her own homemade firetruck with her dog and a red wagon.He says to the little girl, "That's a nice looking firetruck little missy!" She then says, "Thank You!" He keeps checking it out when he notices that the rope that's tied to the wagon is tied to the dogs t**....He tells the little girl, "Sweetie, I think your firetruck would go a lot faster if the rope was tied to the dogs neck." She replies, "Oh I know that Sir!But then it wouldn't have a siren!"
What did the gay fireman say on 9/11
praise the lord, its raining men
I used to be a cross dressing fireman...
...I kept getting a ladder in my tights.
Why did they bury the fireman beneath the hill?
because he was DEAD
What happened to the fireman who let the house burn?
He got fired.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For the Australians out there!
Tony was at school this morning when the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living.
All the typical answers came out: Policeman, Fireman, Salesman, etc. But Tony was being uncharacteristically quiet and so teacher asked him about his father.
'My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him.'
The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little tony aside to ask him if that was really true.
'No' said Tony, 'He plays cricket for Australia, but I was just too embarrassed to say'.
What Does Your Father Do?
It is the first day of kindegarten and the teacher is going around the room asking everyone what their father does for work.
1st Child: My dad is a policeman, he sends bad guys to jail!
2nd Child: My dad is a fireman, he puts out fires!
3rd Child: My dad is dead.
The teacher asks:
Well, what did your father do before he died?
3rd Child: Well, he went "AAAAKKKKKKKKK"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A fireman is at the station house working outside..
A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little boy next door. The little boy is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. He is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog.
The fireman says Hey little boy. What are you doing? The little boy says I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck! The fireman walks over to take a closer look. Little boy that sure is a nice fire truck! the fireman says.
Thanks mister , says the little boy. The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little boy has tied the dog to the wagon by its t**....
Little boy , says the fireman, I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck I think you could go faster.
The little boy says, You're probably right mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren!
A Frenchman calls the fire department...
He wakes up and his kitchen is ablaze. He calls the local fire department and says " Sacre Bleu! You must 'elp me! There eez a fire please come and put eet out ! "
The fireman on the phone responds " Calm down, we'll be right there, just tell us how to get there"
The Frenchman , confused , asks the fireman , " 'ow do you get 'ere? What 'appened to your big red trucks?!"
Three kids are bragging about what their fathers do
The first says proudly, "My father is a policeman and he protects people."
The second says equally proudly, "My father is a fireman and he saves people."
The third looks triumphant when he exclaims, "My father eats lightbulbs."
The other two look at him doubtfully, but he continues, "I swear, because last night I walked by his bedroom door and I heard him tell my mother that if she put out the light, then he'd eat it."
A fireman walks into a burning building with a jacket on
It was a Blazer
A fireman is at the station house
A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door. The little girl is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. She is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog.
The fireman says, "Hey little girl. What are you doing?"
The little girl says "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!"
The fireman walks over to take a closer look. "Little girl that sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman says.
"Thanks mister," says the little girl.
The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little girl has tied the wagon to the dog's "privates."
"Little girl," says the fireman, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck I think you could go faster."
The little girl says, "You're probably right mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren!"
When I grow up!
One day a child and his mother were walking down the sidewalk when they came upon a burning building. The fire department had just showed up and all the people inside were saved by the strong firemen. The little kid looks to his mother and says "mom, when I grow up I'm gonna be a fireman!". The mother replies "you're not going to grow up!, you've got luekimia!"
A man was trapped in a burning building...
...on the 12th floor. He ran to the open window and saw a fireman approaching on a long ladder. He felt so relieved to be saved. Before climbing out the window he yelled to the fireman,
"What should I do? Should I go down with you on the ladder, or should I jump to the ground?"
The fireman said, 'The ladder."
The man died.
Two friends are in a bar when suddenly the towns fire horn sounds
the one friend jumps up and heads towards the door.
"I didn't know you were a fireman!" the friend says.
"I'm not," says the other, "my girlfriend's husband is!"
They say that you should always dress for the job you want and not the job you have, so all week I have been coming into the office dressed as a fireman.
I can't say that the reaction has been positive overall, but I'm going to stick with it, because I think perseverance is a pretty important trait to have if your job is fighting fires.
Three guys are talking about things they can't stand...
The first guy is a police officer and says "One thing i can't stand is people who speed."
The second guy is a fireman and says "One thing i can't stand is when people play with matches."
The third guy is in a wheelchair and says "One thing i can't stand is up."
A Minsk fireman gets home from work...
... and says to his wife, "They told me that tomorrow I either go to Chernobyl or hand in my Party card."
"But you're not in the party," she replies.
"Right, so I'm wondering how do I get a Party card by tomorrow morning?"
A teacher instructed a second-grade student to give a sentence about a public servant
"The fireman came down the ladder pregnant", he answered.
"Umm... Do you know what pregnant means?"
"Yes", said the boy. "It means carrying a child."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A r**... Came Home and Found His House on Fire
A r**... came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Say, don't you still have those big red trucks?"
Cat Joke
A man goes on a business trip and has his best friend watch his cat. In the middle of his trip, he calls to check on things, but his friend says, "Yeah, your cat died."
So the man gets upset. "You can't just say that! You should have broke it to me slowly. Like, this time, you could have said, 'she's on the roof, but the fire department is getting her down'. Next time I called, you could say 'the fireman dropped her and they took her to the vet'. Third time, 'sorry man, they did all they could, but Fluffy passed away'."
His friend says. "Alright, I'll remember that."
The man sighs. "So how's my mother doing?"
"Oh, she's on the roof, but the fire department is getting her down."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a Mexican fireman ?
Josè.......
What do you call the second Mexican fireman?
Hose-b
Dark as charcoal
A mother goes to the kindergarten to pick up her daughter.
She arrives to a nightmarish scene, the whole place is crawling with fireman, emergency vehicles and panicked parents, the kindergarten caught on fire, smoke everywhere.
She runs around frantically calling for her daughter: "Amber! has anyone seen my Amber!?!"
She tries to run inside the smouldering ruins of the kindergarten, but a fireman stops her, and says: "Sorry ma'm, but there's only Ashleys in there."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I think I'd be a sick fireman
After all, I'm amazing at turning the h**... on.
I like to walk away from explosions because it makes me feel cool.
That's how I lost my job as a fireman.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My favorite quote is: "Kill it with fire"...
Shouldn't have wrote that on my resume when I applied for a fireman.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Don't you hate it when you get r**... by fireman,
and you get firebrig-aids.
The kindergarten teacher asked her kids what the wanted to be when they grew up
One kid said, "I want to be a fireman!"
One kid said, "I want to be a policeman!"
One kid said, "I want to be possible!"
The teacher asked, "What do you mean you want to be possible?"
The boy said, "Well my mom always says that I'm impossible."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the fireman say when he walked into the burning s**... club?
Where my hose at?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A fireman kicks down the door of a house and carries the family out 1 by 1, but there is no fire. A week later the building catches ablaze.
He suffers from p**... evacuation.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Irish fireman (slightly racist)
p**... was at a fire one day but he had forgot his ladder. He managed to persuade the first person, a middle aged white woman that he would catch her, and he did. Then her mother followed, again p**... caught her. Next a black man jumped out and fell straight to the pavement.
p**... shouted up "don't be throwing out the burned ones!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They call me fireman
Cuz I turn on the h**...
A mathematician wants more excitement and wants to become a volunteer fireman on the weekends
He goes through the training, and proceeds to take the written final exam.
Question 1: You come across a car that is flipped upside down and on fire with the driver still in it. What do you do?
The mathematician answers with the steps he was taught in training.
Question 2: You come across a car that is flipped upside down with the driver still in it. What do you do?
The mathematician answers, Set the car on fire. Now it is a solved problem.
The fireman climbs the ladder to a bedroom of a burning house, and there he finds a curvaceous brunette.
\`Ah,\` he says, \`you're the second pregnant girl I've rescued this year.\`
\`But I'm not pregnant!\`
\`You're not rescued yet.\`
Never literally taking cooking instructions…
After my first attempt to make a cake, the fireman told me that when it says to grease the bottom of the pan, they meant to say the inside of the pan . . .
