Firefighter Jokes
78 firefighter jokes and hilarious firefighter puns to laugh out loud. Read professions jokes about firefighter that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for funny firefighter jokes? This collection of jokes about firefighters is sure to bring a smile to your face. From firefighters putting out fires to firefighters rescuing kittens from trees, these jokes will have you laughing out loud.
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Funniest Firefighter Short Jokes
Short firefighter jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The firefighter humour may include short fireman jokes also.
- My friend got jailed 6 months for pulling 4 people out of a burning building. Turns out they were firefighters.
- Why couldn't the Mexican be a Firefighter? Because he didn't know the difference between Jose and Hose B.
- The firefighters in Greece are making the fire worse. You aren't supposed to use water on Greece fires.
- Gender neutral guide: Fireman = Firefighter Policeman = Policefighter
Mailman = Mailfighter
Fisherman = Fisherfighter - Why are the majority of firefighters men? They've been training with fluid launching cannons since the day they were born.
I'll show myself out. - What did the pyromaniacs say when their kid told them he wanted to be a firefighter? *gasp* YOU'RE NOT ARSON ANYMORE
- The people you meet as a firefighter are really weird sometimes. I met this woman today who kept demanding I shave her baby.
- My friend got sent to prison for pulling out 3 people from a burning building Unfortunately, it turned out they were firefighters
- Did you hear about the Japanese firefighter who changed careers to aviation in 1940? He went from hero to Zero.
- Firefighters recovered just the bottom of one shoe after the shoe factory burned down It was the sole survivor.
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Firefighter One Liners
Which firefighter one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with firefighter? I can suggest the ones about fire fighters and fire chief.
- My father always told me you gotta fight fire with fire Great guy, horrible firefighter.
- What kind of girls date firefighters? Hose.
- What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons? José and Josb
- What award do you give a firefighter? most extinguished
- What do you call women firefighters? Firehoes
- What do you call two mexican firefighters? Hose A and Hose B.
- What did the Hispanic firefighter name his kids? José and Hose-B
- What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Hose-A and Hose-B
- What do cops and firefighters have in common? They both wanted to be firefighters.
- If a firefighter has 2 eyes, then what does a ballerina have? Two, too
- My cooking is so great.... ...that firefighters like to come and watch.
- What do you call a mentally disabled firefighter? Flame retardant
- My father always told me "Fight fire with fire" He lost his job as a firefighter.
- Guys, I'm dating a lady firefighter tonight! You think she might put out?
- How can you tell someone's a firefighter? Don't worry, they'll tell you.
Volunteer Firefighter Jokes
Here is a list of funny volunteer firefighter jokes and even better volunteer firefighter puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- No one understands how important milliseconds are, better than volunteer firefighters It's the amount of time they have from meeting you, to telling you they are a volunteer firefighter.
- TIL... Tomorrow I learned that Steve Buscemi was a volunteer firefighter on Sep....
- Did you know that on 911... Bill from the Bronx was a volunteer firefighter
Cheeky Firefighter Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about firefighter you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fire department jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make firefighter pranks.
A little girl lives next to a fire house...
She admires the fire fighters so much she makes her own firetruck. It consists of her wagon, with the team of her cat in front with a string tied to his t**..., and her dog which lacks the testicular string, however has a harness and reins for her to lead him with. The firefighters see it, and have to ask why the string on the cat. She replies "I need a siren too."
Cats and ladders
A fire-fighter was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl was wearing a fire-fighter's helmet.
The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.
The fire-fighter walked over to take a closer look.
"That sure is a nice fire truck," he said with admiration.
"Thanks," the girl replied. The fire-fighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's t**....
"Little partner," the fire-fighter said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."
The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."
What did the Mexican firefighter name his 2 sons?
Jose and Josb
Joke my dad told me a long time ago, although I know he didn't create it
If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain,.....
Can a h**... get laid off?
The ladder
A man was trapped in a burning building and a firefighter yelled through the window, "You have two possible exit points, this ladder or the stairs." The man chose the latter. He died.
A man walks into a bar
His name is Nathan Abe (initials NA) and he is firefighter, a second later a arsonist girl named Clair Laurence (initials CL)walks into the bar. The two start to hit it off. Eventually they go home together, the next day the mans mom calls. She asks about love life. He says, "its kind of ironic bond".
An engineer, a doctor and a priest are playing golf
There is an old joke about an engineer, a priest, and a doctor enjoying a round of golf. Ahead of them is a group playing so slowly and inexpertly that in frustration the three ask the greenkeeper for an explanation. That's a group of blind firefighters, they are told. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse last year, so we let them play for free.
The priest says, I will say a prayer for them tonight.
The doctor says, Let me ask my ophthalmologist colleagues if anything can be done for them.
And the engineer says, Why can't they play at night?"
Johnny was in class one day...
and the teacher was asking everyone what their parents do. One said her dad was a firefighter, another said his mom was a nurse. When the teach asked Johnny what his dad does Johnny said "Well my dad is a stripper in a gay bar, and if the guy looks good and the money is right he'll have s**... with him out back in the alley." The teacher asked everyone to take their seats and sit quietly, then asked Johnny to step into the hall. She asked Johnny if his dad was really a stripper in a gay bar and Johnny said "Absolutely not. He's the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, but I was too embarrassed to say that."
I'm getting a little tired of these people coming to my door telling me I need to be "saved" or "I'll burn"...
s**... firefighters.
What is the Asian firefighter's favorite song?
The Sound of Sirens
A bar is burning to the ground, and a team of firefighters rush in to put it out.
A bar is burning to the ground and a team of firefighters rush in to put out the fire. When they get inside they see an Irishman passed out from smoke inhalation. They drag him out of the bar and eventually the Irishman comes to. The firefighter says "you were there, how did this whole thing get started?!" The Irishman responds "I don't know it was burning when I walked in"
What did the firefighter p**... say when he walked into the club?
Where my hose at?
A place got lit on fire
But the firefighters were too late to reach and put it out. Media arrived as well to which one of the firefighter giving report said, "I've got a good news and a bad news, the bad news is, 41 children died in that fire. But the good news is it was an orphanage, so I have no parents to notify"
What kind of women are attracted to firefighters?
Hose!
Working at home s**......
....if you're a firefighter.
Message from Europe
European: If your house is burning, should firefighters help you?
American: Yes of course. That is logical. And im willing to pay tax for it.
European: If you get robbed, should the police help you?
American: Yes of course. That is logical. And im willing to pay tax for it.
European: If you get hurt, should doctors help you?
American: Absolutely not! We dont want socialist p**....
A lot of people think that firefighters are overpaid, but recently a pole was taken...
...and they all fell through a hole in the floor.
-Milton Jones
Penguins are at war
During a intense trench firefight, a young private that was recently drafted starts balling saying he cant handle it.
The commanding officer ferociously waddles over and screams "its either us or them"!
The private pauses for a second. Looks up and says "its not always black and white"
[OC]
So my coworkers and I were sent to "sensitivity training"
The lady running it said, "you have to use the right words to refer to people, because you don't want to offend them. Instead of 'policeman', say 'police officer'. Instead of 'fireman' say 'firefighter'. Don't say 'chairman', say 'chairperson'."
"Um, excuse me," I said, "I think they prefer to be called people with disabilities'."
What do you call women with a f**... for firefighters?
Fire h**....
A cop and a firefighter die and go to heaven.
God gives them each some wings, with a warning that if they have even one bad thought, they'll lose their wings.
A little while goes by. The cop and firefighter are checking out heaven together. Then, a smoking hot girl walks by. The firefighter's wings fall off.
The firefighter bends over to pick up his wings, and the cop's wings fall off.
A cop, a firefighter, and a bureaucrat are at a elementary school career day...
The cop brags, I'm the fastest one out of the three. I can respond to a threat in one minute
The firefighter says, That's nothing, I can run into a burning building and rescue someone in 30 seconds
The bureaucrat responds, pfff, I can work 9-5 and be home by 2
A teacher asks her primary school students what their father do for a living
"So, Timothy, what does your father do ?"
"My dad is a firefighter !"
"Fantastic ! And you Samantha, what does your father do ?"
" He's an accountant !"
"Wonderful ! And yours, Jimmy ?"
Poor little Jimmy then breaks into tears and wails "my father is dead !"
"Oh, I'm so sorry Jimmy, I didn't know... But did he do before dying ?"
"Well, he was all like : ARGLALRGHALRLALGALHA !"
What do you call a firefighter not on the first floor of the fire station during an emergency?
A part time stripper
As a firefighter, I know there is one thing that we always save no matter how bad the fire.
The foundation
I hate those people who come and knock on my door, telling me how I have to be "saved" or else I'll "burn"
s**... firefighters.
Once, me and my family wanted to bake some marshmallows in the campfire.
We had the poles with marshmallows sticked to them prepared when we heard sirens. We all ran out to see what happened. The neighbours' house was on fire and I saw a lot of firefighters trying to get the fire under control. The neighbours looked at us with pure disgust. That was the moment I realized we were still holding the sticks with marshmallows.
Saw some videos about the fires burning near Athens.
Apparently nobody told the firefighters that you can't use water to put out a Greece fire.
There was a firefighter who always recited a poetry verse before extinguishing a blaze.
He was a real prose before hose kinda guy.
Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station.
The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is?"
Little Johnny's hand shot up and the firefighter called on him.
Little Johnny replied: "That's how Mommy knows supper is ready!"
A man with no arms and no legs always had a dream of becoming a firefighter.
His mother didn't want to crush his dreams but she knew he would never be accepted. She let him set up an interview so he could be let down slowly. Surprisingly, she picked him up and he gave her the news that he got the job. She was shocked. On his first day of work, she wanted to check in on him so she called 911 and reported a fire at her home. She waited outside as she anxiously waited to watch her son in action. As the fire truck flies down the street, she sees her son attached to the top, yelling: Weyoweyoweyo !
What kind of work do firefighters do on the 4th of July?
Firework
A squad of potatoes is engaged in a firefight after being sent to secure several important roads...
Gunfire and explosions are raining down on the group of potatoes until it's only the sergeant on his radio and a couple of others standing over the crispy skins of their fallen comrades. The General's voice suddenly blares from the radio...
"Sergeant, come in! What is your status, are the routes safe?"
"NO SIR, THE ROOTS ARE NOT SAFE - AND WE'RE DROPPING LIKE FRIES!"
Four Catholic women are talking about their sons while having coffee together
The first woman says My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone says 'Father.'
The second says My sons is a bishop. When he walks into a room, everyone says 'Your Grace.'
The third says My son is a Cardinal. When he walks into a room, everyone says 'Your Eminence.'
The fourth just quietly sips her coffee, and the other three give her a well, what about you? type look.
The fourth woman finally says My son is a handsome, 7-foot-tall firefighter. When he walks into a room, everyone says 'Oh. My. God.'
