Firefight Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

The firefighters in Greece are making the fire worse.

You aren't supposed to use water on Greece fires.

If a firefighter has 2 eyes, then what does a ballerina have?

Two, too

A Firefighter, a Sheriff, and a Paramedic are trying to get into heaven...

St. Peter greets them and tells them regardless of their heroic acts, they'll need to be able to count to ten to get into heaven.

The Sheriff goes first. He hauls out his Colt .45 and counts the shots, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7... Let me try again!" So he reloads, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7... Nope, I only got 7 shots."

So the Paramedic steps up, "I can do this." He gets into CPR position, "1 and, 2 and, 3 and, 4 and, 5... 1 and, 2 and, 3 and, 4 and, 5... Nope, CPR only goes in rounds of five."

The firefighter reluctantly goes next... "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10"

"That's amazing!" St. Peter declares, "You're the first all week. Can you count any higher?"

"Sure, 10, jack, queen, king."

Firefighters recovered just the bottom of one shoe after the shoe factory burned down

It was the sole survivor.

A Compilation of Awful, Somewhat Nerdy Jokes

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"


"To who?"

"To whom*."
What do they do to tickle me elmo before he leaves the factory?

Give him two test tickles!
What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
Two atoms duck into the trenches after an intense firefight.

One atom exclaims, "I think I lost an electron!"

The other asks if he's sure, and the atom replies, "Yes! I'm positive!"

If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain,.....

Can a hooker get laid off?

Penguins are at war

During a intense trench firefight, a young private that was recently drafted starts balling saying he cant handle it.

The commanding officer ferociously waddles over and screams "its either us or them"!

The private pauses for a second. Looks up and says "its not always black and white"


How can you tell someone's a firefighter?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

What did the firefighter pimp say when he walked into the club?

Where my hose at?

The firefighters dog

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmation dog. The children started discussing what the dog's duties might be.

"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.

"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."

A third child concluded. "No silly, they use the dogs to find the fire hydrant!"

A French General sees a German and sends a scout over a hill.

After a little bit, the general hears gunshots, and the scout does not return.
Angry, the general sends a squad over the hill. Once again, there are gunshots, and the squad doesn't return.
The general cursed and stomped the ground and sent a whole platoon over the hill. Yet again, a firefight is heard, and the platoon doesn't return.
Infuriated, the general sent his entire command over the hill. Tanks rolled over the hill and failed to return after a massive firefight ensued. A private crawled back over the hill with his legs on the other side of the hill and exclaimed "It's a trap! There are two Germans!"

Why did the firefighter remove the calendar from a burning house?

To save the date!

They say firefighters deserve higher wages

but apparently a poll was taken and they all fell through a hole in the floor.

How many firefighters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one, but it took three to get it back out

Some say firefighters aren't paid enough.

But recently a poll was taken... And they all fell through the floor.

What are the funniest firefight jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Firefight? Well, here are the best Firefight puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Firefight pick up lines to share with friends.


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