Firearm Jokes

35 firearm jokes and hilarious firearm puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about firearm that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Firearm Short Jokes

Short firearm jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The firearm humour may include short handgun jokes also.

  1. I was going through airport security and I got asked "Do you have any firearms?" Apparently, "What do you need?" wasn't the right answer.
  2. I think my wife put paste all over our firearms She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns.
  3. I saw a woman at the fuel pump spill gasoline on her arm and then light a cigarette. The police arrested her for waving a firearm.
  4. This lady was at the gas station pumping gas and smoking a cigarette when her arm caught fire... When the police arrived they shot her for waving a firearm.
  5. Why should you always keep a firearm in the small room by your front door? Foyer protection
  6. Classified ad I was reading the paper today and saw a nice firearm at a good price. "French rifle: never been fired, only dropped once."
  7. When I asked the tattoo artist to cover my arms with flames, they refused. I don't have a firearms permit.
  8. Why did the cops arrest the man while his hands were burning? Because he was waving a firearm.
  9. What's the difference between a firearm and a firework? Well one is banned in many us states for causing deadly injuries...
    ...and the other is a gun.
  10. A husband is divorcing his wife coz she poured glue all over his firearms... He says "She denies it, but I am sticking to my guns"

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Firearm One Liners

Which firearm one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with firearm? I can suggest the ones about rifle and pistol.

  1. What do you call a firearm made out of salt? A salt rifle.
  2. Rifling changed firearms forever. It was revolutionary.
  3. Why did the cops arrest the man who set his hand on fire? Possession of a Firearm.
  4. What do you call a firearm that can shoot salt? A salt rifle.
  5. What's a cats favorite firearm? A meowser
  6. What type of firearms does the Wonka chocolate factory security teams use the UMP-A
  7. Why did the man go to prison after he was burned? Because he had a firearm
  8. What firearm does a lawyer prefer? Appellate gun.
  9. What is a pirates favourite firearm? The M80.
  10. Kurt Cobain was a smart guy... but he couldn't handle a firearm to save his life.
  11. An American walks into a firearms dispensary...
  12. I like shooting firearms; I get a kick out of 'em.
  13. Why was the Human Torch arrested? He had firearms.
  14. What do you say if you're testing a new firearm? "I'll take a shot"
  15. I just flew in from Connecticut.... ....and boy are my firearms tired.

Firearm joke, I just flew in from Connecticut....

Great Firearm Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends

What funny jokes about firearm you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean machine gun jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make firearm pranks.

What do you call an angry firearm?

A p**...-tol.

Why should you always keep a loaded firearm in the small room by your front door?

Foyer protection.

A man went to a gas station

To pump up his car, but as he went to do so, the nozzle set his arm on fire. He then got back into his car and headed for the hospital. As he was on the highway, he was waving his burning arm out of the window, but was seen by a cop. The cop then pulled him over and promptly arrested him for possession of a firearm.

An old lady was smoking and pumping gas...

Next thing I know, she's running around the parking lot, screaming, with her arm on fire. The cops showed up and arrested her for waving a firearm in public.

Friends do crosswords

Friend 1: emphatic NO, five letters
Friend 2: Never
Friend 1: firearm, three letters
Friend 2: Gun
Friend 1: disgust, three letters
Friend 2: ugh
Friend 1: form of charity, four letters
Friend 2: give
Friend 1: female sheep, three letters
Friend 2: ewe
Friend 1: Pixar movie, two letters
Friend 2: up

A lady was putting gas in her car today while smoking a cigarette.

Unfortunately, the lady caught her arm of fire. She was frantically moving her flaming arm in the air until a police officer brutally slammed her to the ground and handcuffed her. "Why are you arresting her?" I said. "She was waving a firearm" he responded.

If an i**... immigrant sets fire to their arm

Is it an i**... firearm?

The Band ACDC was Arrested For Firearm Possession...

They told the officer they only Shoot to Thrill

Firearm joke, What firearm does a lawyer prefer?