Fire Jokes

Funniest Fire Short Jokes

Short fire jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fire humour may include short burn jokes also.

1. What's the difference between a police officer and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone else, you know it's been fired
2. My boss: You're fired. Me: *turns in gun and badge*
   My boss: You're a waiter where did you get those
3. I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer Smoking or Non-smoking . Apparently the correct terms are Cremation and Burial .
4. Fire is destroying a world famous landmark in Paris right now. And there's notre dame thing they can do about it.
5. Breaking News Trump's personal library just burned down The fire consumed both books and he hasn't even finished coloring the second one
6. I got my first job as an accountant at 22, right out of college. Suddenly, the week after I turned 30, they fired me. 13 years of loyal service to the company, down the drain.
7. I got fired from my job as a masseur. There wasn't any specific incident, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.
8. Cigarettes are like hamsters Totally harmless, until you stick one in your mouth and set it on fire.
9. I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday. My boss said, Clean our your desk, and I'll see you in the office on Monday.
10. What do hamsters and cigarettes have in common? They're both perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire

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Fire One Liners

Which fire one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fire? I can suggest the ones about fuse and shoot.

1. Bullets are so weird They only do their job AFTER they're fired
2. I was fired from the keyboard factory today. I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
3. Elon is firing twitter employees with bad posture I have a hunch I might be next.
4. My boss fired me for making too many asian jokes It was the end of my Korea
5. Why did the fox News Christmas tree catch fire? They left it too close to the gaslight.
6. I searched google for "how to start a large fire" 52,000 matches
7. I've just been fired from the clock making factory after all those extra hours I put in.
8. Why was the rifle unemployed? Because it was fired
9. If H20 is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside? K9P
10. Why was the Pepsi employee fired? He tested positive for coke.
11. I just got fired for something that I didn't do... my job.
12. There was a cross-eyed teacher who got fired Because she couldnt control her pupils.
13. I got fired from my job at the cemetery yesterday... I made a grave mistake.
14. A stormtrooper just got sent to the firing squad. He will be missed.
15. What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire? Amazon kindle.

Setting Fire Jokes

Here is a list of funny setting fire jokes and even better setting fire puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• This is ridiculous. It's July 6th and people are still setting off fireworks. One almost caught our Christmas decorations on fire.
• Give a man a fire, and he's warm for the night. Set a man on fire, and he's warm for the rest of his life.
• Build a man a fire and you'll keep him warm for a night set a man on fire and you'll keep him warm for the rest of his life
• Build a man a fire, and he'll stay warm for a day... SET a man on fire, and he'll stay warm for the rest of his life.
• Give a man fire and he'll be warm for a day Set a man on fire and he'll stop bothering you.
• On her deathbed my wife said, "Sweety, I will see you in Heaven." Since then I have kicked a puppy, stole from 4 shops and set fire to an orphanage.!
• Cigarettes are just like weasels... Both are completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and set them on fire.
• Build a man a fire, you'll warm him for a day. Set a man on fire, you'll warm him for the rest of his life.
• If you build a man a fire he will be warm for a couple hours. If you set a man on fire he will be warm for the rest of his life.
• Samsung just announced a series of water resistant phones.... Just what you want in a phone that sets itself on fire - to be water resistant.

Caught Fire Jokes

Here is a list of funny caught fire jokes and even better caught fire puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• It has been 2 years and still nobody knows why Notre Dame caught fire.... ...but Quasimodo has a hunch.
• When did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? When his hand caught fire.
• I worked at a restaurant that specializes in pizza, but I got fired for getting my finger caught in the dough roller... ...she got fired too.
• My wife called me to tell me my son was caught for setting a house on fire I corrected her by saying, Arson
• This lady was at the gas station pumping gas and smoking a cigarette when her arm caught fire... When the police arrived they shot her for waving a firearm.
• Why was the chef fired? He was caught stroganoff
• Why didn't Pinocchio make it thru puberty? He caught on fire.
• My reddish-brown Toyota minivan caught on fire yesterday It's a burnt burnt sienna Sienna.
• The Greeks made a weapon that caught things on fire and could not be put out with water, it only made the flames bigger. They called it Greece fire.
• An 80s singer caught himself on fire, what does he do? Stop, Drop, and Rick-Roll

Fire Burn Jokes

Here is a list of funny fire burn jokes and even better fire burn puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Did you know that you can tell how smart an ant is by catching it on fire? If it burns, it's a smart ant.
  If it doesn't, it's retardant.
• Firemen are called to a burning pub. They drag out an Irishman and asked him how the fire started. "I don't know." He says, "It was on fire when I went in there."
• A Kraft cheese factory recently burned down... No one reported the fire for hours, because no one believed that there actually were hot Singles in the area.
• Why do the firemen take out people from a burning building before they put the fire out with water? Bros before hose.
• Today I decided to burn some calories.. So I lit a fat kid on fire.
• My girlfriend is just like a burning hot fire You take away the oxygen and they're gone.
• Best joke my dad ever told me (he wasn't good at telling jokes) Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?
  A: To put out forest fires.
  Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
  A: To put out burning ducks.
• Two Eskimos light a fire in their boat in an attempt to stay warm. However, the fire burns through the boat and it sinks, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
• A mathematician is in a burning hotel room. When he spots the fire extinguisher, he says, ok, the problem is solvable and goes back to sleep.
• Why did the mad scientist deliberately create a huge fire tornado? Some people just want to watch the whirled burn.

Friendly Fire Jokes

Here is a list of funny friendly fire jokes and even better friendly fire puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why do police officers wear blue? Because the black uniforms led to too much friendly fire.
• AMA: I am a submarine naval commander discharged for friendly fire in an underwater sea battle Oops, wrong sub.
• Why did Walt Disney fire Snow White? 'Cause she kept sitting on Pinocchios' face singing 'tell me lies, tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies'.
  *Joke's from my Dad and his friend*
• TIL the excuse the US Marine used in May 1943 after accidentally friendly fire'ing a British U-boat. Woops, wrong sub.
• Cant work for my boss anymore Me: I cant work for my boss anymore after what he told me yesterday.
  Friend: What did he say?
  Me: " You're fired "
• TIL that during WWII 3 U.S. submarines sank due to friendly fire. Whoops, wrong sub.
• My friend got fired from his cow milking job because of his erratic behavior. He was considered to be a danger to himself and udders.
• What do you call a fatality that results from friendly fire in a gang war? Homiecide
• I sneezed in front of my stuttering friend and said, "man, my sinuses are on fire". "i-i-is i-i-it an-an-allergy?" he asked
  I said, "no, it's a metaphor".
• I left my job today Friend: why?
  Me: I couldn't work for that boss after what he said to me.
  Friend: what did he say?
  Me: you're fired

Free Fire Jokes

Here is a list of funny free fire jokes and even better free fire puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I'm not saying it's cold outside, but… I had to take a chisel along when I walked the dog to free him from a fire hydrant.
• If you love someone, set them free. If you hate someone, set them on fire.
• I just got fired from my new job at the pharmacy. Apparently "drug free workplace" and "free drug workplace" are not the same thing at all.
• What do you get if you make a joke about the leader of the free world on television in the country that is referred to as the leader of the free world. Fired and charged with a federal offence.
• An englishman was sued for discrimination after firing all the redheads from his s**... club. He was able to get off Scot-free.

Silly & Ridiculous Fire Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about fire you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fuel jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fire pranks.